Past Alterations
T to M (not sure)
Since we know that Clara is leaving this is AU, but I can't let the image go. So I'm writing it down, and hoping at least a few of you whouffaldi shippers like it.
Moffat and the BBC own Dr. Who and I'm not going to ever make money off anything I write anyway so no copyright infringement is intended here. I'd just kinda like to see my favorite doctor and my favorite companion get a happily-ever-after type ending.
No spoilers to speak of being that its an AU story. Though there are little mentions of the first 2 episodes of series 9.
-Doctor who-
His lined face was covered in dirt and pinched with pain making him look even older than those lines and the mop of gray curls upon his head. There was a bleeding cut over his left eye and the eye itself was shut against the flow. His breathing was labored and he could feel the beginnings of his regeneration cycle starting. It felt odd this time. He didn't know if he'd actually regenerate or not. Gallifrey had answered Clara's plea for him, but they didn't know if he'd been granted a single regeneration or a whole new set of them. He'd admit he wasn't keen on finding out. He would never admit aloud to not wanting another regeneration with his impossible girl having been killed before him, and waiting for him in the next life.
The trouble with any regeneration at all was that he wasn't finished with the battle he was currently fighting, and deliberately losing, in this life. He was alone for now, out in the backyard of the house his dear Clara had fallen in love with years ago. She'd bought it, and they'd continued their Wednesday adventures, he'd even taken to parking for a day or two at a time to stay with her in the house. The crashing from inside pulled his thoughts back to the present, and he knew that the adversary he'd been plagued with since his childhood would soon be with him again. She was currently ransacking the house, the closest thing to a home he'd ever let himself have on this planet he loved so much, searching for the most precious of it's treasures. The Doctor could barely lift his head, but forced himself to look around. He needed the sonic. Where was it? The sunglasses were destroyed, and he'd made a new screwdriver on the run. It had to be on the run because that is all they'd been doing for the last four years, running. Fleeing the one who'd taken Clara, the one who finally caught up to them this night. It was the full circle again, that she'd caught them here where she'd taken Clara and started them running, but he knew they'd have to come back eventually.
He glanced around at a crash from inside, and when he looked back his sonic was before him, held in a small trembling hand. "Connal, what are you doing lad, you're supposed to be in the TARDIS. She'll find you out here." He purposely did not take the sonic from the boy.
"You needed help." Dark eyes were filled with fear. "I don't want to lose you too. I want to help." His accent was muddled between Scottish and British, though when he was upset or scared the Scots came out the stronger, The Doctor knew.
"It's too late, Connal. You remember what we planned. What you heard me talking about?" The dark curls on his head bobbed with his quick nod. "That is the only way to fix this now. She's done too much damage." He wouldn't tell the boy that he meant to himself and not to their timelines. "You have to do it. You remember what I told you. You have to go back. The TARDIS is ready to take you. I'll be there, but remember, you can't tell me anything. It might change too much. It might erase you from the timelines." He was scared for the boy. He was too young, but he was the only chance they had to set this right. He was the only one who's timeline could be meddled with because he wasn't a fixed point in The Doctor's own timeline not when he'd be going back to.
"But what if I mess it all up?" Connal was just as scared as The Doctor.
"You won't, you'll know, you'll see the changes as you alter the lines. You can do this, Connal. I know you can. You're clever like your da."
"But I don't want to leave you." Tears were starting to stream down from the dark brown eyes.
"I know, but you have to. You can fix this if you are as clever as I know you to be. You have to be protected at all cost, and going back is the only way to make certain you are safe."
"Promise you'll be there, and Mam." The tiny voice cracked. He missed his mother terribly though there was hardly a memory of his own with her in his head.
"I will be there. I'll be quite different, but I'll be there. You've changed me a bit you know. You'll see your Mam too, but Connal you shouldn't-"
"I know, I won't tell them, but at least I'll see you and Mam."
"Good, good lad." There was another crash from the house, Connal flinched at it and The Doctor pulled him close as he sat up. "When you find me just ask me for help, I'll always help the ones who ask for it."
"But what do I say?"
