A/N: Good evening. I'd like to introduce you to the new story belonging in the Of Births, Deaths and Everything In Between series.
For those of you who haven't read 'Of Births and Deaths', 'Of New Lives, New Scars and Old Mischief Makers' and 'Of Mothers, Sons and Lovers' you will possibly need to read it. On the surface the story follows the novels as much as possible, but somewhere along the way we kind of deviated from cannon-ish. This is the fourth instalment (I bet you all thought I wasn't coming back didn't you!) of the series and we're now following the Order of the Phoenix book.

Any of you wondering what on earth took me so long…well, many things. I finished writing my novel, I had a hundred other things to do and lately my life has turned to chaos when my brother, his girlfriend AND their 10 month old moved in with us AND my grandmother has come to stay AND my mother has to move into my bedroom. Spare a thought for me lol

Anyway, as always, my utmost thanks to the best beta on earth Spin, who is just amazing at taking my musings and making them all presentable and readable.

I hope you all enjoy it, and make sure to leave a review and let me know what you think.

-0-

Harry kicked the rocks on the abandoned road outside McGonagall Manor. The summer had been long, and boring if he was being brutally honest. He'd spent countless hours lying outside, staring up at the sky. For some reason, Ron and Hermione had not owled, and Minerva had been absent for days at a time, returning for dinner, and then slipping out again, leaving him alone in the big manor with only Kenna to keep him company.

It wasn't that he didn't understand. Voldemort was back, of course he knew that, but what he didn't understand was the silence that constantly surrounded him. Minerva had become extremely good at veiling her feelings from him through their bond. Before he could feel little bits, seeping through her shields, but now he only ever felt something from her when she wanted him to, or when he assumed she was in trouble.

There had been one such night when he'd woken up in a sweat after the dreams, or nightmares more like it. He'd sat up and immediately grabbed his chest as a stab of fear ran through him. But before he could react to it, it was gone. He'd gone to knock on Minerva's door, but after there was no answer he'd peered in, finding the bed empty and unslept in. It was then that he realised things were being kept from him and he didn't like it one bit.

"Master Harry, would you like some tea?"

Harry shielded his eyes to look at Kenna, who had grown a little while he'd been away. She looked older at least, but she was still small and rather shy.

"No thanks," he said glumly. "I'm fine."

"Mistress said to make sure you're eating," she said softly.

Apparently Kenna had vastly different ideas about how to interact with Harry than Taran did. Taran had told her off more than once for being less than formal with him, but Harry encouraged her, not really liking the standoffishness that Taran offered him.

"Yeah, well, Mistress isn't here, is she?" he said, getting up and walking to the gates. Minerva had strengthened the wards, but Harry could get through them now they were bonded. They were of the same blood, no matter in what capacity, and so the wards recognised him. Hence; he found himself walking down a deserted road in the middle of summer ignoring Kenna's worried calls to come back.

He stuck his hands in his pockets as a farmer drove past in a Land Rover. He nodded, but didn't wave like the friendly man did. He didn't really feel like chatting, and he'd prefer to not get involved. In fact, he was feeling quite sorry for himself.

He stopped outside a field where there was a kid playing with a dog. Harry watched the boy working the dog, trying to round up sheep. It wasn't what Harry considered fun, but it did catch his interest and it wasn't long until the young lad noticed him and walked over with a friendly wave.

"Alright?" he asked, in way of greeting.

Harry just nodded, leaving the boy to shrug and whistle three times. The young sheep dog looked excited as it took off, running behind the sheep and trying to get them in the pen. The boy didn't say anything else, and Harry didn't offer. It was nice just to have company. Normal company that was taller than three feet. Harry noticed a few things that the boy did and wondered how long it would have taken for him to learn how to do them. The whistling alone was more complicated than Harry had originally thought, and he found himself leaning to one side to see if the dog could get the sheep through that small gate.

He shivered.

He wasn't sure what was going on, but he shivered again, noticing the dog had stopped corralling the animals and was braced near the pen growling, with his hackles raised. Harry had a sudden moment of clarity as the boy beside him moaned and fell to his knees, all the heat and life drying up in the air as the temperature dropped.

"No!" Harry whispered, looking up, willing himself to be wrong.

He wasn't.

He sprang into action before he could think about what he was seeing, grabbing the boy and racing down the fence line to another gate.

"Come on," he groaned, pulling the lad through but not bothering to close it. He could see a small barn up ahead and he hoped there was nothing in it that would bear witness to what he was about to do.

