"I don't understand what I'm doing wrong!" James said, flopping down on his bed and dramatically throwing his hands above his head in what he assumed was a dramatically morose pose – although the effect was somewhat diminished by the fact that he hit his hand on the bedpost. "It was romantic! There was no reason for her to hex me."

"I don't think it was the flowers that she had a problem with, James," Remus said dryly. "It was probably more due to the fact that you strung Snape up by his ankles to give them to her."

"I was doing her a favour," James said grumpily.

"That's not how she sees it," Remus said, crossing out a whole two lines of Sirius's essay. "Padfoot, since when have goblins had their own country?"

"What?" Sirius asked. "Where did I put that?"

"The goblin nation disbanded their army in 1749 after a treaty with Spain," Remus read out wearily. "I think you might have meant Polish."

"Probably," Sirius said lazily.

Remus sighed. "Don't suppose you spot anything else wrong with that sentence, do you?" he asked patiently.

"Nope."

"You're date's off by almost a century."

"See, this is why you check over my essay."

"Sirius, I'm almost writing you're essay. At this point, I've spent more time on it than you have."

"Well you wouldn't have to if you'd just let me copy you."

"As fascinating as Sirius's lack of dedication to his schoolwork is," James interrupted, "I think we should be giving more thought to my plight."

"You can't get a girl because she thinks you're an insensitive prat," Sirius says, enchanting a paper dart to zoom around their dormitory. "What's to think about?"

James threw a book at him.

"If you want to get anywhere with Lily, how about you stop hexing her friends," Remus suggested as the dart repeatedly nudged him in the head. "Sirius, do you want me to write this for you or not?"

"You make that sound as though I haven't put a lot of effort into that essay," Sirius said indignantly.

"You haven't."

"Fair enough."

"What do you mean, hexing her friends?" James asked. "I don't hex her friends!"

"You hex Snape all the time!" Remus exclaimed.

"He doesn't count."

"He does to Lily. She'll never give you a chance if you refuse to stop picking on him."

"What makes you such an expert?" James demanded. "If you know so much about girls, how come you don't have a girlfriend?"

Remus sighed and put down the parchment. "You wanted advice," he told his friend. "Don't complain when I give it to you. Sirius, you're essay's done but you'll need to rewrite it."

"Thanks Moony," Sirius said, grinning at his friend as Remus handed his essay back to him. "Where are you going?"

"Library," Remus said, slinging his bag over his shoulder before marching out. The door swung shut behind him with a snap.

"I think you offended him," Sirius commented, using his wand to direct his dart towards James's head.

"Well he doesn't have a girlfriend," James said, swatting the dart away only for it to come in for another attack.

"Yeah, but I don't think it's 'coz he can't get one," Sirius pointed out. "In fact, I bet Lily would go out with him if he asked her."

"What? No way!" James exclaimed. "She wouldn't say yes to Remus. Would she?" He sounded uncertain now.

"She certainly talks to him more than she does to you," Sirius pointed out. "Who knows? Maybe she finds bookish, nerdy, quiet, stick-thin werewolves attractive- Hey!" He let out an exclamation as James picked up his wand and set fire to his dart. "There was no need to do that!"

"There was every need."

James tried to put Sirius's comments out of his head but he realised he was failing miserably at this when he caught himself watching Remus and Lily closely whenever they sat together in class. Several times he tried to overhear their conversation without consciously doing so and eventually he resigned himself to just hiding his newfound suspicions from his friend.

But these observations came with increased awareness for everything the pair did together. And he had to wonder whether Lily had always spoken to Remus so much or whether it was a recent development.

Every time Remus left the Marauders to go to the library, James wondered whether he was meeting Lily there. There would be times Remus would disappear with no explanation whatsoever and afterwards he was always vague about where he'd been. One time James got paranoid enough to look for him in the library, and when he asked Remus about it later, the werewolf had told James he just hadn't been looking hard enough.

