Summary:
Don't imagine Cas being kidnapped by a Djinn.
Don't imagine Sam being the one who goes inside his head to save him and finding that Cas's dream world is living a normal life with Dean.
Don't imagine them all hanging out and when Dean finally leaves them alone for five minutes Sam trying to explain to Cas that this isn't real and Cas saying "I know."
Don't imagine Cas clinging to the Djinn Dean, begging Sam not to take him back.
Don't imagine Cas waking up and Dean yelling at him for letting the Djinn get the drop on him.
Don't imagine neither if them telling Dean what happened.
Don't imagine the sadness Sam would see on Cas's face everyday from then on and the pain when Dean goes home with random women.
Just don't do it.
This work is currently looking for a beta reader
Notes: For YamiAki96.
Based on the prompt by the wonderful YamiAki96. Also thanks to my amazing beta reader Courtney for making this as good as it is.
This story was not only a hobby, but it served as an escape from my daily stress.
I hope you enjoy this story as much as I enjoyed writing it.
-Lots of love Alex
So, get this, missing people reports had increased in Illinois over the last couple of months. Sam and Dean had worked a case on a Djinn back in 2007, it wouldn't be so unusual for another Djinn to loom over the area once again. An ex-angel could easily take care of it while the boys were off taking care of a vampire nest along with some other hunters.
Cas hadn't gone with them due to the fact that Cas had woken up alone in the bunker to a note on the fridge.
Hey Cas.
Vampire nest in St. Louis.
Meeting other hunters there.
Chinese leftovers in the fridge.
-Dean
Ever since Cas had lost his Grace, the Winchesters had granted Cas a place to stay, if he needed it. They had cleaned up a room in between Dean's and Sam's to keep him safely flanked by hunters. They had shown him how to re-heat food in the microwave and how to fake credit cards to go shopping. They had never actually taken him out shopping; he once went to Walmart to get some pants and shirts but everyone had looked at him weirdly when he obviously hesitated to pick a pair of jeans. He ended up buying three pairs (that miraculously fit him when he tried them on at the bunker) and a few random T-shirts and long sleeved shirts that he thought Dean or Sam might buy for themselves.
The guys didn't realize how big of a gesture it had been for Cas, who had struggled with his humanity, to have a small sense of stability in the form of a roof above his head and food. His first graceless days had been the worst. He couldn't understand why he couldn't control his feelings, they were too strong, too real. He had cried while watching a children's movie about a lion and freaked out when he realized.
He had asked Dean about that. Dean had explained the relationship between tears and emotions while sporting a grimace that made it seem like he was being tortured for information.
Humans are the only beings who can feel utter joy and happiness, which came with the price of being able to feel sadness and crippling pain. Castiel had always known this, but now he understood it.
He sighed and started packing the clothes Sam and Dean had gotten for him from goodwill and Walmart. He had kept a grey AC/DC shirt that Dean had given him the first night he stayed in the bunker. His chest felt warm every time he put the too big garment on.
He packed whatever few belongings he deemed important enough to take with him and the one's he had seen Sam and Dean carry with them on hunting trips. He scouted the area the way Sam showed him using Google maps to find places that a Djinn would consider keeping its victims in. He marked several abandoned warehouses and rundown buildings in Illinois that he would go and take a look at before calling Sam and Dean.
This wouldn't be his first solo hunt since he became a human, nor the first he didn't tell the boys about. They probably didn't care anyway.
He decided against calling them and instead left a note on the fridge.
Sam and Dean,
I'm hunting a Djinn in Illinois.
-Castiel
He frowned at the note and wrote down the date just in case they wondered when he left the bunker.
He carried the old duffel that once belonged to Sam and stuck it in the trunk of his Lincoln (or pimp car as Dean called). He had already looked for a motel in the Illinois phone book that he found in the bunker's library. He picked the third motel and called before he arrived to book a room under the name Robert Plant. Dean would be proud of him for remembering the Winchester's code for finding lodging.
