This took four months.
.
1
.
The first time Ty Lee kissed Azula they were eight.
It was a sunny afternoon that Azula and her friends were known to spend in the courtyard of the palace. They would usually practice doing cartwheels, Ty Lee succeeding a lot more than Azula, to her displeasure, while Mai would sit in the shade. Sometimes they would sit by the fountain and throw food to the turtleducks, never listening to Azula's suggestion that they join her in throwing rocks at them.
That day, Mai was absent due to some family reunion, that no matter how important, Azula still considered it unimportant in relation to spending time with her, the princess. Mai never spoke much when they hung out, but her absence was noted and disrupted the harmony of the group. Azula and Ty Lee were bored, not knowing what to do. Everything was just slightly off without her presence; they quickly grew tired of doing gymnastics with no one to make sarcastic comments, and without Mai looking embarrassed after Zuko walked by, Azula had no one to make fun and scared off the turtleducks too quickly.
Well, with nothing in mind to do, Azula sat on the ground with her back against a tree, with her legs extended lazily and in her hands a tiny flame. She began to pass it from one finger to another.
Ty Lee preferred to lay in the grass next to Azula, staring at the light that passed throught the branches of the tree.
"It's cause her aura is grey. You see, mine's is pink and hers is grey. Yours is purple, but like a dark grayish purple sometimes, so we balance you out. Without Mai, we lose that. Maybe that's why we're so bored."
Azula didn't stir.
Ty Lee looked at her, realizing she wasn't paying any attention to her. Azula's eyebrows were scrunched up in concentration, and while her eyes were looking at the flames, her mind was somewhere else. Ty Lee knew that look; Azula was thinking hard. That was never good in Azula.
Ty Lee wasn't the most observant person, but she had noticed bruises and burns. Sometimes even a crack in Azula's perfect façade. She knew something was hurting Azula. She just didn't know what.
She also knew that asking would get her nowhere.
She wanted to comfort Azula, she just didn't know how.
Like always, she decided the best course of action was to distract her. If Azula didn't want to deal with it, she wasn't going to push. She would help however she could, whether it was messing up a hand stand even though it was second nature to her, or, she admitted, play dumb to amuse her. She normally smiled a lot, but she tried to be extra happy around excited around Azula to try and cheer her up, even if Azula berated her for it.
"Azula," she tried, as she sat up next to her.
No response.
There are two things Ty Lee has always been; impulsive and very touchy feely. So in her rush to maybe rip Azula from her thoughts, she didn't ponder any of the consequences of what she was about to do.
So she did it.
She put her hand on Azula's cheek tenderly but quickly. Their eyes met for a second, Azula startled, something in her golden eyes akin to confusion, but Ty Lee didn't spare a second to understand it. In a moment, their lips were touching.
In that moment, Azula stood completely still, not breathing at all.
Ty Lee didn't move either, not from shock, but from a mix of inexperience and amusement. It felt funny, kissing Azula, her soft lips in her trembling ones. She thinks of other people she has seen kiss, prompting her to try and move her lips. She feels as if her lips are being tickled and smiles and giggles. Unfortunately, this caused Azula to react from her stupor and push away Ty Lee.
"What do you think you're doing!", Azula whined. It was uncharacteristically high and girly, more like the eight year old she was than the perfect princess she portrayed. She also sported a small blush.
Only then, Ty Lee realized that perhaps this would end badly.
"I, um, I just, I thought it would help."
"Help what?". Azula sounded incredibly distressed. "Proper ladies don't kiss other ladies Ty Lee."
Ty Lee cringed.
"I know, Azula. I know, I just–"
"You just what, Ty Lee?"
"I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking and–"
"Of course you weren't, you never do."
With that, and one of her infamous dirty looks thrown at Ty Lee, she got up and left. Ty Lee stayed behind, curled up and wept.
.
2
.
They never talked about that kiss until the next one, many years later.
