I Know Your Heart

I started this as a series of one shots all set after the season 3 finale as sort of my speculation for season 4. I wrote them and posted them on Tumblr out of order but I am not posting them here in order. There's not much plot as much as there's character studies and some story speculation. They pick up a few days after Jane wakes up as Remi and the next 30 parts take place during different times after that, including Kurt waking up after surgery, finding out the truth about Remi, her health deteriorating, etc... They make sense when read all together, but can also be read separately. I'd love to hear what you think of this! Enjoy!

Part 1 - Regroup

Summary: A few days after waking up in the hospital, Remi realizes the world she's woken up to is not at all the one she had left. Part of the I Know Your Heart series.

Remi sat in the chair next to the hospital bed where Kurt Weller lay unconscious. It wasn't really by choice as much as keeping up the act while she tried to figure out what was going on.

Patterson had gently touched her shoulder and told her it was ok to leave work early, that they would call her if anything came up and that she needs to be by Kurt– her husband– at a time like this.

And so she went along with the charade. Until she figured out what exactly was going on, and until she could fill in the blanks of the missing time, she had to play along and not let anyone on as to who she really was. It was strange at first having to answer to Jane, but at least that part she'd gotten the hang of by now. And if she were being honest, those few quiet hours she spent at the hospital really allowed her to think, put things together, analyze, calculate and regroup.

Regroup, she could hear the voice inside her head laugh at her. There was apparently no one left to regroup with.

Shepherd was in CIA custody and Roman was dead.

Hobbes, Cade, Borden– all in CIA custody.

Oscar, Markos, Parker, Danny– all dead.

There were a few people she figured were out there, but those were foot soldiers, lowly members who had been dispensable even then, she could not imagine what use they would be now, three years later.

She tried to gather all the intel she'd had so far an try to make some sense out of it. But she just couldn't wrap her mind around most of it. And the one thing that baffled her was her marrying Kurt Weller. She remembered that getting close to him had been part of their initial plan– her plan but it had never been mentioned that she would get that close.

And what baffled her even more was the timing. They had gotten married months after the FBI had stopped Phase Two, and Shepherd had been arrested and Roman had escaped. Had that been some new back up plan that was now gone from her memory? Something they had improvised to salvage whatever was left of the op?

Surely, her marrying Kurt Weller had to have been part of their plan; it had to. She could not imagine herself getting into such an arrangement for any other reason.

She was sure it had something to do with how she had let Roman go as the FBI stopped Phase Two. She had read the reports and laughed when she read how Jane could not make the shot. Surely if this Jane had half the marksmanship skills she did, then she would have made that shot. No, she was sure letting Roman go had been part of the back up plan. It had to be. The problem was, she just could not remember what it was. Letting Roman go and entering into this sham of a marriage with Weller had to be connected somehow.

But when she went over the most recent reports detailing Roman's actions over the past two years, his goals and his endgame, she failed to recognize any of it.

She had watched the video of Jane and Weller's wedding– not the actual thing but the part with Roman at the end. She was sure it had some hidden message for her. She had watched over and over and over, analyzing every single frame, looking for clues and hints and puzzles in every word he said and every move he made and every blink of his eyes. But still, she had found nothing. That must have been a way for him to get in touch with her, why else would he have gone into the trouble? She spent hours trying to look for something, anything, that would serve as a secret message or a hint or anything. But that had only left her even more confused.

But not as confused as what he had left her after his death. If any of the information on that drive was supposed to mean anything to her, it was all gone now. She didn't recognize any of the puzzles or the hints or the algorithms or the cyphers or the codes. And nothing baffled her more than why Roman– or why the both of them– had planned to take our Shepherd's premier investor. Apparently she had been the one to pull the trigger after Roman had spent deep under cover with him, destroying his organization from the inside. But the question remained– why did they plan this? What was it they were hoping to gain?

She'd spent hours digging through the FBI data base as well. Luckily, her clearance allowed her access to almost every corner of that data base– at least one aspect from their original plan was still intact. She had looked everywhere for crumbs she'd left herself– hidden messages or a trail of… anything that would lead her back to something that would explain what was going on, but she had found nothing. Again.

It was getting a little too frustrating.

She knew she had to have been wiser than to leave anything at the apartment she shared with Weller, but as she was getting more an more desperate, she decided to check. Luckily, she had the place to herself for the time being, so she practically tore the place apart looking for intel. She started with the typical places– loose floor boards, vents and ducts, fake cupboards. But once again, she found nothing. She wondered just how deep her cover must have been that she would not even leave herself a trail to follow back.

Surely, she could not have been the careless. Unless–

No, no. There was no way she had truly turned. There was no way that any of her actions had not been part of the plan. She could not have possibly chosen this life if there had not been an endgame in sight. That was no possible.

But the question remained– what had she been doing for three years? Why had she married Kurt Weller? Who was her current handler and why had they not made contact?

So much had happened and she needed information. She realized then, as she sat a few feet away from him that she needed Kurt Weller. She needed him to wake up and soon.

She knew he had the answers, or at least some of them. She knew she could quite easily get those answers out of him– especially in the condition he would be in.