You Can't but I Can
I'm working on the next chapter of "The Road Less Travelled" and hope to have it up soon. But first I just had to take a look at the end scene from "The Murdoch Sting."
"Just a moment…" William stuttered a moment after hearing Julia utter the word 'no'. "By agreeing to…" Julia felt tears rising in her eyes.
"William, I'm sorry…I just…I just can't…" She breathed raggedly. William's eye shot up to Julia's face.
"What?" He asked. There was sadness in his eyes and Julia knew she had to get away from him or she would end up confessing everything to him and she couldn't risk that. Julia moved past William and into her house, shutting the door firmly behind her. William however, followed behind her.
"Julia?" He called. When she didn't answer, he called again. "Julia?" Julia closed her eyes, trying to ignore him. This time he began to bang on the door. "Julia? Open the door." Julia couldn't hold the tears back as William's pounding became more desperate. "Julia please let me in. Julia! Julia please!" A loud sob escaped Julia's throat. William stopped his banging the moment he heard her sob. William leaned against the door.
"Julia?" He questioned but this time much softer. "Julia please let me in." Julia's sobs continued.
"William…" She wept. "Please just go." She needed him to leave before something happened to him. She needed to act so heartless that he would never want to see her again. Unfortunately, her tears were not going to be any help in convincing him. Julia tried to get her sobs under control but every time she began to regain control she would hear William pleading softly with her on the other side of the door.
"Leave me be…please." Julia gasped, her breath shuddering. On the other side of the door, William felt his own heart breaking. Not because Julia had said 'no' but because he could hear her crying. It broke his heart because there was nothing he could do. He wanted to hold her and to tell her everything would be alright. They didn't have to get married if she didn't want to.
"Julia, I just want to speak with you," William said in a hushed tone.
"No, go away." Julia responded through her tears. Her chest began to ache from the sobbing and Julia could stand no more and so she slid to the floor, bracing her back against the wooden door. William heard a thump as something hit the floor. Instantly fearing for Julia, William turned the doorknob. When it twisted under his hand, half of him gave a holler of relief while the other half berated him for not trying the door sooner. William pushed on the door and it opened just the tiniest bit. Julia gasped when she felt door being pushed open.
'I can't let him in! It's not safe for either of us!' Julia stood up, preparing to use her full body to barricade the door. However as she stood up it gave William the opportunity to push the door all the way open. Julia felt the door give way and she jumped back. William stepped into the house and immediately closed the door.
"Are you alright?" He asked, glancing at the floor and back to her. Julia turned away from William and put a hand to her mouth to stop the sob threating to break out. Julia took hold of her emotions, stemming her flowing tears.
"No! I am not alright!" She cried, despite her better judgement. William stepped forward reaching out to her. Julia stepped away causing William to frown.
"Julia…" He started, "I love you." Julia felt her heart shatter and more tears began to streak down her face before she had a chance to control them. She quickly wiped them away. "I…" He paused. "I thought you felt the same."
"Oh but I do!" The words were out of Julia's mouth before she could stop them. She closed her eyes at her stupidity and prayed that Gillies wasn't watching them at this moment.
"I don't understand." William said quietly. Julia turned to William, a desperate anger in her eyes.
"Why won't you just leave me alone?!" William stood there for a long moment looking shocked. Then he took several steps forward until he had Julia with her back pressed against a wall. William sighed deeply before looking Julia straight in the eye.
"Because I promised myself if I ever got you back I would never let you go," He whispered. That was it. Julia couldn't hold back anymore. She thought her previous tears were bad but now Julia found it hard to breath. William didn't hesitate and took the last step forward and pulled Julia into his embrace. Julia began to struggle immediately but William just held her tighter.
"I am never going to let you go," He whispered into her hair. His words were not those of a threat but ones of a promise. Julia broke and sank into William's arms. William ran a hand up and down her back while Julia gripped William's jacket tightly. William could feel Julia's legs giving out and so together they sunk to the floor.
"It's alright, shh, it's alright. We don't have to get married. If you don't want to get married we don't have to…" William reached back into his pocket and took out the tiny case that held the ring. William gently tossed the case over towards the stairs. "There see…no ring. It's alright…" He assured, thinking that marriage was the only issue at hand. Julia's eyes darted over to where the tiny case now lay on its side. The top had popped open and Julia could see the ring within. It was more beautiful than Julia could have imagined. It was more modest than the ring Darcy had given her but it was beautiful all the same.