They were now thirteen, and studying at the Royal Fire Academy for Girls. Of course, they were the most popular girls at the school. Everybody wanted to be friends with them, but they weren't interested in any more friends. Ty Lee felt as if it was Azula, Mai, and her against the world.
Nonetheless, she still loved going to any parties or reunions that the students made. Azula and Mai didn't, but she knew how to convince them to accompany her. Being almost royalty even among the noble students, they were invited to all the parties.
Tonight, a girl named Norena was having a reunion in her dorm room. Well, that was what Ty Lee had told Azula, so that she would go with her, since Azula didn't go to parties. Something about proper ladies not partying. When the three of them arrived at the dorm, they were greeted by a bunch of girls sitting on the floor. They were talking and drinking some popular beverage that was basically tea spiked with Fire Sake. Ty Lee quickly took a spot on the floor and pulled Azula down before she had time to protest about the unclean seating arrangement.
And so, aside from the alcohol, it was a standard girls night. Obviously they quickly reached the topic of boys.
"Oh my Agni, Kai is the cutest. He plans to become an admiral like his father", Norena began.
"Is that who you are going to marry?", asked another girl.
"Yes, I don't understand how some people dislike arranged marriages. If you're worth anything, you'll find someone as incredible as you."
"Well I'm going to marry a noble from the Southern Isles. He is rich and is an amazing kisser.", added another girl.
"Me too, the boys from there are so beautiful and charming and don't get me started on how great kissers they are."
"They're like tongue benders, am I right?", joked Ty Lee. All the girls laughed except for Azula, who gagged. Even Mai had to give her credit for that.
"Seriously, Ty Lee? That's disgusting," Azula frowned.
"C'mon, Azula," Norena started, "Don't tell me you don't love kissing your betrothed."
"Well, I'd say no since I'm not engaged to anyone. Except for the Fire Nation, of course. There is no time for boys when there is so much work to do. Ba Sing Se still needs to be taken, some colonies in the far East are still unstable and prone to rebellions, and that's only the start."
The other girls watched in an awkward silence as the princess got more passionate in her speech. It was a miracle that flames weren't coming out of her hands.
"Why would I think about boys when I need to worry on giving our Nation the land and power that it deserves for its clear superiority? "
"Uhm… you are right? But Azula, you're the princess, you don't need to worry about that stuff. War is for men, anyways."
"Yeah, you should be thinking about marriage and kids and romance."
"Speaking of romance, have you girls read Love Amongst the Dragons? I finished it last week and it is so perfect!"
"Duh! Do you think we live in a cave?"
"My mother had the biggest crush on Noren, the main character, so she named me after him. You could say love is my destiny", said Norena
The other girls squealed at how cute it was, even Ty Lee who had never read the story. Everyone except Mai and Azula swooned at how sweet it was. The two girls gave each other looks of disgust.
"Oh come on you two. Okay, I get that maybe not everyone dreams of a fairytale love story, but… You got to admit that boys heat you up in a way that not even firebending can."
"Boys are fine.", Mai says as she shrugs and looks away. The girls were pleased with her enthusiasm. This left all the attention on Azula.
Azula crossed her arms and gave her a dirty look. Traitor, she thought.
"I assure you my firebending heats me up just fine. The idea of joining lips with someone doesn't appeal to me in the slightest."
"The idea? Wait, have you never kissed anyone?", said Norena, starting to smirk.
"Of course I have! But it's none of your business. You know what, I'm done participating in such frivolous meaningless conversation. These types of gossip are for peasants anyway."
Azula got up and angrily stormed out of the room. Silence filled the room until they could no longer hear the princess.
"So… she's never kissed anyone", said Norena.
They all agreed in chorus and giggled, except Ty Lee who was blushing.
Mai gave her a curious look, lifting her eyebrow. Ty Lee tried to ignore her, joining in on the conversation.
…
The next day, Ty Lee went to go get breakfast. As she reached the cafeteria doors, she ran into Azula.
"Oh, good morning Azula. Did you already get us a table?"
"I already ate." Azula said seriously as she walked away.
