Title: Wasteland
Characters/Pairing: Zero x Kaname, with mentions of Yuuki.
Summary: AU. The world was ravaged by the bloody war between Hunters and Vampires... Made bitter by years of fighting and bloodshed, the silver-haired commander of the Hunter forces finds a familiar face from the past in a most unexpected situation. Yaoi, ZxK.
Disclaimer: I don't own Vampire Knight, this is a fanfic written for fun and for love of the series. I'm not making any money with it.
Warnings: ANGST like whoa. Also character deaths, but it's just mentioned.
Spoilers for recent chapters of the manga, particularly 35.
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"The king of the vampires himself, huh?"
"Yes, Lord Kiryuu! He was wounded in the battle and we captured him as our armies were combing through the last remains of the survivors in the castle. We brought him here and, well… we brought a lot of them here, and the rest of the men are already taking dibs and putting the beasts to a better use, if you see what I mean."
The last part was said in an emphatic tone, and the lecherous look on the soldier's face was quite obvious, there was no mistaking what he meant. "Oh, but don't worry, my lord! We saved the king for you. It's only fair, I reckon."
Zero wavered for a second. He'd been putting on a mask of vague disinterest until then, but for a split second, curiosity made him feel almost tempted to see their king. The foolish urge was quickly suppressed, a wave of anger washing through his body along with a bitterness that he'd grown used to over the years the war had lasted.
"So, what does he looks like? I bet it's another of those insupportable purebloods full of themselves."
"Aren't they all, my lord?" The soldier snickered as if sharing a good joke at the expense of the defeated side of the war, but the laughter kind of died in his throat when he saw that Kiryuu wasn't laughing at all.
The vampire kingdom was crushed, and the hunters had just triumphed in the decisive battle, the one the vampire world wouldn't get back up from.
But Zero didn't even smile back, and the soldier's face fell, worried he might have said the wrong thing. There was never how to tell what was going through the mind of their leader. He was the last survivor of the Kiryuu clan, and he had disappeared into the land over the sea for a great many years, some said because his heart broke when the woman he loved died. Other tales said that it was a man that he loved and who died, but few paid heed to such foolish tales, and only naïve maidens actually believed them.
But at long last, the silver haired knight had returned, to lead the hunter armies against the vampires, crushing them in one spectacular victory after another, until the very top of the food chain was brought down to their knees, heavy chains now bound around the wrists and ankles of the beings who once walked the Earth preying freely on mankind.
The hunter armies whispered all sorts of tales about their silver haired leader, and how he was a vampire himself, but not by birth or choice. A pureblood had killed his family, and Kiryuu hated vampires above all else. The hunters had strongly hesitated at first, but they'd been losing for so long, and now that they had him, they kept racking victory after victory. Quickly, the fact that Zero was a vampire was put aside and readily forgotten at the face of the fact that he was a genius strategist and an amazing warrior.
Now, after the recent victories in which they'd crushed the very last of the royal armies, the hunters very much adored their champion and would trust him with their very lives regardless of what he may be himself.
The soldier was fidgeting by now, Zero having been apparently deep in thought for a few moments, as if he'd forgotten that the young man was still in the command tent.
"My lord Kiryuu? Would you want us to bring you their king?"
"Hmm? No!!"
Less briskly, he added "…No, don't bother. I have no interest in the filthy bloodsuckers, beyond killing them. Give him to the troops instead, let him taste the hatred of the hunters. I'm sure they're dying to put their hands on him."
The soldier looked like he couldn't believe what he'd just heard. He practically beamed in lustful delight, before thanking his lord profusely and rushing out to give the others the good news. A king!!
Zero scowled slightly. He'd always been against the rapes that followed a victory, but there wasn't really a way to stop them, and with an army so hell bent on inflicting as much pain as they could on the hated race they'd just defeated, it was a wasted effort to try and stop each of them, so he just let them be.
Ah, Yuuki, how the world has changed since you left it. If you could see me now, would you even recognize me?
He eyed distractedly his reflection on the small square mirror hanging from a wall of his tent, there not out of vanity but just so that he could shave in the mornings.
Some of his officers decorated their tents with great pompousness, with fancy ornaments, silk and the fur of wild animals making comfortable and luxurious even a basic chair, but Zero had no interest for such things. His tent was simple and functional to a minimalist level. Bare as the wasteland his heart was now, perhaps.
He was some years older, had gained some scars, grown some dark circles under his eyes, lost some of the lanky innocence of his teenage years, but more importantly, he gained a gravity in his gaze that could pierce through the heart of lesser men in a split second. His soldiers worshipped him, but they also very much dreaded him and his cold, unflinching gaze.