"Just tell me that you need to hide from her. That you always need to be on the move and that the TARDIS is the best place to keep you hidden. I was always traveling then, always moving. You'll be safe, and you'll know what to do when you get there; you'll feel it." Another nod from the frightened boy. Connal was shaking in his grasp. It wasn't surprising really. He was only eight after all. He should have had a lot more time before stepping into his father's shoes. "You can do this, Connal. I know you can." The noise from the house was getting closer. "Here she comes, you wait until she's distracted with me, and then you get to the TARDIS. You go and you don't look back, understand. Run until the TARDIS doors shut behind you." Another nod was all he got from his boy. The child too scared to utter a word now with tears an unending stream down his face in the light from the stars. "I love you, lad." He suppressed the groan those tiny arms threatened to pull from him as they gripped him close for a moment.
"Oh, Doctor?" Came a sing song voice from the house. "Ah, see there, you've found my treasure." The voice was full of madness. It always had been, but this was different. This was a madness that The Doctor had no hope of curing, after what she'd done to Clara, he no longer cared to help this old friend turned enemy.
The Doctor found the strength to push himself up and shield his boy. "He's never been yours, Missy."
"Come here child, come to Missy." She cooed at Connal cowering behind The Doctor. The boy's shaking had turned violent and he gave an emphatic negative shake of his little head though the only sounds from him were minute fear sounds. It pained the Doctor greatly that he couldn't spare the attention to soothe the child, his child. The only one of his children he could do anything to save. He pushed himself painfully to his feet, keeping Connal behind him, and making certain the child had the sonic in his hand.
"You'll have to go through me to get to him." He put as much conviction as he could into his voice.
"Look at you, Doctor, I don't think that's going to be much of a challenge." She sneered at him. "He should be with me, I'll raise him right. You don't have to worry. He's our future."
"No, not ours. Mine. My future, and his mother's." He gave Connal a nudge. "Go, you have to run, lad." He didn't wait to see if the boy ran as he charged the woman before him.
Connal did run though. He knew to trust his father and always do what he said in these situations. He didn't look back until he'd reached the TARDIS either. Once inside he couldn't help but look though and watched through a crack in the door as his father battled the insane Timelady that had been dogging them for so many years now, half of Connal's life. He saw his father falter and the energies that started to pour from him and he saw Missy wait until they had fully coalesced and he saw her grab her adversary's head and twist and the energy disappeared. Connal's shout of agony was cut off by the engines of the TARDIS and then the boy blacked out.
It was cool in the room when Connal awoke. The engines were silent and he looked around the console room. There was a gentle nudge in his young mind and he reached out to pat the console itself. His Scottish brogue was thicker in his sadness. "He's gone now. And Mam's been gone, what can I do? I'm not da. I'm not a Timelord. I don't know what to do." This time the touch to his mind was soothing, and determined, urging him to get moving. The TARDIS believed in him, that he could do his part to alter the timeline and find his Mam and Da again. He had to find the younger version of his Da though and get onto his younger TARDIS if they were going to make it right.
The Doctor knew that he was just a little boy and didn't expect him to be as capable as a fully grown and trained Timelord. All he needed to do was get on board her younger self, and she would have a prior knowledge of events to come. She would know how to prevent it. He'd spoken to the TARDIS and they'd come up with a plan. The boy only needed to get into the other TARDIS. Thanks to Missy and her obsession and insanity the lines were screaming in agony inside the TARDIS' core. Connal would unwittingly be a link to those broken lines that the other TARDIS could feel and alter, gently, to fix them. But if the boy didn't go find the other TARDIS and it's younger Doctor nothing would change. So Idris, as she called herself having become fond of the name even after so short a time being called that, urged the distraught child into motion. She wanted to see her thief and his treasures happy as they should be. Especially her thief, he'd done so much for the sake of others, it was time someone did this for him. It was time he had the joy he didn't believe he deserved.
She urged the boy up and to the dressing room. He needed warmer clothes. It was still winter in this time, and he had quite the walk to reach the other TARDIS. It was nestled behind an outbuilding at the Coal Hill School while the Doctor waited for Clara to finish her day. Eventually, a determination came into the soulful brown eyes that the boy shared with his mother, and he got to his feet. She could tell by the way he walked that he was exhausted, drained both emotionally and physically, but he had a bit farther to go yet before he could rest. He still wasn't safe. Not until he was aboard the other TARDIS with the Doctor. Idris had a bag ready for him by the door when he returned to the console room. He was sniffling when he ran a hand over the console. "I hope I see you again." She knew he meant this her, though if things went to plan, he wouldn't.