"Um, okay, well I hope your tummy is full.", she yelled happily at her and entered the cafeteria. Azula didn't look back.
Good job, Ty Lee. That couldn't have been any more awkward, she thought.
…...
The sun was setting and Ty Lee had not seen Azula again. She had asked Mai if she had talked to her, but Mai replied that she had not seen the princess all day. That meant that Azula was not only avoiding Ty Lee, but all of her friends. She was worried because she knew how Azula could get when she let her negative emotions fester.
She decided to go find her.
She went to all of the places she thought Azula would be; the dojo, the library, and her room. Azula was nowhere to be found. The more she was unable to find her, the more she worried.
Ty Lee kept looking all over the school grounds. She had to be there somewhere. She wouldn't leave the school, for that meant running the chance of spoiling her spotless record. Ty Lee was walking through the woods, knowing she would have to turn back before it got too late. She decided to go to the Lake, and if she didn't find Azula, she'd go back.
"Maybe I can wait for her outside her room.", Ty Lee spoke out loud to herself.
"Wait for who outside of their room?", asked Azula, who appeared from behind a tree, causing Ty Lee to jump.
"Azula! You scared me. Where have you been? I've been looking for you everywhere."
Ty Lee went and hugged Azula, who awkwardly hugged back. The hug was so short that Ty Lee couldn't take in the things she usually did, like her aroma and the way their bodies fit together. Azula took a step back.
"What's wrong, Azula? It's not like you to disappear all day. I even asked Mai."
"Well, some of us like our privacy. Not everyone can spend every day surrounded by idiots who only care about superficial things like hair and makeup." Azula said as she walked away, heading towards the dorms. Ty Lee followed her.
"Well, that's true but I can't help but worry if you disappear and your aura is this dull. Normally it so bright and defined… Azula, are you okay?"
Azula stopped and turned around to face Ty Lee. They were in the middle of the path that lead to school, but not near enough to see the building.
"I'm fine. I don't see why I wouldn't be." Azula spit out venomously. Her face was stoic when she said it. "Now that you saw me, you can go back to do stretches or whatever it is you do in your free time."
Azula started walking away when her friend grabbed her wrist. Her immediate reaction was to defend herself. She grabbed Ty Lee's wrist and bended it at a painful angle. Azula looked at Ty Lee, whose eyes were filled with a combination of hurt and worry. Azula let go of her strong grip and went to hold her hand.
"I'm sorry", said Azula, as apologetic as she could, which wasn't very much.
"I just wanted to help.", Ty Lee responded, starting to sniffle. "It's just that you disappeared all day and I got worried. I shouldn't have pushed, I'll leave now. Just know that you can talk to me, Azula, you're not alone."
Azula watched as Ty Lee started walking away, and began to feel a heavy weight settle in her chest.
…
Ty Lee was trying to do some history homework in her room. After her encounter with Azula, she had spent the evening trying to ignore the argument. She wasn't the one that was supposed to be upset; she wasn't the one who had blown up at her best friend. Ty Lee knew that the whole situation was dumb. They were obviously upset over nothing, and yet, she was still offended by what had happened.
She tried to start some homework to ignore the event. She had tried to read her history assignment, but every time she got bored she would find herself doing flips and cartwheels, which would obviously steal all her attention.
She was scolding herself for ignoring her history assignment, when she heard a knock. She got up and opened the door, shocked to find Azula outside. She had changed into the clothes that she used to train martial arts. The clothes were white, the top being a v-neck. Her pants were slightly loose. She had her signature hairstyle. She looked perfect.
"Oh, hey Azula." she tried to say casually. She was still bothered. "What a surprise to see you here. Um, do you need something?"
Azula looked uncomfortable standing in the doorway. In her hand, she was carrying a bag full of Fire Worms. Her nerves were noticeable considering she was playing with the knot of the bag. That was odd, considering Azula was never nervous.
