Through A Glass, Darkly

by Miss Anne Thropy

Sirius Black fell through the veil. But Harry refused to let him go and rescued him. Or rather, rescued the female version of Sirius Black. Now Harry and Remus must deal with the complications a different gender will cause in their relationships.

Disclaimers: Of course HP is the property of JKR, Bloomsbury et al. If I owned HP...let's just say the books would be considered seditious material. he he he

Notes: Once again, playing with AU realities. Not to mention messing around with how gender would affect these relationships and how the characters would react to them. Yup.

Through A Glass, Darkly.

"When I look in the mirror

I can't believe what I see.

Tell me who's that funky dude

Staring back at me."- Weezer

Sirius Black was hit by the curse and Harry watched as his body curved into a graceful arc and sank into the Veil.
Sirius would have been lost if he had remained behind the Veil. But Harry didn't let it happen. Rather than listen to the voice telling him to not go after him, Harry pushed Lupin away and dived right after, not thinking about anything else except getting Sirius out.
He didn't know what had made him reach out through the murky liquid that he was moving through. He just thought that Sirius would be the only person trapped in the Veil. He hadn't expected all the hands to reach out for him. So he took the chance on blind faith and grabbed the hand that felt like Sirius's.
Harry then swam back. He could see the doorway where Sirius and he had fallen through and forced his legs to keep kicking, his arm to keep paddling until he had broken through the surface. It never occurred to him that he wouldn't be able to do so. Harry only knew that he was running out of air and that he had to do it, no matter what. Failure wasn't an option.
He finally broke the surface with a frantic burst of energy and hauled himself out, landing on the cold cement of the department of mysteries, trembling and gasping for breath, his hand still clamped tightly around Sirius's thin wrist.
He heard the murmurs and the comments as if through water. He was simply too tired and too worn out by the rescue to pay attention. That was why he missed it when they pried his fingers from Sirius's wrist and a collective gasp went up when they turned him around. He dimly caught the excitement in the voices, but his exhaustion was too much to bear and he succumbed.

When he woke up again, it was with a sigh of relief. From what he could tell with his fuzzy vision, he was back at Hogwarts, in his own bed. They had stopped the Death Eaters from getting the prophecy. Things were going to be well, if not fine. He smiled tiredly and rolled over. Only to bump into a warm body. Frowning, he opened his eyes and saw that he was sharing the bed with someone who was more or less a black and white blur.

Without a second thought, Harry sat up and scrabbled his hand over what he assumed was his night-table. After a few seconds of searching, his fingers found the familiar shape of his spectacles and he quickly shoved them onto his face. Then turned to look at who his bed-mate was.

Pale long limbs that looked like they hadn't seen the sun in years. Long thick black hair that reached, he assumed, past the well-shaped arse it barely hid. The person's face was practically buried in the pillow and hidden by the heavy coils of hair, so Harry reached out and pushed it away to reveal the face.

The face was familiar, but he couldn't place the aristocratic features. They vaguely reminded him of someone that he knew very well, but nothing in the face was giving him a clue.

That was until the mystery person shifted slightly to reveal the top portion of a chest covered in the same prison tattoos he had seen on Sirius's chest. Squinting, he was about to carefully push the rest of the hair away to get a closer look at the markings.

Right when the door opened to reveal Remus Lupin standing there with a shocked expression on his face and a tray of hot tea in his hands.

Harry had blushed and dropped the hair and was about to make his excuses when his bed-mate sat up and yawned.

"What? Is it morning already?" The bed-mate asked in a husky voice, making Harry and Remus simply gape.

"Did something happen, Moony, that you're looking at me as if I grew another head?"

Remus closed his mouth with an audible clicking of teeth and shook his head, but he couldn't force himself to utter a word.

"Moony, love? What in Merlin's name is wrong with you! Why are you looking at me like that? It's me! Sirius!"

Harry blinked, knowing that Remus was shocked more about Sirius than Harry and his old friend sharing the same bed. Reaching out tentatively, he put his hand on Sirius's shoulder, making him turn around.

"Make that her." the snide little voice in his mind supplied as the action whipped the hair in a wide arc, revealing a pair of breasts outlined in heavy black tattoos that he had seen at the beginning of this summer. Only one person had those tattoos.

"You're a woman!" Harry burst out, making Sirius give him a look of withering scorn that he had only seen directed in Snape's direction, but never at him.

