The first thing that popped into her head was the fact that she was proud. Proud of Dianna, proud of her courage. The second was the fact that she was scared. And the third? Well, that was the fact that she knew what Dianna was doing, she always did, and she needed to trust her.
She smiled softly at the blonde, briefly glancing down to the letters that read 'LIKES GIRLS' on her shirt, and met her amber eyes once more. Her expression softened, and she reached out to grab the taller girl's hand.
"Break a leg," Lea winked.
The stage man behind her urged Lea, once again, that it was really time to get ready for her performance of Firework. She ignored him completely though, lost in the eyes that were searching hers for the strength that she thought she needed-that Lea knew she had.
Dianna squeezed her hand at her words, gently circling her thumb over the brunette's hand.
"And if the backlash gets out of hand..." The blonde trailed off, sucking her bottom lip between her teeth and chewing on it gently.
She was nervous.
She'd never been this nervous before.
Lea stepped in closer to her, the most encouraging and supportive smile on her face.
"Then it gets out of hand," she shrugged nonchalantly. "This is for you, Di. Not the cast, not the fans, not for me, not the rumors... It's for you. Don't forget that."
And it was for Dianna. She'd been lying and avoiding and simply being untrue to herself, and it wasn't fair to her to continue such a lifestyle. She couldn't be herself, why? Because of the fame? For fear of losing her job?
Her job sent the message that it was all right to be who you were-to not have to lie to please others. For fear of what would happen if you told the truth.
It wasn't right, and Dianna was done.
Lea knew it, too.
"But you're-"
"Don't worry about me, Di. Please don't."
But she would always worry about her. Partly because when she finally goes out onto that stage and confirms what the rumors have been spreading like wildfire with regard to her sexual orientation, the gossip mill would look back on every interaction she'd had with anyone... And more than half of those interactions involved Lea. The other part? Well, she was worried because the tiny, energetic brunette that was standing in front of her with such love in her eyes? She'd be affected and Dianna didn't know how much so.
That's what was worrying her. That's what was weighing her down. The unknown.
Dianna had thought long and hard about how she wanted to tackle this.
She wasn't one to open up and voice all of her feelings. She'd stayed quiet; she'd read; she'd written a few lines in her journal just to try and make sense of her thoughts. She'd been willingly lost in her own world, trying to make sense of the chaos that surrounded her on a daily basis.
Yes, she'd struggled with the fact that she liked girls for a long time.
Yes, she'd been depressed and confused and she'd felt so many emotions at one time that she felt like she was going to implode.
And yes, she'd had to lie about who she was on multiple occasions.
But no, that wasn't all right.
It wasn't all right to be a part of a show that sends the message that it's okay to be who we are-to not have to hide the little things about us-and listen when the Higher Ups tell an individual to act normal. To tone it down.
And honestly, the only thought she'd had on that statement was, "What the fuck are you trying to say?"
Because what was normal?
She'd started to believe that normal was an offensive term at that moment.
"Don't worry about you? Lee, this involves you."
The stage man impatiently tapped the brunette on the shoulder once more. A reminder.
But more of an annoyance than anything.
Lea let out a steadying breath. She really wasn't in the mood to go off on the poor man.
"I-I know. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little... nervous, but we can handle this, okay? The backlash. The gossip. But Di, we'll have support too, you know."
Dianna closed her eyes, exhaling a deep breath she hadn't been aware that she'd been holding in.
The brunette waited patiently and stepped in closer to her, brushing a strand of her hair from face. She let her hand linger over the side of her face, tracing her thumb along her cheek bone.
It was barely noticeable, but she could see Dianna relax every so slightly at her touch.
She loved having that ability.
Truly.
"I know."
And it was quiet, but Lea heard her response despite the concert taking place a few feet from them.
The stage man issued another warning "Lea," and she lifted her hand, extending her pointer finger to silently ask for another minute. She hadn't bothered to turn around to face him; she wasn't trying to be rude, but she was kind of in the middle of something.
She huffed.
She hated interruptions.
When Dianna finally opened her eyes again, the corner of Lea's mouth turned upward into a lopsided smile.
"I love you, Di."
And the blonde finally smiled.
She leaned in to place a soft, quick kiss to the brunette's lips. For strength, for love, for them.
"I love you, too."
Their eyes locked and neither woman looked away until every silent word in their private conversation had been spoken. Every encouraging word, every sign of love, every ounce of support.
Dianna was the first to look away, and she squeezed Lea's hand one last time before dropping it gently and stepping back. With a quick turn on her heel, her black and white Converse digging into the floor, Dianna was on her way to the stairs that would take her up onto the stage in which she'd be able to be open to everyone, to be herself.
Finally.
She turned, however, before she took that first step.
"Thank you," Dianna spoke loudly, enough to get her voice above the music, and her expression was just so... so grateful and something else that the brunette ran over to her.
Lea kissed her again, her lips lingering over the blonde's.
"Go get 'em."
With a final nod, Dianna bounced up the stairs with a smile that she couldn't wipe off of her face, even if she'd wanted to.
And Lea, watching as she stepped onto the stage, wore a smile that said everything all at once-I love you, I support you, thank you.