The cold followed them, as did the ever increasing sense of dread. He wished fleetingly for Minerva, but when she didn't appear, he assumed he was on his own.

He threw the boy into the hay and spun around, brandishing his wand at the Dementor that flew in through the doors behind them.

"Expecto Patronum!" he screamed.

The familiar form of his father's Animagusflew out, racing towards the oncoming threat and dispatching it with a force that knocked the door from its hinges. Harry was so caught up in watching, he hadn't noticed the other one until the nameless boy Harry had been so ambivalent towards groaned.

He spun to see the Dementor reaching down to seal its gaping mouth over the boy's, attempting to rid him of his soul, and he redirected his Patronus towards it, nodding tiredly when it was finally dispatched also.

It was only when the air began to warm again that the boy opened his eyes and looked around.

"You're an alien!" he said in a broad accent. "Ge' away! Don't come near me!"

Harry sighed as the boy scrambled to his feet and ran off, calling for his dog as he did. He watched him for a moment, before he realised he needed to report this to someone. There had been not one, but two Dementors in the middle of the Scottish Highlands; a connection Harry could only assume was himself. He lay back in the hay for a moment but thought better of it; he should get home as soon as possible. Still shaky from the Dementors effects and the first major magical use since the day before school had ended, Harry trudged back to the manor, sighing when he once again found it empty.

"Master Harry?" Kenna called as he walked through the door. "Master has been gone for an hour, I shall make sandwiches."

"Doesn't matter Kenna," Harry sighed sadly. "I'll be in my room."

He climbed the stairs, trailing his hand over the wall as he walked the length of the first floor landing, pausing for a moment at the doorway to Minerva's room. He sighed once more and leant against it tiredly. He wanted her home, but he didn't want to be a burden, and he didn't want to worry her. She clearly had a lot to deal with, so he pushed off the wood and went to his own room, falling face-first onto the bed and falling unconscious.

His dreams were vivid and terrifying as he was lost in a screaming vortex of terror. It wasn't until he woke up sweating that he even knew it was a dream. Brushing his fringe out of his eyes, he sighed as he fell back onto the bed, frowning as something crunched under his head. He picked up the slightly crumpled letter, his blood running cold as he noticed the Ministry seal.

Dear Mr. Potter,

We have received intelligence that you performed the Patronus Charm at twenty-three minutes past nine this evening in a Muggle-inhabited area and in the presence of a Muggle.
The severity of this breach of the Decree for the Reasonable Restriction of Underage Sorcery has resulted in your expulsion from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Ministry representatives will be calling at your place of residence shortly to destroy your wand.
As you have already received an official warning for a previous offence under Section 13 of the International Confederation of Warlocks' Statute of Secrecy, we regret to inform you that your presence is required at a disciplinary hearing at the Ministry of Magic at 9 a.m. on the 12th of August.

Hoping you are well,
Yours sincerely,

Mafalda Hopkirk

Improper Use of Magic Office, Ministry of Magic

He dropped the letter and got shakily to his feet, unsure of what to do. In a move he hadn't needed since the bad days at the Dursley's, he dropped to the floor and slid under his bed, crying into the crooks of his arms until he once again fell asleep.

-0-

Minerva took a deep breath of fresh air during the lull in the meeting. She'd had to get out of the room before she took someone's head off. She couldn't understand why she was feeling so out of sorts. Actually, that wasn't completely true. She missed Harry fiercely, but she knew that the work she was involved in, the work with the Order was more important than anything else at the moment. Treaties had to be brokered, and past allegiances needed to be strengthened. It was hard work, firstly tracking down past friends and calling in favours, and consequently she had barely slept in her own bed in the last month. Harry was suffering if Kenna was to be believed when she did stop in at the Manor but in a war against Voldemort, she knew that relationships often suffered. Take Albus and her for example. She had barely seen him outside meetings and although the pain of missing Harry was a mite keener, she craved his touch.

"My dear," the very man occupying her thoughts whispered in her ear.

"Albus," she breathed, letting him take her in his arms.

"You have worked hard and slept little," he said kindly. "I want you to go home. Talk to Harry, hug your son."

She looked up at him, gauging his seriousness. She sighed once more, letting her forehead rest against his chest.

"I miss him, but you need me."

"Even Severus has had a night off, Min," Albus chuckled, massaging her shoulders gently as they swayed to music only they could hear. "You need some sleep, and I would be happier knowing it was at the Manor."

"He suffers," she said simply, knowing that he would understand.