Sirius turned and her eyes nearly bugged out of her head when she saw that Harry was in the same bed as her and that she was naked.

"Merlin's balls!" was the last thing Sirius Black shrieked before all hell broke loose.

"So that's really Sirius Black?" Ron asked for what felt like the hundredth time in the last hour. Ron and Harry had been sitting in the dining room for what felt like days, but in reality was only several hours, give or take. The Order was busy trying to deal with the female Sirius Black and Ginny and Hermione were away with the twins, gathering supplies for Grimmauld place, all four of them protesting loudly about being farmed out. (Well, George and Fred were complaining more about only being able to catch a small glimpse of the "Stone Fox" in Harry's bed.) So that left Ron and Harry alone and Harry was quickly reaching his last nerve at being asked such an inane question constantly.

Harry was rubbing his temples to ease the stubborn headache that had settled in the minute when it seemed like the entire Order of the Phoenix had swooped down to his room to find him and Sirius Black, who was somehow a woman, naked in a bed.

"For the last time Ron. Yes. That's Sirius Black." Harry replied irritably. He closed his eyes then and briefly entertained the notion of strangling his best friend to death. He knew that the situation was fucked up beyond belief. So fucked up it was taking everyone time to come to terms that somehow, against all possibilities, the Veil was a portal between dimensions. And he had pulled the wrong Sirius Black out of it.

And now they were trying to figure out exactly how to fix the situation. Which could possibly mean that he would lose Sirius again. And he was damned if he was going to let him...her...whatever. Let them go so easily. Not a fucken chance. Besides, she was such a-

"So what is the verdict?" Arthur Weasley asked the minute that Sirius Black had walked out of the door of the meeting room as per Dumbledore's request.

"We have already determined that she isn't a spy or a ply of the Dark Lord's. There are witnesses to verify that Harry Potter indeed went into the Veil and pulled out Sirius Black. Except not quite the right Sirius Black." He continued while the rest of the order murmured amongst themselves.

"If it's such a difficult complication, keeping the bitch muzzled, why don't we throw her back in?"

Severus sneered as he crossed his arms in front of his chest.

"What would that accomplish, Severus?" Remus asked in a deadly calm voice, his light brown eyes glittering dangerously in the candlelight. "What if we do exactly as you suggest and then nothing happens? Do you not realize that it would kill Harry twice over to have his godfather snatched away from him twice over without hope? No. We cannot do that. It's too cruel."

Severus raised an eyebrow before he sneered in Remus's direction.

"Fine. We keep her for Potter's sake. Or should I say, your own, Lupin?"

Remus's eyes lightened and he had to clench his hands under the table in order to prevent himself from doing something that he would later regret. He hated to admit it, but Snape's jab had hit home. He was a coward, he couldn't deny that any further. He had only recently been able to rekindle his old relationship with Sirius and had nearly lost a part of himself when he had seen Sirius fall through the veil. If it hadn't been for Harry's thoughtless bravery, he wouldn't have gotten another chance.

"Even if that chance is with a woman?" The little voice in his mind jeered. A voice that he shut off without any compunctions whatsoever. He wasn't concerned about the body, only the soul that lay within. One look into those grey eyes that morning had convinced him that this was the same Sirius Black he had given his love to all those years ago. He was going to be with Sirius. That was it.

So lost was he in his thoughts that he didn't notice either furore or Tonks speaking out beside him.

"That was uncalled for, Snape. He's only lookin' out for Harry!" Tonks shot out in Remus's defense, which only earned her a glare from the other man.

"Fine. Believe what you want. I am only setting out what would be the easiest course of action in dealing with the mutt." Severus snapped out frostily.

"Well...we also have to consider that even though certain aspects of the personality are there, we are dealing with a different person. And not just in gender changes." Bill Weasley spoke up thoughtfully.

"This Sirius has had a different life than the male Sirius and is also, I hate to admit it, more balanced than the male Sirius. There's also the added bonus of not having to worry about her status. No one would think to look for a female Black. And it is true she resembles Bellatrix LeStrange, but a few changes in her appearance will take care of that. She could be a helpful ally when it comes to fighting and we know that her story checks out, after all Severus did take the liberty of dosing her with veritaserum.

Tonks and Remus, as well as Hestia Jones and the Weasleys looked at Snape, who shrugged. Tonks was about to open her mouth and tell him off when Dumbledore raised his hand.

