*All original twilight characters, storylines, etc all belong to Stephenie Meyer, I just enjoy playing with all of the characters, creating my own ideas and point-of-views.

* This story is rated M as there will be mature themes discussed although I am unsure at this point how detailed they will be, the original is extremely detailed although I may tone it down and change it to a T rating as I update this in the future.

This entire story is in Esme's Point of View for something different.

"We need to go back for her Carlisle." I whispered softly to my husband as we lay in our bed, watching the sun float across, eventually setting and marking the end of another day.

"You know that we can't do that Esme, we promised him and I can't go against what I told him, no matter how much it pains me." It was his usual reply and although I knew he was as torn as Alice and I, it hurt to know that he had given in to Edward's selfish behavior this time.

I know what we promised him Carlisle, but I can't do it anymore... she's one of us and I can't let her go." I could hear myself pleading with him to understand and I knew in a way that he did, but Edward was his first companion to this life, he would never betray his promise to him.

"I'm sorry Esme." he sounded like he was choking back his own sobs, I knew that he hated to deny me anything and this was truly tearing our family apart.

We spent several hours like this, locked in each other's arms, nothing that either of us could say to change the deadlock that we were currently in.

By the time that dawn arrived I couldn't take it anymore and I told the man that I loved that I needed to be alone, something that I had rarely needed since the night he had first found me. I could see the hurt wash across his face but of course he respected my request and released me from his arms, my body instantly giving in to the need to flee the house and be left to my own thoughts and feelings.

I ran south through the trees, my feet not stopping until I reached the small cave that I had found just after arriving back here to Alaska. It was just deep enough for me to sit inside, shadowed away from the rest of the world and allow my mind to wander... thinking about this... life.

For the first time that I could remember I was truly angry with my family. We had left Forks just over six months ago as per Edward's request, following her disastrous 18th birthday party.

When I had first entered into this world I was born into a ready-made family of sorts. Carlisle was my husband and Edward although created before me was my son in every sense of the word. As our family grew, each of the 'children' held a special place in my heart. Oh, I knew they weren't really children any longer, and even with Edward at first he had never been a child, had never thought like the seventeen year old he actually was; but after being in this role for so long and especially with the addition of the foster parent facade, we had all fallen into our roles completely.

The problem now was that Bella had also found a place in our family, fallen naturally into the role of my daughter, perhaps even more so than the others had.

Since the first day that Edward had brought her home to meet us, I had known that she was the missing piece to our family and I had fallen in love with her as my daughter. She, like Edward was mature for her years, but was also still a child and the need to protect her, to teach her, and to guide her had grown instantly in my heart.

We had left her though. WE had thought of her as our family... our child... and we had left her without so much as a good-bye. What kind of a parent was I? What had we done to that poor girl?

My thoughts shifted direction and I thought back to my first child, my perfect baby boy who had died after only days in this world and my heart ached to see him again. I felt the pain double at the loss of Bella from our family, my second human child to be taken from me and I felt the same push that had consumed me all those years ago, that had driven me to the edge of the rocky cliff. For a brief moment and I allowed various scenarios to run rampant through my mind, ways to end this existence, ways to stop the pain of being separated from my children.

"Esme... please don't." Carlisle's pleading voice pulled me from my thoughts and I stared through the darkness of the cave, searching for his face. I smiled weakly up at him, the sight of him pushing those thoughts away. Looking past him I saw that the remaining members of the family were all standing in the mouth of the cave, their faces showing their concern. But two were missing. Edward and Bella weren't there.

"I'm sorry... they were just memories... not decisions." I tried to explain, realizing that Alice had seen my ideas and I must have worried them all with what she had seen.

"Tell me what to do. What can I possibly do to make this better for you Esme?" Carlisle begged me and I felt the venom pool in my eyes, tears that would never fall, as he crawled in and sat next to me.

"I need to go back for her. She belongs here with us." My voice was shaking and I fingered the pendant that I wore absently. The pendant was identical to the one that we all had, to the one we'd had made for Bella just before we left, the one that identified us all as Cullens, as family.

"We all need to go back for her." The rest of the family was now sitting with us in the mouth of the cave and we all turned to stare in shock at Rosalie's words. She didn't say anything further and instead shrugged her shoulders.

"I agree." Jasper's words were also surprising to us and I looked to him for an explanation. Him and Rosalie had been the two family members that had stubbornly sided with Edward in the decision to leave Forks in the first place.

"The family is broken without her. Our emotional bonds are breaking as pain and loss are growing, moving in and taking over. We all know that when we love as vampires, we don't let go and it doesn't change. I think we forgot that it isn't just the love between mates that is permanent, but also the love among a family. We all love Bella, she's a Cullen." Jasper explained and I smiled at him thankfully.

"I say we go back." Emmett agreed cautiously, not wanting to get his hopes up in case we didn't go back. Leaving Bella had been almost as hard on him as it had on Alice and I.

"I agree, this is getting out of hand. Edward will be extremely upset with all of us but I don't see another option. Hopefully it will force Edward to come to his senses and return to her if she will have him." Carlisle spoke up and squeezed my hand. I smiled up at him and we all turned to look at Alice, waiting for her input.

"What's the matter sweetheart?" Jasper prompted when we saw the familiar glazed-over expression on her face.

"I can't find her." she squeaked out, her expression horrified.

"I can't find her... Bella's gone." she said again locking eyes with me as I felt the panic begin to rise up in my chest.