In exactly 8 hours and 53 minutes, he was settling down in his room near the fire exit.
He had placed his printed maps on the coffee table and started working on his research.
The latest kidnapping had been a college girl. A witness claimed to have seen a heavily tattooed man shoving the girl into a white van. The witness has also mentioned the use of a blue powder that knocked the girl unconscious. He guessed it had to be the Djinn's hands that had glowed blue when he touched the girl to knock her out. People tend to see what they want to see.
He investigated what antidote was used against the Djinn's poison and started preparing some shots to take with him. He would scout the area and only stop when his new hunger told him to stop. He barely checked out one warehouse before he found himself in a Biggerson's.
"Nice coat."
"Excuse me?" Cas turned to look at his waitress with a frown on his face. The first thing he noticed were her green eyes and freckles that reminded him too much of someone else.
"I said it was a nice coat, not sure it matches with the rest of the outfit though." She smiled and pointed at his jeans and green T-shirt.
Cas had stopped using his suit constantly for fear of ruining it in a fight. He saved his suit for when he needed to play FBI along with the Winchesters or by himself. The coat, he couldn't part with.
"I'm not quite so good at getting dressed." Cas looked down as the waitress filled his cup with coffee.
"Hmm, how about getting undressed?" The blonde waitress winked and bit her lip suggestively. Cas frowned in confusion and tilted his head. Why would that be an important skill?
There was an awkward pause where the waitress slowly became more and more embarrassed until she lowered her head in shame. She shifted nervously on her feet and cleared her throat.
"Uhh… I'm… I'm sorry sir." The waitress blushed and left the bill on his table before running away.
Cas turned in his seat and continued frowning all the way from the dinner to his motel. He considered texting Dean and asking him what that was all about. Dean would understand, he always understands people.
He decided against it, Dean wasn't patient with him anymore. Cas refrained from asking him about human stuff like this ever since Dean snapped at him for not knowing how to clean a gun correctly.
He checked out a rundown building that turned out to be connected with two more buildings that served as several office buildings; but found nothing. He returned to his car and drove to the motel where he changed into Dean's shirt and and a new pair of pants.
He laid awake and stared at the brown curtains. One of his hands clutched at his chest, fingers wrapped tightly around the soft fabric. There worst part of sleeping had always been falling asleep. Back when he was homeless he had fallen asleep out of hunger and fatigue, when he was being housed along with other homeless people in a church he had stayed awake until his body shut down on its own.
He had eventually discovered that the best way to fall asleep was not thinking, but wasn't thinking about not thinking considered thinking?
Cas spent half an hour just questioning everything he knew about sleeping until he switched gears to the case and fell asleep around 1 am.
He woke up around 10, ate a cheeseburger he had bought yesterday and drank coffee to wake up fully. He could almost hear Sam groaning about his choice of breakfast. Cas got his keys and the map he had marked earlier and took off to the closest warehouse with his angel blade safely tucked inside his trench coat.
The first four warehouses were free of any supernatural activity. The fifth one, not so much.
The door of the old warehouse that had been used to store paint buckets was unlocked and slightly ajar. The ground had the look of someone trying to wipe away any footsteps with a broomstick. Cas rolled his eyes at the obvious attempt. Not even he was that much of an idiot.
He nudged open the door slowly to keep the hinges from announcing his arrival. He was only going to check if there was anything in here, if he did find anything too big he would call Sam and Dean to help him out. His heartbeat slowed down with the experience gathered in previous skirmishes during his angel days, his human eyes struggled in the dark to pick up anything besides the old buckets and dirt. He made sure his sneakers didn't make a sound as he entered the warehouse.
He heard a moan. A female moan coming from the hall to his left
Ancient paint buckets blocked his path and made makeshift walls to keep him away from the sound. He eventually found a door that lead to what used to be an office. It was wide open, the dust on the floor had been cleared from the door's movement. He unconsciously held his angel blade higher.