"It's not safe," Julia whispered between sobs. It was so quite William almost missed it. He almost asked Julia to repeat herself but as she started to cry again William realized that she might not have meant to say anything at all. Safe? It wasn't safe for them to marry? William didn't understand. He assumed that Julia was just scared of getting married. Julia said that she couldn't marry him and now he knew it was because she thought it wasn't safe. A million reasons ran through William's mind. Safe…what about their marriage wasn't safe? It wasn't public shaming, they had moved past the point where it would have unacceptable for Julia to be courting someone who wasn't her dead husband. Her dead husband. Darcy. A horrible thought crossed William's mind. A thought he had put to rest.
"Gillies…" He muttered. Julia's body went rigid in his arms and it was then that William realized he had voiced his thoughts out loud. Julia's head shot up and her eyes darted around frantically, searching for the man in question.
"Julia?" William questioned slowly. Julia's eyes snapped up to his and the absolute fear in her eyes told William all he needed to know. He instantly pulled her closer and Julia did not resist.
"Has…has he approached you?" William asked. Julia sniffled, burying her face back in his chest.
"William, I can't…" She replied sadly. William snuck a finger under Julia's chin and tipped her head up, making her look at him.
"But I can." William insisted. Julia shook her head and gripped William's shoulders tightly.
"No you can't. Please…just leave. And don't come back."
"Julia!" William gasped. Julia sighed and pulled herself from William's grasp. She stood up and started moving to the stairs. William stood as well and was just in time to catch the tiny silver case that came flying at his chest.
"You should really give that ring to someone who wants it," Julia snapped. It killed her to say the words. She had probably already ruined things but she had to try and make it seem like she wanted nothing to do with him. William stepped forward and Julia raised a hand to stop him.
"William, leave. Now." She ordered. William ignored her and grabbed Julia's hips and pulled her into a fierce hug.
"Whatever he has done, whatever he has said, I will stop him." He whispered in her ear. Julia stood stock still, refusing to embrace her love. William stepped back and tucked the ring case back into his coat pocket. "I won't stop until I am sure he is dead." He promised. William moved towards the door and Julia reached out to stop him. She quickly pulled her hand back and took a sharp intake of breath.
"William," She called her voice shaking. She couldn't tell him anything but she could try to make him see the situation they were in. William glanced back at her hopefully. "I would appreciate if you would tell no one about this." Julia tried to ensure her voice said everything to William. He couldn't breathe a word of this to anyone or they would both pay the consequences. William studied her face for a long moment and just as Julia thought he wasn't going to understand, William gave a curt nod.
"Of course not." He responded. They stood in silence for several minutes. "I take it I will not be seeing you for quite some time?" He asked finally, his voice thick. He still had no what Gillies had said to Julia but he figured that if she was this upset and frightened it meant James had threatened one or both of their lives.
"I'm afraid not." She responded sadly. William nodded stiffly.
"I will endeavor to contact you discreetly once I know something." Julia nodded rigidly as well before crossing over to him. For a moment William thought she was going to kiss him.
"Be safe," She whispered. Julia allowed herself one moment to be sincere with him. She didn't know the next time she would get the chance to be this way with him. Then, as William was about to reach forward and embrace her, she roughly grabbed his arm. She opened the door and flung him out of the house.
"Julia!" He cried, confused at the sudden change in events. He stumbled from the small porch and she followed, blocking entry back into the house by standing on the edge of the porch.
"Leave William!" She screamed. Her cry brought the attention of her neighbours who instantly began watching and whispering amongst themselves. "And don't come back!"
"Julia, please!" William tried.
"I never want to see you again!" Julia cried. William's mind stopped sputtering about in confusion the moment he caught her eyes. While her voice was harsh and angry her eyes were soft and pleading. Suddenly it clicked. She was putting on a show. All he had to do was play along.
"But I love you," William returned. Julia's eyes widened at his statement. She wasn't expecting him to respond like that. But he had to if they wanted Gillies to believe them. Julia straightened her posture and set her jaw.
"I don't love you," She responded quietly. It took major strength to keep the ice in her voice as she uttered those words. She had never before said these words to William because they had never been true. They still weren't and Julia instantly wanted to take them back. But she couldn't, not yet at least. "And I haven't for some time." William's mouth moved as if he was about to say something more but instead he turned and walked sadly down her walkway. Once he had walked a fair distance down the street Julia turned her gaze to her neighbours.
"What are you staring at?" She barked, glaring at them. They instantly dispersed and moved into their houses where Julia had no doubt they would be calling each other to chatter away about what they had just seen. Julia sighed deeply and headed back into the house. She closed the door and looked sadly down at her left hand. Julia let her fingers delicately traced over her empty ring finger. She silently prayed that William would stay safe. But more than anything else she prayed that this would all be over and she would finally be allowed to marry the man she loved.