They both would just cease to be. This version of them would become dreams within the Doctor's mind at that point. A glimpse of one of the possible futures he was constantly aware of. Idris urged him on with the coat in his grasp and gave him a mental boost to head out the doors. He'd go to a place to await being born and she'd fade out when the lines were fixed.
Connal grabbed the pack on his way through the doors and took a last look at his home of the last few years. Idris was taking a long last look at her thief's greatest treasure. He'd been her boy since they'd lost his mother. She would miss him greatly. She gave him another mental nudge bolstering his fortitude for a bit longer. He needed to break down. He'd watched his father killed, really only hours ago. He just had to get to the past version of said father first. When his trembling stopped she gave him another nudge to get moving. After a deep breath the boy turned and exited her doors.
Connal headed off into the cold wind following the signal from the sonic clipped to his bag like a decoration. He knew he'd need the sonic to get into the earlier TARDIS. The streets were not too busy as it was mid-morning, he garnered some odd looks from the few pedestrians he passed by. Children his age should be in school after all, but no one stopped him. It took a couple of hours walk but he found his way to the school where the TARDIS was parked and approached the doors, unclipping the Sonic as he did. At first she didn't want to let him in but he buzzed the sonic on his own setting, and the doors opened immediately with a feeling of shock about the big blue box. She ushered him in and scanned him the whole time. He could feel it. He kicked his shoes off out of habit and tidied them where they were supposed to be out of the way of the doors and people entering the TARDIS.
He knew it would take a little time for the TARDIS to scan him thoroughly so he climbed the stairs to the chair that his father still had sitting surrounded by books and ideas and bits and bobs on his TARDIS. He slipped off the pack and set it beside the chair. He was getting ready to climb into that chair and just sit for a bit when he felt an urge he knew came from this TARDIS.
Idris' first instinct was to notify The Doctor, but as she scanned the child it registered just how close to shock he was and she nudged him along corridors to the infirmary instead. She didn't know where he'd come from, but it was clear that something terrible had happened to him and that he was her thief's progeny. She could only conclude it was a future child because, other than the clone generated daughter of his tenth face, all her thief's children were lost to the timewar. Yes, she knew that Jenny was out there somewhere in the universe in her own time.
However, this child of The Doctor's was here within and needed attention. As she scanned him she started to pick up on his thoughts and most recent memories. She felt the heart of her crack at the image of her thief crumpled at the feet of Missy, this incarnation of the Master, and let her energies lightly stroke the boy's consciousness soothing him into a healing sleep. She decided then and there that this child would receive the help he so obviously needed. Her thief could be cross and grumpy at her for the rest of his days for it if he so chose. As the memories of his father started to drift through the sleeping child's mind, and she saw how happy her thief was because of this child and his mother Idris decided she didn't mind that her thief would be cross. He'd get over it. It occurred to her that with a little tweak to the timelines her thief could find that happiness all the sooner.
The Doctor returned after a while, he had gone to check in on Clara while she worked. They'd only just returned from the rebuilt and newly destroyed Skaro. He found himself restless with her out of sight and overly protective of her when she was near, at least for the time being. Seeing her inside that Dalek shell had brought memories of his first meeting with one Oswin Oswald to the forefront of his mind. He felt off not having her in his reach with those thoughts swirling through his mind. He refused to look too closely at exactly why he felt this way.
This time her stint in the skin of a Dalek had ended very differently, but it almost hadn't. That was all thanks to Missy, and he found he was significantly annoyed with his childhood friend and long time enemy over this.
He knew exactly what she'd been about, trying to have him destroy the one person in the universe that he, he hesitated to use the term loved, but it was as good as anything to describe his feelings for the first face that this face saw this time round. He just wouldn't say it aloud. She was trying to win him over in her own demented way, and the loss of his most treasured companion might have tipped him over into her madness. At least, that was likely what her twisted mind had come up with for motive. He hoped he didn't see the Timelady again until he'd gotten over the urge to lock her in the shell of a Dalek for the rest of her existence.
He wasn't so lost in his thoughts that he failed to notice two things that were different from when he'd left the TARDIS only an hour ago. The first thing was a small pair of trainers just inside the doors to one side, the second was a school knapsack sitting against his wingback on the upper level of the console room. The objects presence momentarily broke him from the circling thoughts of almost losing Clara at his own hand.