"We know that this is Sirius Black, from another universe like ours. We also know that despite the appearance and different traits, that the basic personality of Sirius Black is within that woman. I say that we do our best to integrate her into the Order. After all, as William stated, she will make a useful ally in the dark times ahead. This meeting is dismissed."

The members all waited in respectful silence as they watched Dumbledore walk out of the room and leaving them there, no doubt to discuss what had occurred in the past thirty-odd hours. Although some, were all for having a much more pleasant and saner version of Black in the ranks, some were violently neutral about it, like Snape. The rest decided to adopt a wait and see approach as to whether they could take the less trouble-some version of Sirius Black.

"What do you think?" Tonks asked Remus, knowing full well what he thought, but not wanting to give up the opportunity to talk to the man she harboured a secret crush for.

"I'm willing to accept her." Remus stated quietly, making his conviction shine through the words as if he had shouted them to the crowd.

"Why are you so willing to accept this woman at face value?" Kingsley asked neutrally. Remus turned and looked at him with an unwavering gaze.

"I failed him fourteen years ago. I'm not about to make the same mistake again." was all he said before quickly making his exit, leaving Tonks and Kingsley staring after him.

He was angry, but more than anything, he was sad. Sad because Dumbledore was placating the idea of keeping the woman, Sirius, only to keep Harry quiet. Like giving a toy to a fretful child. Remus knew the cost of war and the prudence of being ruthless. He knew that they had to take whatever chances fate handed them and run with them. But he couldn't quite stomach the fact that despite seeming to be equals, all of them were pawns in the great chessboard that only Dumbledore and Voldemort had the prerogative to play upon.

Harry must have dozed off after having that last unfinished thought, because the next thing he knew he was being shaken roughly. Jerking up, he was yet again taken aback by the grey-eyed beauty that was staring down at him with what he could only think of as being sisterly concern. She somehow didn't seem to have the motherly aspect down-pat and Harry had to briefly wonder whether she too had spent twelve years in Azkaban like her male counterpart.

"You shouldn't sleep here when you have a bed." She told him, her voice amused as she ran her hand through his messy hair.

"But then, you do have a strange habit of sleeping in odd places." She teased him lightly, referring to the earlier incident of them waking up in the same bed. She frowned at the statement and shook her head.

"I'm sorry. I meant the other Harry. He would fall asleep in closets and it would take me ages to find him. But either way, it's not a good habit to start."

Harry could only blink at her as she stroked his hair. Not because he was still astounded by her, but because with every touch, his cock was starting to behave just like every other teenager's did in the presence of a beautiful woman. A beautiful woman that had, to quote George Weasley "a nice set of peaches" that were about eight inches away from his face.
"Uh...yeah. I think I'll do that. Sleep in a bed I mean. Not like sleep in a closet." Harry mumbled and willed his cock to go limp before he stood up and showed his godmother exactly how much he liked this new version of Sirius Black.

Once he was sure that he wasn't going to have a problem, he stood up and was about to flee when his traitorous stomach growled loudly enough to wake the dead. Sirius at least had the grace to turn her head away, but Harry could see her shoulders shaking with suppressed mirth.

"Sorry. I shouldn't have done that." Sirius apologized the moment she was able to better control herself and threw her arm around his shoulders in a friendly gesture. Harry gulped and sent up a feeble prayer to whichever deity was out there to not let him spring wood when he was that close to his godmother.

"How 'bout I make you something to eat to make it up to you. What do you say?"

She asked, drawing so close that Harry was able to see the pure silver ring on the outside of her irises and also take a small peek down the bodice of the robes she wore. He wasn't sure what to make of the fact that she was wearing some kind of gauzy camisole that just barely hid the tattoos and her...

"-tuna and rye bread. With some tea of course. Would that be good?"

Harry's attention snapped back and he nodded quickly, hoping that he hadn't agreed to eat something disgusting.

It must have been the right thing to do, since Sirius gave him a winning smile that had him tugging on his shirt-hem. An action Sirius didn't notice since she was too busy dragging him to the kitchen to make the promised sandwiches.

True to her word, she made him delicious sandwiches and good strong tea with enough milk and sugar. He ate everything without pause and after the dishes had been cleared away, he sat sipping his tea with Sirius, who was leaning over the counter as she nursed a cup of strong coffee.

At first, there had been silence, but Harry got too curious about his other self and Sirius' past, so they began to talk, the facts tumbling out of her mouth too engrossing for him to notice how the black robe gaped and showed plenty of the black-etched bosom.