"No, actually, I'm here to hang out with you. Is it a bad time?". Ty Lee took the time to look at Azula out of her element. She was really awkward, her weight moving from one foot to the other. Ty Lee found it amusing to see her so uncomfortable. She held out the bag with the candy. "This is for you by the way"
"Wow, thanks Azula. These are my favorite."
Ty Lee grabbed the bag and beamed. Ty Lee reconsidered how angry she was towards Azula, because Azula had never done anything like this before. She decided to let it go. Also, nothing really even happened to begin with.
"So, is it a bad time?"
"No, no, it's a great time. I was just getting some homework done, so you can just sit while I finish."
Azula nodded.
"What's the homework about?"
"It's about, um how the Fire Sages got replaced by the Fire Lord a few decades ago. Something like that."
"What? Fire Sages still exist, Ty Lee. Also, that dispute was before Fire Lord Sozin, not a couple of decades."
"Well, I would know that if I had done the homework, but I haven't done it yet."
Azula gave her a strange look, like she didn't know whether to be surprised or dumbfounded.
"I could help you a little, if you want," she tried to smile at Ty Lee, but it looked awkward and forced.
Ty Lee had her doubts, but she reconsidered things; she had tried to concentrate all afternoon and couldn't.
"Sure! Thanks Azula."
They entered the room and sat at the wooden desk together. Their knees touched, causing them to quickly look at each other before turning back to the texts. They began to look over the lecture, which Azula tried to explain in the simplest way possible to Ty Lee. Still, Ty Lee was never a fan of history, and quickly grew bored; she opted to stare at the ceiling while Azula read the text and broke it down.
"You're not paying attention.", Azula accused.
Ty Lee sighed loudly.
"Yeah, I'm sorry. Im just not getting it"
"Then instead of apologizing, try harder."
Ty Lee sighed louder.
"Azula, I know you're trying to help, but I know I'm not meant for this stuff. We've been at this for nearly an hour and we haven't even finished the first chapter. I'm not smart like you and Mai, I read this and I get a headache. I'm probably gonna end up in a circus or something. I'm just dumb."
"Ty Lee, I forbid you to talk like that. I choose my friends very wisely, and I would never choose you if you weren't special."
"Really?"
"Of course."
Ty Lee hugs her, wrapping her tightly in her arms. She hums a thank you into Azula's hair. She takes a deep breath and appreciates the way Azula's hair smells like cedarwood and something sweet.
"Ty Lee, are you done?"
Ty Lee snaps out of her trance and blushes, sitting back in her seat.
"Sorry, it's just been a long day and what you said was so sweet."
Azula flinches, knowing that she is the reason Ty Lee was worried and stressed all day. This was heading to a corny corner and it was not Azula's favorite direction. She decided they had bonded enough for the night and really, she doubted they could advance any more in the history assignment.
…
A few minutes after Azula´s departure from the room, Ty Lee heard another knock. She was even more surprised this time at seeing Azula.
"I´m wearing white.", Azula said, as if that explained her return.
"And it looks great on you! But why are you back?"
"Have you not noticed the huge storm outside?"
She looked out the window, and saw what Azula was talking about. It was raining turtleducks and platypus bears.
"Huh. It was probably cause I was walking on my hands, so I couldn't see the window from that angle. ", said Ty Lee.
"It´s ridiculous. I can bend lightning but I can't go to my room because of some stupid wardrobe malfunction."
Ty Lee´s eyebrows knitted in confusion.
"Wait, I mean you can obviously stay til the storm passes, but what do your clothes have to do with anything?"
"I´ll get wet and my clothes will become see through, and I refuse to walk across the dorms practically naked."
Ty Lee began to cough loudly, trying to get that mental image out of her head. At this rate, they'd both be getting wet. Azula rolled her eyes and walked past Ty Lee, into the room.
"Oh, yeah, of course", Ty Lee stuttered out.
Ty Lee closed the door and walked behind Azula.
Azula took off her shoes and put them neatly next to the bed and sat on the bed with her back against the headboard. Ty Lee decided to lie next to her. Azula started ranting about how she had to reread an essay that she had finished for her politics class and how the storm wasn't letting her.
