Title: War Won, Love Lost
Author: Shinigami195
Rating: PG
Summary: A small ficlet, Harry reflects on losing a loved one
Warnings: Death, little bit of angst, self-blame, gay men (yaoi or whatever you wanna call it)
Disclaimer: Just like normally, I own nothing!!!!!!!!! I don't even own myself, my muses do, it's a sad life to be a slave to muses.
Archive: If you want it, e-mail me and tell me the URL of your site and you can have it.
Notes: This is my first Harry Potter fic, I made a promise when I started writing fanfiction I would never write a Harry Potter Fic, well I've broken that promise, but my muses wouldn't leave me alone until I got this idea on paper.
Please review, I love hearing feedback, even if it's bad feedback, ^__^
War Won, Love Lost
The game has ended, the fans have gone back up to school for dinner and my teammates have also gone. My friends watch me but I pay them no attention and in time they turn and walk away, hand in hand, they know I miss him, and they know that nothing they do, can't offer me comfort like he was able to.
Night soon falls and I am still standing there, lost in my deep thoughts and the painful memories that come with them.
So many things have changed, so many things have been and gone, so many lives have been lost, and all in the short time between now and the last time I stood like this. Only last time I was not alone, this time I am.
He was with me then, he had come to tell me he was leaving, that his father was calling him home for some reason or other. I know the real reason why, even if he did not tell me. How could I not? It was written so plainly in his eyes, his icy blue eyes that were normally colder than an iceberg, they told me he was off to join his father in serving the Dark Lord, and even then as we said goodbye with a soft kiss, I knew it would be the last time I saw him alive, one of us, maybe even both of us would die, but we would not survive together, unless we fought on the same side and he would not disobey his father and fight along side me. That night has been so sweet, such a simple embrace that he held me in, such a simple word goodbye, and such a simple kiss, so light I nearly missed it and then he was gone, into the night, and I didn't see him again… not until the day he died.
I take off my glasses and wipe at my eyes, the memory of what was once something so pure and perfect in the world that was nothing but hate, brings tears to my eyes but in the dark starless night no one can see them, or me. I'm too far away from any source of light for that, but now days that it how I like it to be.
The battle is over, Lord Voldemort has been defeated and most of his followers were killed in the battle. The one I wished would survive didn't, I saw his death before my eyes, I saw him get stuck down by his Master, and I heard Voldemort's high cruel laugh as he did it. When Voldemort killed him, he killed something deep inside of me too. I watched in horror as the boy that I loved fell down, his body limp and his eyes full of pain and then for a second his eyes recognised me and he gasped my name before hitting the ground with a dull thump that sounded like thunder to me, and he was still.
As his body fell to the ground that was running rivers of blood and tears, my own body fell beside his and I cradled him in my arms, his blood and my tears, mixed together, adding to the flood of death that was already on the surrounding terrain.
So here I stand, lonely and loveless, I still have my friends, but not even they can replace the feelings that he made me feel.
Our relationship had been a rough hard road. How could it not have bin? He was in another house to me, we were sworn enemies according to his father and we had been rivals since we met on the very first train ride to Hogwarts. No one would have understood how our love had come to be, I don't even recall when my feelings of pure hatred turned into something else, I didn't think it was possible. But yet it happened, and I don't regret it, not a single moment of it.
But my love wasn't enough to turn him from the Dark Side, to be truthful it was, but his father was too strong willed for him and he was powerless to refuse his father. I should have tried harder, I should have pleaded with him to stay, and I should have begged him not to go.
But I didn't, I had lost my family because of Voldemort, and I didn't want him to lose his as well.
But he was taken from me by Voldemort anyway, just like my parents and my godfather were.
We may of won the battle and the war, but Voldemort took something for all of us that never could be replaced.
A year has passed, since the eve of that dreadful battle, the one, which ended the war, the one, which we won.
But the memory of the price that we all paid is still fresh.
And the wounds that Voldemort gave to me, they are still bleeding, and it will take them a very long time to stop.
~Fin~
It's taken me an hour to get it to how I like it, my first go at it was rubbish but now I think it's pretty good, I also really wanna write a prequel to show the relationship of how Harry and Draco. I knew this was going to happen when I started writing this ficlet.
GOD DAMN MY MUSES!!!!!!!
Well hope you enjoy, please review.
Bye
~Shinigami195~
07/07/03