"What's going on Old Girl? Have you let someone in unauthorized?" He felt the link with the TARDIS flare and followed her directions to the infirmary. He entered to a sight that, although expected, still left him utterly shocked. "What have you done now?" The child on the bed stirred at his voice and he watched devastating brown eyes widen in shock and then tighten in pain. "Who are you, Boy, and just how did you trick the TARDIS into letting you inside?" He'd relaxed quite a bit since regenerating into this face, but he was still sharp at the edges.
A very small lip quivered at the sound of his voice, but the child managed to get the words out through his battle to keep from crying in front of this stranger who was his da. "Please, I need you to help me. She's still after me, and this is the only place I'll be safe 'til it's fixed and she goes on."
"Who's after you, boy?" He asked and the child flinched as though struck. "Don't, I don't mean to sound so cross, I'm sorry." There was a fine tremble just visible to the Doctor in the boy now. An image of Missy flashed into his thoughts, and he knew the TARDIS was responsible for it. "All right, you're safe here. I'll do what I can." He was utterly immobilized when the child began sobbing inconsolably. The Doctor was at an absolute loss. He quickly returned to the console room and the phone and dialed Clara straight away.
She answered after a couple of rings. "Doctor, I'm in the middle of class."
"Clara, I'm sorry, but there's a thing, here on the TARDIS. I need you for the thing, Clara. Please?" He knew the entreaty would get her. He rarely said please unless it was important.
She sighed. "Give me twenty minutes, class will be over then. I'll talk to the headmaster and get the rest of the day off."
"Thank you, Clara. I'll move the TARDIS closer to the school. It's a fair walk. Hurry." He rang off then, and set about moving the TARDIS. As soon as that was done he made his way back to the infirmary. He didn't hear the boy sobbing any longer, and then he entered the room. The boy was quiet, not sleeping, but not sobbing either. His tears were silent now as he watched The Doctor's every move.
The Doctor himself didn't know what to do with himself. He hadn't been a Dad in a very long time so children were a thing of mystery to him. He thought he might should try to comfort the boy, but had no clue where to start. He was infinitely relieved when Clara could be heard calling him from the console room. "Doctor?"
He slipped from the infirmary to meet her in the corridor. "He's just in here, Clara. I don't know what he needs, other than protecting."
"He?" She raised an inquisitive brow.
"A boy, Clara. I was out for a bit to check you didn't need anything, and when I got back he was here, in the TARDIS. I may have been a bit cross with him. All I got out of him was he needed protecting. The TARDIS informed me it was from Missy." He explained, and she gave him an indulgent look.
"I'll see what I can do to calm him, but what then, eh? Want him off the TARDIS, or what?"
"No, no, I need to know more, and if Missy is trailing him then this is the best place for him. She won't be able to sense him here. The TARDIS will shield him."
"I'll have a go then." She headed into the infirmary, and bent down to eye level with the boy. "Hello there, I'm Clara. What's your name, then?" She didn't miss the child's eyes widening before shaking his head vigorously, and a new set of tears beginning to stream down his face. He looked as though he were about to break. She felt an urgency come over her. She needed to comfort this child.
Clara hopped up onto the bed beside him and stroked the dirty, dark curls from his forehead. "It's alright come here, love." She lifted him to a sitting position and wasn't too surprised when he latched on and held tight hiding his face against her. She shushed and soothed him. The Doctor watched for a while before heading to the console room and sending them into the time vortex. He needed to find out how the TARDIS could have let the boy in.
Meanwhile, Clara was gently rocking the child as he clung to her silently. "I know he sounds cross, but The Doctor would never harm you." She was saying.
"I know." Came a soft whisper. "He told me that this him would sound cross. I didn't want him to see me crying, is all. Wanted to be strong like him. I mucked it up though."
"That's alright if you needed a good cry." She hesitated to ask but they needed to know. "Where are your mum and dad?" This set off a fresh wave of tears as she thought it might.
"She took them. Mam a long bit ago. I barely remember her, but Da…they were fighting. He was protecting me. He sent me away. I shouldn't have looked, I promised I wouldn't look back, but he was hurtin' already…" He trailed off momentarily, and Clara could hear the thing he hadn't said in his silence. "She grabbed his head and did the thing, and then he just fell. Then the TARDIS brought me here, and I had to find him and ask for help, cause it's the only way to set it right. And I don't know how to. I don't want to muck up time, but how can he help if he doesn't know what happens? Now they both are gone and I don't have anyone any longer."
