Welcome to the first "Drawn Together" fanfic! I haven't seen any others so I'm assuming this is the case. This fic was inspired by the "Drawn Together" TV show and another fanfic by an author called Slasher 242. Sadly, that author has been removed from
None of show's characters belong to me. They belong to their creator Matt Silverstein and I'm just stealing them. Now enjoy the fic!!
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BZZZZZT!
Xandir's alarm went off with a shriek. Slowly he pulled himself out of bed. He checked his alarm to make sure it was right.
Yep. 6:00. Time to start his morning meditations. Before he got ready we went to check his e-mail.
"Junk, junk junk, spam, junk- Hello! What's this? An E-mail Survey? Eh, why not. It might be fun.
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From: caboose2814theauthor
To: prettyboyneverendingquest
Subject: E-mail Survey
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Personal
First name: Xandir
Last name: Whipplebottom
Nickname(s): Dungeons & Douche bags, Gaystation 2, among others.
Gender: Male
Age: 19
Hair color: Kind of a bleached blond.
Eye color: Black pupils
Race: I think I'm an elf because I have these really pointy ears and like, no body hair to speak of.
Do you wear glasses or contacts: No! That would totally throw off my boyish good looks.
Is you hair long or short: It's short. I guess.
Bad habits: My housemates say that when it, like, comes to my girlfriend, I'm totally weak and easy to manipulate.
Piercings you have: I have a piercing in each of my nipples. It makes me look more manly!
Piercings you want: I dunno... I guess my nipple-rings are good for right now.
Where: See above.
Tattoos you have: None. My girlfriend doesn't allow me to get any tattoos. It's so unfair!
Tattoos you want: I'd like, I dunno... maybe a sword entwined in roses.
Where: My back probably.
Ready for tons of more questions: There's more?! Jesus Christ!
Pets
Do you have any pets: We got Ling-Ling. Does he count?
What are their names: Look up.
What kind of animals are they: Huh. I don't know. He's one of those cute Asian TCG battle monsters.
Do you want more animals: Not really. I mean, usually my style of life is too dangerous to allow pets.
What kind: ...I'm not answering that.
School
Are you still in school No. And I didn't really go to any, like, "school" it was more of a heroes training guild.
Did you drop out: Nuh-uh! I passed with flying colors! I majored in Never-ending Quests.
Favorite teacher: Mr. Knil. He was, like, so nice and totally understood me.
Least favorite teacher: Mr. Frodnonag. He was super mean.
Favorite subject: "Chivalry."
Least favorite subject: "Proper use of potions". Those things are nasty!
Are/were you popular: Not really. I was always picked on. And the guys always avoided me in the locker room. I never figured out why.
Most embarrassing moment: One time, during fighting training. I forgot to go down after this guy mock-hit me. I got a paddlin' for that!
Favorites
Number: 5/5
Color: Light green. All my clothes are that color!
Season: Spring. The only season where I can frolic without people lookin' at me funny.
Holiday: E3. I know, it's not a real holiday. But it feels like it to me!
Band: N'Sync. They have such good music! I meditate to them every morning.
Rapper: I don't like rap. To much cursing.
Thing in your room: The picture of girlfriend that I keep by my bed.
Place to be: With my girlfriend.
Junk food: Potato chips. They're so fun!
Food in general: If I'm adventurin' I can live off of potions if I need to. But when I'm relaxing I totally love Chinese food.
Restaurant: The Giant Panda. All you can eat Chinese for $7.99!!
Shape: Crescents.
Time of day: 3:00 to 4:00. That's when me and Captain Hero lift weights together.
Shampoo scent: Strawberry! It's, like, so totally fresh and makes me smell nice.
Board game: Dungeons & Dragons. Are you really surprised?
Computer game. My own video game! The only problem is sometimes I don't have time to play with myself.
Car: Porsche. Don't ask why.
Phrase: "I'm on a never-ending quest to save my girlfriend!". It never gets old.
Sport: Wrestling.
Team: ???
Possession: My sword. I'm almost up to 10,000,000 kills with it!!
What's the first thing that comes to your mind when you hear...
Dog: Ling-Ling.
Hot: The lava pits in the heart of Mt. Destructor.
