A/N: So I'm back...not that anybody remembers my existence, but anyways, it has occurred to me that while I was working on some one-shots for a series for another fandom that I realized I had yet to actually tempt my hand in writing any one-shot (or drabble) for Zootopia.
So I figured I would deal my hand in a little for the simple fact that I cannot sleep properly, and two; I need to flex my Zootopia skills all over again if I am to do anymore writing for this fandom. I mean I was gone for a while, but that was due to the fact that it was my first year in high school and I had no idea what the HELL I was doing. Also, I wanted to just be a little bit more invested in drawing, which is all I've been doing for the majority of the summer is drawing…a lot.
But let's be real, procrastination is a bitch.
But in all seriousness though I don't know what's been going on with me lately, but I've been feeling particularly lackluster and unmotivated. Then there's summer school I've been dealing with and honestly? I haven't been feeling like getting out of bed at times. And I'm not talking about me being lazy (that is a factor to take into consideration though) just me endlessly and needlessly questioning why the fuck I woke up this morning and I'm not saying that to be funny; I mean it. But, I'm sure I'll get over it with time! (gotta stay optimistic about this). And as a side note I end up tired for no reason these days - I don't know WHY but I do, and it's even worse because I'm not old I'm fucking 15 what the fuck?!
But don't worry about it I'll be fine (probably). I almost ALWAYS go on a long hiatus so this isn't a fucking surprise to be honest...
Another thing, that I feel that I MUST MENTION is more on the subject of my other Zootopia stories to which I say I am continuing them, Ghoultopia especially going to finish that one, although I might have to change the plot perhaps…? We'll see. Training Wilde is still in production in that I will be redoing the story over as I feel I kind of messed up on worldbuilding within that one. The others...I think I deleted some of the others along with scrapping some Zootopia ideas - although I might just hand them off to someone most likely.
Anyways enough about me let's...idk you read this, give me feedback, and I sit here and um….
Yeah.
Just read.
On a side note I should mention some things in here I left vague, just because I usually like to put detail into the things I write about and so leaving things up to interpret was just something I also decided to try out as the one-shot contains I suppose a heavy themes within it, and as you read through I should hope it be made clear.
And by all accounts TOOLS is inspired by true cases of this nature and the subject matter shouldn't be taken lightly. Again, dark themes ahead related to abuse. It should become obvious what kind and I would like to say I personally have never experienced any kind, and I also have no true knowledge or understanding of this topic and am treading lightly on this matter - again, I will say, dark themes (probably not the right word to use here) ahead; you've been warned.
EDIT 1: Ummm...this is going to end up being a collection of Zootopia one-shots. dEaL wItH iT.
PART 1
(in my defense I said a collection of one-shots so sue me…)
It's simple, actually…
-:-
From the start, my existence was merely convenient. If it kept her from meeting an untimely demise at the hands of being a single mother with only a few coins to scrape by I would certainly be laying amongst the other kits; I would be soaked - maybe burnt? Or tossed like a stone being thrown out onto the lake, but rather than skipping along the water effortlessly I would skip on air.
Though...if I'm being honest...I don't think she was that cruel…
Even though she reluctantly fed me the nutrients from her body.
Even though she looked at me with SCORN.
Even though I heard the whispers she said about me.
Even though she called me WEAK.
Even though she recognized my scrawny frame to be the epitome of every little thing she hated about me.
Because I looked like HIM.
And yet - she wasn't such a bad mother.
-:-
Everything has a balance…
-:-
There was a slap that resonated from the kitchen and down the small, moldy hall that led to a small kit's bedroom.
Or what was supposed to constitute as one.
Another slap that sounded far more brutal careened off the walls of the two room apartment. The kit listened to the profanities echo inside his head for a while before he heard his stomach growl loudly. It didn't register for a second within his large, triangular ears, but when it did a second time he all but stumbled from the air mattress he'd been perched on.
Green eyes stared warily at their surroundings as the small mammal scrambled past the kitchen area where two vulpines lay screeching at each other using every word they could think of.
He opened the front door.
He stepped out onto cool pavement.
