Okay so I know I should be working on Returned and Call Me Lupin...and I'm Almost Completely Sirius... and trust me I am, but I got off track and this one-shot popped into my head. HOW 'BOUT THAT MOVIE, BY THE WAY? :D I like reviews!

Starting Fires

I looked up at Peeta, eyes narrowing as he stared, focused out the window. "We're almost home," he murmured.

Home. The word felt foreign to me. The place I'd never thought I'd return to again. I didn't meet his eyes and I doubt that he wanted to look at me either. So many things I'd love to say, how I want to be friends. How I cannot go through this alone. How I don't know what I'm doing; where I'm going. How I want to know him, maybe more. But that I couldn't be his, everything that he wanted and everything that he deserved, when I didn't know what I was doing without adding him into the mix. People- people will never look at me the same. I've murdered people. It will hurt to talk to Gale, look at him. It will hurt when I know that every action in the arena was an act of betrayal in his eyes.

I won't know what to say to him either.

Prim will never be the same, never be innocent. She'll lead a better life in Victor's Village. We'll never go hungry and we'll never go cold. That thought alone brings me comfort, but not being hungry and cold does not mean happy. I don't know what I'll do to not wake up, screaming. I don't know what I'll do to stay normal in my sister's eyes. I don't know if I'll ever be able to do that for her, when any feeling that was there for anyone is currently a dull ache in my heart. I failed them all.

I'm overcome with the desire to have died in the arena. To not have hurt anybody. Peeta could have made it, he only nearly died to save me.

Looking at what I've done to repay him, I'm surprised he doesn't just kill me now.

Without the capability to put anything I'm thinking into words, all I can do is take something he'd said to me a long time ago and reply to that.

"They turned me into something I never wanted them to, Peeta."

"I can say the same."

"Why? You didn't hurt anybody."

"Foxface. Cato."

"You didn't know, Peeta, and Cato was dead because-"

"Because I told you to shoot."

"I don't think you changed all that much. I think that if you'd changed, you would've done the reasonable thing and killed me when they changed the rules."

"I don't think the Capitol could ever make me do that, Katniss," Peeta whispered.

"That's because you're too good for them to destroy," I responded weakly.

"I don't think you changed all that much."

"I think I have," I replied firmly. "And I don't think I'll ever be the same to anyone again."

"You're the same to me. You're my girl with the voice that the Mockingjays envied to me." I tried not to think of how he called me his. I tried not to say that I wanted to be his. I tried not to do anything but think of how Gale would feel, how delusional Peeta was. How he should know that I'm good for no one and better off alone.

That I set everything I touch on fire and no matter how confused I may be, I know that I don't want him to burn with me.

I tried not to do all that, but instead of achieving any of that, or even warning him that he didn't want me, I just replied without thinking, "And you're my boy with the bread."

I looked at him and I knew, that no matter what I'd ever do, he'd be the worst fire I ever set.