Disclaimer: I do not own Glee, but I wish I did because that would mean a lot more Quinn. I also don't own Asleep by The Smiths, but I wish I did, because I would have Quinn sing it.

This is my first fanfiction, so go crazy!

A tear balanced itself on her eyelash for a second before losing purchase and plummeting down, splattering across the glossy photograph. It was the one she'd told her mother not to take, the one they'd had that big fight about.

Quinn couldn't begin to tell you why she was torturing herself, luminous eyes staring down at the photograph of her daughter. Vulnerability was something that simply couldn't happen, not around people and not even in the safety of her own home. But there it was. And during these rare times that she actually let the walls come down, Quinn could never shake the feeling that she had lost something. Her resolve, obviously, but she felt that she owed it to herself... to her mistakes... to just suck everything up. As her pastor would say, many other people had it worse...

But, Beth looked adorable in her little beanie, eyes closed. Quinn had only gotten one good look at her, honestly, and that was when she had been holding her. This photograph brought back the memory vividly. When she was younger, she would have - possibly insensitively - told you that all babies looked the same. Because that's what she saw. Beth was different. Quinn could see herself in her daughter... The shape of her face already hinted at Fabray-ic, and around her eyes, she could see a little bit of Puck. That would have made her smile if she wasn't crying.

She wasn't sure what had prompted her to go find the picture. Perhaps it was nostalgia... Maybe she just needed a reality check. Because the pregnancy did happen, although that was last year's news and no one really even remembered. Quinn did, though.

With a sigh, she wiped her eyes. At first, she did so gently but as frustration swept over her, she rubbed them harder. This wasn't even her daughter, it was Rachel's mom's. That's what she'd told herself when she gave her away. No use in crying over what's not yours. What never will be.

Abruptly, Quinn stood up from her mother's bed, sliding the picture back into her mother's book and placing it on the bedside table. She only knew it was there because she'd seen her mother using it as a bookmark at dinner... They rarely talked at dinner these days. Or, at all, for that matter. Which hurt more than Quinn could say.

Her eyes were still a little puffy, so she blinked them hard and didn't touch them as she exited her mother's room, closing the door behind her as quietly as possible. In the instant that she was out of her mother's room, her face changed. Vulnerability gone in a second replaced by a veil of a sort of indifferent superiority. She was Quinn Fabray, and she had to look the part.

Flattening out her skirt, Quinn proceeded to descend the stairs. In a flurry, she could see prom night... The way her blue dress had flowed down the steps was something she knew she'd never forget. Along with the prom memory came a rush of sudden sadness. Sadness because Beth was in New York. Sadness because Jean Sylvester died just a few days ago, and she was simply what Quinn would describe as the epitome of good in the world, though she'd never tell anyone else. Sadness because of Finn... At that, Quinn bit her lip very hard. She was poised... She had her guard up. Nothing was going to break that.

Quinn made her way to the kitchen and grabbed herself a small cup of yogurt with granola to pour in for breakfast. Her morning meal was always the same. Either that, or she'd skip out on it altogether. She hadn't thought of carbs and eating the same way for years... Tossing a messenger bag over her shoulder, she hurried out the front door to her car for school.

There wasn't all that much to Quinn Fabray's day. First through third period was a breeze, and at lunch she'd usually eat with... Not today. Today she'd taken her food outside because you could eat alone outside and no one would think anything of it. Sitting at a table by yourself was more ostentatious. Especially since most of the school didn't know she no longer had a boyfriend.

The rest of the day sped by until, finally, it was time for Glee Club. Show choir used to be stupid to her. The only reason she even joined the club was to be Coach Sylvester's little spy. But now... Quinn had learned so much, and the people there had helped her through a lot, not that she was quite ready to by all huggy and warm with them. Certainly not thankful. No, not yet. But, she did happen to respect them, and also, she found out she really could sing. And today she was going to.

"Hey, guys. So, I've been chewing over some ideas for Nationals, but then I realized that we haven't done a weekly lesson in, well, weeks. So, I thought that I want you guys to look deep within yourself. Then I want you to figure out what you desire the most-" Quinn looked up when she heard Mr. Schue's voice. She was sitting next to Mike and Tina, trying as hard as she could to ignore their lovey dovey giggles and playfulness. On her other side sat Lauren which wasn't actually too odd. Ever since the dreaded lapse between them during prom campaign, Quinn had grown to respect Lauren. And she could tell that she felt the same. They didn't talk much, but there seemed to be a solid understanding between them. For the most part. But, even Lauren looked up when Quinn cut Mr. Schuester off.

