a.n: this is just a funny thought I had while watching the first episode of Full Metal Alchemist again. It's mostly from my commentary… I tend to mutter to myself when I'm interested in something. Hehe enjoy!
Disclaimer: I wish, but no, Full Metal Alchemist and all its glory does not belong to me.
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"Man that guy was an ass!" Edward fell back with an exasperated sigh. His blonde head hit the back of the couch and he let out a string of curses.
"Dammit, whose stupid idea was it to watch this? AND HOW COME NOBODY TOLD ME THIS WAS A SHOW UNTIL AFTER THE RECORDING?!" the short- I mean vertically challenged teen screamed into a now def Roy Mustang that sat beside him.
"Well, you're definitely not afraid to show your emotions…" The older man muttered under his breath. "And wasn't it you who suggested that we all watch this since you never saw it?"
Everyone was gathered at the Colonel's house for a reviewing of the show. It had been almost two weeks after the recording of Full Metal Alchemist and Edward Elric had only just found out. Yeah, and he was just about pissed, and a little flustered at the fact that everyone around the world saw everything he did in those six years of travel. Bits of popcorn laid scattered at the carelessness of the guests, while their eyes were glued to the screen. Edward had decided to watch the series from the very first episode, and then refused to leave until said series was finished watching. The rest of the guest agreed with the statement with Maes quoting 'a giant sleep over!'
"Come on Ed, we just started and you're already pouting!" Winry rolled her eyes at the scene playing before her. After seeing the so called 'profit' Cornello yet again, the little blonde had to resist the urge to throw the couch at the TV.
"No rose. Take a good look!" The sound of shredding fabric filled the room. "Look! Is this what you really want?!" the Edward playing on the screen had just ripped his shirt off at the confrontation of Cornello and Rose.
The real Ed had deeply reddened and buried his face in a near by pillow. Even Rose who sat across from the older Elric on the floor had blushed and looked away. Roy Mustang couldn't help but let out a fit of laughter that soon became contagious. Soon Havoc, Rose, Winry, Al, Falman and even Riza Hawkeye and the others began to laugh at the display. Edward, still red by the embarrassment, began to threaten every last one of them.
"Jeez! Cut me some slack! I was trying to be convincing dammit!" He smacked the pillow at a still laughing Roy.
"Yeah Ed, you really were convincing. 'Is this what you really want?!' I don't know about Rose, but I sure want some of that!" Winry continued to laugh loudly and poke fun at her best friend of many years.
"Just play it already…" The frustrated teen continued to grumble.
"Before we do," Roy had somewhat calmed down by now, "Might I add that you look exceptionally well with leather skin tight pants on? Bow chika wah wah!" Everyone began to laugh so hard they doubled over with the pain in their stomachs. The show was still playing even though most people were occupied at the moment.
"I'm gonna get some more coke." He mumbled and rose from the couch and headed towards the kitchen. Roy was still having trouble regaining his composure from his outbursts, while attempting to take deep serious breaths, his head snapped towards the kitchen when he heard a sound of glass breaking.
"Dammit! Hey Colonel Bastard, where're your freakin' cups?!" another sound of glass shattering filled the air with words something along the lines of "I hope that wasn't a China dish." Roy rolled his eyes and stood.
'He barely knows the difference from a butcher knife and a spoon.' His onyx eyes danced wickedly as Roy thought with humor. He left the group of friends to help his slightly height disabled blonde.
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"Did you pause the show? And where did Edward and Roy go?" Lust, whose real name was Sarai, looked around in confusion. By one of the couches on the floor sat Sarai, Maes, and Gracia waiting patiently for the show to start up again.
"Not to worry Sarai, you come in soon if that's what you're wondering." Maes laughed and pat her on the shoulder. In her mind she thought it was time to spice this party up.
"Oh no, that's not what I'm worried about," she waved a hand in the air to dismiss the thought. "I just hope you could forgive me for being such a meanie to you!" fake tears welled in her big violet eyes as she held on tightly to his sleeve.
