Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. DC Comics does. This is just a fun writing exercise.
Author's Notes: This version of Jason Todd is not the 2000's character. For some he may come off a bit OOC. The Electrum Jason is inspired by but not entirely the same as his Eighties incarnations. I happen to be a fan of both the pre-crisis and post-crisis Jason Todd. The more modern Jason is just too dark.
This story is meant to be short and funny, a few snapshots, a handful of moments in the life of a young Jason Todd. This is a one-shot set in my Electrum Verse. Like all of Electrum tales it is meant to able read by itself.
The large fancy ballroom was one of two such rooms in the Wayne Manor. Thirteen year old Jason Todd did not like being in here. He really didn't like wearing a tux. He pulled at the black tie. It felt like the thing was choking him. The eighteen year old Bette Kane was coming his way. She may not have acted like a crazed stalker around him the way she did with Dick, but she was still annoying. Why she had been staying at the mansion for the past few weeks was something he really didn't know. He wished she'd just pack her bags and leave.
It was hard to believe Bette was Bruce's cousin. She was such a ditz. In Jason's opinion she was very much a dumb blond. He could get away with saying something like that. His hair may be dyed black but he was a natural blond. It was girls like Bette that gave people with blond hair the bad rep. How a girl like her could lead the Titans West was one of the universe's great mysteries. The fancy up do and sexy ball gown did not make her more endearing. It just made her more interesting to look at. It did not mean that he wanted to talk to her, or worse, get dragged on to the dance floor!
Jason looked around the room for a way to escape. There had to be some place to hide. She hadn't noticed him yet but she would. He just knew it. He looked left and right all over the room. He noticed a large almost bush like artificial plant in a corner near the grand piano. He moved over there. He crouched down behind the plant. Two elderly woman walked nearby, one in a blue gown, the other in green. He saw them. They didn't see him.
"That man," the lady in blue said, "He never can keep his personal affairs in order." "Affairs is the right word, Mildred," the old woman in green said, "He never stays with the same woman. If all the rumors are correct, there have no less than four dozen woman in coming and going out of this mansion. It's a disgrace. It is."
Jason fought the urge to gasp. These gossiping old biddies were talking about Bruce!
"You are so right Abigail," the woman in blue, Mildred said. She shook her head and multiple double chins rolled.
"You know," the woman in green, Abigail said, "He's rather odd. Taking in that gypsy-born circus trash the way he did."
"And that street brat," Mildred said, "There's no woman respectable woman around. It's just that middle-aged butler and Mr. Wayne here. One could draw some rather unfortunate conclusions."
Jason felt himself growing angry. He balled his hands up into fists. He didn't care that much that they insulted him. People had been doing that all his life. What he couldn't stand was the insults about Bruce and Dick. Bruce Wayne was like a father to Jason. And though he might not see Dick Grayson very often, Dick was the closest Jason thing would ever have to a brother. Nobody insulted Bruce while Jason was around, nobody!
Jason took a deep breath and counted to ten. It was one thing to beat up a crook. It was another thing to hurt an old woman. Even if she deserved it, Bruce wouldn't see it that way. Jason would need to be more…what was that word Alfred kept using? Oh yeah, Subtlety. He would need to be more subtle.
Jason studied the appearances of the two. The one in blue Mildred was very fat. She reminded him of a whale. The other in green, Abigail, was bird-like thin. That shade of green made him think of a snake he saw in a photograph in a encyclopedia. Snakes, hmm… That gave him an idea.
Jason had a large pet snake up in his bedroom. But no, he couldn't release it down here. It might get hurt. He'd named the snake the Bettster in honor of the great trick he'd planning this past week. He had wanted to show it off to Bette to see if she would scream. He had found that he couldn't do it. Jason had actually gotten to liking the Bettster. Unlike its sort of namesake, the Bettster was actually kind of cool. Jason didn't want it harmed.
Jason liked his new pet snake a lot. The only thing he didn't like was feeding it. Snake food… Now there was an idea!