"As do you, my love. Spend some time at home. I am not so old I do not remember how everyone suffered through the first war. While time is of the essence, we all have more to lose now, which is why we must work to make sure we do not lose it anyway."

"I will do as you ask," Minerva caved, chuckling morosely. "I suppose it is too much to ask that you join me?"

"It is," he said sadly, "but I may be able to clear a few hours tomorrow night if you wish to have dinner with me? Harry as well."

"I think we'd like that," she whispered, cupping his cheek and kissing him gently. "Shall I stay for the rest?"

"I think we have it covered, although I believe Miss Granger wishes to talk to with you before you go if you have the time."

"I always have time for Hermione," Minerva smiled. "However, I may not be out of here within the hour if I do stop."

"Harry needs you my dear," Albus said quietly.

"I will try and keep my time with Hermione short then," she acquiesced. "I shall miss you. Though we have not had much time, it was nice working together with you as we once did."

"You missed the rush of war?" he asked.

"I missed relying on each other. The rush is different than teaching, I admit, but I am too old to rejoice in it as I did in my youth."

"Wise words for one who looks no older than our students."

"A fact you take great delight in."

"I love you no matter the wrappings," he said, before leaning closer still, "or not wrapped in."

She threw her head back, roaring with laughter, feeling the months of tension already evaporating. She looked back at him to find his eyes twinkling as well and felt happier than she had in a long time.

"You should go before Molly decides to tell us off for acting like teenagers in the garden."

"I should," Minerva said, kissing him once more and letting her hand linger in his before finally moving into the house, seeking out her most studious pupil, and the girl she loved as much as Harry.

"Oh Minerva!" Hermione squealed as she turned the corner into the library.

"Oof, hello Hermione," she chuckled as Hermione threw herself into her arms. "How are you? Where's Ron?"

"Oh, he's off helping the twins. I wanted to ask you when we can start writing to Harry?" she asked breathlessly. "Only I don't know if Professor Dumbledore's plan is going to work. Harry's really sensitive and I don't want him to think I didn't want to write to him, I just," she grimaced, "I think this is a bad idea."

Minerva frowned, wondering what Hermione was on about.

"I'm sorry, I'm not following."

"Albus asked us not to write to Harry, so he could concentrate on, well, I'm not sure, but I think it's the wrong decision."

Minerva stilled as she felt her blood run cold. She didn't know Hermione and Ron hadn't been writing to Harry, she'd just assumed they were talking normally. She hadn't even had the time to think about why Ron and Hermione hadn't asked her when they would be visiting, and the happy feelings she had about Albus coming to dinner quickly turned to ash in her mouth.

"I didn't know," she said quietly, feeling disgusted with herself.

"Have you not been home?" Hermione asked, rather accusingly in Minerva's ears, but she felt she deserved it.

"I've been away," she said simply, knowing how sharp Hermione was and refusing to give her any ounce of detail she could extrapolate on.

"Min, he's going to be so lonely. He's been there in the manor by himself and he hates that."

"I -" She closed her eyes, opening their connection in her mind gently, and gripped Hermione's arm as she was assaulted by many feelings all colliding violently with one another.

"Oh Merlin," she whispered, cupping Hermione's cheek before rushing to the door. She flung it open and stepped down off the first step, apparating with a crack.

-0-

Harry was startled awake again as he heard the front door bang, but he curled up tighter in a ball rather than go investigate. He didn't care who it was. They'd all abandoned him; Hermione, Ron, Minerva, and Albus - he was so angry with all of them. This was supposed to be his happiness. He was supposed to have a family now, but he hadn't seen them for so long. He angrily brushed away the lone tear that ran down his face. He refused to cry.

"Harry?"

He set his jaw as Minerva called to him from the door. He went still, calling on the skills he'd learnt at the Dursley's, making sure that nobody could see or hear him.

"HARRY?" Minerva called from outside his room now.

"He's in there, Mistress," Kenna said, a little sharply considering she was talking to her Mistress. "Master has been in there all afternoon crying. He came back white as a sheet and has been crying or sleeping since."

"Thank you Kenna," Minerva whispered, and Harry felt a pang of sadness at the hurt in her voice, despite his anger.

He watched silently as Minerva's feet walked into his room to the foot of his bed. He knew she would realise he was here now, but he didn't really want to see her. She'd left him alone, and he'd been expelled from the one place he'd felt was home; even now he had his own room here. This holiday had been awful and he had been so keen to get back to school and ask Ron and Hermione why they hadn't written to him.