He'd thought he'd been being subtle with his almost-stalkerish watching but he realised he might have been mistaken when Sirius asked him why he was watching Remus so much. "Anyone would think you have a crush on him, Prongs," the other boy laughed.

"Ha ha, very funny," James said sarcastically, before returning to glowering at his teacup which refused to do a tango no matter how much effort he put into his spell.

"What, no witty retort? No sharp retaliation?" Sirius asked, faking incredulity. "You must really be in love with him!"

"I think Moony's in a relationship with Lily!" The words burst out of James's mouth before he could stop them. Thankfully, he didn't say them very loud; only Sirius could hear him.

To his surprise, Sirius just laughed. "What?" James demanded defensively. "It's not a laughing matter!"

"What, seriously?" Sirius asked, still chuckling. "You think our Moony is dating Lily behind your back? Do you not know him at all?"

"Where is he all the time, then, when he isn't with us?" James demanded.

"I don't know," Sirius said. "Studying, probably."

"He used to do that in the dormitory."

"Yes, and we used to turn his chair into a golden retriever just to get a reaction from him. I'm not surprised he's moved to the library."

"He can't be in there all the time!" James exclaimed, refusing to let go of his theory. "He'd turn into a book!"

"Well, he has been looking different recently…"

"Be serious, Padfoot!" James demanded.

"I'm always Sirius," Sirius grinned. James had to resist the urge to hex him.

"You watch!" James said. "There's something going on with Moony, and I intend to find out what!"

He was true to his word; if he'd watched Moony like a hawk before, he increased his scrutiny to a muggle scientist watching ants under a magnifying glass. He inwardly noted every time Remus was avoiding spending time with the Marauders like it was a clue in a murder trial. He would have pointed them out to Sirius each time, but more often than not the animagus was also missing.

And he made good use of the tools at his disposal. The Marauder's Map was never far from his mind or his reach; he always knew whereabouts in the dormitory it was and occasionally he smuggled it out in his bag. Smuggling was necessary; he didn't want the other Marauder's to know why he needed it. Somehow he thought his Remus-stalking would meet with disapproval

"This is getting ridiculous!" Sirius told James one day in the dormitory as James related his (lack of) findings to him. "If you're so suspicious, why don't you just ask Moony outright?"

"Because he'd lie," James said. He'd already considered that option and had decided against it. He didn't want to let Remus know he was onto him.

"This whole thing's stupid," Sirius said. "You're way too paranoid. If Lily's secretly dating anyone, it'll be Snivellus."

"She wouldn't." James dismissed the idea instantly. Not only was it repulsive, it was also unlikely. "She's way too good for him."

"She's friends with him, isn't she?"

"She was," James said. "They don't seem so close at the moment."

"My point still stands, James," Sirius said. "I really don't think Moony and Lily are secretly dating."

"Where is he now, then?" James asked.

"Probably the library," Sirius said, shrugging.

"Let's test that theory, shall we?" James said, crossing over to where his bag was and pulling the map from it.

"You had it in your bag?" Sirius asked, raising one eyebrow eloquently in an expression only he could pull off. "That's… creepy. Haven't you ever heard of privacy?" James ignored him and began searching the map for Remus. His curiosity got the better of him; Sirius joined him.

"Aha!" he exclaimed, pointing at the map. "He is in the library!"

"Yeah," James replied, not sounding very happy about that fact. "And look who's sitting next to him." He pointed to a dot labelled 'Lily Evans'.

"That doesn't mean anything," Sirius argued. "They're probably just studying."

James gave him a look that clearly expressed his opinion on the matter. Sirius's brow furrowed.

"James, don't take this the wrong way," he said seriously. "But so what if they are shagging? It's not like she's cheating on you; she can't even stand to be near you. You don't really have a claim on her."

James opened his mouth to argue and then closed it. "Moony knows how I feel about her," he said eventually.

"What if he feels that way too?" Sirius challenged. "Why do you get to go after her and not him?"