"-The other Harry, his mum, Jessamyn was my best mate. She had this crazy black hair like you also do and she was so much fun to be around. Remus was her first boyfriend, but Liam Evans was the one that caught her eye. Pettigrew was always trying to get into her knickers, but once Liam took a look at the other Harry's mum..."Sirius laughed and took a long sip of her coffee. "Let's just say the Marauders had to take a break."

"So the other me has my mum's hair and dad's eyes then? And his name is Harry Evans?" Sirius nodded.

"Yeah. Harry's parents were really great people, just like yours. They loved him quite a bit, just like your parents did as well." Sirius told him, her eyes darkening as she tried to push the bad memories away.

"Did...Pettigrew betray them and got you sent off to Azkaban too?"

Sirius's face darkened and Harry was sure she was going to throw the cup at his head before she finally spoke, albeit in clipped, terse sentences.

"I didn't go after him like the male Sirius did. I was in Wales. With the other Remus." She took a deep breath and Harry wondered if she was still trying to control her temper or control another emotion altogether.

"When we got back we got hauled in for questioning. I was in Azkaban for a year. They pulled me out and gave me a trial and found me not guilty. The other Remus was in there for three years until they finally granted him a trial. They had to let us go. Especially with the Black name and all that it meant behind us. We moved into Grimmauld and managed to procure custody of the other you, since Jessamyn and Liam named Remus and I his godparents."

Harry had to fight to swallow the lump that had formed in his throat.

"So...the other me never lived with my mu-my dad's family?"

Sirius grimaced slightly at the question.

"Only for a year, when I was in Azkaban. I got him as soon as I could travel and brought him here. Thank goodness. They were horrid bastards. It was wonderful having the chance to raise him..."

Sirius trailed off and Harry felt that she was hiding something else. But he didn't get a chance to ask her anything since Remus showed up and the look in his eyes told him that he wasn't welcome or wanted in the room.

Harry didn't want to leave just yet, but Sirius shook her head almost imperceptibly. He left.

They all had to go back to Hogwarts to pack for summer holidays. The feast was going on, but Harry didn't feel like joining his classmates. He was too pre-occupied thinking about the events in the department of mysteries to think about celebrating. The second war had been declared and Voldemort had come back for certain. No one was hiding that fact any longer.

"And Sirius Black is alive and a stone fox and my godmother." He muttered as he half-heartedly gathered his clothes and books and shoved them into his trunk.

Although it was strange at first to talk to this woman that was, but wasn't Sirius, he had a feeling that the more time he spent with her, the less he would notice the differences. Already he had seen Professor Lupin warming up to her as well as well as the older Weasleys. Some of the members were still watching with wary eyes, but if Sirius noticed, she gave no sign of it. She dealt with the situation with such aplomb that Harry almost forgot the events that had to her being there as well as the new war.

The war. Harry thought about that and shuddered.

The idea of war was utterly unnerving to him, but the idea of Sirius as a woman was downright terrifying. Especially since she had begun to figure prominently in his dreams and more often than not, he had woken up covered in his own ejaculate and sweating as the half-recalled images of long hair and pale breasts with inked designs faded in the cruel glare of day.

There was also the odd look that Remus had given him before he had left. It was as if he was warning him to not come too close. That he had already claimed that territory and wouldn't hesitate to fight to keep Harry away from it..

"As if I could get anywhere near her." Harry muttered as he ran his hands through his hair. He could only dream about it and hope that one day he would be lucky enough to find a woman like that. Although it was true that he got a lot of things because of who he was, he knew that getting the girl wasn't one of them. He had to count himself grateful that Cho had given him the time of day. After all, apart from Hermione and Ron, people tended to either get hurt or die when they got too close.

Harry sighed and shrugged. No point in dwelling on the impossible. Besides, he had to psych himself.

Although he wasn't overjoyed at having to go back to Privet Drive until his birthday had passed, he was grateful for the time away from Sirius. At least he would have enough time to get his infatuation out of his system before he went to live with her for the rest of the summer.

He nodded to himself as he packed more of his belongings away. That would have to be it. He just hoped that it would work. If it didn't the rest of his summer would be something straight out of a nightmare.

Remus lay in bed, the sheets barely covering his lean form. He was aware of the slight chill, but he didn't bother to pull them up, since he was too busy watching Sirius as she got dressed.

