Notes:
The original works are not mine, never were, never will be. This is done purely for my own enjoyment, and yours too, should you happen to like what will follow. More specifically: some passages have been taken/paraphrased directly from the book. Those passages are obviously even less mine.
On the other hand, since there is no beta, I can lay claim to all the mistakes present in the text !
I follow my parents inside the amphitheatre that will host the Choosing Ceremony with Caleb walking beside me. He seems calm. Then again, so would I be if I knew what I was going to do. Instead I only feel dread and I need to focus to stop myself from hyperventilating.
The room is separated in three parts. One for us, the sixteen-year-olds of every Faction who are going to choose today. One for the Faction members who are attending the ceremony. The last one is for the platform with the five bowls. Each of them contains a substance representing one of the five Factions: grey stones for Abnegation, water for Erudite, earth for Amity, lit coals for Dauntless, and glass for Candor.
Before we separate, my parents come to a stop in front of Caleb and me. My father is grinning as he claps Caleb on the shoulder before kissing my forehead.
"See you soon," he says without a trace of doubt.
Then, my mother hugs me and just before she pulls away, she turns her head and whispers in my ear, "I love you. No matter what."
I look at her back as she walks away. She knows what I might do. She must know, or she wouldn't feel the need to say that. I am grateful for her reassurance.
The room slowly comes to order as we take our seats. I should be observing the Dauntless. I should be taking in as much information as I can, but I can only stare blankly in front of me.
Marcus stands at the podium and his voice is solemn as he gives a small speech to open the Choosing Ceremony. He speaks about deciding who we want to be through our choice today. My eyes shift to the bowls in the centre of the room. It is a good question but one I don't know the answer to. I know I am not selfless enough for Abnegation. Dauntless allows its members to be selfish, yes, but am I brave enough to find my place there?
I join half heartedly in the applause that resonates through the auditorium with the end of Marcus' speech. Once silence has descended on the room again, he starts to read the first names in reverse alphabetical order. I watch as my fellow sixteen year olds mainly choose to go back to the Faction they were born in. James Tucker is the first Faction transfer. Transferring is a difficult choice: it means becoming a traitor to one's former Faction and cutting all ties with one's family. Those who transfer embrace the motto of our city: 'Faction before blood'. We are taught that more than family, our Factions are what define us and where we belong. Can that possibly be right?
"Caleb Prior," says Marcus.
Caleb squeezes my hand one last time and casts a long look at me before standing up. In the blink of an eye, he is climbing confidently on the platform. He takes his knife and I watch, astonished, as he lets his blood drip into the water, turning it a deeper shade of red.
From the side of the room where the usually placid Abnegation members sit, I can hear mutters that soon lift into outraged cries. As for me, I try wrap my head around the event I just witnessed. My brother transferred.
"Excuse me," Marcus says but the crowd doesn't hear him. He shouts, "Quiet, please!"
The room goes silent and I hear my name. On my way towards the stage, I realise that absolute silence has descended upon the amphitheatre. Everyone is paying attention more than ever in a show of morbid curiosity. I can imagine their thoughts. Another Prior. Will she transfer too? It could nearly be amusing, if I wasn't asking myself the same question right now.
Halfway to the bowls, I can see myself choose Abnegation for my parents' sake. But a thought nags at me: if Caleb, the epitome of selflessness, didn't believe his place was in Abnegation, how could I ever belong there? Maybe I should follow his example. I think I could be a good Dauntless.
No, I am sure of it. I am Selfish. I am brave too. The Test said so. I could do it. I could thrive there, live my dream.
I come to a stop in front of Marcus. I take the knife he offers me and cast a look over my shoulder at my brother, who now stands behind the Erudite members. He stares back at me and nods a little, like he knows what I'm thinking, and agrees. 'No you do not.' The answering thought comes to me lightning fast and is blinding in its intensity. 'You were the one who was supposed to stay because you are the innately selfless one. Or at least you were until a few minutes ago. If you had chosen the way you were supposed to, I would have been able to leave with fewer regrets.'
I try to relax my grasp on the knife. It wouldn't do to cut my hand in two in a moment of fury. At least, the anger dulls the pain because I don't feel any when I drag the blade across my left palm. I proceed to immediately thrust my arm out toward the bowl on my far left. The audience wants a show? They will have one. Caleb should have known he can't best me in a contest of selfishness. Faction before blood after all.
Then, with a gasp I can't contain, I retract my hand before any drop of blood can fall on the coals. I cannot afford to make this choice out of anger or bitterness. I screw my eyes shut and take a deep breath through clenched teeth. I release it. I do it twice more. There. I am calmer now. After a moment of reflection, I hold my hand out again.
This time, I keep it still and my blood splatters on the stones.
For my parents, today, I take my first step on the path of selflessness.
Thoughts?
