Impossible (working title)
Disclaimer I don't own anything. Blah blah, the ususal.
Summary Takao's feelings never vanished, no matter how much he tries to tell himself otherwise…
Warnings boylove. I don't know what specifically might happen later in the fic!
Notes kindly ignore all mistakes; if someone wants to beta it that would be much appreciated. This is the first chapter of a story that shouldn't be more than 5 chapters long. Please read and enjoy the first part.
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"Hey man!"
Kai paused mid-crunch and slowly lowered to the ground, shifting sideways to face the intruder. His heart fluttered and yet he cursed mentally: once again his goal of 300 straight crunches had been interrupted a few short. Takao stood at the side of the almost-empty gym dressed in sweats and waving at him. His brilliant, ever-present grin quickly diminished Kai's annoyance, who did his best to keep some control on a cross facial expression.
Kai let his head thud back onto the ground, his abdominals sore, as Takao quickly jogged over to the emerald-green mat he lay on. He puffed out his breath slowly and sat up to do some desperately needed stretches. Takao loomed over him, blocking the daylight from the great windows lining the walls.
"Takao," Kai gritted out after a few seconds as the bluenette contemplated him.
"Eheh, sorry, didn't mean to cut your workout short," Takao told him, sounding unapologetic.
Kai looked up, schooling his features into a scathing look. "No," he said sarcastically, "Just like you didn't yesterday. Or the day before." Despite his stony demeanor, he felt conscious inside. His heavy workout rendered him sweaty and in dire need of a shower. Takao's continued presence did not help this matter.
"Awh, come on, Kai," Takao said, managing a guilty grin, "What are you trying to do, get a ten pack? You know that's not possible."
Kai rolled his eyes out of sight and stretched his neck, feeling it crack satisfactorily. He did not change his head's bowed position until the other had the decency to move and let light flood his area again.
Takao twirled shamelessly and sent a charming grin toward a woman who gave him a look from across the vast gym. She gave an uncertain smile and turned back to her treadmill. Kai watched the exchange with his legs stretched and his arms lying tiredly between them. He couldn't deny the little something that tingled inside but he ignored it determinedly.
"So," the bluenette turned to him, "The weather's great. What do you say to a light jog down the town to the park? Unless you're tired, of course." He pulled off his ever-present baseball cap and ruffled his blue mane before jamming it back on confidently. Kai watched with a mixture of affection, exasperation, and surprise. He got to his feet.
"Let me take a shower," he told the other gruffly, walking away and leaving him standing with a brilliant smile adorning his face.
It was indeed a beautiful day, even though it had started out hot and stuffy. They jogged side by side, the nearing of sunset bringing with it a light breeze to counter the heat. For a few minutes they ran in silence, companionably in agreement of it. And then Takao spoke; Kai knew that someone like him could not go very long without starting conversation.
"I've got to meet up Hilary later. Around eight."
Kai remained silent for a second, the feeling pooling into his stomach definitely unpleasant. He "hn"ed unresponsively.
Takao looked at him sideways, not breaking step. "You know, Kai, I don't know how our relationship is going. I wanted to kind of give it a small break, maybe for a couple of days. But she doesn't want to. Hilary says it's going to ruin everything."
The ex-team captain remained silent for a moment before realizing that he was expected to answer. He turned his head and gave his friend a fleeting look.
"Are you asking for advice?"
Takao's incredulous look was quickly shattered by a laugh, "Gee, Kai. Yeah, maybe I am. I mean I love her and all but I don't want something to happen to what we have. You know?"
Kai honestly didn't know. He also felt awkward and didn't have anything meaningful to say.
"Is… there a problem?" he asked finally.
For the first time that day, Takao became subdued. He stared straight ahead contemplatively as they stopped and waited at a red light. When it turned green and they continued their journey amongst the many by-passers, he spoke.
"Yeah. I don't know. I think so. I mean, we've been arguing a lot and I feel like she's not really understanding my situation. She says I don't appreciate her efforts, but I don't know. I kinda wanted some time to figure things out—ugh this is so frustrating."
"Go on." Kai felt like the least thing he could offer was to listen, whether secretly he wanted to or not.
Takao puffed out his breath and laughed lightly. "You know what, I don't know what the hell I'm saying. This feels weird and I can't even explain it. Just ignore everything I've said."
Kai shrugged noncommittally as silence once again reigned. Takao's decision to end the subject matter came as a relief, as Kai wanted no part in it. And yet, now that the subject was closed, a little part of him inwardly wanted to hear more. He felt that there was something that Takao wasn't telling him. But what he wanted… he wanted to be told things that were never going to happen.
Takao would never break off their relationship. He's in love with her. In love with her.
He stared ahead as Takao attempted to make light conversation about their days, Kai's workout program, the people walking and exercising and playing around them. They had reached the park and were down jogging down a beaten dirt path popular between the locals. Kai replied to his friend's prodding words only when absolutely necessary, falling into a calm familiarity in his friend's company.
