This is obviously a fanfiction. This is just an interaction I imagined between Peeta and Katniss at some point. I'm sure I'll get someone nitpicking at it - but please remember it's just a fanfiction :) I wrote this between chores around the house on tumblr today. Just thought maybe some of you would like to read it on here too! ENJOY!
7/2013 – Every so often a review on an old story I've posted prompts to reread what I'd written. This is a rewrite of the same story so if you've read it before feel free to reread it again and let me know what you think of the new version :)
Very rare is it that my mother has money to actually purchase things that we need to survive. It just happens that the mayor's daughter Madge was ill this past week and her services were called upon. It is only the mayor, after all, who is actually capable of paying for my mother's healing skills. Normally I would be upset by a request from my mother to go out in the day to make purchases for her but the nature of the errand which she asks of me causes more concern than the request itself.
You see, five years ago when I was eleven there was a time when my mother and sister were barely alive and I was so exhausted I thought dying would be the only way to escape the misery. My father had died in an explosion and I couldn't take care of my family alone. Then one night in the pouring rain I was outside the bakery here in District 12 and a young boy being punished by his mother popped out of the building with burnt bread. For some reason that night he purposely got into trouble so that he could throw me this loaf of bread. His name was Peeta Mellark and I've not forgotten his deed since.
And it's that very deed that makes today's errand the most dreadful of events, almost a terrible as the Reaping which is coming up very quickly. I keep count of the days because Gale and I enter out names too many times and get too lucky every year not to be called. It's a miracle but I fear our chances are becoming fewer and fewer. Anyway, the request my mother's made of me today is to fetch her favorite loaf of bread from the bakery. It's filled with herbs and is great for the heart, according to her at least, and wanted to dine on it tonight as a celebration for the small fortune she'd managed from the mayor. It'll be just enough to keep us until the Reaping when the rations will take the place of our filthy poverty.
"Katniss, mom wants me to wake you up. She said you need to get the bakery first in order to get the freshest loaf." Prim is sweet and I'm glad it is her that's come to get me instead of her. To call her a mother is sometimes unfair since she does nothing to help keep Prim alive, but I respect her just enough to address her as such. It doesn't pain me, though, if I don't have to speak to her directly.
"Good morning, Prim. I'll be up in just a moment." I pull myself up in the bed having been wearing one of my father's shirts. It used to cover down to my knees but I've grown taller and developed into a woman so it fits more or less like a baggy shirt. With it I am wearing the pants from yesterday's hunting escapade with Gale. There's dirt and leaves stuck to it which will undoubtedly be in the bed but I'll tend to that in the evening. For now I'm looking around at the room before I settle my eyes on Prim done up in her simple gray dress and her off white shoes. She was really the most innocent of children and Katniss was happy to be her sister.
"She's laid out some clothes for you by the tub. I know you won't like them." I look at her and thoughts of the Reaping enter back into my head. We've already submitted our names and I only allowed Prim to do it once. She'd never survive on her own in the Games. My hands are soon cupping her face and grinning lovingly at her. The girl sure does try and nobody can blame her for that. Promptly I thank her and shove her off into the makeshift living area that doubles as a kitchen and dining room. Soon I'm in the tub of barely warm water scrubbing myself for the trip into town.
I've been dealing with the Mr. Mellark for years. He has a fondness of my squirrels and very often trades me the oldest bread in the shop for a few squirrels. We usually get simple loaves or ones with odd flavors that rarely get bought but I've never complained. It's a good trade and it keeps alive. Today will be odd facing him from behind the counter to legitimately purchase one of the finest breads. What will be even more uncomfortable will be seeing Peeta Mellark in the shop face-to-face and in close proximity for the first time he gave me the bread when I was eleven. I've always owed him and I hate knowing that. He motived me to try, he motivated me to hunt. Nothing I can do will ever repay that debt.
Using a small rag to wipe my body down, I scrutinize the outfit my mom has laid out for me. It's a shiny white blouse of hers with a pair of my black slacks that wear for school. Gale asked me a long time ago to get different colored pants while hunting because he couldn't see me darting around when it got dark out. So I had to trade some game with the seamstress to get new clothes. But I never get anything for myself and that's how Prim got her gray dress she wore that morning. Frowning and dry now I decide that I must get dressed and go to the bakery.
I find Prim and my mom outside brushing her goat in the bright morning sunshine. It's a bit chilly with the wind blowing but it's a nice enough to enjoy and I find myself smiling at the two talking over Lady's excited noises and Buttercup's obnoxious meows. Certainly this is not the sort of scene I could be pictured in but it was one of the few that portrayed the proper lifestyle my sister deserved. I became bothered by the fact that it was not like this every day and remind myself that I still have to face the baker's boy.