Breathing in fresh air.
The fresh scent of spring intermingled with the smell of pollen, burnt rubber, cheap fast food, and cigarettes. It was perfect in every way imaginable; Nick couldn't ask for anything less.
It was nice.
Unlike him of course.
The vulpine leaped from where he stood upon the cold, concrete stairs and raced away towards freedom.
And by freedom that was more or less referring to the dumpster.
His second meal of the day would consist of the following: a ham sandwich, a bottle of water, and cold fries with next to no flavor or seasoning to them. But he wasn't complaining, in fact, he was more than grateful.
At this point, coming to the dumpster along Cicada St. was a blessing. I mean sure he didn't know who was leaving the food out for him and there was a possible chance it could be poisoned, but at this point Nick had sense given up on being cautious as caution had never actually worked in his favor at all. As he got older he started paying more attention to his existence; next the red kit knew he was being dropped off to school, picked up from school, being dragged to shady areas, and forced to watch the ongoing activities at bars. The fox didn't take a liking to him at all and yet he seemed perfectly fine with insisting on taking him everywhere he went. Some part of Nick hoped it was his way of reaching out to him, as if he wanted to convey an emotion the tod had no experience in communicating to others.
It was a small hope, but one he clung onto desperately.
-:-
But, for things to have balance…
You would need the right tools…
-:-
At some point or another I found myself in a predicament...It was one that even now befuddles me in more ways than one.
But, for the time of cherished moments to be had with you...I knew...it wouldn't last long…
They never do.
-:-
The air had been crisp with the wind adding a cold snap to it. It was like a shock to the face to those who were early-birds and a complete backhand to those with expectancies of great warm weather ahead. Yes, it was spring, but it wasn't mid-spring yet and the atmosphere still carried the wrath of winter with it. So simply put next to nobody was in a happy mood that day. It didn't help that the skies overhead were dark and ominous; they stretched farther than the horizon would allow an onlooker to see, whereas those in the east got a perfect view of boiling, black clouds threatening to unleash a torrenting cascade of water upon their heads.
Of course the only elementary school to exist within HappyTown was only naturally not experiencing any gray clouds at all. In fact, thick streams of luscious sunlight glared down upon the rust-covered, old, playground equipment that had possibly never seen better days. Children ran and frolicked about on the weak metal hinges of the slide and monkey bars. The swing set was no different other than the fact that the tires that constituted as seats were shiny and brand new-ish in a sense.
Upon one of the swings (there were three in total) sat a despondent Nick. His eyes were currently glazed over in a way that may have given off the impression he was close to fainting, and that may have been the case. The school lunches were few and far in between with the staff wanting to implement the rule of "dieting" into, what the staff personally called, "voluntary predatorial behavior" - basically excuses to not go out fully with the funds they had.
The food was good though, so there was that.
Of course it wasn't the cafeteria food that had him feeling so bleak, it was actually his report card.
Nicholas P. Wilde
English- F
Math- C
Science- F
Art- B (with a very low score mind you)
Music- A
His hands shook visibly as he stared down at the wrinkled piece of paper. All that hard work...for nothing. Of course he knew that wasn't the problem at all; it was more than that. They would be so disappointed in him. It was bad enough he couldn't be of any use around the house, but now they would definitely leave him hanging.
A small part of him hoped that would be the case.
If it meant leaving this abysmal existence behind then he would gladly take it without complaint. After all life had to be better in the wake of death than in a tumultuous existence where everything was gray and sunlight was an oddity. When survival of the fitness brings new meanings of life with it. One could be almost amused, and maybe a little awed, at how such a kit could fear life, but not death itself.
Many mammals went through life trying to make the most out of everyday given to them - Nick opted for trudging through every day like he was walking through sludge. When school was as dismal as it was and running away was out of the question (being a fox didn't have its advantages) what good did pretending do for anyone?
The sound of hooves clacking on pavement and the sweet smell of peaches is what alerted him (briefly) to the playground monitor heading his way. She was something of a rotund looking horse with bright hazel eyes filled with warmth and love for literally just about everyone she came into contact with. Her smile never faltered it seemed and radiated like sunshine across evergreen grass as she looked down upon him cheerfully.