"Mr. Schue - sorry - but before we get down to all of the teaching, self worth, and philosophical stuff, I was wondering if I could have the stage for a minute. I've got a song, and I'm pretty sure it has something to do with your lesson." She said the words in a confident voice. That was one of the things Quinn liked about herself... No matter how bummed out she was, she had the distinct ability to always be able to deliver her words like a badass.

If she expected Mr. Schue to be irritated by the interruption, he wasn't. If anything, he simply looked surprised. Probably because Quinn wasn't Rachel. She didn't offer to do a solo on the spot or work up a song just because she felt like it. In fact, Quinn held firm to the belief that her emotions shouldn't be on display for just anyone to see... Regardless, it was time for things to change. "Well, sure, Quinn." His face broke into a smile. "Go for it."

All the eyes in the room were on her, and she could feel Finn's bearing into the spot between her shoulder blades. She could just feel it. But, this song wasn't for him. As she stood, so did Puck, and guitar in hand, he moved to go stand with her in front of the club. Tina and Mike were still giggling. Santana had her legs crossed and was looking away, cynical as ever in the back. Kurt looked more curious than anything. Artie and Brittany wooped a little. Sam simply stared at her. Mercedes shrugged, and Lauren raised her brow as her man moved after Quinn.

There wasn't anything between her and Puckerman right now; she'd simply asked him if he would help her out for this song, and he'd said yes, which was rather generous of him since they hadn't been talking. She wasn't sure what was going on between them, but he'd only made a few of his Puck-esque comments during their rehearsal last night, so she wondered if they were on good terms now.

"This is a song that's been on my mind for a long time." she said simply, and then Puckerman started playing. Traditionally, Asleep by The Smiths was played on the piano, but Puck had done a brilliant job figuring it all out on guitar, and his notes drifted across the room, setting the mood fantastically.

Sing me to sleep
Sing me to sleep
I'm tired and I
I want to go to bed

She turned her head and cast a glance around the room... Her voice was husky, but the song didn't require much range, and she thought it sounded exactly the way she felt. Her emotions were dark with no range...

Sing me to sleep
Sing me to sleep
And then leave me alone
Don't try to wake me in the morning
'Cause I will be gone
Don't feel bad for me
I want you to know
Deep in the cell of my heart
I will feel so glad to go

Her eyes finally dared to go where she hadn't let them before. She stared right at Finn, light eyes blazing. This was goodbye. It was closure, perhaps not the type that would have been favorable to her, but it was something. They locked gazes, and she saw his mouth open in that Finn way of his. He glanced down at Rachel, and Quinn found herself turning her gaze on her, too.

Sing me to sleep
Sing me to sleep
I don't want to wake up
On my own anymore

Quinn wasn't sure why she was looking at Rachel. It made no sense because the song was for herself, not Finn, though she knew the lyrics applied to him. What also didn't make sense was the small tear trailing down Rachel's cheek.

Sing to me
Sing to me
I don't want to wake up
On my own anymore

Quinn couldn't stop holding Rachel's gaze. She wanted to be furious, and she wanted to say something sarcastic and mean, but she was performing and it was just so shocking. Was she making Rachel cry?

Don't feel bad for me
I want you to know
Deep in the cell of my heart
I really want to go

Quinn noticed with some gratification that Finn was looking between the two girls, confused. At least now, she thought, he might not think she was singing the song to him.

There is another world
There is a better world
Well, there must be
Well, there must be
Well, there must be
Well, there must be
Well...

She tore her eyes away from Rachel with some difficulty and cast a blank look across the Glee Club. Some people looked moved, yeah, but no one was crying like Rachel... As she sang, Quinn thought. She wanted someone to sing her to sleep like the lyrics said. She didn't know who. She just wanted someone. Someone that could be there. Someone who didn't break things off after funerals. That was her desire for this week's lesson. Someone to sing her to sleep.

Bye bye
Bye bye
Bye...

And applause.