The office was filled with old desks and papers were strewn everywhere. There was another door that opened to a smaller and more personal office that had nothing but dust inside. He quickly exited that room to keep himself from being cornered in the small room. A hall in the main office lead him downstairs to the basement. He heard the moan again coming from downstairs and forced himself not to take off running to help the girl. It must be the sound of the college girl waking up from the poison induced dream.
He made his way slowly downstairs and used old boxes to conceal himself from the rest of the room. The metal stairs had not made any sound, and he was grateful for it.
He saw several old mattresses laid down on the floor and people sleeping peacefully on them. Some of them even smiled in their sleep. He shook his head in disgust at the IV lines sucking their blood into bags. He also saw saline bags stuck in their other arms, perhaps to keep them alive longer.
There were at least twenty people sleeping on the dirty mattresses, their bodies showing signs of malnourishment and looking like they were being sucked dry by the IVs.
He heard the moan again accompanied with a sob.
Castiel almost stood up from his spot behind the crates until he heard the door from the office upstairs close with a loud click. He flinched and hid until he could see the newcomer. A female Djinn with workout clothes and blonde hair walked down the stairs and saw the girl trying to wake up.
"Shh, darling, it's alright." The Djinn moved to kneel next to her bed and gently laid a hand on her cheek to wipe her tears.
"Mom, where are you?" The girl sobbed in her half-conscious state, and the Djinn brushed her hair soothingly.
"It's okay baby girl, sleep." The Djinn's tattooed hands glowed along with her eyes. A blue fire emanated from her hand, and she touched the girl's forehead.
Castiel stood up from his spot when the girl fell asleep again. He couldn't risk the girl to announce his arrival. The female Djinn grabbed a blood bag from another person, this one a male in his mid-30s, and drank from it.
Castiel took this moment to stab her from behind, right in the head, with his angel blade.
The Djinn took a sharp intake of breath and fell to the floor, falling on top of the blood bag and spilling it everywhere. Castiel stood next to her body and kneeled down to retrieve his blade, blood quickly surging from the spot where the blade used to be.
He was surprised by a boot colliding with his back and breaking a rib or two with the impact. Castiel turned around and stabbed the new Djinn right in the heart only to find himself surrounded by three more. Castiel struggled to remove his blade from the man's chest but a Djinn hit him in the side before he was able to use his blade. He fell backwards and prepared himself for another Djinn to jump on him.
He stabbed one in the heart when it tried to force him to sleep. The remaining two had the bright idea to hold him while the other made his tattoos light up in a blue glow along with the fire on his hand and touched Castiel's forehead.
Castiel tried to fight the Djinns, but the darkness soon overcame his senses.
He woke up on a mattress. Dean was slapping his cheek repeatedly telling him to wake up.
"C'mon Cas. Wake up man. I need you to wake up. C'mon. Come on. Wake up. Cas." Dean's voice sounded broken, desperate even. His jaw was set tight, and his hands were gentle on Cas.
Cas opened his eyes and saw Dean looking at him worriedly.
"Hello Dean." Cas managed to croak before starting a coughing fit that forced his malnourished body into a fetal position. He looked at the empty mattress next to him, instead of looking at Dean.
"Easy there, tiger." Dean rubbed his back through Cas' T-shirt and used his other hand to pet his hair. "I'm gonna get you out of here."
"Dean...the others..." Cas couldn't finish his sentence, there was pain on his lower abdomen that he knew meant hunger. His throat was dry, and his lips were chapped from dehydration. He wanted to eat something and throw up at the same time, it was the worst feeling he had ever felt.
"Don't talk." Dean brushed his fingers between Castiel's unruly hair. "Sam already gave them the antidote and called 911. We need to get you out of here before the cops arrive and before the sleeping beauties wake up completely."
Cas nodded in understanding and tried to sit up slowly.