"I'm so sorry mo mhac [my son]," she sighed.

He couldn't see what she was doing, but he heard the creak of the bed and crumple of paper as she found the letter that would change his life.

"What on earth?"

There was a tense silence before she stood suddenly, shouting into the fireplace.

"ALBUS!"

"Minerva?"

Harry rolled his eyes as Albus appeared from the flames.

"Did you know about this?" she hissed.

"Know about what?" he asked, stepping into the room. "Where is Harry?"

"Where you imprisoned him, again. Was that what this was all about? All the missions, all the time away. Were you trying to keep us apart?"

"Minerva, you're not making sense," he said.

Harry covered his ears; uselessly it turned out, as the volume of their voices had escalated beyond normal levels.

"You kept everyone from his life. Do you not understand? Do you think so little of him that you actively seek to hurt him?"

"What? Minerva stop, I don't understand what you're saying."

"HARRY!" she screamed. "You have forbidden Harry's friends from contacting him, and kept me so busy I have barely had time to come home and kiss his forehead before dragging me back out again!"

He didn't want to hear it. He hadn't known she'd been home at night, but right now he didn't care.

"STOP!" Harry yelled, suddenly appearing out from under the bed without noticing how he got there. "STOP! Leave me alone, like you've done all holiday. Just go."

"Harry, darling, I had no idea. Leanabh [baby], don't get angry. It's okay."

"No. I was home here, then you left and I was all alone until I realised home was you, with you. And you weren't here. Hermione and Ron weren't here, Albus wasn't here."

"Harry -"

"I don't want to hear it," he said coldly. "Get out."

Albus left without another word, but Minerva lingered.

"Tha gaol agam ort leanabh [I love you baby]," Minerva sighed, reaching forward to touch his arm before thinking the better of it.

She left him to his own devices, and as soon as the door closed, he wished he could call her back. He dropped to the floor, curling up in a ball and letting the tears fall.

"Oh Master Harry," Kenna sighed as he felt her tiny hand patting his hair.

He didn't notice her levitate him back into bed, or pay any attention to her switching his clothes before quietly popping away.

-0-

"I cannot believe you!" Minerva rounded on Albus as they entered her office. "I thought we were past this, I thought we were moving on to you being as much his family as I was. I thought -"

"Minerva, there are reasons -"

"Don't you dare!" she thundered. "Don't you dare stand there and tell me it's for his own benefit, or for mine, or anyone else's. That boy was destroyed at Petunia's and you have turned his home, MY HOUSE, into the same nightmare with your subterfuge."

"Minerva, you don't understand. I have reason to believe -"

"I don't want to hear it," she said, turning away from him. "I need you to fix this," Minerva said. "You know as well as I that the charges are bogus, and if he did indeed form a fully corporeal Patronus, as we know he can, then he should be praised rather than expelled."

"Minerva -"

"Albus, you cannot take Hogwarts away from him."

"I do not intend to, however, Cornelius obviously is not working alone," he said, his tone suggesting he was giving up for now. "I will fix it, but Harry will need to be at the Ministry on the 12th. I suggest moving him to Grimmauld Place in the meantime. It may help."

Before she could say another word, he was gone.

She sighed, falling back in her chair and summoning Taran for a drink.

"Mistress?" he bowed, his tone never wavering, despite the judgement she could see in his eyes.

"Two fingers of scotch if you would."

"You should eat," he suggested, even as he did as she asked.

"I don't know if I can stomach anything at the present," she admitted, holding the glass against her forehead. "Why did you not say anything?" she asked him, taking a sip and rejoicing in the burn as it slid down her throat.

"Was not my place," he said quietly.

"You have been my elf for longer than I needed one. You should have told me."

"Mistress has never asked before, and Taran does not meddle in Mistress's affairs."

"Rubbish Taran," Minerva scoffed, downing the rest of her scotch with a grimace. "Is this still about Harry? You disapprove of him?"

"It is simply about this elf being loyal to his family's name," he said quietly, disappearing before Minerva could ask him what he meant.

She sat for a short while before realising she had much more important things to do, other than feel sorry for herself. She stood, brushing her robes off self-consciously and walked purposefully towards Harry's room. She paused outside, touching the name plaque on the door, wishing in a way that the woman whose room it once belonged to could be here with her, guiding her steps.

"Harry?" she whispered, sighing thankfully when he didn't answer.

