Piccolo For the Defense!
The High Chikyuu Courtroom...the place where the most serious crims are tried. A crowd starts filling in, and there's a low murmur of everybody talking at once. Whispers of the defensants name, the prosecutor, the defense attourney...it was all a jumbled mess in the air, and if one tried to sort it all out, their mind would turn into putty. The bailiff, who just happens to be Broly, calls for silence. When they don't shut up, he narrows his eyes, promting everyone to turn to him with sweatdrops on their heads and complete and utter silence follows. "That's better...." The courtroom door opens, and Vegeta walks in, wearing a suit and tie, with a briefcase in his hand. He walks over and sits at the prosecutioners table with his usual sneer on his face. Broly chuckles, watching him enter, and Vegeta shoots him a glare that could even kill the ego of the one giving it. Broly shakes his head, turning his attention from Vegeta as the judges chamber doors open. "All rise! Honorable" he pauses to snicker "Judge Roshi presiding." Roshi steps into the judges seat, oggling the girls in a porno magazine in his hands. Broly leans to the side, keeping his eyes on the rest of the court. "Pssst..." Roshi jumps, sending the mag flying backwards through the air. "Huh?! Woah!" He grins stupidly and chuckles "Please be seated..." Roshi blinks, then looks over at Broly. "Where's the defense attourney?" Broly wipes some sweat off his brow. "Hell if I know, old man!" Roshi scowels. "I'll hold you in contempt!" Broly smirks "You and what army? Your little pig friend over there?" He gestures to Oolong, who's typing everything out...badly it would seem for his lack of an opposable thumb. Roshi frowns and is about to make a statement of his own when the courtroom doors burst open and Piccolo walks in, looking rather stressed out and panting. His suit is quite a mess and his briefcase handle is broken on one side. His cape is sticking out from under his suit jacket, and he has a pair of glasses on, which fit rather oddly over his Namek sei-jin ears. He sits down at the defense table and pours himself a glass of water. Roshi stares at him. "Your late....I'm afraid I'll have to fine you..." Piccolo drinks his water, and doesn't look up at Roshi. "Try me old man..." Roshi leans over his desk and continues staring at Piccolo. Piccolo rummages through his briefcase, and spares a moment to bare his teeth at Roshi. Roshi blinks and leans back in his chair. "Well, let's bring in the defendant..." Broly works his fingers under his hat and scratches his head. "But what about his...." Roshi slams his gavel on the desk. "I said bring in the Kami forsaken defendant!" Broly shakes his head and sighs.
Broly walks back into the court room holding a bound and shackled Gokuo. He throws him into his seat, where he crashes making the chair flip over. Gokuo stands up, and Piccolo rights his seat for him, then finally sits. Roshi looks at Gokuo with a straight face. "You are accused of being a complete and utter idiot. How does the defense plead?" Gokuo scratches his head. "Cake?" Piccolo smacks him upside the head, causing his head to hit the table. "Just keep quiet....Not guilty, you honor..." Piccolo lowers his voice to complete the sentence "...less scum..." Roshi practically jumps over the desk "What was that?!" Piccolo smirks. "Nothing at all your pervertedness..." Roshi nods. "Oh alright then...HEY!!! You will address me as 'Your Honor'!!" Piccolo smirks "I just don't see that happening, old man. Take your old shriveled ass to a retirement home, and take your piggy friend along. Maybe you can make a sport out of oggling pornographic magazines." Vegeta rears his head back and laughs, as does everybody else in the courtroom, even Broly, who tries to hide it but fails miserably. Roshi frowns and hits the gavel on the desk "Shut the fuck up! I'll hold all of you in contempt!!" he looks over at a young female juror "Except you, my dear sweet..." There's a brief flash followed by a loud *SMACK* and Roshi isn't anywhere to be seen. His hand appears on the desk and he climbs back into his seat, with a large handprint on his cheek. Everybody laughs louder and Roshi sighs. "Let's just get started...."