Ty Lee nodded, trying to pretend she was paying attention and not thinking of Azula in wet clothing.
At some point during the rant, Ty Lee jokingly suggested that she could always lend her clothes, which was met with an abrupt negative leaving no room for discussion. Maybe she was tired, maybe she didn't want to face the rain at all. Maybe she wanted to stay with Ty Lee.
"Alrighty, it was just a suggestion anyway. You know you're welcome to stay anytime. So… What do you want to do?"
"Well, we can talk. Catch me up on yesterday's party. What happened after I left?"
"Nothing much, they just kept talking about boys and kissing. Although when Norena got a bit tipsy at the end, she told us Riza was actually missing class because she has lice, not because of a family reunion. That was scandalous I guess."
"Ty Lee, have you ever kissed a boy?", Azula asked out of the azul. She stared at Ty Lee like she was planning something. Ty Lee blushed under her fixed gaze and looked away.
"Well… that was out of nowhere. Yeah, I have. Nothing serious though, like none were my fiancé, you know cause I don't have one," Ty Lee chuckled nervously, noticing that Azula was still looking at her, "it was mostly just for fun".
"Is it really so fun like you all said?", she asked thoughtfully.
"Yeah, at the beginning it's a bit awkward cause you don't really know what to do, and some boys aren't very good, but I enjoy it."
"Why?"
"Why? Umm, that's a weird question. I guess, well it's just, no, wait, well… To be honest, I just do. It's not exactly a science. I would probably hate it if it was."
"I just guess I can't imagine how an act so… lewd would be fun."
"It's not lewd, it's pretty normal, I could even show you." Ty Lee regretted the words as soon as they came out of her mouth. Sure, Azula was attractive, more than that actually. Ty Lee considered her to be breathtakingly beautiful, and she had always felt herself drawn to Azula, but that didn't mean she wanted to kiss her. That was just another level. "Wait, I didn't mean that, Im sorry. I just don't think before I talk, or think that much at all."
She tried to laugh at herself to ease the situation.
"Really? I wouldn't mind. It's not a big deal, it could even help me. You know, to please my future husband."
Ty Lee could feel her head pounding. She could feel her cheeks blushing.
"A-Are you sure?"
"Of course. I like to master all the skills I can. Plus, at least you asked this time beforehand. I just hope this one can be more informative." Azula smirked as she watched Ty Lee get even redder at her last comment. They had never spoken of that, and she imagined if the other girl had never brought it up it was due to embarrassment.
Ty Lee cleared her throat and came really close to Azula, "Um, okay, first we close our eyes-"
Azula laughed softly. "That much is obvious."
"Yeah, hehe, sorry."
Azula closed her eyes and waited for Ty Lee to kiss her. She licked her bottom lip, not knowing that Ty Lee was looking at her and nearly fainting because of it. Did she really not know what effect she could have on her?
After a few seconds of tension, Azula grew inpatient. Did Ty Lee not want to kiss her? What if she had been too forward, too needy? Maybe there was a reason nobody had kissed her before. Just because Ty Lee was nice, didn't mean she actually wanted to kiss her. She suddenly felt unsure and embarrassed at having proposed anything at all.
Just as she went to open her eyes and ask Ty Lee why she hadn't done anything yet, Ty Lee cupped her cheeks and pressed her lips to Azula's. Suddenly all the air inside of Azula was gone. Any doubts she had were gone, mostly because all thought evaded her head. She felt so much at once. She felt fire like never before running through her system. Her stomach was doing somersaults.
Ty Lee's lips felt warm against her own. She was tingly all over. Azula had never felt anything like this before. She finally understood why everyone talked about kissing like it was some heavenly, divine thing. She felt like she was soaring.
Then Ty Lee moved her lips, firmly but tenderly.
Azula tried to react and copy her, but she was overwhelmed. She tried to move her lips or move her hands but she didn't know where or how and everything felt so good and new. Her head was racing and yet she didn't have any coherent thoughts except Ty Lee's lips and her hands on her cheek.
