I Found Happiness
Raven sprinted through the streets. Tears streaked down her face slowly freezing still. Snow blew scattered all around her. The wind howled with rage and misery much like how Raven felt. Even through the thickness of her indigo jacket the cold nipped at her skin. Raven wiped her eyes. In all honesty she couldn't see anything so it wasn't like it was much help.
Before her was a sea of white and inky darkness. It didn't matter though she knew this path by heart. Every day for the past eight years since that Christmas day, she came to this spot. Sometimes sadness, sometimes happiness, sometimes loneliness, maybe even her husband would accompany her to this very spot. Many times she had hoped to share it with someone else just as special. That hope had been dashed away with a single word.
Barren.
The accursed word. After struggling she made it to the bench and sat. The harsh wind almost blew her away. Raven didn't care. She knew it was stupid to walk around in a blizzard unprepared but her state of mind made her ignore any logic. She pulled her boots from the foot deep snow and hugged her knees to her chest. Her lips cracked and turned blue from the cold. Tears streamed and froze even quicker in the burning cold. Snowflakes quickly coated her. Raven was beginning to resemble a pile of snow.
Years ago Raven found herself in a position much like her current one. It was now a thing of the past but one of her happier days. The memory brought a small smile to her frozen lips. She recalled the way his arms wrapped around her slender frame, the feel of the warmth radiating him against her back, the sound of his thumping heart like a lullaby for her. Raven swore she could feel his embrace around her all now. She could even hear his voice distantly.
"… ven! Rav…!"
She wasn't imagining it. The wind was scrambling the sound but it was definitely Dexter's voice. He had come looking for her in this tempestuous storm. The thought made Raven's heart soar but at the same time made her inwardly flinch. She felt flattered that he came searching through the ice and snow for her but still felt anger and dread.
"Raven! Raven!" His voice was getting closer and he sounded worried.
Out of pure habit she yelled back. "Dexter, I'm over here!"
"Stay where you are! I'm coming!" He yelled.
Raven silently contemplated running off again. She could see a brilliant light shining from the direction where Dexter's voice had come from. Raven sighed. It wouldn't be fair. He was worried sick and scared out his mind for her. Soon enough she saw him. His hair was blowing in all directions, unlike hers that was in a ponytail, and covered in snow. He wore thick layers that were much thicker than Raven's. Dexter was beginning to look very much like a walking snow man. His feet were rooted in the depth of snow making anything below his knees non-existence. Had it really snowed that much?
"Raven!" Dexter sounded relieved. He quickly started dusting the snow out of her hair. "Thank goodness, you're alright."
Raven smiled despite herself. Just like Dexter to worry about her before himself. "I'm fine you worry wart. What about you? Why did you come? How did you find me?"
"Call me what you like I'm fine." Dexter hugged her. "You're freezing! Come on, let's get to the car."
Raven nodded. Dexter put his heavy jacket on her before grabbing her hand. The two of them walked on in silence. Not like there was much use in them talking, not with the wind roaring in their ears. Every few minutes Raven could hear Dexter muttering curses under his breath as the snow blinded him. He constantly took off his glasses and shook the snow off. Raven herself was having trouble seeing. She tried to see through her squinted eyes. Thank goodness Dexter had thought to bring a flashlight, otherwise they would have been wandering around blindly in the dark.
Finally they reached Dexter's car. A large, smooth, sleek Nissan Armada jeep. With an inaudible click. Dexter pulled open the navy blue door and ushered Raven inside hastily. After insuring she was inside safely he then took a seat in the driver's seat. Dexter turned on the car with a sigh. A wave of warmth washed over Raven. She sighed and took off Dexter's jacket flinging it into the backseat. Dexter's other jacket soon joined it.
"Warmth! Sweet wonderful warmth!" Dexter cried. He glanced at Raven and smiled. "There's the colour I love."
Raven gave a small laugh. Even though she had been aging well over the last few years, she never lost her pale skin and Dexter never missed a day for teasing her about it. She leaned across and gave him a peck on the cheek.
"I'll admit blue isn't my colour," Raven started.
"And just what is wrong with blue?" Dexter interjected playfully.
