My Heart Is Longing For You
(Copyright: I do not own the Sonic crew, yadda yadda yadda! They belong to Sega. I do own Rachel and Riu the wolves, and sorry but, Silver may seem a bit OOC. Also, the song "This is Home" by Switchfoot is mentioned. I, obviously, do not own this song, it belongs to the band Switchfoot.)
Warning, does contain major Christianity references. Don't like, then don't read!
It's in Silver's POV, btw! K, bai! :)
I drove like a maniac, trying to get to the hospital in time. I was so lucky I didn't run into any cops, or I'd have gotten a ticket for sure! My vision was becoming blurry, as the tears built up in my eyes and dripped onto the steering wheel. I'd just heard the news from Shadow, and I could feel my heart throb when I thought about Rachel dying. I quickly wiped at my watery eyes, as to regain my vision, and spoke.
"God, please be with her," I whispered, hoping maybe he'll save her. I turned a sharp corner and screeched to a halt in the hospital parking lot. Honestly, I don't believe I've ever driven that insane in my life! I got out of the car and ran for the double doors. My cell phone rang in my pocket while I was still in the lot; I whipped it open in a panic, still briskly running into the building. It was Sonic, probably calling to see where I was. I pressed talk and spoke, not even bothering to say hello.
"Yes... Yes I'm here! I'll be right there!" I said into the phone, and hung up. I came up to the front desk, and the woman at the desk looked up at me. She could probably see the sadness and urgency in my eyes.
"I'm here to see Rachel," I said.
"You must be Silver the hedgehog," the woman said. "Your friend Sonic told me you'd be here soon. She's on the 1st floor, room 215." I nodded a quick thank you and rushed down the hall.
I quickly located the room and burst inside. Sonic, Sasha, Riu, Shadow, and Amy stood in the wing right before the room, and they looked up at me with sad eyes when I entered. I came right up to them, and could see their fear as well as they could probably see mine. I panted slightly, and my stomach tied in knots as they looked at me with tearstained eyes.
"She's in there," Riu said quietly, gesturing to the room.
I slowly walked into the hospital room. It smelled of sanitization chemicals, foreboding bleeping of her heart monitor filled the air. I looked down at her hospital bed, and saw Rachel lying flat, looking quite sickly. A bag with some kind of fluid in it was hanging next to her bed, and it was attached to a tube that flowed into her wrist. She had her eyes closed and her arms folded on top of her chest peacefully; she was asleep. I looked at her, smiling. I know it was a strange notion, but I was just glad that she was still alive when I got there. I slowly walked up to her bed, knelt beside it, and took one of her frail hands in mine. It felt so cold and lifeless, bringing a lump to my throat. Then, Rachel stirred and aroused from her slumber. She blinked a few times then looked at me with those gorgeous blue eyes.
"Hi Rachel," I said, trying to put on my best "I'm not worried" facade. I gulped down the rising lump in my throat and spoke again. "How're you feeling?"
Damn, what a stupid question! She's lying in a hospital bed, inches from death, and I ask her "How you feeling?" I scolded myself, but then I looked back at her, waiting for her answer. She smiled weakly, and gripped my hand in hers.
"I'm not scared," she said, not quite answering my question. She took in a deep breath, closing her eyes, then reopened them and looked at me. "I'm not scared about dying," she simply repeated. I could feel tears creeping into my eyes again.
"How could you say something like that?" I cried. "How can you not be afraid?" I began to get worked up, and I didn't care if the others were watching and listening. Tears trickled down my cheeks as I continued. "The doctors say you're probably going to die! What else is there to fear that's worse than death?"
Rachel gave me an almost quizzical look at first, saying nothing for a few moments. Then, she spoke, with such sincerity in her voice, it gave me chills.
"What I fear right now is not dying, but the possibility that I'll never see you again," she said. I was so confused; what could she mean by that?
"Huh? I-I don't understand," I stammered. Rachel's grip tightened on my hand, so much so that her hand began to shiver and her knuckles turned white.
"I tried to make it my goal to bring you to Christ. And I know if I do die, then I'll go to heaven. But you..." she paused for a moment, then started a different sentence.
"Promise me," she said, "That you'll go to my church this Sunday? I want to be able to see you again."
I looked at her, at her sickly, pleading eyes. I knew she was serious here, and it only made my heart throb more. I'd already asked God to heal her, but he's done nothing! However, I sighed and spoke, relative to what I thought.
"If it'll let God heal you," I said quietly. Rachel suddenly looked like she'd been struck in the face. She swallowed, and appeared to be holding back tears.
"I never said that," Rachel said sternly. "This is God's plan for me. He'll save me if it's his will. Praying will always help the situation, but unless it's God's will for me to live, it won't matter how many people pray for me," she said. "What I want is for you to love Him the way I love Him. I want to be able to see you happy! Please, give Him a chance, for me!" I thought it over for a moment. If prayer wouldn't save Rachel's life, then what was the point? How would praying help, if it doesn't help? I was so confused!
Rachel coughed slightly, and I gently stroked her head to calm her.
She said something about being able to see me again if I did accept Christ; was she meaning Heaven? I wasn't even sure if Heaven existed, but I wanted to be with Rachel. I mean, it couldn't hurt to try once... If it'll make Rachel happy, and let me see her again.
