RACE TO FUCK EMERALD
- By Grimslade
CHAPTER 1 - A FIDDLY STICK
"WELCOME TO THE LEAGUE OF DRAVEN" Draven shouted as the war began. Leaving his nexus, Draven made it down bottom lane, which to him now felt like a routine. It didn't feel like a negative routine however. Draven didn't feel the sickness that one may feel while walking to a school that they were an outcast in, or the sickness one may also feel while going to their grandparents house on Christmas day because they know they'll have to see their presents but wait hours until they receive them because if they ask, they know they'll get yelled out by their parents for apparently being impatient. No, no, to Draven this routine of going to bottom lane felt like the rush a prison rapist would feel when he witnesses a bar of soap drop, or that ecstasy an ethnic may feel when they receive their next welfare check. When Draven arrived at the out most bottom tower, his joy increased ever so much more when he realised Ezreal was his opposition. Draven taunted the enemy Ezreal with "YOU AGAIN!? Don't you realise that I feed on your kind?", Ezreal attempted to respond with "Shut up you c-" but was quickly interrupted with Draven's spinning Axe. Ezreal had already attempted to push so far he had no chance of getting away from Draven's masculine rage, "Teaches you for not being me..." Draven mocked as he murdered the Ezreal. At this moment, Draven's so called support, Blitzcrank finally appeared. "... Where were you all this time? You've been missing the fun!" Draven said to his support, Blitzcrank didn't respond however, instead he just stared into Draven with his souless robotic eyes. Blitzcrank's lack of response seemed to have triggered some pent up rage in Draven, as Draven stated "You know what Blitz? You're the most annoying enemy sup I've to deal with, now you're going to be the most annoying allied sup as well?...", Blitzcrank still had no response for Draven and continued to only stare into him. "Fine" Draven eventually accepting his supports attitude, "I think I see that blonde haired sissy returning anyway". Ezreal seemed to be far more cautious this time around, barely pushing his lane at all. Though inevitably, like all champions, Ezreal got cocky, forgetting Draven's overpowering might. After pushing just ever so slightly to far, Ezreal was met with Draven's spinning axe once again, only this time he was close enough to his tower to make an escape on roughly ten percent of his health. However, Blitzcrank was able to make one of his legendary pulls right at that second, he grabbed Ezreal and pulled him into his embrace. Before Draven even had a chance, his support finished the job with a blow from his cold robotic arm, leaving Ezreal a mutilated corpse. Blitzcrank let out a very machine like "HA.. HA.. HA", this was about as hysterical as he could get. Draven was livid at this point, he checked Blitzcrank's stats and saw that he was building for Attack Damage. "FUCK YOU, YOU FUCKING FUCK" Draven screamed into his betraying support, but was only met with a continious "HA.. HA.. HA". At this point, while checking the scoreboard for builds, Draven noticed something that sent chills down his manly spine. As Draven staired into the smite spell chosen by the enemy he yelled furiously "WHY DIDN'T I NOTICE THAT FIDDLE WAS JUNGLING BEFORE!?", having pushed so far, it was too late for Draven and his not so trust worthy support. "GET OUT of here, now Blitz" Draven pleaded but Blitzcrank just returned to staring him down, saying nothing in
response. At that moment, a wild Fiddlesticks jumped out of the near by bush "YREEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" and within seconds drained Blitzcrank, leaving him as a dead husk of metal, a shadow of his former self. Now stronger than ever, Fliddlesticks taunted Draven with a "Jesus Christ how horrifying...", Draven was shocked, unable to speak. Fiddlesticks moved in for the drain, letting out another "YREEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA", but at that moment, Draven had just leveled up due to near by minion battles, he didn't think he would need it but now was a better time than ever to upgrade his escape. Draven acted so incredibly fast that not only did his escaping axes cancel Fiddlestick's drain, but they also caused a rip in space and time itself. Draven absolutely stunned at what occurred, was left only to watch Fiddlesticks violently try and escape the void. Fiddlestick's efforts were useless however, and he was eventually absorbed into the void.