"Because he's going behind our backs!" James exclaimed. "If he fancies her, he should at least tell me! Even if it isn't Lily he's dating, he should still tell us if he's going out with someone! How would you feel if I didn't tell you I was going out with someone?"

A strange expression flickered across Sirius's face. "If he is going out with someone and not telling us, isn't that his business?"

"Not if it's Lily, it's not," James said stubbornly.

Sirius rolled his eyes. "You didn't listen to a word I just said, did you?" he asked.

"I did," James said. "It doesn't mean I have to follow it like it's gospel." His eyes strayed back to the parchment lying spread out on the bed between them.

"Well you can't prove anything anyway," Sirius said. "So it doesn't matter. You'll just have to trust that Remus isn't shagging Lily."

"Yeah," James said, thinking quickly. "Maybe…"

"What's that look for?" Sirius said, recognising the I've-just-had-a-mad-but-brilliant-idea expression that crossed his friend's face.

"What if I could find out?" James said, reaching under his bed and pulling out the invisibility cloak.

"James, no," Sirius protested. "If stalking him using the map is unethical, following him around is definitely wrong."

"It'll just be to put my mind at rest," James reasoned. "What harm can it do?"

"I think it's the principle of the situation," Sirius said.

James scoffed. "Since when have you had morals?"

"I'll tell Remus," Sirius said. "You can't start following him around."

"I won't," James said. "Just… just once. Just to make sure."

"No, James," Sirius said firmly. "How would you like it if it was you who was being followed?"

"Well I don't have anything to hide, do I?" James said.

"Maybe Remus is hiding something," Sirius argued, "but I don't think it's a relationship with Lily. And if you're the friend you claim to be, you'll let him keep his secret."

"If he was the friend he claimed to be, he'd tell us!" James exclaimed.

"Things aren't always so simple," Sirius said. "Like when he was hiding that he was a werewolf. He was right to keep that secret, wasn't he?"

"But not from us," James said. "Come on, Sirius, just let me go and have a look. If nothing happens between him and Lily while I'm watching, I'll drop the whole thing. And besides," he added, and Sirius opened his mouth. "I took that detention for you last week. You owe me."

Sirius sighed. "Fine," he relented, "but we're even then."

"Sure!" James exclaimed, already disappearing beneath the cloak. "Anything you say."

"And if nothing happens, you have to leave him alone!" Sirius added, but he could already hear James's footsteps hurrying away.

James quickly discovered that surveillance was boring. He sat on the floor of the library, covered in the cloak, peering at Lily and Remus through the shelves. It was already dark; they were studying by candlelight at this point, and the library was almost due to close. He'd half-expected to walk into the library and find them huddled away in some corner kissing. When that didn't happen, he reasoned that was a stupid expectation. It was Lily and Remus; he'd have to watch and listen for a longer period of time to catch them at anything.

Their conversation was much less interesting than James would have hoped.

He sat there for almost an hour as they discussed their teachers and the Hogsmeade weekend and the latest Death Eater killings. They talked about some muggle things that James didn't really know anything about and they talked about Lily's sister. James was just about to give up and leave when the conversation turned to him.

"I don't know why you hang out with them, Remus," Lily said. "They're jerks."

"You haven't given them a chance, Lils," Remus replied. From his tone, James guessed they'd had this conversation many times before. "They're really nice when you get to know them."

"They don't seem nice," Lily said.

"Well they are." Remus's voice was firm. "If you'd just-"

"You're not going to try and convince me to be nice to Potter again, are you?" Lily said. James's ears perked up.

"I think that you'd like him if you got to know him," Remus said. "He likes you, you know."

James immediately felt guilty for listening in on their conversation. Not only had Remus and Lily shown no signs of being in a secret relationship, it appeared Remus had been trying to talk James up to Lily.

"I know he does," Lily said as James began to wriggle away from the bookcase. "That doesn't mean I should go out with him." Then, she added so softly that James almost missed it, "Besides, he's not you."

James froze. That sounded suspiciously like…

"Lily…" Remus said.

