Hello, my loyal subjects. As you know, Equestria is in a civil war. However, news from the east tells me that it is worse than we believed. There are more groups rising to oppose us! I hear of a rebellion in the west, and a sort of peace corps a little south of Ponyville! This is outrage! How many must disrespect their rightful ruler with this rubbish? I am the rightful queen of Equestria, and I will be it's sole ruler!
First, we'll take Ponyville. I'm certain my faithful student Twilight can help with this. But we must move fast. Lunar troops are already moving in. Next, we shall hold our ground! We will not surrender to a few weak groups of moon-lovers, rebels, and hippies! Besides, we have Princess Twilight, and, though sadly many of her friends have already betrayed us, the Apple family still stands alongside us. I'll tell you now, I have hired a mercinary squad to fight beside us. Things might get ugly, and these P.A.R.T.Y. guys are professionals. I myself will lead us into battle. Little Lulu will never stand a chance! Now, head out! We're off to Ponyville!