Chapter one.
Fear God alone … are the words I wake up to.
With heavy breathing and the sound of my heart beating so hard it would seem I have been running for miles instead of just waking up. "So much for fearing God alone" I whisper to myself as I get out of bed.
I head to the bathroom, get in to the shower and stand under the steaming water as if that alone could wash away the remaining echoes of my dream. I stand there taking deep breaths, trying and failing to move past it. "Where are you, you little brat?" He shouts, as I hide under my bed hoping he won't find me "I'll find you and when I do you will be sorry, this is for your own good." I scuttle further under the bed covering my ears thinking maybe if I don't hear him, all the bad will go away. I stay like that, silent for what feels like for ever when I finally think he's given up. I crawl from under my bed, slowly when strong rough hands grab my wrists. My eyes fly open and I'm back in the shower, water running cold "it was just a dream, it's just a dream" I breath and slam my fist into the wall.
When I'm finally out of the shower and dressed, I take one last hard look at myself in the mirror rearranging my features into a mask trying to hide the night I have had, when a loud bang bang bang comes from my door. "Dude, you ever going to join the land of the living?" It's Zeke." You know some of us are starv…" I open the door mid-sentence, "starving? Yeah me to." I say turning to close my door "Good morning to you to sunshine." I say, as we walk to the dining hall. Zeke pulls a face at me when he realises the dark rings under my eyes, "Man, you look like crap," he says. "What you do, through a party for one in your room last night?" he asks. I look straight ahead of me as I say, "Yeah, something like that." Zeke just shrugs his shoulders, knowing how I am when I'm in this mood.
That's one of the reasons he and I have grown so close after the past couple of years, we know when to back off on one another and to talk on our own time.
We enter the dining hall, which is a big room with more light then the rest of the compound and tables strewn all over for people to sit at and enjoy there food. All the Dauntless are bussing, some throwing mock punches at one another, some running around and others laughing as they eat there breakfast. As we scan the hall for a place to sit, we see Lauren, Shauna and a couple of others sitting at a table waving us over.
"Hey" I say as I take my seat next to Shauna and Zeke next to Lauren.
"Hey, nice to see you guys could join us, we though you pansies would never show up." Lauren says.
"Don't blame me, blame Four, he's the one that needed to catch up on his beauty sleep." Says Zeke, taking a piece of toast and spreading it with butter.
Lauren looks at me with an arched eyebrow, "so that's why you look so chirpy today, and here I was thinking it was all because you were looking forward to seeing me." She says smiling at me and bumping Zeke with her elbow.
I take a slice of toast for myself and spread some butter on like Zeke, ignoring the question I ask, " so you ready for tomorrow?" as I take a bight of my toast, hoping to take the attention away from discussing me. It works, my question starts a whole new topic in our conversation.
Tomorrow is the Choosing Ceremony. A day were all five factions dependants who are now sixteen get to choose for themselves who they want to be and the reason they believe the world came to destruction so many years ago.
Those who blame aggression will form with Amity.
Those who blame ignorance will form with Erudite.
Those who blame duplicity will form with Candor.
Those who blame selfishness will join with Abnegation and for those who blame cowardice will join with Dauntless.
Two years ago all that day meant to me was a way to escape, to get away from the one person I hated and feared still to this day. The one person that plagues my dreams as soon as I close my eyes at night. The person who called himself my farther, Marcus.
I made my choice that day to abandon my faction, Abnegation, the place I belong and loved to join the Dauntless. A place where I could learn how to defend myself, stand up for myself and never be the one that hides under his bed out of fear again. That day was the best and worst day of my life.
A day where I had to give up everything I knew and believed in in order to save my sanity, just to find out I had stepped into a faction who lived and breathed to breaking people down and controlling them.
I pull my thoughts back to the conversation around the table just in time to hear Shauna asking me what my thoughts are on the big day. "Will have to see. I can't say I'm looking forward to Eric breathing down my neck the whole time." I say finishing the last bit of my breakfast. "Just when I thought I had gotten him off my back they pull me in as an instructor and all thanks to Zeke backing out." I say looking at Zeke.
"Hey" he says, "I did my time last year, this time you can handle the pressure and guilt of knowing you are the one making the decision of who gets cut and become factionless and those who get to stay"he says, and I can't argue with him on that. I'm not looking forward to that part either.
"Oh stop complaining, it's going to be fun, seeing the new initiates faces when they find out they are going to have to jump of a ten story building into a hole not knowing what lies beneath" she says with a big grin on her face. At that I can't help but smile as everyone around the table try and guess what their faces are going to look like or how they will scream, "I guess this job will have its perks."
After breakfast I head to the control room to start my shift. I chose to work here for a few reasons, of which one of them was that I did not want the responsibility of having to be a Dauntless leader on my shoulders. My values were just not the same as the leaders or the lack thereof in this compound. The second reason is that I get to keep my eyes and ears on the ground, and for good reason to. For the last couple of weeks I have been keeping a close eye on Jeanine and the Erudite compound. First of all Jeanine has been visiting our faction far more than necessary and second I managed to hack there system and came across some intrusting and somewhat confusing plans regarding the Dauntless and the Abnegation factions. Something's brewing, I know it, I just can't figure it out.
Time tends to drag on in the control room, but I don't mind it. I like to be alone sometimes. Its 19:25 and almost time for me to end my shift and get ready for tomorrow when Max walks in. He's considered "old" in Dauntless, but manages to keep his position as a Dauntless leader none the less. He has deep creases by his temples, grey hair and dark skin. "Good evening Four" he says. "Nice to see you, it's been while… if I didn't know any better I would think you were starting to avoid me?" he says it like a question with a sly smile on his face. "Max." is all I say as a way of greeting. I know what he wants.
"So, I've been trying to get you to talk to me, I have a rather good offer to make to you." He starts saying as he leans against the monitor's wall, but I cut in before he can go on any further.
"Max, I know what it is you want to offer, and I'm not interested." Looking at him hard "I have no interest in becoming a leader for the Dauntless, I didn't two years ago and I sure as hell am not interested now." I say still looking at him. "I'm quite happy here." Besides, I think to myself, I need to find out what it is that Jeanine Mathews plans are for the Dauntless and the Abnegation.
"I don't get it Four, really, I mean your strong, a fast thinker and people respect you around here, they look up to you." He says. "I tell you what, think it over, I mean really think about it and come back to me... we need you." That caught me off guard, why would the leaders need me? He leaves the room giving me a look, as if trying to tell me something. But what? He knows as well as I that my decision has been made.
As I pass through the pit after my shift and making a turn at Lauren to find out what time the initiates will be here tomorrow, I see Eric at the chasm talking to Max. I ignore them as I pass but see Eric giving me incredulous look and brush it of as I head straight for my room. I have never cared what he thinks of me, so why should I start now?
... Please note that these are not my characters nor is it my story. Those belong to Veronica Roth.