Azula's hands were stiff beside her, until Ty Lee grabbed one of them and put it on her hips. Once Azula began to run her hands along her hips, Ty Lee's hand went back to where it was before. Except it didn't. It went to grab the back of her neck and it sent shivers down her spine.
Ty Lee ran her tongue along Azula's bottom lip.
Azula moaned. Loudly.
The sound made Ty Lee's lip tremble and she really wanted to hear it again. It also made her want to stop. This had gone a lot farther than she had expected. She didn't want to stop, which was all the more reason she should.
Ty Lee pulled away reluctantly. They looked at each other, breathing heavily. Azula watched as Ty Lee's eyes moved from hers to her lips.
"So… did you have fun?"
"It was," Azula trembled, "informative."
Silence then filled the room and it was incredibly uncomfortable. They looked at anything besides each other. Azula was trying to think of something to say when she looked at the window and saw that it was no longer raining. She was relieved to have such an easy way out.
"So the storm passed. I should be getting back to my room."
"Oh." Ty Lee looked like she wanted to say something else, or cry. "Good night."
"Good night." Azula replied as she left the room.
.
3
.
A year and a half passed.
This was enough time for classes to end and send the students home, Ty Lee to run away with the circus instead, and for Azula to continue her firebending studies at home with some of the most prestigious masters of the nation, training eight hours a day. It was enough time for Admiral Zhao to fail his campaign against the North Pole, Zuko and Iroh to be branded traitors, and Azula to be sent to capture them, along with the avatar.
So she made her self-proclaimed elite team which included Mai and Ty Lee.
As soon as her father designated enough ships, tanks and men for the quest, Azula took it upon herself to search for her friends. First, she went to find Ty Lee. Even though she had feigned innocence when Ty Lee disappeared, she knew where she had gone. They have been good friends and that meant enduring many hours of circus talk.
When they saw each other, after all that time, they hugged. It wasn't awkward like it used to be, after the kiss. They never talked about it, Azula pretending that it had been enough to sate her curiosity. She continued to deem kisses as overrated and frivolous, especially for someone as important as her. Ty Lee also ignored the kiss, never admitting how it had affected her and so, until now, they had had a tension, that was split between crazy chemistry and something inherently sexual.
Azula thought that she would have to use her manipulative tactics to convince Ty Lee to join her, but as soon they hugged, she felt more at ease than she had all year. With Mai in Omashu and Ty Lee gone, she had spent the whole time training and participating in political discussions with her father.
She loved it of course, but with the never ending seriousness that plagued her life, this was refreshing.
Even though Ty Lee was the one who initiated the hug, Azula still melted into it.
….
It had been a few hours since they had set up their tents, but Ty Lee had been unable to get any rest.
Mai and Ty Lee had reunited with Azula after unsuccessfully capturing the Avatar, which had left the princess in a sour mood. Ty Lee supposed finding the avatar at all was already a huge win, considering he had been missing for 100 years.
Ty Lee thought to bring this up, but seeing as Azula was already angry at them for losing to those she had deemed Water Tribe peasants and an overgrown flying mutt, she kept quiet.
Not seeing herself getting any sleep any time soon, she decided to go for a walk outside.
She left her tent, stepping out into the chilly night air. She wasn't particularly fond of the weather in the Earth Kingdom. She had always preferred the hot climate of the Fire Nation, where even the nights were warm.
The terrain was boring; the only things near the camp were rocks and a small river. Anything exciting to be found was too far away and Ty Lee wasn't willing to walk that much to see different types of rocks. After a short, uneventful walk, she headed back to her tent. When she got there, she saw a small light coming from Azula's tent. Happy to find something to do instead of stare at the inside of her tent, she walked towards Azula's and pulled open the flap.
"Hey Azula!"
Azula was startled by the intruder in her tent and she gasped loudly. The flame that had been coming from her finger turned off and they were momentarily left in darkness. Azula quickly went to turn it on again, the new fire flickering before taking the shape Azula wanted.
