Ok, so I was bored and… yeah… I wrote a humor fanfic!! I'm also kinda…. You know… insane at the moment… ENJOY

I own nothing!!

2 A.M

My eyes shot open. I've been sleeping for a couple hours, and I can't sleep anymore. I've tried everything; counting sheep, winking, it's hopeless and I'm really getting bored. Oh well… it's not like he's sleeping.

"Edward, I'm bored," I said. He started laughing. Terrible, terrible, vampire.

"Ok… what do you want to do?" He asked, still chuckling. Well, I want him to stop laughing but if I say that he'll laughing more and that won't make me less bored so…

"Entertain me," I said. Once again, there was laughing. Sometimes I don't even feel like he takes me seriously..

"Ok, what would you like me to do?" he asked again. Jeez, you'd think after around 100 years of existence you'd know ways to entertain people.

"Be creative." Now it's up to him to think of something.

"Um… alright. I can.. " he honestly can't think of something to do to entertain me!! I'll give him 45 seconds..44..43..

"You seriously can't think of something?" I asked, amazed and a little angry, but mostly bored out of my mind !!! RAWR!!

"I can!! Just.. just wait!! I can do it!!!" he yelled, jeez is he trying to convince me, or himself? 36, 35, 34..

"You've got about 30 seconds buddy so hurry up," I told him, he seemed confused

"What happens if I don't think of something?" he asked, suddenly nervous. Now it's my turn to laugh, well… sort of giggled.

"Then I'll go find someone else, better suited to entertain me." I told him, completely serious.

"And who might that be?" He asked, raising one eyebrow.

"You'll find out in about 17 seconds," I told him. "Unless you can think of something to do to entertain me dammit!!" I yelled the last part. Apparently being bored at 2 A.M makes me angry. 15, 14, 13..

"Ok! Ok! Just..um… let's…umm…" ugh this is annoying!!

"Gah!!! You're too slow!!! Form a sentence god dammit!!" I seen to have lost count…let's pick up at.."10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1!!! Ok give me your cell phone please," I told him. How can he be so uncreative!!! He's a vampire and he's very boring. When did the spark go out of our relationship?

I was then handed the cell phone. I dial the number. It rang.. and rang.. and rang..and YAY!! He picked up!!

"Hello..?" the voice grumbled. Ah yes.. 2 o'clock in the morning is when people sleep!! Of course..

"Jakey?!" I asked in a very sweet, kind of babyish voice. This is what Edward gets when he doesn't entertain me!!

"Bella?" he was suddenly awake. I smell fun coming!!!

"Yeah!!! Jakey come entertain me!!" I said into the phone, very glad that I was finally going to have fun!! Yay!!

"Umm.. okay wanna go somewhere and do something illegal?" he asked, excited now too. I squealed into the phone.

"Yes!!! What kind of illegal are we talking here? Minor, vandalism or like.. having the cops chasing after us with the sirens on?" I asked, really hoping for something more illegal than knocking over a dumpster and running away giggling,

"How about something in between, leaning closer to the second?" Jake said, awesome!! Then I remembered something.

"Jake, if we have the cops chasing us, that'll be my dad,"

"Mmm..yes. definitely something to consider…" he paused for a while. "Ooh! I know! We'll do it in La Push! Then Charlie wont be called cause were not really in Forks and shouldn't be dealt with by the Forks Police!!" he exclaimed. Ah, yes. The perfect plan, muhahahaha!!

"Excellent plan my dear Watson!!" by this time I was standing up and smiling like an idiot. I heard Jake laugh like a maniac so I was pretty sure I wasn't alone.

"Yes… now…what to do…"he said, undoubtedly stroking his chin. I joined in on the extreme thinking. This has to be good.

"Ooh!! I've got the perfect plan!! Meet me at my house in 20 minutes, wear dark clothes." And with that I hung up, immediately realizing that he would come here then we would go back to La Push…whatever. This plan was going to kick ass!!

I then began to dance around(mainly not moving anything but my hips slightly and my arms wiggling around) in circles. When I finally faced my bed I screamed. I had completely forgotten Edward was here. What a great girlfriend I am.

"Sorry I just.. you..scared me…" I partially lied. He didn't need to know I forgot he was here…

You forgot I was here didn't you," he said with a hurt look on his face. I sat down beside him and hugged him.

"Awe, puppy." He really looked like a puppy when he was sad. I guess that's why I called him puppy…weird… He immediately moved to look at me.

"Puppy?" he asked, very confused and seemingly a little angry.

"You looked like a puppy," I shrugged as I explained. I couldn't understand his expression anymore so I just sat there.

"A puppy?? I don't want to be a puppy! puppies, they're so.." I cut him off.

"Cute?" I asked. He smiled, huzzah!!(gotta love the word) Then I got up and attempted to walk past him. He grabbed me and pulled me to his chest.

"And where do you think you're going?" he whispered in my ear.

"You and I both know that you heard every word of my conversation with Jake so I don't think I need to answer that," I said, trying to escape his arms, he wouldn't let it happen.

"You're not seriously going to do anything illegal, much less with that mutt are you?" he asked.

"Yes, yes I am. And I need to change so," I shooed him with my hands. He didn't budge. Fine, he thinks I'm going to not have fun because he wont leave, not very smart for an old vampire. I walked to my closet and grabbed a black sweater and black jeans.

I still had my back to Edward, so I took off my shirt, I was wearing a bra and everything so it wasn't terrible. I then proceeded to pull on my black sweater. I changed into the jeans and went back to digging through my closet. I found black converse, gloves and a toque.

When I turned around, Edward was staring at me like a deranged lunatic and I seriously though his eyes might pop out of his head. I walked towards the door and Edward was standing in front of it in less than a second, still with the look.

I walked towards him and stopped a couple inches away.

"Move Eddie, you're in my way." I said to him, sweetly but with authority.

"What?" he said, apparently not comprehending what I was saying. I sighed and turned toward the window. I was stepping out into the tree when I happened to see Edward staring at me with even bigger eyes if that's possible. "Bella you'll get hurt!" he said. I looked at him.

"You know, I'm not completely incompetent." Then I jumped into the tree, and onto the ground. I heard a weird squawk, which I could only assume, was Edward attempting to talk. Then he was in front of me.

"What the hell was that?" I asked, referring to the weird noise. He ducked his head, ashamed. Then Jake pulled up in the driveway. He got out of the car and I had to laugh.

Jacob was wearing a black turtleneck, black pants and a black ski mask. I must say, it was hilarious, though I was wearing something similar, the ski mask was just hysterical.

Thankfully he took it off. And he was now laughing with me. I walked over to him, completely aware that Edward was right behind me. Literally, right behind me. I stopped walking and he bumped into me and somehow fell to the ground. I walked over to Jake again, snickering.

"So here's the plan…"

What do you think? Worth continuing? Well I don't care what you think, I'm continuing anyway!!! Hehehe!! I'll possibly update tomorrow, if not, then definitely Monday.

Flapwazzle!!