Title: Of Fathers and Daughters
Author: Shaneequa
Disclaimer: Don't own the show nor the song. Just borrowing for the moment.
Rating: PG
Summary: Jasper Shepard did everything to protect his daughter, but in the end he still has his regrets.
Warning: Mild Spoilers for Season 4-5. Character death.
Song: Enough For Now by The Fray
Author's Note: First shot at NCIS, please be nice (: Reviews, greatly appreciated. It's pretty neutral in the beginning.
The century before you never could turn 21
Jasper Shepard met a lovely redhead, Elizabeth Alexander. She was everything he could ever ask for; beautiful, smart, graceful and she was strong. She didn't mind the fact that he was a Marine, that he had to be away for time to time and that they had to constantly move.
Making friends was never a problem with her, she was a social butterfly and she could make friends with anyone, anywhere in the world.
He admired that about her.
Years and years he waited just watching for a son
For someone to go ahead, take the name he said
For years after their marriage, they've been unlucky. They haven't been able to have a child. Though, they both hid it, it was for the better. They were in an unstable environment and dragging a kid from one corner of the world to another wasn't an option. Elizabeth had told him that as soon as he was able to keep at high command, they would settle down. He accepted her offer, hoping that as soon as he got a higher position, she would get pregnant and give him the son he has always wanted.
Years and years he waited
So he waited, she waited; they waited as he took each step up the ladder at a fast climb. After five years, she had announced that she was pregnant and he announced that they were staying in Washington for more than six months, longer than any city they've been at.
He was happy with her announcement, so was she. He was so happy that he went out and bought furniture for a baby boy. Blue, generic blue color. His wife had warned him that he shouldn't invest himself because there was a 50/50 percent that he would have a daughter. But his desired got the better of him and he ignored that comment. He was so sure that he'd have a son, to teach how to play ball, shoot guns, and ride a bike. Someone who would carry on the Shepard name like he did with pride and honor.
And a daughter came instead
His wife went into easy labor, something that wasn't expected since it was her first child after all. He was beside her the whole time, holding her hand, taking all the words that came out of her mouth. Surprisingly, none were curses towards him; they were dreams, her dreams for their child.
Ten hours later, their baby was born.
But instead of a baby wrapped up in a blue blanket, he was handed one in pink.
He had a daughter, Jennifer Anne Shepard.
In that moment, all his dreams came crashing down on him, but other ones replaced them. Of his little princess, with blue-green eyes and her mother's smile.
It didn't matter that he didn't have a son; he had the greatest daughter in the world.
Sixty years of sorrow
Jenny was having her fifth birthday, and Jasper made it a point to be home to celebrate it with his women. He has been away from two months dealing with lower ranking officers who seemed to have found themselves in a bit of a situation. But this was his time; he would let himself be taken from them for a while but not for his princess' birthday.
He stepped in the door smelling the traditional sugar cookies that his wife and daughter baked every year on their birthday.
"I think I heard the door, Mommy," he heard his daughter's voice from the kitchen. He stayed at the doorway watching the two for a moment. He knew that Elizabeth had already sensed his presence.
"I think so too," she whispered to their daughter brushing the auburn locks from her face. She took her daughter by the shoulders turning her around with a smile on her face.
"Daddy!" she squealed jumping onto him and giving him a bear hug.
"We've missed you!" she squealed when she let go for a moment hanging back on, afraid that if she let go, he would go away again.
"Is that true?" Jasper asked meeting his wife's gaze, a silent promise of what was to come later on that evening.
"Uhu!" Jenny answered enthusiastically.
He got 5 or 6 of bliss
That was the last birthday that the family would spend together. A month later, on Jasper's birthday, Elizabeth had planned to surprise him dropping Jenny off to a friend's house so that they could have the night alone. On their way there, a driver who was neither drunk nor was on drugs hit them. The car did three flips and hit a lamppost that went and crashed down the driver's side.
Elizabeth died instantly.
