"Soap, go plant the charges."
"Soap,
follow me."
"Soap, clear the building."
"Soap, take out
those hostiles."
"Soap, check those corners!"
It was only
a matter of time before he snapped.
"Soap, go get the
stinger from the barn and shoot down that helicopter!" Captain
Price barked.
So he did. For about half an hour, he ran circles
around the barn, trying to get the damn stinger to lock on onto the
helicopter whilst getting shot at. Finally, he managed to get two
solid hits and it crashed in some field nearby.
"Good job,
Soap." Price said, patting him on the shoulder. "Now let's
go."
Soap stood there as the rest of the group (which by the
way, somehow grew) began to leave the barn. He just shot down a
helicopter and saved their asses! He's the F.N.G.! He's not
supposed to be doing the important things!
But nonetheless, he set
down the missile launcher, grabbed his rifle and followed the rest of
the group.
"Soap, up front!"
He sighed.
"Soap,
call in the airstrike on that building."
"Isn't that your
job, Captain?"
"I said do it!"
"Soap, activate
the charges in those buildings."
"Okay, who's coming with
me?"
"What are you talking about? You don't need someone to
help you."
"Sir, we are heavily outnumbered and the enemy is
surrounding the building where the activators are." Soap explained.
"It's highly advisable that I go with someone as the likelihood
of me getting killed is very high."
"Stop being such a muppet
and just go do it."
"Uh, but, urgh, fine."
"Soap,
do this because I'm bored."
Soap paused and set down his
rifle. He turned toward Captain Price and stared at him through his
gas mask. "Captain, with all due respect-"
"Don't argue
with me." Price said gruffly. "I'm your commanding officer and
you'll do as I say!"
Soap sighed as he trudged off to jog a
lap around the ICBM nuclear missile facility.
When he
returned, Gaz came to greet him. "Tired?"
Soap glared at him,
though he couldn't see. "Nope, not a least bit tired." He said
sarcastically as he panted loudly and conspicuously.
Gaz
brightened. "Great! Then you can go ahead and be our point man. Go
on, Soap." He shoved him to the front of the group. Picking up his
weapon, he led the group into the facility, receiving all of the
first shots from the enemy. Wonderful.
"Soap, take out
those BMPs!" Captain Price yelled as he shot some useless
suppressing shots against the tanks.
"How?!"
Gaz decided to
chip in some advice. "Use C4 or an RPG!"
"Throw smoke before
you approach it!" Griggs added helpfully.
Soap rolled his eyes
as he watched his allies hide behind cover while he went to risk his
ass to destroy three tanks.
And so, he threw smoke, planted C4 on
one tank, blew it up, ran to the other tank, planted C4, nearly got
run over by said tank and nearly killed himself trying to run and
blow it up at the same time.
"Soap, upload the abort
codes."
That was the last straw.
"You know what Captain
Price," Soap said, tossing down his rifle, "I'm sick of your
crap!"
"Soap, you can be sick of his crap later, just upload
the codes first!" Gaz said through their headset.
"NO, YOU
LISTEN. You said 'Soap, do this', 'Soap, do that', 'Soap,
do this because I'm bored' this entire campaign and for what?
Because you were too lazy to get off your damn arse to do it
yourself!" Soap shouted. The other SAS looked at each other
anxiously.
"The F.N.G. is loony." One muttered to his
buddy.
"Why do I have to do everything? I'm the new guy! I'm
supposed to be picked on and shunned! But no, you wankers tell me to
do all of the important things. Like this. You know the bloody abort
codes, you do it!"
Price decided to speak up. "Okay Soap.
Let's be rational. We'll talk after you upload the codes."
"The
whole point of this thing is about how I have to do every goddamn
thing for this team!"
"Just upload the damn thing and go with
the plotline."
"Thirty seconds, Soap, do it before the
missiles hit." Griggs said, now extremely nervous. Everyone stared
at Soap. He sighed.
"Fine, FINE!" He began to type in the
codes. "The lot of you are like a bunch of babies, I swear to god.
Do this, do that, nyeh nyeh nyeh. There." He said as the computer
accepted the codes. "Whoop-de-effing-do."
There was a sigh of
relief. Captain Price walked up to Soap.
"Don't blame me,
mate, blame the lot up there." He said, patting him on the
back.
"What, are you trying to tell me that my life is dictated
by a greater power now?"