"But I love it on you." Raven finished with a smile.
Dexter smiled and shook his head. "Let's go home."
Raven quirked an eyebrow. "Are you sure we should try that? The storm is pretty bad."
"Why not?" Dexter sounded a bit unsure. "It's only ten minutes to drive home."
"If you're sure." Raven replied uneasily.
Dexter turned the key. The vehicle's powerful engine roared to life. Dexter flashed a small smile as his foot slowly eased on the gas pedal. Slowly the car moved forward plowing through the thick snow. Raven was amazed and proud. She had doubted him but he still tried anyway. It was only then she realized how much Dexter had changed. As a teen he wasn't buff like his brother or wasn't very good at charming the ladies. He wasn't athletic, he was basically the anti-Daring.
'Not now.' Raven thought.
Dexter now had an above average muscle built and no longer stuttered when trying to communicate with a female. True though, he was still more brain than brawn and geeky as ever but Raven couldn't love him less eve if she tried.
Wind shield wipers worked furiously removing the caked snow. Dexter was driving slowly and carefully across the dangerous terrain. His crystalline blue eyes stared fixated on the road. The twenty six year old was not going to lie. She loved waking to Dexter's eyes. She'd always feel incredibly lucky to wake up his face and a brief morning kiss. Dexter turned and grinned sheepishly.
"Raven, we need to talk." Dexter told her quietly.
Raven turned to face the window. All that greeted her was darkness tinging with sliver white flecks. "Is it a must?"
"Yes Rae." Dexter sighed. "You shouldn't feel…feel as if this is your fault."
Tears started to burn at Raven's eyes. "Can it wait until we get home?"
Dexter sent a quick glance at in her direction. "Of course."
The rest of the drive was spent in silence. Raven pressed her forehead against the window enjoying the cool sensation that came with it. She dreaded the talk to come. Dexter kept his gaze glued to the road. He knew the topic to come would upset her but it was something they seriously needed to talk about. To see her the way she was now hurt his heart and he wanted nothing more than to make her feel better but it was hard since she wouldn't open up.
He pulled up in front of their home which was barely visible. It was a medium sized modern two story house. Usually, when it wasn't covered in snow, it was olive green in colour with an off white trim and double front doors. Dexter turned to the back and grabbed his jacket from the back seat of the car. He draped it across her shoulder before getting out. Like a gentleman he opened and ushered her up the stairs. Raven and Dexter crowded around the mahogany doors as he fumbled with the key. Raven gently took the key from him and they entered.
They were instantly washed with a pleasant warmth. Raven dropped her Dexter's coat over a chair by the door. She took off her boots and left them by the door with Dexter on the mat. Raven padded down the hall in sock cladded to the kitchen. Raven went over to a cabinet above the counter where she grabbed two mugs. A black one with I heart NY and a white one with a company's logo on it. In all honesty she knew it was a company she had dealt with a while back but the name eluded her. Raven warmed the some hot chocolate Dexter had made earlier in the morning. With the mugs in hand she went off to the living room.
Firelight bathed the entire room. The fire cackled and hissed with merriment in the hearth of the fireplace. Dexter sat like a guru gazing deeply into a fire as if he was trying to figure out the secrets of life. Raven gave a small chuckle and sat beside him. She offered him a mug which he gladly accepted. Together Dexter and Raven sat enjoying the hot chocolate and the warmth from each other in silence. Dexter was the one to break the silence. He sighed and placed down his mug after a few minutes
"Rae, I know you-" Dexter started softly.
"No, its fine Dex." Raven replied quietly. She sounded almost bitter. "No use in trying to deny the inevitable. I know I cannot nor will ever have children. I'm barren."
"You do know it's not your fault." Dexter replied gently. He wrapped an arm around her. "It's not like you made yourself barren."
"I know but it's…" Raven sighed and rested her head on his shoulder. "It's difficult to explain."
"You won't know until you try." Dexter told her. "And if you don't then I can't understand until you try and I won't know how to help you."
Raven sighed. "To me it feels like… it's something I will miss out on. True women complain about pregnancy but it was always something I wanted to try for myself with my special someone," She got off Dexter's shoulder, "I wanted to try it with you. Now I never will. I guess I really wanted to be a mom."