"Easy Cas, easy." Dean wrapped his arms around Cas' waist and helped him sit up. Cas frowned at the tenderness of his touch. Dean realized what he was doing and quickly removed his arms.
Dean shouldn't be treating him like that, he should be shouting at him for being stupid and inept.
As if on cue, Dean shoved a hand through his hair and cursed. "Shit Cas, why did you have to be so fucking careless? This was a freaking nest, and you needed to call us before fucking waltzing in like an idiot."
There it was, the angry Dean that he knew.
"Fuck it man." Dean stood up and held a hand out for Cas. Cas took it and Dean hauled him up violently. "Fuck it Cas." He repeated, "We were so freaking worried."
Suddenly Dean wrapped his arms around his shoulders, just the way he did in Purgatory when he finally found him.
It was reassuring, his body felt too weak to keep him standing, but it didn't matter because he had Dean's strong arms pressing him to his chest. Dean was warm against his body. Cas couldn't help but bury his nose in Dean's shoulder, it was a human thing he started doing to explore his new senses. This of course was somewhat different.
"Don't ever do that again." Dean clapped his shoulder and separated himself from Cas to look him in the eye. "Doesn't matter if it's just a ghost you are going after, you call me or Sam. Cas, you listenin' to me?" Cas nodded silently and it apparently was the right thing to do, because Dean hugged him again but tighter.
Dean placed his chin on top of Cas' shoulder and let out an angry sigh. Cas buried his face in the crook of Dean's neck and weakly placed his hands on Dean's waist to finally have something to hold on to.
Dean smelt like leather, like the impala and wood. It was such a manly combination of aromas that Cas had never been aware of as an angel, but had always welcomed as a human.
Dean backed off and punched Cas on the arm. "Good, chick flick moments' over." Dean brushed a hand over his mouth and took a step away from Cas. Cas immediately lost his balance and would've fallen on his ass if Dean hadn't caught him by the arm. "Easy, I've got you." Dean placed Castiel's arm over his shoulder and held his waist to slowly lead Cas upstairs.
There were 6 Djinns heaped in a pile with silver knives sticking out from their heads. He was reminded of the Djinns he'd killed earlier. He frowned because it felt like earlier was just a couple of seconds ago.
What he couldn't accomplish with his million years of experience in battle by himself, two humans did it in one try. Without his angelic powers, he was weak and useless. The Winchesters even kept him from going hunting with them.
It hurt to be filled with self-loathing, but it hurt more knowing that it wasn't misguided.
He wasn't even able to exit the warehouse without having to lean on Dean, who was half carrying him up the stairs.
"Dean," Cas muttered once they were outside. "How did you find me?"
Dean didn't let go of Cas as he walked them to the Impala. "Huh?"
"How did you find me?" Cas frowned in both slight defiance and suspicion. He didn't quite know what he was suspicious of, but he was anyway.
"Came back from ganking that vampire nest in St. Louis and found your note. We freaked out when you didn't answer and used the GPS from your phone." Dean opened the passenger door and helped Cas sit down. "You are so fucking careless, Cas." Dean abruptly slammed the door shut when Cas was comfortable inside.
Cas barely had enough energy to flinch in his weakened state and saw Dean walk to the driver's seat with angry steps. Cas finally noticed that he was not wearing his trench coat and that his sword was gone.
He panicked and started to search his pants for his phone or sword, which was useless because it was obvious that they were not there.
Dean sat down with a grunt and the door creaked as Dean closed it. Cas was still in a panicked state and Dean's anger wavered with confusion.
"What?" Dean looked at him with an eyebrow raised.
"My sword and my coat! Dean! They're missing!" Cas shouted, jumping up from his seat to look at the back seat.
"Come on, calm down for a second Cas. I'm getting a migraine just by looking at you." Dean massaged his temples as if they were actually hurting him.
"I'm sorry if I'm causing you any physical discomfort with my distress Dean!" Cas snapped and stopped looking for nothing in his jeans.