She wanted to see him, to hold him, but she had no idea what to say to him. She'd done just as the Dursley's had done; she'd neglected him just like they had, and it was eating away at her. She sat down tiredly on the bed, watching as her son's chest rose and fell steadily. She marvelled at how badly their lives always seemed to turn, just when they thought they were on the right track. She knew that in times of war, things didn't always go to plan, but this was her son. The son of the woman she had loved as a daughter, changed now to her own kin. They shared a bond which she had ignored. How long would it have taken to spare a moment to check in with him through their connection? To love him, to send him off to sleep with thoughts of how much she adored him, and how much she did everything for his safety?

She shook her head at herself.

"I'm a foolish old woman."

"Máthair [Mother]?"

"Hello leòmhann beag [little lion]."

"Missed you," he mumbled, before waking up properly. "Máthair!"

She gasped as he practically jumped into her arms, wrapping his ever growing body as tightly around hers as he could.

"I'm so sorry Harry," she whispered. "I let you down, I didn't know Albus had done those things, but I am sorry for the part I played as well."

"It's okay," he mumbled into her neck. "I'm used to it."

"That's even more reason for me to be sorry," she said into his hair. "You and I are supposed to count on each other, and I forgot that." He shrugged, making her want to try harder. "I should have checked in on you when you were awake."

"I get it," Harry said pulling away. "You guys have things to do, but I don't know why I can't help. I brought him back; he's back because of me." The tears started falling down his face, and Minerva realised that despite the few weeks discussing it together at the beginning of the holidays, he hadn't really come to terms with Cedric's death.

"Oh leanabh [baby], none of this is your fault," she said, gripping his arms so he looked at her. "None of this. He would have come back no matter what. And darling, what happened to Cedric is not your fault either."

"HE DIED!" Harry snapped, standing up and pacing back and forth in front of the door. "He died in front of me, right there. I could have grabbed him, I could have -"

"No," she said quietly. "No Harry, you could not have done any differently. Voldemort killed Cedric Diggory. Harry Potter did not kill Cedric Diggory."

"But I -"

"Don't Harry," she pleaded. "Please don't do this to yourself. You need to let this go."

"It's all my fault," he whispered.

She rose from the bed, coming to stand in front of him, bending a little to look into his eyes.

"When I was a young woman, I fought in a war I was too young to fight in. I made many friends while we were stationed in Europe, one girl in particular. We fought together and lived together. One day we travelled out with our platoon and I spied something in the distance, and broke off to investigate. She went with me and I stupidly went into the building without clearing it." She wiped a tear from her cheek as she looked deep into his eyes. "She died in my arms."

"I don't know what to do."

The guilt she felt returned tenfold as she pulled him into her body again.

"We'll get through this," she whispered. "Are you tired, or can we talk about what happened today?"

"I saved him," he said in way of an answer, his words shaking. "There were two of them. I'd gone for a walk, which was stupid I know, but I was," he looked sadly down at his feet, "I was lonely and there were only so many hours I could talk to Kenna."

She nodded without saying anything.

"He was herding sheep, so I stopped to watch, but then it suddenly got cold and I realised what was happening. We ran to a barn and I cast a Patronus, I fought them both off and now they've expelled me."

"I know neither of us are very happy with him, but Albus will fix this."

She watched as Harry shivered slightly, a hard look coming across his face before disappearing completely. She found it curious, but didn't comment as he laid his head tiredly against her shoulder.

"Can I, would it be okay if you stayed with me tonight?" he asked quietly.

From the tired eyes to the sad voice, she realised that his nightmares were back, so instead of answering him, she took him by the hand and led him into her room across the hall.

"You hop in while I change," she said, kissing the scar on his forehead.

He smiled and went to lay in her big bed, closing his eyes before she had even shut the bathroom door. She used the time she was in the shower to let her own tears fall. She leant against the opulent tiles and wept until she was sure she had no tears left. She had let him down so much, but she was not going to do that again. She needed to be better, and with the start of school looming, she would be. She would tell Albus that she would take care of the school while he took care of everything else. It was more than enough after what she had already done for him.

She quickly changed into her pyjamas and dried her hair with a simple charm, slipping beside her son with a sigh.

"Máthair [Mother]," he mumbled, turning instinctively towards her and snuggling up to her side.

She spent a scant few moments stroking her hands through his unruly hair before pulling him even closer as she rolled towards him.

"Tha gu seo balach biodheach [I'm here beautiful boy]," she whispered. "And I will be, from now on. Tha gealltanas [I promise]."

She fell into a comfortable sleep, her mind pausing from its turmoil to enjoy the sensation of her son finding strength through her.