Dexter put an arm around her again. "There are other ways Raven."
"I know Dexter!" Raven snapped. "It just seems as if it won't really be ours."
Dexter pulled Raven into a hug and Raven leaned into his comfort. Both of them stared into the fire. The embers glowed a bright red, the fire made a loud popping sound. Raven started to rub her eyes furiously. No, she wasn't going to cry. Not again. She buried her face into Dexter's shoulder as the tears stung and burned her eyes. The dam of tears broke. Dexter felt his shoulder begin to dampen. He sighed sympathetically and stroked her hair. He knew Raven didn't like to burden people with her problems and he knew she most certainly hated to be pitied. He also knew that in this moment Raven was trying to be strong but for him or herself?
Dexter gently raised her head. Raven hastily rubbed her eyes.
"Rae, our child doesn't have to be of our own flesh and blood. Any child that we take into our home, into our hearts, raise and love unconditionally is uniquely ours and no one else's. No amount of blood can take away pure love."
Raven gave a small laugh and a watery smile. "When did you become so good with words?"
Dexter blushed intensely. "I don't know… I-I-I-I haven't-"
Dexter started to stutter insistently as he got more and more flustered. Raven started to laugh. It brought her comfort that some of the old adorkable Dexter was still left in the new matured Dexter. Dexter stopped and stared at her. A smile began to grace his lips. It had been a while since Raven had last genuinely laughed. Dexter missed it. He didn't want her polite laugh, a company laugh or an awkward laugh. He wanted the laugh that sounded as if she stole an angel's laugh. Raven laughter began to die down.
"You did that on purpose!" Dexter acussed teasingly. He poke her in the side for emphasis.
"No, but it was a good coincidence." Raven was giggling now. The ticklish girl slapped away Dexter's prodding. "Thanks for that."
Dexter shook his head giving her a smile. Soon the jovial mood died to a more somber mood though it was a lot happier than before. Peaceful, happy smiles overcame their faces as they sat. Dexter pulled Raven closer to him gently and rested his head on hers. Raven in turn rested hers on his shoulder.
"I do understand what you mean Dexter. In a way." Raven told him softly. "I'm willing to try and see where it goes if you are."
Dexter hugged Raven. He buried his face in her hair. From that very first day he still loved that black cherry and vanilla scent she always possessed. He had no idea how she did it. She didn't even use any body products using the scents. To be honest he didn't care either.
"I know you are Rae." Dexter whispered.
From behind them the clock struck twelve. The fire was burning a lot lower than when it started out in its hearth. The dying flame sent the dark shadows dancing across the room. The howls of the wind outside began to die. The sounds of the storm began to become softer and less violent. Raven turned to Dexter with a small smile. She gave him a gentle peck on the cheek.
"It seems its becoming a tradition." Raven commented.
"Then I think we both know where this is going to go." Dexter replied with a smile.
Their lips met. Raven had always marveled how Dexter would kiss with such gentleness veiled from the fiery passion he poured into it. She slowly started to go towards the ground. Dexter pressed his lips against her savoring the softness and warmth that came with her. Greedily he breathed in her delicious scent. Raven's arms went around her husband as she held on for support. Both their eyes were closed. Eventually they landed on the floor gently. Dexter's body pressed against Raven's gently. Raven could taste the chocolate and spices on his breath. The two of them pulled apart. Both were quietly panting. Dexter smiled down at Raven and nibbled her in the neck. She giggled and pushed him off.
"It's definitely a tradition we're keeping." Raven smiled.
Dexter laughed. "Raven, I love you. I really do."
Raven snuggled close to his. The fire had finally died down to a few glowing embers. The room was now in darkness and slightly cold. Raven didn't mind. Dexter produced more than enough body heat for them both. She buried her face into his chest.
"I know Dexter. I love you too, merry Christmas." Raven replied.
"Merry Christmas Rae."
AN: So guys here's a sequel to Because of You, another Christmas fic. I hope I didn't disappoint this year, please tell me if I did or did not with a review please. Thanks for reading. Continue to enjoy your day. Happy Holidays!
Arctica Ice