"Are you going to stay here today?" She asked him as she pulled on a black robe over her undergarments and settled it so that it lay perfectly on her body.

"No. Unfortunately, I have to go to the werewolf pack in the afternoon." Remus replied as he sat up and stretched out the kinks in his shoulders and back, wincing slightly at the sting of scratches on his back.

Sirius caught the action and smirked at him before turning around and beginning to pull a hair brush through her waist-length hair.

"Can you put it off for one day? Harry's coming in the afternoon." She told him, making Remus's eyes narrow briefly at the mention of his godson.

He loved his godson deeply and understood that whatever desire he felt for Sirius was simply the product of hormonal lust that would soon pass. But the wolf didn't see it like that. Especially not that night he had once again set eyes on Sirius.

He hadn't planned on anything happening when he walked into the kitchen that June night, but the scent of a female and the desire to claim and negate any other claims on her made him see Harry as an enemy. Once he had left, it had begun.

They caught each other's eyes briefly as Harry silently went upstairs. She was the first one to look away

as she then turned her back to him and gathered the cups. She knew he was watching her every move. Watching how the black velvet of the robes moved to either hide or accentuate breasts, hips, waist. How the hair swished softly with her movements, making a perfect frame for the delicate oval face with those wide grey eyes and pouty mouth.

Remus watched her as he recalled what she had told them in the morning after she had been able to find one of her mother's old robes and fixed herself up a bit.

"I wasn't arrested because Remus Lupin and I had eloped and we were in Wales. They took us into custody, but apart from my distasteful marriage, they couldn't hold me to any charges. They only held Remus longer out of spite. But I got him out. I had Harry and Remus and that was all I needed. Until Voldemort came back...that was how we all ended up in the Department of Mysteries. Bellatrix hit me in the chest and Harry went after me...and I woke up here."

Her words echoed in his head as he watched her wash the cups by hand. Half of him wanted to ask her about the more intimate details of her life with this other version of himself.

"So how did he get you into bed? How does he touch you? Does he bury his hands into your hair and bend you over the table? Does he come all over your tits? Does he eat you out even when there's blood leaking from your cunt?"

He didn't say anything of that nature. He only asked her about her life and then left for a mission Dumbledore had entrusted him with.

He spent the day with the werewolves and despite all his efforts, he couldn't seem to keep a tight enough hold of the wolf when he left the pack. Maybe it was due to the proximity of the full moon, or maybe it was the fighting and then the mating he had witnessed earlier. He didn't know.

All he knew was that when he finally made it to Grimmauld place he was either going to have to get drunk and lock himself in his room, or go and find a warm and willing body to take out the frustrations on. He had come purposely late, hoping that he would maybe run into someone that would be willing to give him a no-strings attached tumble when he had heard Sirius and Harry talking.

He would have normally given them a pass if it hadn't been for the fact that Harry was staring at her with a hungry, almost predatory look. Sure the boy was a teenager and his hormones were probably out of control as much as his and his friends' had been, but it didn't sit well with Remus. Especially not when it was Sirius that Harry was giving that look to.

That was why he had let the animal show. Not fully, but just enough to warn the boy. He was positive Harry might have disagreed, but Sirius was smart enough to warn him. So there they were.

"You didn't have to scare him off, you know." Sirius said softly, breaking the silence that had fallen on the kitchen after Harry had left.

Remus growled softly as he crossed the space between them and stood barely a foot away from her.

"He was looking at you that way." He told her gruffly as he raised his hands and buried them in her hair. She only gave him a heavy-lidded look, but said nothing.

"What did the Order decide? Am I useful enough?" She asked in a bitter, almost mocking tone.

"To be blunt. Yes." Remus replied, not in the mood for any niceties at the moment.

"Why did they decide that it was the best?" She asked flatly.

"We need the weapon pacified. We need you." Remus answered. She stared at him for a few moments before nodding and continuing with her chores.

"You shouldn't have scared Harry off, no matter what looks he was giving me." She said before she finished and stood in the kitchen. She gave him a long look before she spoke again.

"He's a young man. They all look at me that way." She replied quietly. Remus snorted.

"Besides, it's not for you to decide who looks at me which way. Not unless you lay your claim on me."

Remus's eyes narrowed. She wanted him to claim her? That he could and would do.

Without a word, he took a hold of the neckline of her robe and yanked it hard, tearing it without much effort. Pulling it off her body, he then tossed the pieces in the far corner of the kitchen while she watched him with those coolly amused grey eyes.