"Ahem..." Gracia who was sitting on the other side of her husband cleared her throat. Maes and Sarai acted as if she hadn't interrupted and continued their 'conversation'.
"Oh of course I can forgive you Sarai darling… but you were a very bad girl… I don't know if I should punish you…and how…" Maes pretended to be deeply in thought.
"I know! There this deliciously putrid game I've heard of," she suggested, "it's so horrible it normally leaves poor little girls like me screaming." She smirked dangerously as she twirled a strand of black hair on her pretty little head.
"Oh, now what was it…. Oh yes, I believe its called strip poker. I just hope nothing bad will happen if you punish me." She poked her bottom lip out in pretense grief. Sarai was so caught up in her innuendo conversation that neither she nor Maes Hughes see Gracia glaring fire daggers at both of their heads.
"I believe there's a movie you just have to see, Sarai sweetie." Gracia spat the other female's name like it was venom in her mouth. "By all means, I would love to join you on that cute little game of yours, but this movie can help you along with your…problem." She smiled a venomous smile.
"It's called Lady and the Tramp. Though I highly doubt that you're the lady." Gracia not- so- quietly mumbled the after thought. Maes sat between the two women, and he began to sweat.
'Damn... Gracia's gonna shit a chicken when we get home. Why can't I think with my mind instead of my lower body?!!' he mentally scolded himself, while Sarai and his wife silently bitched over who should be more offended.
"Well excuse me for trying to actually add some lust into this poor man's life. After all, that is my professional name, is it not?" Sarai sounded as if she was about to lose her cool as her now squinted violet eyes flashed treacherously.
"Well excuse me for trying to suck the slutty, conceited, lust filled life outta you!" Gracia rolled up her sleeves and took out her earrings, prepared for a brutal fight.
"Uh, I think I'll go lend Roy and Edward a hand." Maes attempted to sit up, only for his arms to be almost dislocated by each of the women on either side of him.
"You sit your ass down!" both women almost blew his hearing into the afterlife.
It was going to be a long night.
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"Envy, would you care to tell me what you're doing to my pillow?" A vein was revealed in Winry's anger towards to perverted 'homunculi'.
"But my beautiful little blossom, I thought you didn't mind my 'harmless rearrangement'. I'm just situating us so we can be closer together. It's just not fair that that short nuisance Edward get all the attention from you." He snuggled his nose into her blonde locks and inhaled deeply to smell the delicious scent of peaches. Winry shoved the flirtatious man away from her hair and shuddered in disgust.
"Don't you have a wife or something? You really need to get a life you know…" she mumbled. The pissed off blonde resituated herself to squeeze onto the couch with 'Sloth' and Ed and Al's mother. Sloth was really Trisha's twin sister, which made her their aunt. When the short blonde found out, he nearly lost his shit when the woman tried to embrace him.
Well hello auntie Camellia.
He then passed out from the overload of information consisting of family. Of course it was horrible to make a 'kind of' realistic series without the main character knowing. It was a show, but some of the things that happened weren't really planned. Like actually finding out that Furher King Bradley was homunculi, I mean he was but kind of wasn't… it's hard to explain if you haven't noticed. The same thing goes for the other homunculi. They were supposed to play the role of homunculi, but got a little too caught up in the character. Plus the fact that Ed and Al's mom didn't really die nor Maes. It's almost impossible to make sense of it but you'll get a hang of it… eventually.
Enough said.
Anyway, the two boys' journey was somewhat real, but with a few artificial fillings. Like when Colonel Roy Mustang and Edward had to battle in the military arena because that wasn't even in the Colonel's script.
"Where are you going my little cherry blossom?" Envy who's name was James looked up towards Winry when she stood.
"I'm going to ask Ed if we can start the show again." She said hurriedly and dashed out of the living area. 'More like to get away from your sorry pathetic ass.' She snickered while walking down the short hallway to the kitchen.
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"Edward, I would really like it if you wouldn't break my dishes." Roy leaned coolly on the doorframe of his kitchen entranced. The eighteen year old snapped around at the sudden intruding voice. He was trying to reach the glass ups on the far upper shelf and ended up breaking two more dishes when he suddenly turned.