If you had stayed by my side… If you two hadn't been so foolish. Would you still be alive, Yuuki? If you had come with me, rather than staying to face Rido with Kaname? Would you two still be alive?
He had refused to fight what he deemed to be a pureblood's war, back then. He'd asked her to come with him, despite her race. For them to run away across the ocean, where they may find a moment of respite before the winds of war caught up with them.
But she was decided to get her revenge, and deceived herself in her belief of being able to face Rido and win.
If Kaname had actually been there, things might have been different, but the council was also attacking them, and he wasn't with her when Yuuki took upon herself to go after Rido all alone. So perhaps, it was indeed Kaname's fault.
But hadn't he told Zero that he couldn't do anything against Rido anyway? The older pureblood had held a curse that chained Kaname's very will.
And yet, when Rido tore through the school and devoured Yuuki, Zero still blamed Kaname. How could he not, heartbroken as he was?
Kaname and him had been lovers, at once point, among the many unexplainable things that Zero wanted to forget in his past. But the bitterness of the loss tore them apart. They had been united in their love for Yuuki, and that same love for her destroyed them when they lost her.
Zero left then, and disappeared for many years. Only the plight of his own people, the race he considered his own even now that he was physically one of the enemy, managed to bring him back from his self appointed exile.
So much had changed in the world. But the vampire hegemony was no more. A new, young monarchy had emerged from the ashes of the fratricide wars with the council, but it was not long before the hunters struck it down.
Even then, the still frail and young new government of the vampires managed to lead an impressive war until now, hiding completely its leaders so that they would remain safe until the very last moment. No hunter had even seen the face of the young monarch of the vampire race, they only knew that he had taken over the throne after the Kurans fell during the last battle with the council.
Unbalanced or not, the vampire race was strong and deadly. Without Zero's providential return, the hunters would most likely have lost the war. They knew it well. There wasn't a single one of them who didn't acknowledge that they owed their victory to their leader.
But it was indeed their victory, at Zero's eyes, not his own, even if he had led them to win. There was nothing in it for him, at least not in his eyes. The men outside were probably already imagining that he would be their king now that the war would soon be over.
Maybe he would accept it, if they needed him to play yet another role. But there was no ambition in the lifeless eyes that stared back at Zero's tired face from the mirror.
No, his will to live had died long ago, on the dusty ground of the ruined academy, along with a young woman drawing her last breath in a puddle of her own blood, long brown hair splayed around her broken form as she fell.
After that, Zero was in a rage worse than anything he'd ever felt before, worse even than his fall when he was turned. And unable to bear the idea of going on any longer with the vampires, he had left, leaving Kaname to fend for himself against his uncle.
The hunter told himself the pureblood only had what he deserved.
But in the cold winter nights when Zero lay alone in his bed thinking of the past that was and the future that never would be, that cold feeling tearing at his heart would start again and again, never failing to return when he felt weak.
'You let him die…' the voice of his ruthless conscience would whisper into his ear in the dark.
'You let her die, and then you let him die, for failing to protect her when he hoped you would. You let them both down, and now you are all alone. Forever and ever.'
And that would inevitably be the moment around which he would throw off his blankets and rush outside to practice with whatever weapon he could find, to train as hard as he could and push his body until it was exhausted enough that his mind would relent for a second.
Yes, he really was alone, wasn't he? Alone for the centuries ahead. Millennia perhaps. Who knew how long a beast like him might live, with all the pure vampire blood he'd ingested, with how much he'd changed. Alone with the guilt, perhaps for all of eternity.
In a way, maybe it was to atone that he forced himself to go on living in such suffering. If only he wasn't so terribly alone, maybe he wouldn't be so lost that the only path he could take was the one immediately ahead of him, regardless of how tragic it may be. But there was no one to stand by his side and help guide him back into more peaceful waters.
And yet, his choices were so paradoxical. War had made him brutal. Years ago, he couldn't have imagined himself ordering an enemy prisoner to be given to the troops for their amusement.
The prisoner came back to his mind. He hadn't even seen him, and it's not as if he really cared, but that foolish curiosity inevitably returned. Yet another pureblood… He spat the word inside his mind as if it was a curse, more out of habit than out of rational thought. He amalgamated it all in his mind as if they were all one and same, hateful species that needed to be wiped out. So that this circle of pain would never restart again.
And yet, he didn't even really hate Kaname anymore, did he? He wasn't sure of it himself.
His heart was like a desert after he left the academy. There was nothing but ashes and desolation in it, and he hesitated in ever reopening it to see if he still possessed anything akin to what one may call feelings. Had he ever loved Kaname, even? He'd long tried to delude himself, make himself believe that he had never felt anything but lust triggered by the pureblood playing with his mind. Renewed futile attempts to feel less bad. A failure after another, until his heart was bitter enough that he no longer knew what was real feeling and what was made up memories.
