Hello everybody, this is a very depressing ficlet, inspired by this beautiful video by Destiel Is Real and its song, Sleeping At Last - Saturn (whose lyrics made me cry, you should totally read them, it may change the way you look at life and death): watch?v=SDbEyEbCI1M
Sorry in advance.
Castiel has been told that sometimes, people write down what they feel to find relief. They write down what they can not say aloud.
What they could not say aloud.
So he decides to try his luck, because after all, he has already lost everything. The angel sits to the ebony desk, in front of the typing machine which looks like it's waiting for his first move, and when he feels ready, he gets started.
His fingers are running over the buttons as fast as his thoughts and the key frantically hits the blank page, blurring it with black print, staining it with the dactylographer's suffering who whishes to get rid of it.
"Dear Dean,
This is unreasonable from me to write this letter as you will never read it. Moreover, I should be with your brother, supporting him and helping him organize your funeral but I can't bring myself to do it. At least, not now.
First, I have to tell you - rather write you - everything I never knew how to tell you.
Dean, I am very old. However, next to you, I have learnt more in one decade than during my ten milleniums on duty. Next to you, I was only a child, only a "baby in a trenchcoat"."
Castiel stops for a while, overwhelmed by the memory of this afternoon at the diner and a half-smile stretches his lips.
"I have traveled the universe, I saw the birth and death of stars, but the only one I will miss is you. When I accepted to save you from perdition, nothing could have prepared me for the beauty of your soul. Humans can merely see it in the form of a bright orb, but the angels can distinguish all the tiny nuances of it.
And so many reflections in yours. The most wonderful galaxy, the most chaotic constellation, the most lonely planet... If only you could have seen how gorgeous you were, Dean, finally see through your self-hate and fear.
Because you were the best and the wisest man I've ever known, and I will be forever grateful to God to have given me the opportunity to meet you."
Castiel wipes strange little drops of water which were pearling in the corners of his eyes and writes the final line:
"You are gone, now, and it will soon be my turn. Nevertheless, you have left behind you a light that will never fade; the one of faith in humanity."
I hope you liked it and would be very happy if you could leave a review since English is not my mother tongue :D
PS: Yes, I totally stole the quote from Sherlock BBC, being a fan of Johnlock too^^