"There now, you've got The Doctor and me. We'll help you and take care of you. Don't you have other family you can go to."
He shook his head violently. "It would only put Grandad in danger. If Da couldn't stop her then Grandad can't. Da is different than Grandad. Da fought her before. She wants me for her own. She wants to make me like her. I don't want to be like her. I want to be like Da and Mam. I want me Da." He was crying again and Clara wondered just how long it had been.
"When did this all happen? When did she take your Dad?" She asked him.
The TARDIS knew it was time to show her thief what she'd learned of the boy in the infirmary with Clara. She let off some burbling noises to pull his attention to the screen and displayed the scans she'd taken of the child. He paled as he looked them over. The boy had two hearts. "That's impossible." The screen shifted again to show more information, and his gaze sharpened. The child was part Gallifreyan, but he was also part human. "How can that be and who is responsible?"
A flash from above caught his attention then. It came from something on the pack beside his chair. He made his way up to it and paled further at the sight of the small sonic attached to the boy's bag. It wasn't the one he'd thrown to the child Davros, but it was similar enough that he knew he, himself, to have made it. "This was why you let him in, wasn't it?" An affirmative bleep was his answer. "Show me all of it." So she did, he hastened back to the infirmary, just in time to hear Clara ask him how long ago he'd watched his father taken from him. He answered for the child.
"From his perspective, it was just a few hours ago he lost his father." The doctor came closer and lay a tentative hand on the child's head. "It will be okay, Connal." The boy's puffy red eyes, still leaking tears came up to his at his name. "The TARDIS told me." He answered the question in those dark eyes. "You just being here has already changed that future." The TARDIS knew that the future now was without the boy existing in it, moments later that changed and he did exist. His timeline was in a state of flux. She couldn't allow that to stay. Her thief deserved his happiness, and he deserved his family.
"Oh good lord." Clara whispered and hugged the boy closer to her. She didn't understand her need to comfort him. It was more powerful than any other time she'd felt the urge to comfort a child in distress. "How do you know this?" She asked The Doctor.
"TARDIS showed me what she's been able to read from him." He was a little stilted in his movements, but lifted the boy from Clara's arms. The skinny arms and legs latched onto him with a child's desperate strength. "I've got you, lad." He felt in his mind then the pain of the boy's loss. "Hold tight, now. I won't let go a while."
All Connal's memories were of him. The Doctor saw himself comforting a younger, frightened Connal, perhaps after a nightmare. He saw them laughing at a book they were reading together. He saw baby Connal in a seat on the mezzanine of the console room watching as he postulated and equated theories on his blackboard. He saw all of them, Clara too, snuggled in an unfamiliar bed; Connal was a wobbly toddler. He saw the boy's first steps into his own arms coming from Clara's lap in another unfamiliar room. He saw an older, sadder Connal perched on the console himself in front of the boy on his knees and weeping an apology for losing his mother. He watched all the moments that were now in danger of being lost. The Doctor couldn't help but hold this possible future son closer to him. "I promise you, I'll fix it, Connal."
"Thank you." Came the wobbly sound of the boy's voice from his shoulder. "I know you're not really him, but I miss 'im. I'm sorry I'm not strong like you."
"You're doing fine, lad. Don't worry." He took a moment to think a long ways back and started to rock the boy in his arms. "I've got you, lad. I'm not him, exactly, but I've got you."
Clara watched The Doctor with the little boy, confused at what had just happened. She wanted to join them where The Doctor stood swaying, but she didn't know how The Doctor would react, so she stayed seated on the infirmary bed. Watching the one she secretly loved comfort the child she was so powerfully drawn to, she felt herself fall a little more in love with the impossible man. After a while, The Doctor glanced at her. The look on her face had him reaching out and she wrapped her arms around the both of them. She decided not to question why he'd beckoned her in to share the moment, just enjoy it.
Before long the boy was calm and The Doctor stopped rocking. "All right, lets get you something to eat, and I think a good wash is in order, yeah?" Clara stated pulling away from them. "After that I think some hot chocolate and some sleep would do you well."
"What do you say to that Connal? You can sleep in my room for now, I don't use it much." The Doctor offered.
"Okay. I am a bit hungry, I guess." His voice was still muffled in The Doctor's shoulder. He didn't appear to want to let go either. "Would you go with me?"
