Chapter One: Nightmare
by Immortelle Stalker

Stings of pain traveled along his nerves as his short nails dug on his palm from too much clenching. Waves of silent curses escaped his lips by means of hisses and huffs. Kaidoh motioned to glance at his right hand. There were small red marks that stung, but was not painful enough for someone as self-abusive as Kaidoh to fully acknowledge. He clenched his hand again, this time with more force. Anger. Frustration. Why? Why can't he seem to do the shots that were once so easy for him? The Snake. Buggy Whip Shot. Whatever people like to call it, why can't he do it anymore? His training was supposed to make him more adept. However, when he tried his swings earlier, he was nothing.

It was too much for Kaidoh. Unknowingly, he flung his right arm towards the wall, his knuckles clearly hitting the cold cement. It took a while before the skin in his knuckles broke out and blood contentedly escaped his system. Shortly, he felt his knees growing numb. What is it this time? His knees eventually gave in and fell on the damp ground.

This is not happening, he thought frantically. Was the strenuous training taking its toll on his body? Though the human body is the most efficient "machine" in the world, the fact that it is still a "machine" lives on. There are limits to this machine, and choosing to cross this limits would only lead to sad suicide.

Kaidoh's injured hand crawled down towards the ground, his wound being tainted by bits of sand and dirt. He can't give up, not now. The team has an important tournament tomorrow. He imagined the faces that would look at him tomorrow when he fails his match. Being able to play his tennis and being great at it was the only reason why he even had acquaintances. Yes, acquaintances. Sometimes, he wondered if he can call his teammates as friends. He never hanged-out with them and rarely speaks even a word to them. People only liked Kaidoh because he was a good tennis player. During matches, they cheer for his victory just like any other Seigaku supporter. Not that the fact bothered him before, though. But then, a thought crossed his mind. Kaidoh without his tennis. What is left for others to like about him, then? He is just a scary, anti-social who does not even need to exert effort into scaring freshmen. No one really bothered to be Mamushi's friend.

The pained boy scrambled to his feet and ran as fast as he could. To where, he did not know yet. He just needed to exert energy to clear his mind. But even though he haven't ran that much yet, he can feel fatigue slowing him down. Kaidoh eventually stumbled to the ground; his whole body slumped on mud. Weakly, he raised himself with his left arm. His eyes fell upon a large rock in front of him. By impulse, he grabbed the rock with his free hand and knelt on the ground. His hand squeezed the rock hard and violently smashed it onto his service hand, the already wounded hand. Kaidoh led out an aggrieved scream that echoed across the place as he continued torturing his hand. The pain was nothing. His loss was everything.

Then, a voice yelled out his name. "Kaidoh!"

Kaidoh quickly jolted up on his bed, found himself gushing out a deep, anguished groan from his throat. Sweat filled his whole body, the beads trickling down his forehead as he led out jagged breaths. "A... Nightmare," he found himself say. It was only a nightmare, yet it is as if he can still feel the pain and torment. He quickly looked at his hand. No signs of wounds or bruises.

It was too much for Kaidoh. He hurriedly got up and did his morning routines mindlessly, even missing breakfast unintentionally. By the time he gathered his thoughts, he was already halfway near Seigaku. A furious hiss escaped his lips when he realized that he was getting hungry. He stopped by a grocery store before proceeding to Saturday practice.

-----

Seishun Gakuen tennis courts. The club had already been doing activities for about an hour. Inui stood near the freshmen while doing his usual data gathering. As his eyes scanned the courts behind his glasses, he quickly noticed something missing; a green bandana on the head of a certain second year. Inui fixed his glasses and looked at his watch. Kaidoh is an hour late. It was unusual for him to be late for practice, so he wrote down the data diligently. He might want to ask the viper's reason for being late after his forty laps around the court.