"Shut up, smartass." Dean groaned, "If you would just shut up and listen. Sam has your stuff." He placed a hand on Cas shoulders. "We used the GPS in your phone and found it in your bloodstained coat in the trunk of your car which was in the middle of nowhere by the way about 30 miles from here." Dean saw Cas react with shock and smiled reassuringly. His smile was warm and tender, Cas even dared to call it fond.
"I was so worried Cas." Dean held his shoulder tighter and looked at his hand gripping the steering wheel. "I can't lose you Cas. Not again, anyway. You and Sam are all I've got." Dean sighed and let go of his arm, starting the Impala and sobering up to his usual hard face.
Cas was shocked, he made sure to not make any facial expressions and instead looked out the window.
He had been placed in the same category as Sam. He couldn't believe it.
"We had no leads. So we investigated anything slightly supernatural in Illinois. We took down a Shapeshifter taking money from every store he saw and yet another vampire nest. We found leads on these Djinn assholes and didn't stop checking places until we found you. It felt like a month but I'm not sure how long it was Cas. I'm sorry for taking so long. Sam took a victim in your car because she was in critical condition. A college chick. Poor thing was about to die on us when we found her." Dean shook his head as he drove. "Where are you crashing? I hope you payed extra and left a credit card for the extra days." Cas nodded silently. "Where are you staying?"
"The Pelican... I picked the third motel in the phonebook." Cas turned to Dean in time to see the quirk of his lip.
"What name did you use?" Dean was excited and genuinely proud of Cas for remembering that small thing about the Winchesters.
"Uhh... Robert Plant..." Cas murmured and Dean broke down laughing and almost drove off the road. "Dean, be careful! You just saved me don't be so quick to undo it!"
"Oh my god, Cas!" Dean ignored the comment and tried to stop laughing. "The Zep vocalist? Did the guy even notice the name was weird?"
"I'm... not sure." Cas frowned and Dean laughed again. It was nice seeing Dean laughing instead of angry or painfully worried. He didn't care that Dean was laughing about him.
Cas smiled.
"Hey... so... do you wanna head out to the hospital?" Dean looked at Cas sideways without really taking his eyes from the road. He had been driving straight to the motel, but became worried when Cas kept to himself and leaned against the window.
"Are you actually asking me or telling me? You have probably already made the decision. I'm guessing if I refuse you'll argue with me and take me there anyway." Cas sighed, "but I'm okay Dean. Just hungry and dehydrated."
Dean automatically reached for a water bottle from the cooler in the back seat. He stuck his tongue out while he was multitasking between keeping the car steady and rummaging through beer bottles. He finally found the water bottle, and instead of giving it to Cas right away, he struggled to open it one handed.
Cas just stared at him with wide eyes and accepted the bottle with a mumbled thank you.
"Alright then, I'll buy you some cheeseburgers from a drive through and ask if they have pie. You know... for the protein." Dean shrugged and started looking for a fast food restaurant while biting his lower lip.
Cas was shocked.
"You are not going to argue with me?" Dean didn't respond, "Huh."
"What?" Dean snapped.
"Nothing." Cas looked away.
"What Cas?" Dean snapped more forcefully, "you think I should have to argue with you about this?" Cas shrugged. "Listen, they are just going to stick some IV shit and give you crappy hospital food. Plus I haven't faked any insurance for you yet." Dean shrugged.
Cas rolled his eyes and waited for Dean to continue talking.
"Last time you were hospitalized you were tagged as John Doe and then practically escaped before anyone said anything." Dean smiled in a self-deprecating amusement, "I just realized I never asked you about that."
Cas just stared at Dean once again, his mouth was hanging slightly open and Dean reached over to gently close his mouth with his fingertips. His touch left his skin tingling and he felt rather than saw his deep blush crawling from his neck to his cheekbones.