"Of course, Clara can come too, you think?" Connal looked back at her and nodded.
"Let's get too it then." Clara stated, and led them from the infirmary. "Doctor, why don't you help him get cleaned up and I'll make us all something to eat."
"Right, yes, good idea." He broke off and headed to the showers. Halfway there he remembered the bag in the console room and returned for it. "I assume you have extra clothing here." He settled Connal onto his own feet. The boy shrugged.
"Don't know, Idris packed it."
"Idris, is that your da's TARDIS?" Connal nodded.
"She likes that name." He stated simply.
"She did like having a name." The Doctor answered. "Perhaps I should start calling her Idris then." The console gave a happy chirp and he smiled. "Now, lets get you cleaned up. Don't worry, I'll let you do it yourself, but I'd like to stay close in case you need me." The Doctor explained.
"I know. Da is like that too." Connal fell silent a moment in remembrance. "He always waits outside for me."
"Then I'll do that too. Who am I to argue with meself?" He shared a grin with the boy. Soon they were sitting down to a meal, Connal was getting droopier by the moment once his little tummy had something in it. He fell asleep in the middle of the hot chocolate. Clara eased him into her arms.
"Your room, then?" She prompted The Doctor.
"Right this way, Clara." He led her through the corridors and opened a remarkably plain door for her. The room beyond was anything but plain. The bed was facing what appeared to be a view screen or a large window, though she knew there were no windows on the TARDIS. Right now the view outside was of Coal Hill School, but she knew that when he was in orbit the view would be that of the stars and Earth spinning below. "Just get him to the bed. He'll be right enough on his own then. After all, he's grown up on the TARDIS."
Clara finished pulling the sheets and blankets up around the boy, placed a soft kiss to his forehead, and turned back to The Doctor. "What are you talking about?"
"Come on, and I'll fill you in." He took her hand and led her to the library. He had her sit down in the corner of one of the couches and started pacing in front of her. What the TARDIS has learned so far…" He trailed off not knowing how to continue. "Connal is…" He ran his hands through the unruly silver curls. "I don't know where to start, Clara."
"Doctor, calm down." She stood herself up and stopped his pacing with her hands to his shoulders. "Start with what you said about him growing up on the TARDIS."
"He's from the future, as you've probably figured out." She nodded. "Now I don't know everything. Just what the TARDIS has learned doing surface scans of his thoughts, and what I saw in his mind when I was holding him. It's a bit of a shock too. He has grown up on the TARDIS because that is where his mam and his da were a lot of the time. It's where he and his Da lived after Missy killed his Mam."
"So is he the child of future companions?" She knew he had to be going somewhere with this.
"Not exactly, no." He sighed and took her hands, staring down at them in his own. "The TARDIS wouldn't have let him in unless…"
"Unless?"
"There's a provision in the TARDIS, all models of TARDIS had it. This feature, it recognizes the minor members of a Timelord's family and is set to provide them sanctuary, even when they don't have a key."
"Okay, good to know."
"You don't understand, Clara. It reads the child's DNA if there is a match to the Timelord belonging to the TARDIS then it allows admittance. The TARDIS only let him on board because he's my son. Or will be, possibly."
"Your son?" She looked shocked and she looked hurt. He didn't know which was worse. That she thought he couldn't want a child of his own or that the thought of him having a child hurt her. "What do you mean possibly?"
"You held him, Clara, you didn't notice the double heartbeat? And possibly because with him here in a time before his existence is a fixed point in my timeline, events could be changed. I think that the only reason he hasn't already vanished is that the timeline is still muddled, still unstable. He could still be erased from my future. The events that sent him here will no longer happen no matter if he exists or not. Forewarned is forearmed, but the question of him has not been settled."
"What happens when it does get settled?" Clara was watching him.
"The version of him sleeping in my room will disappear. Not sure what happens exactly, but I've seen it happen. He will cease to be, even if I solidify his existence in my timeline. He will be born when it is time for him to be born, but this child will just vanish."
"So why haven't you made your decision then?"
"I don't know what I want, I don't know what his mother wants. I know that future me and future her wanted the baby, but I don't know the circumstances under which he came to be. Was he an accident? I know I sent him back to myself, that tells me I wanted him. I know I love that child in the future. I don't have the right to make a decision regarding his fate without his mother's input."