"Dammit! You could at least let me know you're here before you try sneaking up on me!" he yelled while clenching his pacing heart beat. Roy just chuckled and stepped closer to the blonde.
"You need some help?" the onyx eyed man stopped in front of his long time friend. A vein showed on the little man's forehead when he processed that information.
"What do you mean by 'I need help?'? You think I'm mental or something?" he popped a fist in the Colonel's face. The older man put his hand on the other's and lowered it.
"Now, now Edward. No need to be fretting when I'm just lending a hand." He smiled that delicious, sexy, hot- sorry, got into the moment. Well he smirked coyly and laid his hand on Edward's shoulder, as the teen blushed profusely. 'Why am I blushing?! Dammit Ed get a hold of yourself! But, that smile… it's so ho-'He decided to stop his thoughts at that point and shook his head to get the now forming very bad thoughts out of his head. Roy leaned closer into Edward, and just when Ed thought his head was going to blow, Roy leaned back out and stuck the glass cup into his hands.
"Now see that? All you had to do was ask for it. And you know whatever you want I'll give it to you." He bent down to the younger's level and was almost an inch away from the boy's mouth.
"And besides, this is what you wanted isn't it?" his deep voice was almost a whisper as he said the teasing statement. Edward found his eyes slowly closing as his body was telling him to close the distance between them, but his mind was telling him to push the royal bastard away from him.
Too bad his mind was shutting down each second that passed.
He couldn't help the soft moan that escaped his lips when the older man pressed his body closer to Edward's. All of the boy's senses were on the frits as the space between them became smaller. The luscious smell of cinnamon coming from the man's delectable mouth, his long onyx eyelashes lay against his soft pale cheeks, and especially how a soft low chuckle was rumbling from his throat. Ed's hand's reached out to caress the other man's face when he found himself fighting to push him away, but yet found himself clinging, and bringing their bodies closer as the heat began to pick up.
Roy finally spoke. "Oh I'm sorry, do you need a little more space?" the question would've been barely audible if Edward wasn't so near him. He could barely control the nod of his head shaking no, wanting the onyx eyed man to close the space between them. And to make things worst, he felt the normally cool space of his black leather pants tighten.
"Ahem…" Winry was leaning on the doorframe smirking evilly. She seemed to be enjoying the sight before her.
"And here I thought I could get away from all the lust filled romance in the living room, and now I stumble upon this pretty sight." She giggled madly. Roy turned around slowly, all the while glaring at the evil blonde teen.
"Pay up." She held her hand out.
Edward was stilled dazed by the current shut down in his mind. But soon his eyes opened widely at his friend's demand.
"Wait, what does she mean by pay up?" he scooted beside the Colonel and stared curiously with a mix of anger. Roy rubbed the back of his neck with embarrassment and with the fact that he just got caught.
"Well your little lover man here bet me that he could seduce then get you to kiss him by twelve o'clock. On. The. Dot. And from the clock over there, it's twelve o one sweetie." She smiled sweetly. Edward's gaze turned into a death glare as he clenched the cup angrily.
"YOU DID WHAT?!" he once again screamed furiously into the older man's ears. Roy backed up slowly and cautiously.
"Now, now Ed, no need to get mad. You have to admit, that was very enticing don't you think? And what's a joke between two enemies?" he asked glaring daggers at the teenage girl, sending the death massage of 'I'm going to make sure you regret opening your mouth' look. They both ducked when two glasses came flying at their heads. They looked up to see the lithe boy with two giant pans in hand, with what looked like a lifetime supply of plates stacked by his feet.
"BASTARD!!!"
The pair quickly jumped to their feet and began to run for their pathetic lives. But that's what happens when you mess with the Full Metal Alchemist right?
And sometimes, we all just need a little more space.
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Hehe, I hoped at least some of you like my newest creation! I was really just bored and decided to make a fan fiction of my boredom and Full Metal Alchemist. The things a crazy fangirl can think of… REVIEW PLEASE!!!