"Aren't you worried someone might come in?" she asked him right before he muttered a couple of spells to lock the doors and block the sounds. She raised an eyebrow, her expression still amused before he grabbed her and kissed her.

They both kept their eyes open as he ravaged her mouth, not caring whether teeth scraped and bit at lips and tongue. Not caring that their teeth almost broke from the force he used to kiss her. He wanted her to belong to him. Wanted her to be panting and begging under him, with her perfect skin bruised, bloodied and torn as she cried out for him in a voice made hoarse from screaming.

As he tore at her mouth, he shoved her so that she landed on the table. Reluctantly, he stopped kissing her and quickly took of his own clothes under her quiet gaze. Once he was naked, with an angrily flushed cock standing proudly from a nest of light brown hair, he moved her so that she was lying on the kitchen table.

He kept his eyes on her face as he mounted her, his only caresses being when he parted her thighs and positioned himself. She smiled at him, as if daring him to go on. Remus found that he didn't like that mocking look of hers. He was going to wipe it off of her face, he vowed as he thrust into her without any preparation whatsoever, the wolf enjoying the shocked look on her face as she suddenly found herself filled to the brim with him. He was going to lay claim on her, alright. And she was going to wear the bruises of it. Inside and out.

He thrust into her, harder and harder. He would slam into her and she would gasp, scream, moan and writhe underneath him, her body begging for more even though her face was showing the pain of having him treat her so roughly. Remus had to smile at the fact that she was enjoying being in pain, since it reminded him so much of the male Sirius, who would always be begging for more even though he was clearly in pain and even bleeding some times. But he wouldn't give up. He wanted everything that Remus would give him and then some.

He supposed that was the reason why he started biting her neck, jaw and shoulder. Hard, but not hard enough to break her skin. He didn't think he could bear the guilt of turning her into a werewolf. He stopped only when he needed to concentrate on making her cry out even further. He bit his lip as he fucked her, the pretence of making love to her completely forgotten. He just wanted to hear her shriek and he managed to get that. Her voice, husky and almost breathless as he thrust mercilessly into her was enough to get him off in a shower of what felt like sparks and jabs across every nerve of his body.

She laughed. A low laugh deep in her throat as she let him lie on top of her, his sweaty body on her, his mouth licking her nipples and his fingers playing with the soft nub hidden in the folds of flesh. He didn't know how long they lay like that. He only knew that she had let him be there until he had made her come in a gush of fluid that soaked both of their groins with sticky fluid. That was when she had pushed him off, gathered the ruined robes and walked out of the room.

Remus had to smile when she did that. He liked a realist more than he liked a romantic.

He thought that they wouldn't fuck again. Especially not when there was the chance that the others would find out and start asking awkward questions. As far as they knew, he was asexual and they were looking at Sirius in a new light. A woman, despite being on equal footing with most men in the wizarding world was still held up to the standards of purity before marriage. It was expected even more from women of high rank and he knew that even if it wasn't voiced, they would look askance at Sirius.

Not to mention the cool neutrality that had arisen about her. Most of the wizard still treated her like an outsider, some had actually given up trying to make her fit the image that they had had of Sirius. When it became apparent that things were going to remain as they were, the opinion began to become one of lukewarm friendliness. For Sirius's sake, Remus hoped that it would warm up soon, since one trait that both Sirius's shared was friendship and being surrounded by others.

He knew that if they survived the war, he would have to move quickly to marry her and give her the status as a married woman. The other wizards and witches may not have thought much about his status, but her name and the ring on her finger would wash all of that. That he was sure of.

So he put it out of his mind and willed himself to not look for her in the day time. At least not in that way. Especially not in front of Snape, who watched the proceedings with an amused sneer on his pale face. And certainly not in front of Tonks, who was resigned, but still was still waiting with hopeful eyes.

But a week later, when he was home and still weak from his transformation two nights prior, she had crawled into his bed, naked save for her hair, all warm skin and long limbs.

She left before the sun was up and they both acted as if nothing had happened.

She appeared three nights later and left before dawn. Neither of them said a word about it.

When she came back, he spoke softly to her, asking her to stay. She nodded and they made love, rather than fuck or have sex.

She stayed until he woke up and got dressed.

They took careful measures that no one knew what was going on, which was easy since they were the ones that spent most of the time in Grimmauld Place.