Jennifer survived with a broken arm and nightmares to haunt her forever.
Left my mother's mother without so much as a kiss
Jasper's plane got stranded in Milan, and the burial was held without him. There was no way for him to get back to the states and for him that's when it all started to spiral down.
His wife was gone. His daughter was injured and traumatized.
He didn't know how to deal with it so he hired nannies, traveled the world and built himself a reputation and a name, not necessarily a good one.
It was enough though to distract him from his losses.
The daughter's father watches,
Jasper Shepard sat in the corner of his study watching his daughter from there. She was playing her dolls, her favorite one being the one his wife had given her before she died. It was a rare occasion that he was at home for more than twenty-four hours. His business took him in all the corners of the world, dealing with people he never wished that his daughter would have to deal with. He's worked long and hard so that she wouldn't be involved in his business.
Even if it meant that he had to separate himself from her, the only member of his family.
He hoped that she would understand later in like about it.
He's not longer with us but he left this dusty room
He faked his death; it was a choice that he made himself. It was to protect her, because if he didn't do otherwise, both the cops and La Grenoullie would be tracking him wanting to bring him down. He didn't think that with his death, his sweet little Jenny would seek revenge to the man that was accused of killing him.
He sat there in the study looking around the room with the glass of scotch in his hands. It's been such a long time since he's been in that study, a decade and some. Nothing much as changed though, his books were still lined up as they were when he 'died'. His desk was still in order. The pens may have changed and the old family portrait of them moved somewhere he didn't know, but in hindsight it was still the same.
His daughter was holding onto a past that she didn't need to hold onto. There was never going to be closure and he knew that. Her rational mind did but it was clouded with something else.
Rene Benoit stepped inside the door his usual blank face looking straight at Jasper Shepard.
"My old friend," his accent was thick as he approached Jasper who waited there.
"Leave my little girl alone," Jasper said, his old voice raspy from the burn of alcohol.
"She didn't think to leave mine, alone, why should I do the same?" Rene replied.
"Touch her, and I will kill you."
"Like how I supposedly killed you?"
The frog chuckled. Jasper Shepard got off from his seat towering over the small French man in front of him.
"Au Revior," the frog said grinning walking out the door.
Jasper followed him out.
In your name and it's an honor, it's a shame but it's your honor
Jennifer Shepard, Director. After six years, she had stepped up the almost final step up that ladder. It was all to prove her father's innocence. To clear his name, their name all the same.
She had pulled some strings to get a hold of her father's file staring at his picture that came with it. He looked handsome in his crisp white uniform, all his achievements showing on pins. She took the picture bringing it to a shop that made frames hoping to get a special one. This was her father after all, the one who at a young age taught her how to shoot a gun, ride a bike and play ball just so she wouldn't be discriminated as a girl.
She's learned so much since then.
Including shooting with her left hand with perfect aim.
But all the things she has learned wasn't enough.
Take it on your shoulder till you can find another
She still needed to seek revenge in the name of her father. She vowed on his grave that he would bring down Rene Benoit with every fiber of her being. Jennifer figured that if Rene Benoit was finally dead and his cold blood on her hands, she would get absolution. Like that weight that she had been carrying would be lifted off of her.
Her father wasn't to blame, Rene Beniot was.
It was a story she was sticking with.
That's enough for now, he should've never left you broken
The time came and Jennifer Shepard had gotten her opportunity. Going to that dock that night was what she had wanted to do, but for some reason, sleep over took her. The gun was placed on the table and that's where she found it in the morning when she woke up in her bed with no recollection of how she got there.
A sleeping pill was placed in the bourbon, crushed and poured in there while she had been away at work and Noemi cleaning her room, the vacuum making her none the wiser.
He should've held you, things your father never could do
Jasper's opportunity came. He'd been in contact with the agent that was undercover for the Frog. He was to take the blame for it all, and he was more than thankful that people still owed him favors here and there.