Piccolo stands up, referring to a list on his desk. "The defense would like to..." Vegeta pushes him back into his seat. "Sorry, green-boy, I go first. Being the almighty Prince of a dead race, except for two families, I have priority. The state calls Chichi to the stand." Piccolo is about to open his mouth to say something, but Vegeta smashes him with a mallot, which is quickly thrown out the window afterwards. Piccolo sways back and forth momentarily, then pours himself a glass of water. Vegeta taps his foot impatiently. "I said...'The state calls CHICHI to the STAND!'" Chichi blinks, looking around nervously, and is about to get out of her seat when it ejects her, sending her flying accross the room. She crashes into the witness chair and lands on her head, feet in the air, but nobody bothers to help the bitch. Vegeta walks up to the stand and leans on the side of it. "Chichi, you are the wide of the defendant...correct?" Chichi rights herself in her chair, and looks at Vegeta a bit dizzily "Y..yes.." Vegeta nods. "How long has he been a fucking moron?" Piccolo jumps out of his seat "Objection! Leading the witness!" Vegeta turns around "Fuck you, green-boy!" The two of them clench their teeth and growl at each other. Roshi throws the gavel at them, which hits Piccolo square in the head, prompting him to pourhimself another glass of water. "Order in the fucking court! And please, people, watch the profanity!" Vegeta adjusts his collar and turns back to Chichi "Sorry...now answer the question or die." Piccolo is about to stand up to object, but Vegeta looks at him over his shoulder, holding a basketball sized ki ball in his hand. Piccolo pours himself some water instead. Chichi hesitates, looking over at her husband, who looks thoroughly confused. "...As long as I've known him.." Vegeta smirks "As I thought. And isn't it true that you had to trick him into marrying you?" Chichi sobs "Yes..." Vegeta's smirk seemingly broadens "No further questions..." He returns to his seat and looks at Piccolo. "Your witnes....freak." Piccolo glares at him and stands up with a scowl.
"Miss...Chichi, is it?" Chichi blinks. "Oh come on Piccolo, you know me...all those special times...!!!! I mean!...yes, that's correct...." she sinks into her chair blushing, while Roshi seems confused, wondering how that's quite possible. Piccolo scratches the back of his neck "Ahem...anyway....isn't it true that your husband was dropped on his head as a child?" Chichi nods. Roshi looks over at Oolong. "Let the record show that the witness is nodding. And also...let the record show that Juror number 4 (the one from before) is unbelievably..." *SMACK* Roshi gets back into his chair "Carry on..." Piccolo shakes his head at the old man. "Isn't it also true that he's had some traumatic experiences?" Vegeta jumps up "Objection!" Piccolo spins around "On what grounds?!" Vegeta grins and fires a final flash at Piccolo that he'd been holding in. "This ground..." Piccolo blinks through a blackened face, and his glasses swing off one ear then fall to the floor. "Yes...well.....alrighty then...No further questions..." Piccolo leans over next to Chichi "I'll see you later..." Chichi blushes again and Piccolo walks back to his seat. Chichi waits for Broly to help her down, but when she looks over the large Saiyajin is playing on a gameboy. She sighs "What a dick..." She climbs down and returns to her seat.
"The state calls Son Gohan to the stand." Gohan crashes through the roof and lands in the witness chair. He looks around "What the hell?" Vegeta skips any explanatino. "Son Gohan...is your father in fact a blithering idiot?" Gohan hesitates, then burts into tears. "It's true, it's true! His IQ is lower than the Ginyu forces! It's humiliating to have been smarter than him when I was 2 months old! May Kami have mercy on his moronic soul!" Vegeta pats him on the back "There there....it's ok....I mean, erm...that's right! The state rests...." Piccolo blinks "Rests?! We just got started!" Vegeta returns to his seat "Yeah, but your case is hopeless and I have an extremely attractive wife waiting for me at home wearing the new silk..." he starts drooling. Roshi's tongue falls out of his head as thoughts of Bulma enter his head. Vegeta looks up, shakes himself out of his trance and blasts the old man off his chair. Piccolo stands up, rips the suit off revealing his everyday clothes. "Well..I tried...but Gokuo really IS a moron! Just look at him! This man once gave Cell a senzu in the middle of a fight!" Piccolo picks Gokuo up and starts shaking him "What the hell is wrong with you?!" Gokuo's eyes rolls around and his head rattles "Cake? Rice?!" Piccolo screams in frustration and jams Gokuo back in his seat. "You see what I mean?! He's an idiot! The man has serious issues!!!! I can sight several events in the past where he's proven his idiocy!" Roshi scratches his head "I thought you were defending him?" Piccolo trembles "I could never defend a man that doesn't even know the meaning of puntang...." Gokuo tilts his head to the side "Pie?" Piccolo backhands him accross the face. Roshi shrugs "Then the punishment is...a continued marriage to Chichi...with no food." Vegeta shudders at the thought and Gokuo falls to his knees "Dear Kami no!!!!!!!!!!" Broly drags Gokuo out of the room by his hair, the latter Saiyajin kicking and screaming. Roshi looks around the court. "Let us all remember what has transpired this day...and let us also remember that Juror Number 4 is...." *SMACK*