War: An unfortunate evil caused by the forces of darkness.
Red: Health power-ups.
Choice: Do I use my sword or use magic?
Gay: Big Gay Al. That guy is, like, so totally gay! I mean, oh my gaaaawwd!!
Fuck: What?
Bisexual: Foxxy and Clara. Those two are all over each other like an amateur gamer on cheat codes.
Black: an unsightly color that clashes with everything in my closet.
Ice: Ice, ice, baby!
Insane clown posse: Where?
Jack: Of Blades.
Rainbow: A cool medium through which to focus my thoughts.
Cherry: On an ice cram sundae.
Leather: Boots.
Water: Zolas. The mysterious water creatures from my homeland.
Private life
Do you have a boyfriend or girlfriend: Yeah...
Do you have a crush: No. I'm completely loyal to my sweetie!
Are you in love with anyone right now: I sure am!
Who was your first kiss: Ah... can we move on.
How many hearts have you broken: Toot's I think. I totally don't know what she expected of me.
How many people broke your heart: None to date.
So what is your bf/gf/crush like: She is the cutest thing to have ever walked Earth. Though she can be a little controlling...
Do you have a picture of him/her: I think I like, totally answered this already.
Do you have a picture of yourself: Not so much. Why would I when I can look in a mirror anytime I like.
Ever kiss a friend: Pass.
Are you still friends: Again, pass.
So... moving on. Do you smoke: No! That's totally disgusting habit.
Do you smoke weed: Once or twice...
Are you the sissy who drinks wine coolers: What's wrong with wine?
Do you drink beer: Yeah! You should've seen the party we had last week!
Have you ever...
Flashed someone: Well... that depends on what you mean. Sometimes I've unintentionally flashed someone because of my apparel.
Gotten really REALLY wasted: A few times. Usually I'm able to keep it under control.
Skinny dipped: No.
Stolen anything: There was this one quest where I had to steal to complete it. But that was the only time!!
Wanted to kick my ass for making this so long: No. Just shove my sword up it.
Pegged someone in the head with a snowball: We don't get a lot of snow where I come from. But if the chance comes I'll totally take it.
Kissed someone of the sex: Once. But only because he was pressuring me to! It's not my fault.
Gone on a road trip: When I'm adventuring my life is a road trip.
Been to a concert: Yeah.
Got pulled over: Uhh... no.
Dropped something on the floor that you were cooking and let someone eat it anyway: Yeah but Spanky didn't even notice. He'll probably be okay.
The last...
Thing you ate: Pudding as a midnight snack.
Thing you drank: Water.
Thing you wore: My pajamas. I'm still wearing them!
Person you saw: Wooldoor. He was sleep walking while I was getting my snack. And mumbling about how his dark god was coming t osmite us all.
Person you kissed: My girlfriend
Song you heard: Whatever it was that Foxxy plays in her bedroom before she goes to bed.
Movie you watched: The Village. Oh my gawd. That was so totally scary.
Random Questions
If you had to eat one thing for the rest of your life, what would it be: Waffles. Lots of waffles with lots of syrup.
Do you remember any of your dreams: Sometimes.
Do you dream in black and white: No, I dream in 8-bits.
Do you admit when you need help with a problem: Of course. Duh!
Can people read you like a book: I don't know. Maybe.
What's your biggest fear: That my girlfriend will be killed by some villain and I'll be powerless to prevent it.
Do you talk a lot: Sometimes I can get carried away, yeah.
Do you like spiders: No!! My first boss battle was with a giant spider. I still have nightmares.
How about kool-aid: It's okay. Prefer soda though.
Do you see dumb people: You mean Wooldoor? Hell yeah.
Do you see dead people: I'm not sure what you're talking about.
Any last words: Why would do something as horrible and tortuous as forcing people to do this.
Now that this is over, what are you going to do: Send it to everyone else of course.
An evil grin spread over Xandir's face as he hit the "send" button. If he had to suffer through it then so would everyone else.
Back to meditations, thought Xandir. So he put in his CD, cranked the volume to full and hit the power switch.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------There it is! The first "Drawn Together" Fanfic. Next time, Ling-Ling gets the e-mail and replys with a vengenence. REMEMBER TO REVIEW!! I need all the reader feedback I can get.