by Wil & Nina
Harmony Between Spike & Cordy?
"I'm on Xander's team," Anya announced possessively, holding onto his arm.
Cordelia shook her head and almost laughed, "I invented that line."
Willow almost rolled her eyes, "It's not a contest, Anya."
"So let's get this witch hunt started!" Anya voiced, then looked to Willow and Tara. "Oops. I meant no disrespect to any real witches."
Tara nodded in understanding, "We know, figure of speech."
Xander shook his head and glanced at Spike, "Fine. Spike, you take Cordy, Willow, you and Tara head out too, and Anya will go with me. If we find Harmony we stake her on the spot. Report back here in two hours."
"So the ponce takes command? How manly. Two hours, it is." Spike and Cordelia headed one way while Anya and Xander headed the other.
***
Buffy lay chained to Giles' bed staring up at the stucco ceiling when Riley, Wesley, Angel, and Giles came herding up the stairs.
"I don't like this. I can see why Spike complained about being tied up so often. It's not really on my list of 'Fun things to do on a Saturday night'."
"It's so you won't hurt anyone when the water takes effect," Riley explained.
Buffy nodded in understanding. If Riley had been that hard to restrain, she wondered what she would be like. "I know, I just felt the need to whine. It cured you so... I'm good. Let's get this over with, ok?" Buffy said hopefully.
Wesley handed Giles the vile of holy water and he tilted Buffy's head back to guide the water down-she screamed almost immediately, thrashing in her bonds. The chains creaked with the stress of her muscles pulling against them, almost to the point of snapping.
Angel leapt onto the bed and held her down as the headboard came loose from the bed "It's killing her!"
***
The Bronze was pulsing with music as Cordelia and Spike entered. The vampire headed almost immediately for the bar and ordered up two beers, handing one to Cordelia, as he scanned the crowd of teenagers and young people.
"Wow, this place hasn't changed all that much since I left," Cordelia mentioned.
"Same old pit as it's always been, yeah," Spike agreed tipping back his beer. His sights settled on long blonde locks and that unforgettably whining spoiled voice. He poked at Cordelia with his elbow and gestured toward the stage with his chin.
"Oh, God, Harmony?" Cordelia exclaimed moving toward her, Spike not far behind. "You look amazing!"
"Cordy? Wow, you look--older. Blondie Bear!?"
"Harm," Spike said in what could only be described as a bored monotone.
Cordelia raised an elegantly arched brow at the pet name he'd been called. Yep, same old Harmony.
"I don't care how much you beg me, I'm not coming back. You were mean, and rotten, and-and--"
"Don't flatter yourself, Harm, I don't want you back. I'd rather the Slayer do me in, then beg for you," blondie bear responded, Cordelia tried to stifle the giggle rising in her chest as she thought of the name.
"Sorry, Harmony, I guess you're still second even as the un-dead. It's like you still haven't learned anything. Billy Idol, here, went out with the rest of the British punk invasion." Cordelia taunted, jabbing her for the "older" comment earlier.
Harmony's eyes widened suddenly, her voice shrill, "I am so going to bite you Cordy!"
Cordelia jumped for a moment. It may be Harmony she was talking to, but she was still a vampire. A stupid vampire, but with teeth-y bite-y fangs just the same. "Wait, what, why?"
Spike merely stood with his arms folded across his chest. It seemed as if he were just as interested to hear this as Cordelia was.
"You know what you did. It's what you always do, steal my boyfriends!"
Both Cordelia's and Spike's eyes widened. They turned to look at each other then smiled in silent agreement. Spike jerked into motion, slipping an arm about Cordelia's waist and casting a wolfish grin at Harmony. He spat out the first words that came into his head.
"It's your fault, hurting me the way you did. Cordelia loves me the way I need to be loved, isn't that right my lil'... spoonful of..." He struggled for some stupid adoration, "... marshmallow fluff?"
The British vampire topped it off with a kiss, and apparently bit too passionate for Cordelia's tastes.
Spike felt Cordelia cringe, and he winced, even as the words came out of his mouth and his lips touched hers; but it didn't matter. This was Harm, dumb as a pet rock, Kendall they were fooling. It didn't take an Oscar award winning actor to trick her.
Cordelia flashed one of her famous win 'em over smiles and slid her arms around Spike's shoulders. She knew the note was dripping less with false love and more disgust, "That's right my little, cockney cute-y. Sorry, Harmony, I guess he fell for the more sophisticated woman. You always were a bit immature."
The hook was bated with thousand dollar credit limits; and like a money-hungry Parana, she bit. Hard. Harmony let out a snarl, which to the ears of a 126-year-old vampire and a member of a slayer-squad sounded kind of like an earnest mew from a kitten.
Stake, stake, where's my stake? Cordelia wondered, looking around for anything wood. Buffy always improvised. It was an acting technique, she could- Cordelia reached into her purse and pulled out a cuticle pusher... with a wooden handle.
Spike lunged, and in one fluid motion he grabbed Harmony by the hair and held her still while Cordelia struck with her cuticle pusher from Hell.
"Spikey-pooh, please...no!" the ex-cordette squealed, and before Cordy could say Nieman Marcus, both she and Spike were covered in Harmony dust.
Cordelia spun on Spike suddenly and slapped him in the face, "Three words: Ewww, blood breath! Get a breath mint or five, and don't think I didn't notice you groping."
Then she turned and walked briskly from the Bronze.