"Sure... I'll go," I finally told her. "I'll go to church." I could already see her eyes light up, and gain a more lifelike glow in them. It made me happy to see her happy.
"Thank you," she said. "I already know, God is going to do wonderful things through you, and he is dancing with joy in the heavens, right now," she said, and she extended her arms upward for a hug. I hugged her, though my mind buzzed with a million questions and thoughts. Suddenly, a single thought, different from the others, popped into my mind. "What've you gotten yourself into?"
Later on that day, I was talking with Riu. He and I were the only two who stayed after everyone else left. He and I sat down near Rachel's bed, as her brother told me stories about Rachel when she was little, while she slept soundlessly.
Riu laughed slightly, and spoke.
"She was actually a little miracle, ever since the day she was born," he said. I perked up my ears and listened.
"She was born 7 weeks early. I mean, she was TINY! She was only, like, 6 inches long and weighed 5 ounces." Riu spoke with such humor, as if he's told this story so many times! I was seriously surprised, and let out a slight gasp.
"Really, she was a preemie? But she's so tall now!" I asked him. Riu nodded.
"Yup! The doctors said it'd be a miracle if she lived past a year, but mom and dad didn't give up on her," he said. "Everyone at home, all the participants at church, and every one of our friends prayed for God to make her strong and bless her. Well, Rachel beat death, and ended up growing taller than me in the process!" Riu said, with a hint of humor in his voice. I was surprised that so many people prayed for her. Friends and family, I could understand, but they had people from their church, who they might not even know, praying for them every day! I was literally shocked and astounded.
"I-I can't believe so many people prayed for you guys," I said quietly, playing with my fingers. "I always thought church was full of pussies who judged you about everything you did wrong." Riu shook his head the entire time as I spoke that last statement.
"No no no Silver, of course not," he said. "That all depends on how you look at your situation, and which church you go to. Our church has an entire area set out for teen service. We have an awesome preacher who's young and down-to-earth," Riu said. "And lemme tell you, prayer was the only thing that's kept me sane through these years. Having my daily heart-to-heart chat with God is what helped me make it through every day," Riu replied. "Don't ever short-change the effect praying has on a situation." Now I was curious; I wanted to have an easier life, and if praying to this God helped me get what I wanted, then maybe I could consider?
"You know, Rachel asked me to go to church this weekend," I said. Riu smiled at me kindly.
"Well alright then, I can take you," he said. I was honestly very surprised that he simply accepted it. I expected him to say, "You don't deserve to go," or "You sure you want to?" It made me feel comfortable. I looked over at Rachel, who was still fast asleep. She was smiling, and had her knees pulled up to her chest. She actually looked very... cute. I sighed, and looked back at Riu, who was looking at me. He knew as well as I did that I loved her, but then he spoke with a protective, brotherly sternness to his voice.
"You know, before you have a relationship with God, you have to make sure that nothing is more important and given more attention to, than him," Riu said to me. Now I really didn't know what to say. Does that mean I'd have to give up all of the things I love, including Rachel? As if he read my mind, Riu clarified.
"You can still keep these things that give you joy, as long as you can find a way to use these things to praise God. If you cannot find a way to praise him with it, then it is probably not a good hobby or possession," Riu said. I nodded, though I still had so many questions to ask. I could ask their pastor on Sunday.
Later that night, I sat on the edge of my bed, my mind tossing around so many things. I just couldn't sleep. I moaned, rolled out of bed, and stood up, stretching my arms.
"Maybe listening to some music will clear my mind," I murmured aloud. I went over to my iPod and turned it on, stuffing the white ear buds in my ears. I simply turned it on, put it on shuffle, and lied on my back, back onto the bed. However, the song that came on suddenly made me shoot back into a sitting position. I hadn't remembered downloading this song onto my iPod! I turned it on to see the name and author of the song. It was called "This is Home" by Switchfoot.
I relaxed; oh yeah, it was that one song Rachel had transferred from hers to mine. She told me I'd like it, although I've never listened to it until now. I relaxed onto my bed and listened closely to the lyrics and melody. I could feel my heart swelling and voices in my head, saying "listen carefully, please listen!" as I stared up at the ceiling.
By the end of the song, I was literally in tears. Seriously, I had my face in my hands and I was weeping! I don't even know why I was crying, I just couldn't control it. Right then and there, I could feel God tugging at my heart strings. I got out of bed and knelt down next to my bed. I folded my hands, and I prayed.
"God... I know I've never really been a good son to you, but... Please, I've found the error in my ways! I please pray that you would heal Rachel! I want her to teach me more about you. I want her to know that feeling of pride as she and I walk to church together... I want her to know that she did that... It's all her!" I prayed so hard, as tears spilled down my face. "Please," I spoke again, my voice quavering from my tears and swollen heart. "...Please, don't take her!" I took a deep breath, as I felt something huge being lifted off my chest. "Thank you lord... Amen."
I put my iPod away, and crawled back into bed. I still couldn't go to sleep, but at least that time, it wasn't due to grief. All I knew now was; I couldn't wait for Sunday to come around!