The Three Little Figs
Once upon a time, in a fruitbowl not far from yours, there lived three little figs and their mother. Now, one day, while mother fig was sleeping, she was eaten up, digested, and slowly came out again. Her offspring were so terrified by this, that they decided to move into their own homes.
* * *
The figs soon came upon a Home Depot, and all that they had left in stock was: a pack of straws, some peach pits, and a bundle of bananas. Each fig bought a different supply, and set off.
Soon after, they had built their homes, installed their satellite dishes, jacuzzies, and slushie makers. Life seemed pretty sweet. Unfortunately, they didn't know about the Big Bad Blueberry!!!
THUMP THUMP THUMP!! The Big Bad Blueberry came strolling into town. He knocked on the door of the house of straws...it fell in! And so did the rest of the house.
"Uh, little fig, little fig, let me in?" said the blueberry in his most powerful, yet confused voice.
"Not by the hair on my wrink-el-ly skin"
So the blueberry, uh, just ran at the fig, I guess.
The fig ran to his brother's house, which was made of peach pits. The Big Bad Blueberry ran over and yelled,"Little figs, little figs, let me in!"
"Not by the hair on our wrink-el-ly skin" So the blueberry huffed, and puffed and blew the house in. So off ran the little figs, to their other brother's house, which was made out of bananas.
Inside the house, the last fig was cool and collected. He was sitting in his jacuzzi with some foxy fig-females. The other two figs ran into the house, locked the door, and quickly told the last fig what was happening. He simply responded by saying,"I dig, go chill".
"little figs, little figs, let me in!"
"Not by the hairs on our wrink-el-ly skin!"
So the blueberry huffed and puffed and huffed and puffed, but just couldn't blow the house down.
BEEP BEEP BLOOP BLOOP BLEEP BLEEP BLIP! The calm fig was dialing up one of his buddies. (meanwhile, his sibs were sweating, er, juicing buckets!)
Then in came......RAMBO!!!!!(note: you'll just have to imagine loud guitar music)
Rambo fired away, and then the only thing left of the Big Bad Blueberry was a green mop of greasy hair, and blue guts.
"Hey, Ram, glad you could make it. Want some coffee? Tea, perhaps?
AND THEY LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER!
THE END
Once upon a time, in a fruitbowl not far from yours, there lived three little figs and their mother. Now, one day, while mother fig was sleeping, she was eaten up, digested, and slowly came out again. Her offspring were so terrified by this, that they decided to move into their own homes.
* * *
The figs soon came upon a Home Depot, and all that they had left in stock was: a pack of straws, some peach pits, and a bundle of bananas. Each fig bought a different supply, and set off.
Soon after, they had built their homes, installed their satellite dishes, jacuzzies, and slushie makers. Life seemed pretty sweet. Unfortunately, they didn't know about the Big Bad Blueberry!!!
THUMP THUMP THUMP!! The Big Bad Blueberry came strolling into town. He knocked on the door of the house of straws...it fell in! And so did the rest of the house.
"Uh, little fig, little fig, let me in?" said the blueberry in his most powerful, yet confused voice.
"Not by the hair on my wrink-el-ly skin"
So the blueberry, uh, just ran at the fig, I guess.
The fig ran to his brother's house, which was made of peach pits. The Big Bad Blueberry ran over and yelled,"Little figs, little figs, let me in!"
"Not by the hair on our wrink-el-ly skin" So the blueberry huffed, and puffed and blew the house in. So off ran the little figs, to their other brother's house, which was made out of bananas.
Inside the house, the last fig was cool and collected. He was sitting in his jacuzzi with some foxy fig-females. The other two figs ran into the house, locked the door, and quickly told the last fig what was happening. He simply responded by saying,"I dig, go chill".
"little figs, little figs, let me in!"
"Not by the hairs on our wrink-el-ly skin!"
So the blueberry huffed and puffed and huffed and puffed, but just couldn't blow the house down.
BEEP BEEP BLOOP BLOOP BLEEP BLEEP BLIP! The calm fig was dialing up one of his buddies. (meanwhile, his sibs were sweating, er, juicing buckets!)
Then in came......RAMBO!!!!!(note: you'll just have to imagine loud guitar music)
Rambo fired away, and then the only thing left of the Big Bad Blueberry was a green mop of greasy hair, and blue guts.
"Hey, Ram, glad you could make it. Want some coffee? Tea, perhaps?
AND THEY LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER!
THE END