He'd certainly loved Yuuki, maybe even after she returned to her original form and lost the humanity that he loved.
He'd desperately needed to hate Kaname. Because even for one so hell bent on ending his own life as Zero had been at various moment of his life, it simply was not possible to live on with the agony of having failed to prevent the death of the most important person in your life. His very soul would have shattered into a million pieces.
So, unknowingly, Zero had forced Kaname to shoulder that pain, and blamed him, repeating it within himself like a mantra in his heart until he made himself believe it.
In truth, deep inside he still hated himself just as much. Even more, perhaps, due to having denied his love for the other pureblood and forced his guilt onto him as well. That was why he couldn't face the cruel voice of his conscience in those cold nights. That was why he would flee it on and on.
But on a primal, simple survival level, Zero knew that to remain sane, and to be able to go on – even if he wasn't sure where he was going, even if he wasn't sure if he would really succeed at atoning for anything by wiping out all the purebloods and their followers—he absolutely needed to stay alive and functioning. And for that, he needed to believe in whatever excuses his mind had fabricated to justify his continued existence.
He sighed heavily, not too pleased by the direction this train of thought was taking. Wrapping himself in a thick wool coat, he strode out of his tent, intent on going for a walk around the encampment and then a final debriefing of his officers before supper was served by their field cooks.
The night was already falling –the final battle had happened by day -- as usual, as hunters specialized in surprise strikes and knew better than attacking vampires by night.
Fires were lit all over the encampment, laughter and merriment almost everywhere as the hunters celebrated their victory with much ale and boisterous joy.
The merriment was only on their side, naturally, and even with all the laughing and toasting the cries of the captives were easily discernible among the other noises of the camp. Some cried out for their lost ones, others visibly cried from a more immediate and directly physical pain.
The soldiers of the hunter army were collecting their spoils of war, and the vampires didn't have much left to offer other than their bodies.
Zero turned a deaf ear and walked away from the louder areas, resuming his walk.
Supper went uneventfully, and as fulfilling as ever, which meant not much at all, as Zero had long lost the interest for food and other such things. He habitually ate just the bare necessary to keep his lean body functioning like a well oiled machine. And even then, it was merely because he needed it to fight properly.
Either way, with the way his heart had been for the past several years, the food tasted like ashes in his mouth.
He ate alone as he always did, and then stepped out of his tent again, stretching a little, intending on having a last whiff of the fresh air before preparing for sleep.
The young soldier standing by the entry of his tent saluted from a polite distance with a stupid grin on his face.
Zero wasn't one for much talk normally, but the soldier looked so very much tempted to talk to him that he indulged.
"What's so funny?"
"I… I just wanted to thank you, my lord! I couldn't believe our luck, when they told us, you'd given us the enemy king."
"That… " Zero sneered, but it didn't dampen the spirits of the young soldier –they were all more or less used to their leader's less than charming moods.
The younger man was practically jittery, rambling on and on about how grateful they were to 'lord Kiryuu'. It made Zero vaguely sick. These men had expected him to rape the prisoner, and were now thanking him profusely for having given him to them for the same purpose.
Much as he hated the purebloods, that little voice in the back of his conscience, that would remind him of how he left Kaname at Rido's mercy, would point out that what he was doing now wasn't better than what he did in the past.
Zero stiffened, angrily forcing himself out of the musings of his guilty mind.
About that time, he caught a chunk of what the soldier had been telling him.
"…and it's really amazing, I mean, we of course knew purebloods were practically the stuff of mythology, but even among them the Kurans are incredible, that beauty, and that body… Ohhh, that body!! I never before had imagined such a-"
It took Zero a moment to register the words before he interrupted the other suddenly.
"WHAT did you say?!"
"M-my lord?"
"Their king. He's a Kuran?!"
"A… aren't they always, my lord?"
"I was under the impression the Kurans were extinct. That during their own civil war with their council, they had all perished."
"W-well, he could be lying, but he said his name was Kaname Kur-"
Zero broke out running in a mad dash and was gone before the young man could even finish his sentence.
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[tbc...]
Each time I think I have a good idea of what series I'll write next, my Muses go crazy and mess it all up with new plot ideas. XD;
This was supposed to be a shortish one-shot... Well, not anymore. XD
It became a two part fic, but the way the second chapter is going, it might end up being three chapters instead, since it's getting longer.
Angsty like whoa too. D: Poor Zero & Kaname. Sorry for all the pain. XD;;