But now, with her announcement, he knew that they would have to be even more on guard. He didn't want Harry to know what was going on. Despite the wolf feeling as if he was a threat to his mate, he didn't want to hurt Harry. He knew what it was like to have a crush on someone he would never be able to touch in that way.

They had never touched on Harry's crush on her, since he had claimed her so brutally on the dining room table. As far as Remus was concerned, there was nothing to discuss. He had marked her thoroughly, had claimed her that way too. Harry was never going to touch her that way.

"I can't. Not so close to the moon. I know that an attack has been planned and I have to find out what exactly is going to happen and warn everyone else." Remus replied absently as he finally got up off the bed and walked over to his closet and pulled out his oldest pair of robes and began to get dressed.

"When will you be back?" She asked as she came up behind him and wrapped her arms loosely around his thin body.

"Tomorrow evening at the latest." He replied, turning around and looking into her eyes, which plainly showed the worry she had for him. Although they downplayed what could happen if he was ever found out, he knew that when he took the missions she worried about him. Especially in the last month. He wondered if this Sirius was slightly precognitive, since he had found her anticipating him coming home early or even when he was injured or having a bad night.

"Try not to worry." He assured her, not wanting to worry her any further. He was used to gambling with his life and had done fine so far.

She nodded and pulled away, letting him dress before they headed downstairs to start the day.

Harry shifted restlessly on his bed at Grimmauld Place. He had been trying to get to sleep for at least an hour and so far sleep was eluding him. He suspected it was because of being in close proximity with the object of his masturbatory fantasies once again and had tried to banish the fantasies by having a furious session.

Unfortunately, despite it giving him a bit of relief, it made him even twice as horny. He had tried to ignore it completely and had tried to make himself come again, but with no results.

He finally decided to get up and take a cold shower, which helped somewhat. He had just finished drying himself off and was about to hop into bed when his stomach gave a loud protesting growl, reminding him that he hadn't eaten since the previous night. He hadn't bothered with breakfast because he was afraid that he would throw up travelling through the portkey and the last thing he wanted to do was show up in front of Sirius covered in vomit. He had that much pride at least.

He also hadn't had a chance to eat since once he had put all of his stuff away, he hadn't been able to keep his eyes open and had fallen asleep until his cock and lurid fantasies had woken him up.

Harry sighed and resignedly made his way downstairs. He might as well eat, since it didn't look like he was going to be able to sleep that night.

He made it to the kitchen without incident and had made himself some toast and a cup of tea when Sirius showed up wearing nothing but a long dark blue dressing gown and her hair in a braid.

"Oh! Harry! What are you doing up so late?" she asked him sleepily as she went to the counter and made herself a cup of tea.

"I...couldn't sleep, so I decided to get something to eat." Harry replied, keeping his attention fixed firmly on the toast that he was currently devouring.

"I knew I should have woken you up for something..." She trailed off and looked down at her tea before looking up at Harry, who was drinking his tea with alacrity.

"Is something wrong, Harry?" Sirius asked, as she leaned over and put her hand on his forehead. Startled at the touch that felt like a brand on his skin, Harry jerked back, flinging the cup across the table in his haste to get away from Sirius.

"Harry? What in the bloody hell-" whatever it was that she was going to say was lost as Harry fled the kitchen and ran to his room.

He sat on the bed and tried to calm himself down. He had been too close to grabbing Sirius and doing something that would have no doubt gotten him hexed.

He had just managed to steady his breathing and build up enough courage to go downstairs and apologize for his actions when Sirius herself appeared in his doorway. To his surprise, her expression wasn't angry. Rather, it was one of understanding mingled with something else he couldn't place.

She didn't say anything as she entered the room and closed the door behind her with a quiet click. She muttered a spell and walked up to the bed. While Harry watched, she undid the tie of her robe and let it pool on the ground to reveal a flimsy black gown that showed as much as it was supposed to hide.

She took his hand and placed it on her shoulder, making him swallow. His first instinct was to pull away, but the cool look in her eyes made that reaction die a quick death.

Why are you doing this? He wanted to ask her, but the words dried up in his throat the longer she stared at him. He knew that there was no lust there. Only a determination to see the action through. Whether mercenary or not, she was going to go through with this. And the expression on her face told him that if he knew what was good for him, he would go through it as well.

Harry knew she loved him, or his other self like family. That much was obvious. He also suspected that she couldn't live with the sexual tension between them any longer. This was the best way and Harry couldn't have agreed more. That was why he didn't pull back when he had the chance.