"I'm leaving for the bakery. I should be back within the hour. When I come back we can go to the meadow." I see Prim nodding politely even though she's caught up in the special moment with their mother. It's easy to turn away feeling that she's properly being cared for but now I have to find the confidence to walk into the bakery and pretend I don't feel weak and useless in the presence of Peeta Mellark.
The only comfortable thing about my clothes was the fact that I was able to still wear my boots. They don't match and look strange against the black material but I've never been one to care about my appearance either so I shrug it off. At least I can walk with ease across the town. As I'm coming out of the area designated as the Seam I see Gale with all of his siblings. It's so strange to have that many children and live in the Seam but the Hawthorne family loves each very deeply. Much like myself, Gale would do anything for his family. We greet each other with a friendly hug which happens very rarely. I hear his sister Posy make a cooing sound that I dare not think too deeply about.
"Where are you going, Katnip? I don't think I've seen you in town during the day outside of school in years." It was true. I only came into town during school hours and I never wandered from the path. Prim sometimes wanted to go look in the windows of the little shops but I told her that we didn't need to look at the things we couldn't have. It was harsh, easily the meanest things I'd ever say to her, but nothing pained me more than not being able to give her everything.
"Madge was sick this week so mom came into some money. She asked me to get some herbal bread." The sun is in my eyes so I'm squinting now with disgust on my face. I can tell Gale is trying not to shake his head. He loves my family as much as his own but even he has a level of hatred for my mother. Too often did she shut down after my father's death leaving Prim and I to struggle to survive.
"Well, will you be 'round later?" His hands are on his hips and he coughs a little bit at the end of his sentence. Again, Posy is giggling at her brother in the background. I point my finger at her jokingly but it only worsens her laughter. Soon all the kids are giggling a bit and I know I've done it. After everyone has calmed down I look over the path into town and realize I'll need to jog to get there when they open now that I've wasted time standing her with the Hawthorne kids.
"I'm taking Prim to the meadow later on since we're not hunting tonight." I explain to him. Usually I'd take her during the evening with some empty jars so we can catch fireflies for the bedroom but today is just right for playing tag and rolling down the hill. She'll probably gather a bouquet of wild flowers for their mom, too.
"Maybe we'll come out too. Posy's been asking if she can play with Prim." Prim and Posy have different personalities as individuals but they play well together. Not too often do the Hawthorne kids come around to play since everyone has to pull their weight one way or another. Luckily, once or twice a month everyone has a little extra time to almost relax and we'll all go to the meadow for a few hours. Nodding sweetly at Gale I know there's no point in telling him not to come. I prefer spending time alone with Prim but I could tell her a story or sing songs with her on the way down at the least and those moments are every bit as special.
"That would be nice, Gale." I tap him on his shoulder awkwardly before waving at everyone with a half-hearted grin. We go our separate ways and my mind shifts back to the bakery.
I didn't know much about the Mellark family but I did know that there were three children, Peeta being the youngest one. We're the same age and I see him around school all the time. He sits by himself at lunch, as do I, and sometimes we catch each other stealing glances across the hall. We know about the burnt bread so we never actually address each other on the matter. Really, we never address each other at all. Today might be the very first time. I can't help but hope that it's not even though I owe him my life.
When I finally reach the bakery I see Peeta horsing around with his neighbor, and childhood friend as far as I could tell, Delly Cartwright. Again, I didn't know much but Delly and Peeta had always been close at school. It was an oddity to me that Delly never sat with Peeta during lunch but she was friends with everyone. Usually she went from table to table and enjoyed time with someone new each day, but always left Peeta on his own.
I can hear him tell her that he needs to start moving the flour inside before his mother sees. Delly claims that she understands and goes back to lacing shoes on a nearby porch that is probably her family's shop, I don't resent them for being close but it is painful to see two people so at ease with one another. Even Gale and I do not show such comfort with each other and for a moment I long for a bond that strong. I even think for a second that they might be a couple. Shaking the thought from my mind I slow my pace as finally reach the stairs at the bakery.
Peeta was moving a third bag of flour up into the shop. The door is propped out and I sneak in while he's out of the way grabbing the final sack. I look around and see that there are only a few loaves of bread on display. This is likely the leftover stock from yesterday and the day before. Fresh bread didn't last long and mom once said that bread is best eaten within two or three days. As harsh as Mrs. Mellark is rumored to be it would be unsurprising to me if she pitched everything at the two day mark. I'm bent over with my hands on my knees inspecting a cheese roll – which is my favorite bread – and its priced low enough that I could probably purchase it in addition to the herbal loaf my mother requested. Money is rare to have for us, and in the Seam in general, so I stand back up quickly and turn away from it. If I want it I will trade for it.