A few minutes later, Kaidoh appeared on the court absent-mindedly. Inui wrote something on his notebook and waited for the boy to pass near him. "Yo," Inui greeted briefly when Kaidoh did. But from the looks of Kaidoh, he was too preoccupied to hear Inui's greeting. Inui crossed his arms over his chest. Kaidoh neither is in a good nor bad mood today. A different expression was on his protégé's face, and Inui was quite unsure of it for the first time. He got his notebook and jotted down his observation. Shortly, he came to an inference. "Chance that Kaidoh Kaoru may be troubled... seventy three percent. That is not good." He closed the notebook with one hand. "Chance that Kaidoh is going to run laps around court. Calculating his tardy time... forty laps around the court, one hundred percent."

From the other side of the court, Inui heard Tezuka give out Kaidoh's punishment for being late; forty laps around the court. Kaidoh ran out of the court to endure his punishment without a sound. "Indeed, Kaidoh is not at his best today," Inui mumbled to himself.

Shortly after practice, Inui took one last look at the almost empty tennis court. There was no sign of Kaidoh anywhere. The little mamushi slipped out easily without anyone noticing. He fixed his glasses and went to look for him.

------

The riverside had always been a good training place for Kaidoh. Somehow, he liked the fresh and quiet atmosphere. But he loved the place most because people rarely go there. No one would interrupt his contemplation. With his racket still at hand, he relaxed a bit. It was good that he can still do his thing somehow. The nightmare remains as it is. But still, it kept bothering him. And for the first time since he can remember, Kaidoh felt lonely on his own.

Above the riverside, Inui gazed at Kaidoh from afar. His data served him right once again. Kaidoh usually goes to that part of the riverside alone. He had seen him before there more than once. Since then, he secretly observed Kaidoh from afar before going home. After all, training data was as important as match data. "Maybe I should just observe him here as usual," Inui muttered to himself. But then, he saw Kaidoh mashing his racket in his head.

"Kaidoh!" Inui yelled out of the blue. Kaidoh quickly turned to Inui's direction. Seeing his senpai, he almost dropped the racket on the ground. "S-senpai..." he hushed out with surprise.

Inui felt furious. He quickly got to Kaidoh and was fighting the urge to grab the viper's shirt and yell at his face. "What have I told you before, Kaidoh?" he said in all calmness and stern mixed.

Kaidoh lowered his head. Inui told him to stop inflicting pain on himself in return for giving him extra stamina training. Though Kaidoh was overwhelmed at Inui's concern, he didn't think that his senpai would still remember that until now. "Sumimasen, senpai." he hushed out weakly.

"A tennis racket should only be used for tennis." Inui began with his gaze fixed on Kaidoh. "If you're just going to use that to torture yourself then I'm afraid I'd have to break all of your rackets right here, right now." Inui slightly bit his lip at what he said.

Kaidoh didn't respond. He wondered what made Inui say those things all of a sudden. As far as he knew the senior, Inui rarely speaks his mind, not unless it is about tennis and his data. Though he told Kaidoh before to stop hurting himself, he figured that maybe it was just a senpai looking out for his kouhai and was nothing more than that. After a short while, he thought again that maybe it was the same thing now.

"Your forehead is sore," he heard Inui say. Kaidoh looked up to face Inui. His face was stoic, as usual. Inui brought his hand to Kaidoh's forehead to examine the sore, making the kouhai turn red in an instant. He quickly moved slightly away from Inui, his face still blushing. Inui lowered his hand. "We should put ice on it quickly. My house is nearer here than yours, so if you don't mind..."

"I-I'm okay," Kaidoh quickly answered, trying to maintain his coherency. But Inui ignored the answer and slowly walked away. "If you don't follow me, then I'd work up something that would make you drink a pitcher of my Super Deluxe Penal-Tea next practice." He called back to Kaidoh.

Kaidoh grumbled as he placed his hands inside his pockets and followed Inui. "Sadist," he mumbled out of annoyance. Knowing Inui, he can do his little blackmail even with his eyes closed.

-----

Inui's house was more neat and tranquil than his last visit. Kaidoh let his eyes roam the place as Inui led him up to his room. "Take your seat. I'll get some ice in the fridge," Inui called out to Kaidoh as he disappeared into the hallway. Kaidoh hissed slightly as he took a seat on Inui's bed. His eyes fell upon the orderly-arranged green notebooks beside Inui's computer. He narrowed his eyes to read the labels on the spine. On the fourth spine, Kaidoh Kaoru was scribbled on it. It made Kaidoh's cheeks blush bright again. Somehow, he felt that there was truly someone looking out for him. But when he turned to look at the remaining spines, his hopes sank in again. Inui observes and looks out for everyone, not only him. Heck, Inui might stop collecting data on him when he leaves the tennis club. If that happens, Kaidoh would be completely alone.