Harry swallowed hard and moved his fingers under the flimsy strap and pulled it to reveal a pale breast outlined with swirls of black ink that stopped at a puckered nipple. He moved his hand downwards and cradled it, savoured the weight of it before he brushed a thumb across the nipple. That gesture elicited a sharp inhalation from Sirius, which made Harry gain more confidence as he then pulled off the top portion of the gown and bent his head to give her breasts his full attention.

He licked and sucked at her left breast and flicked his thumb across her right breast while the rest of his fingers outlined the slightly raised patterns of the tattoos. He assumed he was doing the right thing when Sirius gave a throaty moan and laid down on the bed, bringing him down with her.

Harry continued on with the licking and sucking of her breasts as his hands moved under the skirt of the gown and travelled from her hip to the juncture of her thighs. Clumsily, he then stroked the insides of her thighs before moving upwards.

She gasped slightly when his fingers caressed the soft skin, which encouraged Harry to delve even deeper until he found the soft nub of skin. Using gentle strokes, he focused his attention on it. Sirius was keening as he did so, and he was so hard himself with the noises coming from his throat he thought he was going to explode . Although he wanted to hear her yell as he had been told by the twins that women did, he knew that if he waited he was going to come and be too embarrassed to continue.

Without a moment's hesitation, he pulled away from her and yanked up her skirt to her waist while he tore off his boxers and sweatpants and hurled them in the far corner of the room. Harry gritted his teeth as he parted her thighs and positioned himself between them, all the while fighting the urge to explode all over her already. He gave her a quick look and saw her face was flushed, but calm as she waited for him to continue.

He nodded to himself and thrust. And nearly finished himself at the feel of that tight, slick passage that closed around his cock almost as soon as he had pushed in.

He took a deep breath through his nose to steady himself before he pulled out and thrust again, this time a little too hard, he thought when Sirius gasped. But when she shook her head and pulled him down, he saw that it was fine and continued to move. It was awkward at first, but once he had found a rhythm, he had her panting and sighing along with him until he was too overwhelmed by the way that her cunt squeezed around his cock and he came with a hoarse cry, his body splayed all over her.

He lay on her for a few moments before she gently eased him off and got out of the bed. He wanted her to stay with him, but he was simply too drained and too spent to say anything to her. So he simply watched her re-dress both herself and him before he closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep.

She was asleep when he came in, the mission having been a success, so he was able to slip away almost a day earlier. He moved carefully in the dark, not wanting to wake her up. Even though he could smell Harry on her skin, under all of the soap and shampoo, he didn't want to wake her.

She woke up either way and watched him as he got undressed and climbed into the bed with her. He saw that she was naked under the covers, and he dimly wondered if she had known he was going to come home early.

The thoughts were then pushed out of his head when the wolf took aversion to the scent on her skin. It was alien and not his and he had to rectify the situation as quickly as possible.

This time, he didn't hold back.

Harry wasn't surprised when, two days later, Remus sought him out.

"I know what happened between you." Remus said quietly as he poured Harry a cup of tea.

"Are you angry?" Harry asked as he poured milk into his tea and grabbed at the cup to hide the fact that his hands shook.

"Only if you ever look at her or touch her in any other way than a son should his mother." Remus replied, his eyes flickering to a liquid yellow as he said the words.

Harry nodded as and took a swallow of his tea.

Remus's eyes went back to their usual amber and he also took a sip of tea.

Neither of them spoke again. Not even when Sirius came downstairs and started to make breakfast.

Remus watched the man as he stood in front of the veil and waited for him to make a decision.

Although he wasn't the same as the woman that had fallen through that archway, Remus wasn't willing to let him go. But he knew all about not being able to make his own choices. So he had brought the man here and let him decide whether he wanted to stay in a world were he could walk free, be with his godson and fight. Or whether he wanted to return to being a prisoner or worse, death.

So they waited in silence and as every minute passed, his nails dug deeper and deeper into his palms as he waited for this damaged Sirius Black to make his choice.

Finally, Remus saw the other man raise a tentative hand, then drop it before making his way towards him and embracing him.

Remus closed his eyes and breathed in the unfamiliar scent of wild flowers and male musk tinged with that faint scent of snow he always associated with his Sirius.

He could get used to this. After all, it was Sirius. And Sirius never changed.

Ende.