"Katniss Everdeen! I never thought I'd see you walk into the shop through the front door." It's Peeta's father and hearing him talking to me is somewhat calming. I am used to dealing with him. Casually we shake hands and I tell him how my mother has sent me. Mr. Mellark doesn't even have to ask me what bread I've come for, apparently.
"Your mother always had a taste for the herbal recipe. I've got a few in the oven now. I'll be right back." He is cheery and I can't help but think he's mismatched with his wife. I can't put my finger on it but there's something about the pairing that just doesn't work. While I am waiting I decide to walk over to the window and rest my hands on the sill. I don't see Peeta outside which means he will be walking through the door any second now. I brace myself by messing with my fingers and scratching off a scab from the minor injuring I obtained hunting a few days ago. I turn my head ready for the moment Peeta walked through the doorway.
His hair is matted to his head and I'll guess by the dirt around his neck that he'd not yet bathed for the day. Peeta doesn't notice me staring right away because he lays the flour down and brushed his hands through his hair a couple of times to rid of excess sweat. It is when he straightens his pants a bit and turns around to go back outside that he sees I'm standing in the shop. Very visibly he stops breathing and freezes in his place. Our eyes are locked and I'm lost for a moment in his blue eyes. They are different from the rest of the district in the sense that they are so bright and bold. Also, Peeta breathes an unspoken optimism and it's obvious in the way he looks at people. Admittedly he looks frightened, clearing being caught off guard by my presence in his territory.
"Hello, Peeta." I mutter cautiously. I had few personality traits similar to my mother but at times I managed her social politeness. I went forward to him, but only three of four steps. Almost immediately he started stumbling backwards a bit. It was only a split second later that his head banged into the shelf and sent a pot flying to the ground. Rushing forward I did try to grab it but it crashed against the floor before I had the opportunity.
We are only inches apart now. It is the closest we'd ever been to each other. I could feel his panicked breath against my collar bone as we gawked at one another nervously. Now would not likely be the appropriate time to thank him for the bread. Everything seems to be frozen in time as we continue standing perfectly still but a knife slices the tension when his father returns to the front with a broom and a new pot of what I can see now when I look down is sugar. He moves away from me to start the process of cleaning up and step back and press my back into the counter, still patiently awaiting the herbal bread.
As Peeta is clearing up the final bit of mess I hear shouting from the kitchen. The only clear words to me are "burned them" and "foolish child." I am smart enough to figure out that Mr. Mellark must have dropped bread into the fire when the sugar pot crashed on the floor. I feel bad that I'm the cause another incident where products are no good to be sold. It would seem these two Mellark men are destined to keep my family alive but I turn away from Peeta now.
"Peeta Mellark!" His mother shouts as she comes out into the shop. Her eyes are wildly angry and I feel a pang of protection urge me into her way. I put my hands out and shake my head at her.
"Mrs. Mellark, I'm so sorry! It was my fault. Peeta startled me when he came in with the flour and I jumped." More than once Prim has told me that I'm a terrible liar. I poured all the guilt over burnt bread into my voice hoping that it would be enough that perhaps Peeta wouldn't be smacked or beaten for his actions. And even though I had not been the one to actually topple over the pot I had been the cause. She crossed her arms and leaned into me with scents of frosting and cookies surrounding her. It was such a sweet scent for such a sour woman.
"Don't think that because you trade your illegal game with my husband that you can come into my shop and ruin my products!" She was gone almost instantly and I furrowed my brow. I was not fond of this woman by any stretch of the imagination – and I didn't have much of an imagination. When she left I bent over and picked of the pieces of glass that Peeta hadn't got to yet. He was out dumping the sugar into the trash. I step outside with him and drop what I've picked up into the trash too. A whispered 'thanks' parts his lips. I look up and see Delly watching from her porch. She's stopped lacing them and is intently staring at us. Peeta's gaze is fixed on the ground and he's the first the separate from us. I've cocked my head in wonderment but soon follow him inside silently.
Once inside he replaces the sugar and begins wiping of the counter with a wet rag. Not once does he turn his gaze to me before his father returns with not one, not two, but three slightly burnt loaves of herbal bread, I watch grateful as he pushes them into a brown bag.
"Keep it all, Mr. Mellark. It's the least I can do." I hand him the money my mother has sent with me. He tried to deny it but I turn away before he can make change and is forced to keep it. From the doorway I glance back one last time at Peeta Mellark and realize nothing will ever be enough. I hang my head low as I return back to the Seam.