This particular cowpat was born of my strong distaste for this particular ship. As usual, my sincere apologies for any damage dealt to your retinas, sanity, or ego.

Go check out Prelude to Summer by LikeaGlintofLight if you're actually into that sort of thing.

I read using a posh British accent and almost peed my pants laughing.

Disclaimer:Contrary to common belief, Osama bin Ladle does not own HTTYD.But Dreamworks and Cressida Cowell do.

Let the carnage BEGIN!

Hoo tu Make Toothcup Fanfiction

You will need:

1 tooth

1 cup

Haha no just kidding.

You will need:

1 ooc Hiccup

1 emo guy with black hair-I mean 1 ooc Toothless

5000ml romantic cliches

2 cups sexah

350g nowaythatcouldEVERhappen

100000 sievefuls f*ck logic powder

1 orgy

10 tonnes rabid hentai yaoi shipper hormones

4 1/2 tablespoons badd spaling

2 cups grammar worse

60g badd riting skills

vore(optional)

bestiality(optional)

whisky(to taste)

1 revolver

1 prayer(to Gods)

Step une:

Offer prayer to God(s). Hope for the best.

Step twu:

Preheat oven to 500000. Bake ooc Hiccup and emo-I mean ooc Toothless at 25000000 for one hour or until smokin' hawt.

Step treh:

Whisk hormones until soft peaks are formed. Fold in romantic cliches and noway. Stir gently with a dead stiff possum, gradually adding in f*ck logic. Throw in orgy, vore and bestiality. Cover ears and wait for explosion.

Step fur:

Coat smokin' hawt Hicc and Tooth with sexah. Add to mixture, which should now be bubbling omniously. Whisk briskly using your bare hands until well combined.

Step fve:

Go to the hospital. The unholy mixture has corroded your hands.

Step sx:

Take a shot of whisky to prevent yourself from passing out.

Step sven:

Garnish with badd spaling, grammar worse and badd riting skeels. Serve on fanfiction website of choice with a side of revolting porn fanart cover.

Step ate:

Point muzzle of revolver to your head/chest. Pull trigger.

Beta'd by my brother.

Uuh...hey...well that got dark fast. Sorry you had to wade in this filth that was even longer than the previous two. I'm sorry for any trauma understandably caused by this...this piece of utter garbage. So, so sorry.

Here, have a cookie. I understand that many fanfiction writers give their fans cookies as peace offerings and/or rewards.

Here you go (: :)

Did you like it? I made it using some kind of brown substance which I happened to scrape off the ground. It smelled funky.

Haha no just kidding it's a choc chip cookie.

Sorry not sorry.