Jason waited until the old women had moved far enough away. He then jumped up from his hiding place. He ran out of the ballroom and up the nearest flight of stairs. He went up to his bedroom. He came back into the ballroom a few minutes later with something wigging inside his jacket pocket. He looked around the room for the two old women. They were standing by a punch bowl. The moment he spotted the ladies he walked over towards them. He carefully walked along the walls avoiding the dancing that was happening in the center of the room. He stopped a few feet away from the refreshments.. He bent down as if to fix something wrong with his shoes. Instead of doing that, he released the things that were in his pockets. Six little white mice ran freely across the ballroom floor. Half of them ran toward the old ladies. The old busybodies shrieked. Jason stood up straight and smirked.
The music stopped as more people screamed. Most of them were women but there were a few men shouting as well. The mice ran to the center of the room. People were not dancing so much as running. Jason laughed until he felt a hand on his right shoulder. He turned his head. He looked up. Standing directly behind him was Alfred Pennyworth. Alfred was so much more than a butler. He was the one man Bruce trusted more than any other. Most often it was Alfred who handed out the punishments for misbehavior.
"Master Jason," Alfred said. He didn't look mad, just disappointed. That seemed worse for some reason.
Bette walked up to Jason. She glared at him. "How dare you!" She raised her small handbag. She hit Jason on the side of the head with it. "You let cute innocent creatures get hurt for your own petty amusement. Shame on you!" She hit with the purse again and again.
"Ow," Jason yelled. He held his hands in self-defense. "It wasn't just for fun! Those old hags insulted Bruce! I had to do something! I couldn't just let it slide!"
"Master Jason, there are better ways to handle such things," Alfred said, "Subtlety is a good word to remember."
"Hey!" Jason shouted, "I was subtle! More so than usual. It's not like I hit the old ladies or nothing!"
Alfred shook his head. "Such actions as you took tonight are not becoming a gentleman."
Jason pulled away from Alfred's grasp. He turned around to face him. A mischievous grin lit up Jason's face. "Who said I was a gentleman?"
The next day around noon, Jason was mopping the mostly empty ballroom. The only other person was Alfred who was sitting in a chair with a book on good housekeeping in one hand. It was starting to rain heavily outside. Jason muttered loudly, "This is not fair. Not fair at all!"
There was a glass door in the ballroom that led out to a balcony. A flight of stairs led from the balcony to the ground. Bette dressed in riding gear tapped on the door. She smiled. Jason glared. Alfred stood up and opened the door. Bette walked in with mud covered boots.
"No!" Jason shouted, "I just got that area clean." "I believe Master Jason, Alfred said, "that you understand my perspective a little better." "You tell him Alfie!" Bette grinned.
Alfred's brows went down ever so slightly. His eyes narrowed. "Please Miss Betty, do not call me by that ridiculous nickname." Alfred closed the balcony door then walked away.
Bette grinned at Jason. She held up a whistle. She opened the balcony door and blew on the whistle. There was no sound. At that moment Jason recognized the whistle.
"Oh no," Jason said, "no, no, no!"
An ancient German Sheppard with a diamond shape on its forehead ran inside from the balcony. It was Ace, a dog who Dick kept jokingly calling the Bat-Hound. Jason didn't believe for a second those crazy stories that Dick told about this dog. This dog who was now trailing mud across the freshly cleaned floor. The floor was already slick and the dog slid as if he was skating.
"Now who's being mean to animals?" Jason asked.
Five minutes later, Bette was cleaning the windows as Jason continued mopping. "Why am I doing this?" Bette asked, "I'm a grown woman now! I don't get punished with chores!"
"You're doing this because you don't want Alfred mad at you," Jason said, "Nobody wants Alfred mad at them, not even Batman."
"I think I'll just fly back to San Francisco tonight," Bette said.
Jason moved to stand by the window Bette was cleaning. A mop was in his left hand. With his right hand he pointed out the window at the increasingly graying sky. "You're not leaving Gotham today."
"Maybe I'll just leave here for a different cousin's place," Bette said irritated, "One of the other Kanes maybe." "That would be fine by me!" Jason muttered. More loudly he said, You know these past few weeks, you've been kind of like the sister I never had."
"Really," Bette said looking surprised and touched.
"Yeah," Jason said, "The annoying, totally uncool big sister that I never wanted!"
"Gee, thanks." Bette's voice was filled with sarcasm. The two returned to their chores. As Jason had all but stated, no one crossed Alfred, not directly anyway.
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