That Ain't My Truck, a janet evanovich fanfic

A/N: Has Stephanie finally made a decision between Ranger and Morelli? Song-fic to "That Ain't My Truck" by Rhett Akins. Mostly, I heard this song on the radio and went, "I have to write something with this song" and this is the result. Cupcake.

Stephanie Plum has a knack for getting men in trouble. For the last several years, she's been a pain in my ass, but always good for a laugh. She blows up my cars, she's a huge drain on funds, she regularly needs me to save her, and she occasionally ends up in my bed- just not usually in the good way. Yet through all of this, I've found myself completely in love with her.

That's a big problem considering she's in love with Trenton cop Joe Morelli. She's in love with me too, but I'm not exactly the type of guy you marry if you want to be able to roll over in the morning and see me lying there. My job gives me pretty irregular hours, co-owning a security company, Rangeman, will do that to a guy. An alarm goes off in the middle of the night for one of the places my men and I do security for and I get a call. This is what I'm good at, it's what I do.

Despite this, I'm still hoping she's going to one day choose me. Stephanie doesn't exactly have the sanest job or a regular schedule either, so she wouldn't have much room to talk. Then there's Morelli. Morelli is a good cop, and a good man, don't get me wrong. But he's just not right for her. They've known each other since they were kids and have been on-again, off-again for years. If you're off-again that much, doesn't it mean you really aren't meant to be together? I come with a lot less hassle for her.

As it turns out, one day may not be too far off. Stephanie called me the other day for information and it sounded like she'd been crying. I got her to spill that she and Joe had had a fight and he had given her an ultimatum about him or me. She had to decide. Soon. Tonight. I hadn't heard from her all day so I was headed over to her place.

She's been goin' out with him

She's been goin' out with me

Said she'd let us know by tonight

Which one it would be

So I waited by the phone

But she never called me up

Had to know what was goin' on

So, I drove by her house - and sure enough

Sonovabitch. Morelli's truck is in her parking lot. After years of breaking into her apartment for her and checking the windows for fire or intruder before going in, I know which window is hers pretty well.

That ain't my truck in her drive

Man this ain't my day tonight

Looks like she's in love and I'm out of luck

That ain't my shadow on her wall

Lord this don't look good at all

That's my girl - my whole world

But that ain't my truck

I can see her shadow and I can also see his. I'm hoping they're having a fight. Maybe she chose me and she's breaking it to him. No, he doesn't look angry or defeated, he looks- I'm out of here. I started my Porsche and drove away

I pulled over by the curb

I've been sittin' here all night

Wonderin' what it was I did so wrong

That he did so right

I've thought of breakin' down her door

But there's nothin' left to say

That chevy four-by-four

Says it all sittin' in my place

Morelli. She chose Morelli. Babe. How could you? She's always complaining about how hot-headed he is. They broke up over a jar of peanut butter one time for goodness sake. Shit! They are always fighting. Why would she choose him? I should just go back there and bust her door clean off its hinges. What would that prove? That I have just as much of a temper? It's not about what he has that I don't, it's about who he is that I'm not. Deep down, she's still from the Burg.

No matter how much Stephanie may want to deny her Burg heritage, I know she still wants that house, husband, and kids. It's how she was raised and she can't escape that. I can give her something close, but Morelli's also from the Burg. He can actually give it to her.

My phone started Buzzing. Rangeman control room. Shit. They're probably wondering what the hell I'm doing parked about a mile from Stephanie's apartment with the engine running. "Yo."

"Boss? Everything okay? Do you need back-up?"

Tank. Good old Tank. "I'm fine here." I disconnected and threw the phone in the passenger seat. Or at least if I'm not fine right now, I will be.

Maybe this is for the best. Maybe Stephanie does know what she's doing. If Morelli screws up, I'll still be here.