"I know, I know," Lily said before Remus could continue. "We've already had this conversation. You don't need to tell me again."

James's mind was racing. Did Lily like Remus? Had they been in a relationship previously? Why had Remus not told James if it had just been that Lily had unrequited feelings for him?

"Lily, you're beautiful," Remus said. "And funny and smart and kind and everything that makes me think you're wonderful." James had to resist the urge to stride out there and punch his friend. He was practically hitting on her! "You know that. If I was going to date any girl, I'm sure it'd be you."

James restrained himself. Nothing was happening between them, he reminded himself. Lily wasn't secretly in a relationship with Remus.

'Although it's not because she doesn't want to be, by the sounds of it,' a snide voice in James's mind whispered. He ignored it.

The important thing was that Remus was not going behind James's back. It did break his heart a little to know Lily liked someone else… but he could always change her mind. She wouldn't like Remus forever, and surely James could convince her that he was the better option?

Feeling bad for not trusting Remus more, James began to retreat once more. Like the last time, however, he was stopped by Lily's next sentence.

"Thanks," she said. "For being so nice about it. Black is a lucky guy."

Even through the shelves, James could see Remus's blush. Surely she didn't mean…?

"Yeah, well, he's also an unappreciative one," Remus grumbled. "His essays are shocking. I always have to rewrite them for him, and he just expects me to do it. And he leaves them until the last minute."

Lily laughed. "But you love him anyway," she said, a small smile on her face – the same smile girl's got when they looked a litter of new-born puppies.

"Yeah," Remus said softly.

Okay, so maybe Moony was as gay as a daffodil. That was surprising news. Although, James thought, it certainly explained how he could resist the charms of the beautiful Lily Evans.

And he liked Sirius. James wondered whether he should tell the other boy; he didn't want to make things awkward between the two of them, but it seemed like something Sirius should know.

"When are you two going to tell Potter?" Lily asked. "You've been dating for months now."

James spluttered, almost giving the game away. Thankfully he wasn't close enough for the two to hear him.

He decided it was definitely time he left, before he overheard anything else he didn't particularly want to know.

Sirius was waiting for him when he returned to the dormitory. "Are you satisfied now?" he demanded. "Are you convinced that Remus isn't dating Lily behind your back?"

Suddenly, it all made sense to James. That's why Sirius had been so sure Remus wasn't dating Lily. That's why he'd never been around to point out that Remus had gone AWOL again.

That's where Remus had been going without telling anyone.

"Are you alright, mate?" Sirius asked as James remained silent. "You look like you've seen Death."

"I'm fine," James said. "I just overheard an… interesting conversation. Is there something you want to tell me?"

James was satisfied to see Sirius's complexion pale dramatically. "I wanked into your sock the other day," Sirius said, faking calmness. "Now that you mention it. I didn't think you'd want to know."

James wrinkled his nose. "I really didn't," he said. "Although I'm surprised you needed to wank at all. Or was someone helping you?" He sent Sirius a pointed look.

"James…" Sirius said.

"Three weeks!" James yelled, before Sirius could finish his sentence. "Three weeks I've been watching Moony like some sort of stalker, trying to catch him out with Lily! I've lost sleep over this! And all that time, all you had to say was "It's okay, James, I know Moony isn't banging the girl you like because he's too busy banging me!""

"That's your issue?" Sirius demanded incredulously.

"Well, I'm a little insulted you didn't tell me," James said. "But that's all it would have taken and my mind would have been set at ease!"

"I'm so sorry to inconvenience you," Sirius replied sarcastically. "However will you forgive me?"

"With difficultly," James said. "Also, did you know you have competition?"

"I have no competition," Sirius said loftily. "No one else can match my charm or good looks. Not even you, James-my-boy."

"Or your modesty," James added dryly. "Remus is right; you are a prat sometimes. I can't imagine why he would put up with you."

"I'm brilliant in bed," Sirius said, winking.

"I didn't need to know that either, Padfoot."