Darkness
Usual disclaimers apply.
It never goes away, this darkness that lurks in the back of your skull. It taints the air you breathe, the food you eat, and the kisses you bestow. It declares itself openly when you speak to your father or reprimand the new maid for interrupting you. And it is never more insidious then when you are alone.
The darkness can be suppressed by surrounding yourself with happier things. Scotch. Cars. Friendship granted unconditionally from the delivery boy. For a time, you can feel what you imagine is normal – a sense of belonging, wanted, loved. Sometimes those fleeting moments make up for your birthright as lord of the manor.
Clark, however, is both bane and boon. He has saved you, literally and metaphorically but the cost is heavy. He asks too many questions and he pushes too deep in territories you warn him from. He tries to break your reserve when it is all that you can call truly yours. A single look invites the darkness to whisper lurid acts and suggestions into your mind, demands you take the farm boy's innocence and his trust.
You could push him away. You've tried. But he will not be deterred from being a part of your life. You could rip him to shreds with a few well-placed words. You tell yourself that you don't because you've found that you enjoy his friendship. The truth is that the darkness inside wants him with you. There is nothing sweeter than the seduction and subsequent destruction of an innocent, it says.
Usual disclaimers apply.
It never goes away, this darkness that lurks in the back of your skull. It taints the air you breathe, the food you eat, and the kisses you bestow. It declares itself openly when you speak to your father or reprimand the new maid for interrupting you. And it is never more insidious then when you are alone.
The darkness can be suppressed by surrounding yourself with happier things. Scotch. Cars. Friendship granted unconditionally from the delivery boy. For a time, you can feel what you imagine is normal – a sense of belonging, wanted, loved. Sometimes those fleeting moments make up for your birthright as lord of the manor.
Clark, however, is both bane and boon. He has saved you, literally and metaphorically but the cost is heavy. He asks too many questions and he pushes too deep in territories you warn him from. He tries to break your reserve when it is all that you can call truly yours. A single look invites the darkness to whisper lurid acts and suggestions into your mind, demands you take the farm boy's innocence and his trust.
You could push him away. You've tried. But he will not be deterred from being a part of your life. You could rip him to shreds with a few well-placed words. You tell yourself that you don't because you've found that you enjoy his friendship. The truth is that the darkness inside wants him with you. There is nothing sweeter than the seduction and subsequent destruction of an innocent, it says.