Alternis spent much of his time avoiding people and staring out of windows. He was grateful for the comforts he was given - a place to stay, clothes to wear, people to live with - but the shadowy distance caught his eye and called to him. He would face the wind and wonder what was beyond the fortress. Cold settled in his body, stung his extremities, but he accepted the sensation in his body.
At times, he slipped out and chased after the shadows, searching for the feeling of being lost. Testing his survival instinct. Frost like teeth scraping his skin.
He met beasts out in the mountains, dragons and golems that slumbered in the ice. They did not attack him, though he did not know if it was because they considered him non-threatening or as a kindred spirit. Frostis crowded around him to protect him against the snow, chittering and worrying, nosing him towards the city.
Eventually Alternis stopped trying to escape into the mountains. He…grew attached to the warmth of the fortress, of the people there. Of the man with the kindest blade he had ever known. Of the little girl whom he had pretentions of protecting - if he could, if he knew how.
The shadowy distance and the monsters he had gotten to know grew further and further away. But, at times, when he waited by his window, frostis would come and flutter just outside. He did not know how they had found him, or why they had bothered to.
He fed them bread and scraps he hid in his shirt; little things he had found lying about. They started to come regularly, nudging the window with their faces, mouths open in expectation.
Edea was young and small, but her kindness was one of the most beautiful things Alternis could understand. He felt warm, hot even, when she was with him; he could feel the sharp edges inside of him smooth out, trying to soften.
He wanted to thank her, to return some of her kindness, but he didn't know how. Try as he might to imitate the Templar and forget the Asterisk his father had left him, Alternis was only familiar with spite and coiled resentment. He could try speaking to her, but he felt his words would not be enough. So he remained silent.
He fed frostis. There was a young one, small and bold, that made him think of Edea in a little way. It let him touch its tail, liked to rest in his cupped hands. Did not mind when he brought it inside.
He decided one day, after she had turned six years old, to give it to her.
"Ally! Did you make a friend? He's cute!"
Alternis opened his mouth slightly. Made a light noise in the back of his throat. He held out the frosti to her. The creature murmured and flexed its claws against his fingers.
"…For me? Thank you!" Edea reached out tentatively and stroked its head. The frosti chirped once. "He's soft!"
He tried to push it into her hands, to give it to her. She seemed eager to hold it. It chattered a little, struggling, but it finally allowed itself to be passed. Edea pet its round head-body, tickling its wings. It yelped and took off, flying in circles around the two of them.
"I'm sorry! Little frosti, it's okay!"
Alternis stood, frowning, and yanked it out of the air. Then he gave it back to Edea, pinning its wings to its sides. It was chattering again.
Edea was a little hesitant this time, but she patted the creature's head in an attempt to calm it. "Don't be scared. We're friends."
She brought it to her chest to give it a hug. It panicked then, beating its wings wildly and conjuring a spell halo. A piercing beam of light flung Edea away.
Alternis felt cold, cold. He heard the tiny sound of Edea starting to cry underneath the frosti's squeaking.
He reached inside, where the black core he had tried to bury resided, and he slashed. And the chattering stopped.
Warmth came back, but it was the wrong kind. His hand burned with the crimson power of fear and loathing, not unlike the red that covered his shirt.
Edea sat up and she stared, not at the two pieces of frosti, but at him. Her eyes were wide and her lips were thin. Her dress wasn't white anymore. She stared.
She swallowed, audible. Her voice shook with unshed tears. "Ally, no…"
And he realized what he had done and it made him want to die, to disappear, to remove himself from her presence. Edea, the person he wanted to protect so much, someone he loved, and here he had done something terrible in front of her. Because it was all he knew how to do.
He dropped to his knees, hunching over so she didn't have to see his chest or his face.
"Why? He was so scared, he was just like you…"
She started to cry again. He did as well, just a little.