"I'm back,"

Kaidoh looked up and almost jumped back at the corner of the bed. Inui was stooped down in front of him, his face uncomfortably close to his. W-when...? Wha... Kaidoh thought in panic, his face flaming up from embarrassment. Either he was all-out absorbed in his thoughts or Inui had gained a new ability of appearing in front of people's faces as well.

Inui fixed his glasses. "You're looking a bit red. A fever, maybe? But judging from your body movements earlier, there is only a ten percent possibility," he placed his hand on Kaidoh's forehead to check his temperature. The poor boy could only wish for his body to evaporate and disappear forever, cursing his irrational reasons for Inui embarrassment. Inui's hand left Kaidoh and brought it to his glasses. "Hmm... No fever. This could only mean that you are embarrassed," he said in a straightforward manner. Kaidoh glared at his senpai and slightly moved away. Tch, senpai and his data... Pfft He often felt annoyed at Inui for reading him so well without even talking to him. At the back of his mind, Kaidoh wished that Inui would just talk to him without his data blabber.

"Kaidoh," Inui began in a soft voice. "You seem troubled..."

Kaidoh looked at Inui with surprise. Not only is Inui missing his data analysis in that statement, but he asked it to him with concern. He gazed down, staring at his bare feet. As much as he wanted to tell him his troubles, Kaidoh's anti-social self kicked in mixed with his embarrassment. When he saw water drip on the floor, he quickly looked away. "The ice is melting..."

Inui quickly shifted his look on the ice bag. "Oh, sorry..." He opened the ice bag and added more ice. Then, he placed it over Kaidoh's bump. The sudden rush of cold over his warm skin made Kaidoh shiver a bit before adjusting to the new temperature. His forehead bump ached a bit from the feel of water. He wondered what could have happened if Inui wasn't there at the riverside. Maybe his forehead would be brutally bloody.

Inui was the first to break the silence between them. "Why did you hurt yourself again, Kaidoh?" He asked. "It is not good that you injure yourself when a much-awaited match is just around the corner,"

The last words sank in deep in Kaidoh's mind, then a pained chuckle echoed in. Inui was probably worried more about the effects of his gloominess on his upcoming match. It was silly of him to think and feel glad that Inui was actually... concerned about him. Not as kouhai. Not as a co-player. But as Kaidoh Kaoru. The grief was too much for him. "Why do you want to know, senpai?" he scowled with an untrusting face that took Inui aback.

It took a while for Inui to find his words. "Well..." he hushed out. "Your player condition dropped by forty-five percent, which is unhealthy and unfortunate for the upcoming match. You should consi—"

"That's it?!" Kaidoh cut off, his voice rough and disappointed. Inui lowered his hand and looked at Kaidoh with confusion. But then, he regained his stoicism with a quick fix of his glasses. "You seem to be looking for a more detailed reason, which is quite unlike you..."

Kaidoh bit his lip. He stood up and quickly left the room. But before he did, he called back to Inui, "Senpai, don't pry into my thoughts for superficial reasons like that." Then, he ran off.

"Kaidoh!" Inui called out, quickly following the boy. When he got downstairs, Kaidoh was already out of the house, leaving his tennis bag behind. Inui's shoulders slumped as he gazed at the tennis bag. "You might think I have lost my mind... But of course, there's more to my reason..." he said to himself. There is more to Inui and his concern for Kaidoh. He just couldn't find the rational words to describe how he feels. Judging from the unusual acting of Kaidoh, Inui figured that maybe it is about time to fully search the right words of explanation.

A/N: My first attempt at BL writing. Yes, my first. I've been reading a lot of BL stuff before, but I haven't tried writing one myself. Hope you like this, though. If there are still room for improvement, please let me know. ; It would be greatly appreciated. KaidohxInui is sooo love. :)