Dean turned in his seat to look at him and noticed his blush right away. Dean chuckled and stopped in a drive-through and ordered enough burgers and fries for 4 people. Cas didn't complain as he munched happily on his cheeseburger and Dean picked at the fries.
They arrived at the motel and asked for an extra key at the lobby. The boy at the desk barely asked them for the name the room was under and they took off.
Dean left Cas on one of the beds and excused himself to call Sam.
He came back and started taking off the top layers of clothes and his shoes. Dean sat down next to Cas and grabbed a cheeseburger.
"All right, so Sam has the key to our room and I'm too tired to wait for him. We are staying upstairs just so you know. Kinda ironic that we never thought of finding your motel room." Dean shrugged and started eating his cheeseburger.
Cas was munching on some fries and admiring Dean's jawline as he ate.
"Does... that mean you are staying?" Cas swallowed and took a sip from his large soda.
"If you don't have a problem with it." Dean licked his lips and stared at Castiel's. Cas swallowed again and struggled to think about a reason for Dean to look at his lips. "Dude... ummm." Dean muttered something and Cas tilted his head, "you have some cheese and salt from the fries right here." Dean scratched the corner of his lips.
Cas wiped the wrong side of his face
"No, the other side." Cas lowered his hand and wiped his chin, "no, Cas." Cas wiped the right corner, but didn't clean anything. "You've gotta be kidding me!" Dean took his hand in his and used his other hand to wipe the corner of his lip gently looking at Cas for any reason to back off.
Cas was about to say something when his head began to hurt, and his eye started to ache as if he had been awake for days..
Then, right in the middle of the bed, a young brunette girl appeared. She was about 19 years old wearing an Illinois State University sweatshirt and jeans. She was on her side, her leg bent at an awkward angle, and she was staring blankly at the ceiling.
"Cas what's wrong?" Dean placed his hand on Cas' shoulder and squeezed it gently, his eyes were warm and he was frowning with worry.
"I- um..." I don't think you saw the girl. I don't believe this is real. You are never this nice to me. Who is she? Is she the girl I was looking for, the college girl? What's going on?
Damn it, there was so much he wanted to say, but at the same time he felt too confused with himself to do so..
"Cas is it the dream you had? What did the Djinn show you? Was it a nightmare?" Dean placed his other hand on his knee, not something he hadn't done before. The last time he did that was when he was murdered by April.
"I don't recall what my Djinn induced dream was about." It was the truth, he had wondered why he didn't remember such a thing and brushed it away as a human reflex to something traumatic. "It-" his voice cracked "was probably a nightmare and that's why I don't remember."
"Hey it's okay, Cas." Dean reassured him with a smile, "I'm here to keep your nightmares away, Cas." Dean smiled shyly and leaned forward slightly. Cas was shocked and awed, Dean was going to kiss him. Dean Winchester, hunter extraordinaire and righteous man, wanted to kiss Castiel, fallen angel and crappy human being.
Wait, no. Dean didn't want that.
With that thought in mind he wasn't surprised that Dean wasn't quite leaning towards him, but leaning forward to reach for a cheeseburger.
"You gonna eat this one? You've already had three and on your starved stomach I don't think it was such a good idea to eat so much." Dean shrugged. "You'll probably vomit or have diarrhea tomorrow." Dean grinned teasingly and stood up to clean the mess they made with the food on the bed. Dean wolfed down his cheeseburger and finished his beer before dropping everything in the trashcan and putting the leftovers in the fridge.
He was still smiling at his own joke. "Heh," he laughed and shook his head "if you do have any of that tell me and I'll get you some medicine. If you don't then I'll take you out for breakfast." Dean winked at him in a friendly way and stood up. "I'm going to use bathroom first, just chill in there and then take a shower." Dean scratched his head and started walking to the bathroom.
"Yes, mom." Who said ex-angels can't do sarcasm?
"Smartass." Dean grumbled before slamming the door shut.
Cas deflated with a sigh and leaned back on his bed.