Disclaimer: This is for the whole story. I do not own Twilight or any of its characters. I am just having fun putting them through hell.

Chapter 1

Would She Really Do that?

Edward's POV

Jasper's left arm was squirming on floor. You could see his bone sticking out of the end. I was laughing hysterically. Jasper gets on his knees trying to get a hold of his twitching arm.

"God damn it Edward, what the hell were you thinking!? I was just kidding with you!" Jasper muttered still trying to grab hold of his arm. The venom was everywhere now.

Now I have to clean it up, but it was totally worth it.

Finally Jasper tackles his arm to the floor, as if he was handling an animal he wanted for lunch. I laughed even harder as he put his arm back on. That's when I glanced over at Alice. She didn't seem too happy. She kind of looked like she wanted ME for lunch. I walked over about to tell her that he deserved it, but her face expression scared me too much. I sat down over at the table acting as if nothing ever happened, but I couldn't help but read her mind.

Oh my god.

Her thoughts were terrible. Alice wanted to rip me in half, literally. She thought about jumping on top of me with her legs wrapped around my waist while she used her nails to pull my head in two different directions. She was then thinking about ripping me until I was completely in half. I shivered and my breath started coming faster. She wouldn't stop playing it over and over and over again!

Oh my god, oh my god, OH MY GOD!

I started looking around in all directions making sure no one was coming after me.

Do you think she will do it?No she won't, she wouldn't do that to her own brother, but then again… I ripped her husband's arm off…

Whoa, what was that!?

I turn around suddenly looking around the room. I looked under my chair, the table, and outside the window. No one was there. I sighed while still looking out the window. Alice and Jasper have gone up stairs to do whatever.

"AH!!" I screamed as a bird just hit the window.

What the hell? Birds can be so stupid! Why would they want to scare me like that?? It didn't do it on purpose. Did it? No, no. It probably just…thought the window was open or something…

The venom was still on the floor. I went to the cupboard and got a towel to clean it up. I got on my hands and knees making sure that everything was gone. Satisfied, I walked up the stairs to go to my room.

What was that noise?

I turned around. No one was there. I kept climbing the stairs slow enough so I could listen better.

There was that noise again!

I turned around once again. No one. I bolted up the stairs acting as if I was being chased. I got to my room and shut my door.

Not that it would stop her.