He appreciated it, he really did. He was grateful of every second he got to spend with the man beside him. The charming, funny, caring, gorgeous bluenette that persisted in spending time with him every day. And every day Kai appreciated it and yet it hurt inside because he wished it could have been only a little different…
Kai looked ahead as they jogged over a bridge that was the mark of the dirt path ending in the open fields of the park and the beginning of it in a spiral through a luscious forest. He smelled pine and lavender and soil as they ran. The trees were a shaded gold, red, and green as the sky slowly darkened overhead and the sun emitted its beautiful spectrum of shades. Takao was saying something about their past—their final, incredible tournament—even as he puffed on his breath lightly. Kai listened and nodded and yet his mind was wandering again.
If only things had been a little different, then his life would have been perfect. He had everything he needed: great friends, experience, an education, a job, wealth, property. He had it all but the one thing his heart yearned for most. The one thing that could never ever happen to him, not the way he wanted it to.
Kai Hiwatari yearned for love.
And the only person whom he wanted it from was not only taken, but a person who could not possibly feel the same way about him. Kai looked feverishly to his right, catching Takao's bright eyes and shining expression in the dying embers of the sun. He felt a tug on his heart and his throat constricted with happiness and regret at the same time. Someone so beautiful, so loving, so understanding.
But he could not have that beauty. That love was only platonic in nature towards him. And Takao would never understand. Not this…
Takao's expression faltered slightly. "Are you alright? Kai?"
"I'm fine," Kai mumbled, looking away as they cleared the forest into another open park and simultaneously slowed down. Both of them panted lightly, both were sweaty but the air was crisp and fresh. They walked slowly through people scattered on the grass, on benches. Through running dogs and kids who were determined to play until the day's last moment. Through couples who walked and giggled and held hands affectionately.
Kai realized that the other was headed toward the artificial lake situated in the middle of the park and followed aimlessly. The advanced to the shore slowly and sat down. The lake housed a group of ducks swimming lazily in the darkening water. Amongst them, gliding majestically as though their queen, was a lone stark white swan. Her elegant neck curled and broke the surface of the glassy liquid; the ducks around it quacked in applause.
Takao and Kai watched this peculiar scene contently. The bluenette turned to his companion.
"Odd, ne. Never seen a swan like that with a bunch of ducks. It's so beautiful."
Kai shrugged a shoulder lightly in reply.
"Man, wish I could've thought of bringing a camera. This would've made an amazing photo, don't you think?" Takao mourned.
The other wordlessly reached into his back pocket and pulled out his expensive Nokia cellphone. He handed it over, silently conveying to use the excellent built-in camera it contained. Takao took it without hesitation.
"Which reminds me that I forgot my cell phone, eheh. This isn't the same as having a real camera but I guess it'll do…"
For a while, Kai simply watched as Takao took enough photos of the scene to satiate his interest. He then spontaneously dropped beside the other and shot them a photo with flash. Kai, who hadn't expected it, made a hasty grab for Takao, but the bluenette rolled away laughing and punching keys on the communication device. He hat fell away a few feet over.
"Kinomiya," Kai gritted out, leaning over to make another grab.
"There, I sent it to myself. You can delete it all you want now," Takao said triumphantly, handing the phone back willingly. Kai glared at him and stared at the photo. His expression that bordered between unawareness and surprise gave made him look funny, as though he might have just been slapped in the face. He sighed in exasperation and flipped his phone shut, regretting offering it in the first place.
Takao, smiling as ever, lay down beside him. "Don't delete those other photos I took, though. Send them to me later."
Kai snorted, "Don't count on it."
"Hey, not even you is that mean. Besides, if I don't get those photos by tomorrow then I'm sending the picture I just took of you to the media. I'll let them write up any matching story that suits them." The bluenette's grin was devilish as Kai looked down into his face, as though he would really do such a thing.
For a moment their eyes met head on and Takao fell silent as the stared into each others' orbs. Kai's heart beat furiously and his breath hitched; Takao's face was so warm and open and imploring. His hair was messy with sweat and from tumbling onto the ground, and his lips were pink and luscious and slightly open. Even in his seated position Kai's head involuntarily dipped a sixteenth of an inch, his hair falling into his face and shielding his eyes. He felt wild and crazy and out of control. And then Takao's expression changed.
"Kai—Oh shit!" he sat up suddenly, nearly colliding his head with Kai's. "Give me your phone!"
Confused, panicked, and feeling sick in his stomach, Kai recoiled further and shot him his best glare. Inwardly, he was reeling from what had almost, almost happened.
"No, really—damn it. What's the time?"
Fumbling for something to do, Kai pulled out his mobile phone and read off that it was five past eight in a voice as steady as he could make it. The sky had darkened considerably now: the lighting came from electrical poles lining the area. Most of the people were gone. In the corner of his eye Kai could see a last stroller walking away.
At hearing the time Takao became frantic, jumping to his feet quickly and picking up his hat.
"Ah, sorry Kai, but I got to run. I can't believe that I forgot about my meeting with Hilary. You know what, I'll catch you later, is that alright? Sorry. Bye!"
He jogged away quickly, his form soon becoming silhouetted and enveloped by the dark. Kai remained seated in his spot, feeling empty, eyes never leaving the distance at which his friend's back had disappeared.
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Notes second part to be uploaded tomorrow if I find reviews!