Everything he was saying was causing little cracks in her heart. Clara did her best to band-aid them so he wouldn't see how much the thought of him with someone else; him loving someone, not her, enough to father her children it was breaking her heart. "Then we should go and find her. Maybe you could get a head start on, whatever." She fairly vomited the words, but if he could find happiness. She wanted that for him. She'd rather find it with him, but if it wasn't meant to be then she couldn't argue with it.
"Oh, Clara, my impossible girl. I don't need to go looking for her." He stated softly.
"What do you mean?" He was pulling her close, slipping his arms around her.
"I don't need to look for her because I'm looking right at her." He kissed her forehead gently as she had done for their son. "I saw the scans he's half of an Oswald."
She was absolutely dumbfounded, staring up at him. "He is my…and your…but that would mean-"
"That I love you, above all others, and that someday we have a child together." He smiled softly down at her astounded face. "Well, the future is not wrong about the first part, but I think the second is up to you."
"But I thought we were…you said not my boyfriend." She sounded terrified.
"I did say that. I never said I didn't feel like I was more than your boyfriend. You just understood it that way." He kissed the tip of her nose softly.
"Why didn't you say…anything? You let me go off with Danny when we could have been together."
"I honestly didn't know if that is what you wanted. I didn't know if this face is one you wanted. You insist on a normal human life along with a life aboard the TARDIS. I thought I'd give you the chance at it with a normal human. I'll never be a nine to five job type of man. I'll never change from what I am, Clara. The face maybe, but not the essential things that make me who I am."
"I wouldn't want you to. I love you like this, I always have. And for the record, I think I love this face the best of all your faces so far." She took his face in her hands then, and planted the kiss she'd wanted to for so long now on his lips. His hearts were racing against her when they parted. Clara rested her head to his chest. His face buried in her hair and she heard him whisper, "my Clara, my impossible girl." She grinned and kissed the shirt between his two hearts.
"I want to see him again, Doctor."
"My darling Clara, I'm certain we will." He nuzzled her scalp.
"No, I mean now. I want to go and watch him sleep. My son." She glanced up into his twinkling eyes. "Our son."
"Oh Clara, he's already gone." He bent to rest his forehead to hers. "We'll see him again. We won't forget him, but all physical evidence of him is disappeared."
"But why didn't he know me, Doctor?"
"His mother was taken from them a long time before now. He's been with his father on their own since he was just about four years old. Most of the memories he has of her are memories I have of you, and knowing me like I do, I'd have shared my memories of my love with her son. I would want him to know his mother."
"But I wanted to hold him in my arms, now that I know." She sounded near to tears.
"You will hold him again, Clara, not right away." He pushed her back a bit to get his arms between them. "You'll have to hold him here," he rested a hand over her heart, "just for a bit, perhaps. Then for a little while you'll have to hold him here." His hand rested on her belly then. "Then he'll be in your arms again. He'll have us both this time. The alterations are finished, the timeline he lived has changed." He pulled her in then with his hands cupping her face. "Will holding his father in the meantime suffice?" He asked her intently.
"Absolutely, you clever boy." She pulled him down for another, longer kiss. She savored the feel of his lips on hers and the taste of him on her tongue, just as he was doing with her. A finger traced the shell of his ear and he shuddered against her with a groan. She grinned into the kiss. "I love you, Doctor."
"I've loved you for so long, Clara. Nine hundred years on Trenzalore, then I thought I'd lost you, but it seems I'd only misplaced you for a bit." He again placed a kiss to the tip of her nose. "I'm so glad I found you again."
"Me too." She pulled him back to her lips. "I do have one more question about him and then I'll drop it."
The Doctor moaned in exasperation but gave her the go ahead. "Let's hear it then?"
"Oi, behave," She swatted him playfully. "It's about his name. He's half you, why did he have a human name?"
"Ah, that. I'm guessing here, but he was supposed to be raised on Earth, so we likely gave him both a Gallifreyan name to be hidden and a more human name for casual use. We can change it if you want. We can choose something other than Connal."
"No, Connal is a fine name, sounds very Scottish." She teased him with a nip to his chin.
"By Rassilon, Clara, don't do that unless you mean it." She felt his meaning against her lower abdomen. She raised a brow at him coyly. "For heaven's sake, woman, we've already met the child we create together. Did you think it would work differently?"
"You keep reminding me you're an alien. How am I supposed to know you don't have, I don't know tentacles or something hidden under all those layers."