Nick found it more patronizing than anything.
"Oh, honey, be a dear and let Judy have a turn on the swing why don't you?" The horse's smile grew a little sharp along with her tone and her eyes crinkled a little too much at the edges.
Yep, she was definitely patronizing him.
Rather than focusing upon the equine he turned his attention towards that of a small, petite lapine who's pink nose was currently bouncing up and down amidst her twitching whiskers. Large violet-purple eyes stared at him with a form of curiosity and…
Pity.
Without much of a thought going through him he instantly leaped from the swing and skittered away to more secluded area of the playground. More specifically under the slide where the noise felt more muffled, although the squeaking of the metal hinges ultimately destroyed any sense of peace an quiet he might have found there. Still it was better than nothing.
It wasn't until the sound of quiet footsteps grew louder that he realized someone was coming his way. For a moment he thought it was that horse, but when he saw the flat feet he knew immediately who it was. The same rabbit from not to long ago came and promptly sat next to him while her long lapine ears swayed from against her back. She sat criss-crossed with, amusingly enough, her hands in her lap. Judy stared at him quizzically for a moment and he stared back though his gaze averted itself on a constant.
"Do you have any friends?" She asked without hesitance.
Nick blinked rapidly at the rabbit. His mouth opening and closing like a fish.
"I-I...wha-?"
"I can be your friend!" And then Judy got just a little too close for comfort on Nick's part, his own nose starting to twitch as he could smell the mildew on her rags. Now that she was so close though he could faintly see little patches of fur out of place along her cheek. The kit's gaze snapped away to look into large amethyst pools that seemed to sparkle of their own volition even though they were under the shade.
"...so will you?..." She asked with only a slight hint of desperation in her voice. Her button nose bounced fervently upon her face and her violet pools showed a reflection of a kit fox with dark rings under his baggy eyes which were red from the nights where he had been deprived of sleep. The fur along his head was scrappy and messy and honestly...as much as he didn't want to acknowledge it...he looked like him..
So he stopped looking in the amethyst mirrors that were - what was her name again? - Judy - right...her; Judy's eyes.
And then he politely declined her offer because he didn't want to look at those pitying eyes ever again. To which the rabbit kit responded in kind by completely ignoring what he'd just said and deciding that they were indeed friends even though he really didn't want to be her friend.
Then she turned insane.
Nick regretted not running away from her when he had the chance.
"- which is why I'm going to be the best at my job," to which the rabbit paused to smirk proudly and jutted her thumb at her sharp, bony, chest. " I'll be the best officer ever!" She exclaimed loudly.
In that moment, Nick knew, he had made the worst choice of his life.
-:-
I liked you…
Did you know that? I bet you didn't know that..you probably thought I was weird and that's why I didn't have friends.
You probably just thought I was crazy for the hopes and dreams I had.
You probably thought I was mental and that's why I did the dumb stuff I did.
Or maybe..
It's because you're a coward and couldn't admit that you were weak and that's why it didn't work out.
Couldn't work out.
I hate you.
For letting her do that to you. I hate her to, but I especially hate you a lot for what you didn't do.
…
Can I tell you a secret?...
I still like you…
A/N: Would you believe me if I told you I was gonna try and turn this into a whole one-shot? I know, I'm laughing too. But I did it, I reached a maximum of past 2'000 words because that was my goal the entire time...no it wasn't…
But in all seriousness I would like to say that the only reason I'm not completing this right this instance is because:
1) I'm an asshole
2) I'm a lazy fucker
3) I want your honest opinion on how you like it so far. Is it hard to follow? Do I need to work on a few things in my writing of any kind, things of that nature I would like to know, especially considering on the themes I'm going for here, I want to know how you think I'm handling this story concept so far.
So if you HAVE made it this far in THANK YOUUUU for being so patient because I am a horrible author at this point. I have never met an author such as myself who procrastinates so much my god.
If anybody asks why I'm making a tragedy such as this, blame it on Shakespeare.
...that joke is gonna be lost on so many people i just know it...