Disclaimer: Macdutton doesn't own Bleach. And you should probably thank all eight million gods for that fact.
Thump.
Thump.
Thump.
Ulquiorra sighed. It had already been a long day dealing with the idiots that made up his colleagues. And now the one he usually got along with was keeping him awake. Ulquiorra sighed again, not bothering to move. Eventually she would stop.
An hour later Orihime knocked on the door to her cell. "E-excuse me, Ulquiorra-san, but what is that noise? It is making it rather difficult to sleep."
Haunted green eyes looked back at her. "You do not wish to know."
"But-"
"No. I am not getting involved. Neither are you." The haunted expression deepened. "Sane minds could not withstand such interference."
Almost an hour after that, Ulquiorra cracked. "Woman. We are going to investigate and put an end to this." Nodding, Orihime followed gratefully.
Approaching Tier Harribel's quarters was aggravating at the best of times. Her fraccion were indescribably infuriating most of the time, and the rest of the time… Uluqiorra had attempted to block out those memories.
The noises were louder here, and they could hear moans, thumping and the occasional scream. Apprehensively, Ulquiorra knocked on the door. "Harribel-san. You are keeping others from sleeping. I would like to request you either quieten down, stop, or provide an adequate explanation."
From the inside of the room the noises changed slightly. In between the moans, thumps and squeals, there was whispering. Shortly, came the reply, "St-stamina training. It's staminAAAHHH… For the love of god, let me get my excuse out!" This was quickly followed by a masculine shout of surprise and pain.
"What the fuck? Why did you just bite me you crazy bitch?! Those teeth are sharp!"
"Exactly! Maybe now you will let me finish my explanations before you-AAHHN!"
"OH MY GOD! AGAIN? I THINK I MIGHT DIE OF BLOOD LOSS BECAUSE OF THIS!"
Outside, the Arrancar and human were stunned for a while. "Kurosaki-kun?" Orihime managed to squeak.
Pushing the door open, Ulquiorra walked in, looking around. His eyes initially fell on the fraccion in the corner, curled into the foetal position, whimpering in horror and clawing at their faces. At least, two of them were. The other…
"Sung-Sun-san? What are you-"
"Masturbating while watching mistress Harribel. Now shush. I'm busy."
Pausing for a few seconds to process that, the pair looked at one another before looking to the bed in the centre of the room. It explained the source of the sleep depriving noises, as well as the argument they had heard.
"Kurosaki-kun? Tier-san?"
The pair looked over, Harribel's teeth still embedded in Ichigo's shoulder. "Um. Yeah. Hey, Orihime." He looked slightly embarrassed. "The rescue plan didn't exactly… go to plan." He attempted to continue, but at that moment, Harribel released her bite. Looking down, he discovered a large, ragged set of bite marks that poured blood. Calmly he looked up, before saying, "If I die, this is totally your fault and I expect you to explain it to my family."
The shark-woman simply looked at him. "You'll live. Regeneration." As she said this, Ichigo's wound rapidly began to heal. Looking surprised, he said, "Huh. Guess you're r-AAAIIIIIIEEE!"
She had bitten him again.
Through all of this, their visitors were simply stunned, blood slowly seeping from Ulquiorra's nose, while Orihime blushed bright red.
Slowly, she walked forwards before slipping out of her dress and asking with a squeak, "May I- May I join you?"
Ulquiorra shot backwards out of the door, propelled by a jet of nasal blood.
A/N: I will make no apologies for this. Although, as always, criticism and advice is well received.