"Poppycock, that is. You have seen me naked, well the last me, did anything look different? I know you glanced about."
"I did not!"
"Oh, you did. Do you think I didn't get a good long look at you? Do you know how hard I had to concentrate on the most horrid things to keep from embarrassing us both?" He shuddered at the memory.
"You don't have to worry about that any longer." She tugged at his belt.
"I take it you'd like to start working on seeing Connal again now?" He nipped the bend where neck and shoulder meet in retaliation for her earlier action.
"Well, maybe we can hold off meeting our son again for a bit, but yeah. If that's what you want too."
"Clara Oswald, I don't think I've ever wanted anything more in my very long life." He took her hand and pulled her from the room at a jog.
A FEW YEARS DOWN THE ROAD
Clara returned to the TARDIS library after putting Connal down for his rest. The Doctor was where she'd left him on the couch they loved to share. There was a book in his hands, and she loved watching him in the quiet moments like this. Over the last few years since Connal's first, brief appearance in their lives they'd fallen into a sort of routine after an adventure. They'd find themselves here nestled together on this very couch. They would just stay here together languishing in each other's company. She leaned against the doorway just watching him read.
He turned a page and without looking up asked, "Connal finally down then?"
"You make it sound as though it's a horrible trouble putting him to sleep." She grinned, and crossed to curl into his side. "He's a good baby."
"Of course he is. He's my son." His hand came up to run his fingers through her hair. "I'm just jealous he gets so much time alone with My Impossible Girl."
"I'm the only one with his food at the moment, if you want him to grow up strong you should get over it." She plucked his fingers from her hair and entwined her own with them. "Besides I've waited a long time to hold him again."
"We both have, Clara." He placed a kiss to her cheek. "We've had a lot of fun waiting though haven't we."
"Absolutely, we'll have more with 'im though." She cuddled closer. "Think of all the things we can show him."
"Infinite worlds, danger and pain, love and happiness. All the things he will need to know when he's grown." He set aside his book and slid his other arm around her as they shifted to lie wrapped around one another. Clara was exhausted. They both were, he'd forgotten how tiring a young infant was. He decided to, just this once, have a cat nap with Clara instead of watching her sleep.
Soon he was wakened by the cries of his tiny son and gently extricated himself from Clara, who was, miraculously, still sleeping. Then with a swell of pride, he realized the cries were in his mind. The boy was a fast learner, and on the road to being a very powerful Timelord.
Clara woke a while later, her Doctor was missing and she went in search of him. He wasn't in the console room, or the kitchen. She headed toward the bedroom they now shared, but was distracted by a small infant sound from her son's nursery. She walked in and found her Doctor. He was sitting in a rocker with Connal held to his chest. The baby was looking around, with his wobbly head raised, and gurgling contently to himself, while his father was fast asleep. A secret happy smile bloomed on her face, and she watched them for a bit before she moved to retrieve the baby from his arms.
The Doctor started awake as she lifted Connal from him. "Shh, I've got him. You rest." She placed a kiss on the spot between his eyebrows.
"No, I'm awake now. I'll just go and check messages. I'm expecting a ring from Missy." His fingers caressed her face before he found his feet.
"Oh, how is she? Still searching for Gallifrey?" She was checking for any motherly duties she needed to perform for Connal.
"Yes, she's found another lead." He stated with a kiss for her in passing. "All she ever needed was a little direction."
"Who'd have thought that the best way to prevent her killing the both of us and stealing our son was to make friends with her?" She shook her head.
"Well, I did. Why do you think I let her live all those times we clashed?" He smiled back from the doorway. "There's always hope for a person to change their mind."
"Well, don't you go changing your mind about all this." She indicated her and their son with a nod.
"Not a chance, this could be the greatest adventure we ever have together." He returned to her and took Connal in one arm, then grasped her hand with the other and pulled her along with him out of the room. "I've changed my mind, messages can wait. We all need a proper lie down and some sleep."
"Then let's go to bed, yeah?" She was letting him lead her to their room and pull her down onto the bed with him and Connal. They ended up facing one another, the baby snuggly between them and kissing over the top of him. "Goodnight, Impossible Man."
"Sleep well, My Clara." The pair of them settled then and his arm rested across their son on her hip while their legs entwined. "Dream of the stars, my lad. You'll get to choose which one we see some day."