Hey guys! I've been watching some crack videos and I got inspired to write this story. Hope you like it, there are many more chapters to come!


- Did you want to see me? - Octavia entered the tent where Lexa was. The commander was sitting on a large narrow table that had only two seats on the edges, her elbows resting upon the surface.

- I need your... Expertise.

Octavia smirked. Lexa pointed the empty seat with her hand, but she walked to Lexa's throne instead, and sat on it slowly. The girl put her two index fingers together and pressed them against her lips.

- I am listening.

- Clarke say some words that make me confuse. I only know it's sexual because of the way she looks at me. She flirts with me in this weird language of yours and expect me to understand it. What's a sugar daddy anyways?

- So gay.

- Shut up. I really need your help. Please.

It was obvious how nervous and serious Lexa was. Octavia couldn't help but think it's cute that the great Lexa, Commander of the 12 clans was this desperate for her lover's satisfaction.

- Last night Clarke said "go down on me" and it made me so mad - Lexa's gaze was lost, she whispered while gesturing, making it seem she was talking to herself - Is that something you do often in space? To be greedy? I already made a vow, Octavia, how many more does that woman wants?

All that Lexa could hear after that was Octavia dying laughing. The commander was confused.

- Oh my God this is worse than I thought. Ok, do you want to sweep Clarke off her feet? - Octavia finally said after some embarrassing seconds. Lexa looked at her confused again and the other girl snorted - I mean, do you want to make her feel sexually so good?

- I am listening.


Later that night, Clarke came home from the haunting with some grounders. She was now one of the most talented hunters of the camp. She was covered in dirt, all she wanted was to take a bath and have a good night of sleep beside her girlfriend. As she walked through the camp, a Grounder stopped her.

- Heda needs to see you at the Upper Camp.

- Come on, now?

- Something very important.

Clarke looked up for a moment, taking a deep breath.

- Thank you, Helip. The rest of you guys can take our food to the meat tent. Please.

The Upper Camp was actually just big tent, part of the temporary camp they were living at the moment. Some clan did something stupid and now they had to keep an eye on everything, again, and that used to make Clarke very annoyed. There was a little mountain near the place that gave them a better view of the territory, they built an only tent there so Heda could do her job properly. Business only. But in some cases it was also Lexa and Clarke's secret love shack.

Besides the main room with a big table, chairs and red curtains, Lexa commanded there to be a bedroom and a room for a huge wooden bathtub. But, you know, business.

- Not today. Not today.

Clarke kept repeating to herself while she walked up the mountain. She was tired, she had hunt some big ass animals, she was PMSing, the only crave in her body was for water and soap. It was only when she was a couple of steps away from the the Upper Camp that she realized a little smoke coming out of it. Clarke's mouth opened in shock. She shouted, still outside the tent.

- LEXA, how many times have I told you NOT TO SMOKE WEED WITHOUT M-

Clarke stopped talking as soon as she entered the tent. Lexa was stepping on a big piece of cloth, that once was a piece of the curtain, to put out a last flame. Clarke glanced around the place, there were flowers and candles all around, but it was a mess. There was some sort of dead animal too, near a curtain that was previously attacked many times by a sword. Lexa finally looked at Clarke, who was still in shock. The commander was in a sexy black night gown, but her face was covered with dirt from the fire. She slided her fingers through her braids, trying to act as normal as possible, and leaned over the table.

- Hi baby – her voice was deep, it was clear she was trying too hard on that.

- What the fuck, Lexa.

Clarke shook her hand to try to get the smoke away from that amazing view. She gave a few steps towards the other girl, twined her fingers through her braids while softly stroking the other hand up and down her girl's tattooed arm.

- I was trying to make you a romantic surprise, I heard that's what you do when skykru want to have hot sex – the brunette stopped talking for a moment, she was serious, then she straightened the posture of her back – But everything went wrong. I failed. Starting with this raccoon that scared me a lot. Big time. - Lexa gave a quick smile.

- Big time? Someone's learning some new words, I see.

- I am trying. I do anything for you, Clarke- Lexa took the blonde's hand and kissed her fingertips - In fact, I would do you too, you know? Anytime.

Suddenly, Clarke's body wasn't tired anymore.

- You're SMOKING hot, did you know that? - she smiled, and before she could kiss Lexa, the girl gave a little laugh. Even though she didn't get it right.

- Smoking hot like a bitch, am I right? - Lexa said almost whispering it and then she subtly gave a smug smile and a laugh through her nose.

- Oh... - Clarke narrowed her eyes with a playful intention – What about a bath, huh? Will you be my bitch there? - the blonde said close to the other girl's ear while pressing her hips against hers.

Lexa swallowed. She put her head back so Clarke could keep kissing and sucking her neck. Her fingers were tangled in the blonde's hair and she pulled it a little bit, making Clarke smile. Clarke was now aiming for Lexa's lips, kissing them roughly.

- Yeah... Hmm... I will be your bitch like a bitch.

Clarke stopped. She looked at Lexa, who had a forced smirk and a slight look of guilt on her face.

- I mean, I want you to be my daddy so we can do the do forever- though Lexa was seriously hot and cute, Clarke put a hand on the other girl's face and looked at her with a concerned look.

- Lexa.

- Whip this pussy, fill me up and ride me good.

- Lexa.

- What? We gon bang. Bitch.

- Who did this to you?

Lexa looked down.

- Octavia.

Clarke raised her eyebrows, pressed her lips together and nodded her head.

- I'll kill her.