He took the gun, making sure that the door was locked and that his daughter was safe. He headed down to the dock and approached Rene. The man didn't know what hit him. Jasper had offered him a hand to shake and as in polite society, Rene took his hand.
Pressure point.
Shoot.
Push.
Splash.
The gun was disposed off with Trent Kourt. A new gun, the same built and model was used to replace the gun that was under Jennifer Shepard. They weren't taking anything for granted, weren't risking Jenny's name to be in there.
That's enough for now, he would've never left you broken
That night, Jasper Shepard came back into his old home in Georgetown. He walked into the study taking his grown daughter in his arms and lifting her up the stairs into the bedroom that he used to share with Elizabeth.
Jenny fuzzed as he slipped the cover over her body, but she didn't wake up.
He would've held you, things your father never told you
Jasper sat there looking at his daughter, her innocent angelic face. It was like he was back in the hospital almost forty years ago, being handed this beautiful little baby in a pink blanket. She looked so peaceful in her sleep that he would've never guessed what she was capable of when she was awake.
For a split second, he contemplated reaching over and wrapping his arms around her frame.
He missed her, like only a father could miss his daughter.
He would've hugged her, but he couldn't.
Rene Beniot's death was supposed to give her peace. Let her move on and show the great woman that she is to the world. It wasn't supposed to let her open her eyes to her father's deceits. That wasn't the point.
He walked down the stairs and out of the house casting one last look around it with a sigh. When this all started, he never meant for her life to turn out like this. He imagined her with children. Grandchildren that he and Elizabeth could spoil rotten behind Jenny's back. A happy family that would never come to be.
"I'm sorry, Liz. I'm just doing what's best for her," Jasper whispered his head looking up at the strangely starry city sky.
A gust of wind blew threw.
He nodded, and then smiled.
Breathing comes in pairs
Inhale, exhale. It was his motto as he sat behind the crowd on the sunny morning, mocking all the people dressed in black mourning the loss of a colleague and friend.
His daughter was in that casket, closed and sealed for all those who wanted to see her. It was better that way, as he heard, she had died because their house had caught on fire. As soon as he found out, he tried to see if the fire was accidental, or if he would kill someone for arson, but he couldn't find any information. Everyone had been tight lipped about her death and it was getting to him.
Except for twice
The event was coming to an end. People had come up to the mini podium speaking, telling everyone who had come today their appreciation. Stories of how the director wasn't always such a good girl that she wanted people to see her. There was bittersweet laughter heard accompanying those stories.
People started to disperse as her coffin was lowered, the flag has been given to someone and his daughter had received multiple awards for honoring her country.
Six people stood by crowding around her coffin staring. He could make them out as throwing roses. They stood there until the dirt was packed all heading into a big black SUV at the end with one final glance at his daughter's resting place.
As soon as they were gone, he stepped forward.
Closer and closer to his daughter.
One begins and one's goodbye
He breathed in the scent of fresh dirt. Standing on the grave of his daughter. He knelt down picking up the brown dirt that covered her grave. Separated the two of them, for real this time.
"Hey Princess," he whispered tears forming in his eyes. He chocked on a sob not knowing what he was there for. If after all that time trying to protect her was worth it, because he never got to see her grow up. He watched from the sidelines, but he was never there.
That's enough for now, I would've never left you broken
'What ifs' and 'maybes' started playing out in his mind. He didn't know how he could change this outcome, but he wanted to so bad. A parent should never have to burry their child, and that's exactly what happened to him.
"I'm sorry, princess," he whispered. He could feel the burn of the hot sun on his neck, mocking his feelings with its happiness. "I… I should've taken better care of you."
I would've held you, things your father never could do
Jasper slowly lowered his upper body onto the brown dirt, his body sprawled on top of it all. His eyes were closed his face turned to the side letting one tear descend from his face.
Men don't cry. It was something he taught his officers, but for this, he would make an exception.
"I haven't hugged you in a long time, princess. But late for that now isn't it?"
Words your father never told you
"I love you, Princess. I'm sorry."
I hope you guys liked it(:
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