"Oh, sorry Azula, did I scare you?", Ty Lee said as she crawled into the tent and sat in front of Azula.
Azula was sitting up, her back against some pillows and a book in her other hand. She had taken off her hairpiece, letting her black hair fall down over her shoulders. She still had her clothes on, to always be ready for battle. The glow of the fire reflected on her skin, this time it wasn't her signature blue but it was orange and it suited her factions, especially her golden eyes.
"What are you doing in my tent?", Azula asked, ignoring Ty Lee's question.
"I couldn't sleep. It's as if the moon was calling me, like all water tribe or something. So I went for a walk, but the Earth Kingdom isn't pretty like home. Everything looks the same. Then I saw you were awake and that was the best surprise I could get. So I guess I came to surprise you too.", Ty Lee finished cheerily.
Azula almost smiled.
"You should go get some rest, Ty Lee. We have to be up bright and early if we are to catch the Avatar. "
Ty Lee's smile disappeared, replaced by a small pout.
"Can't I stay here with you? I promise I'll be quiet and let you read. It's just that my tent is so boring. "
"I'm sure that we have the same tent Ty Lee. There's nothing here that you won't see in yours."
"There's you! Even if you're just gonna read, you're more fun to look at", Ty Lee said innocently. Azula's flame shook a little at the comment. "But are you really that busy? Cause if not we can catch up. We haven't seen each other in more than a year!"
"Well I am, but I can tell you're not going to let me get any work done." Azula sighed loudly. She laid down into the pillows on her side, her hand holding her head and putting her book aside. The room didn't go dark because she shot a flame to a candle she had in a corner. Ty Lee wondered why she hadn't done this before. "Well, aren't you going to ask me what I did during the year?"
Ty Lee beamed and positioned herself by her side, sitting in front of her.
"Why, yes, yes. So, what did you do while I was at the circus?"
"I mostly practiced my bending. As the crown princess, I didn't have time to do much else besides train and help dad plan attacks. He said that I am already better than most of his generals and advisers. How about you? How was the circus?"
"It was awesome. We did shows almost every night, except when we were traveling from one city to another. Some of the people I met were really kind. They were from all over the nation."
Azula regretted asking Ty Lee about the circus when she started telling her about Roco, the cockroach that she had trained to do cartwheels with her. The story got even weirder when she said that he was what she missed the most. She kept talking about every little detail that Azula didn't care for.
She was tuning out when Ty Lee started talking about a boy who had stayed after the show to talk to her.
"He was really sweet. He worked in the market, selling fish, so he smelled like fish, but it wasn't that bad. At least his mouth didn't taste like it. That would've been super gross."
Azula didn't reply. She was livid, but she didn't know why. The idea of Ty Lee kissing other people was… distasteful to say the least. The princess considered it was because she hadn't kissed anyone else since her friend and thought it ridiculous that she was less desirable than Ty Lee. Sure, Ty Lee was beautiful, but Azula was exquisite and so, it didn't seem fair that Ty Lee was more in demand.
"Hey, Azula," Ty Lee said while moving her hand in front of the others face, "earth to Azula. Or should I say fire to Azula, cause that's your element."
"What Ty Lee?", she said sharply, so sharp that it could puncture the hull of an empire-class Fire Nation battle ship, leaving thousands to drown at sea. Ty Lee flinched at her tone.
"Sorry, you just zoned out, I didn't know what to do." She started, toying with her braid. Azula sighed, feeling something strange at seeing Ty Lee so hurt from her outburst. "Did I do something wrong?"
"No, it's just that…", Azula paused, unsure of how to continue. Should she tell the truth? Normal friends talked about this kind of things anyway, "you can't kiss me and then go kiss other people who smell like fish, Ty Lee. You just disappointed me, I thought you had standards."
Ty Lee's eyes and mouth opened in response to what Azula said. Her friend had sounded unusually offended over such a silly topic.
"Umm, what?"
"You get to kiss Fire Nation royalty and then you go off to kiss some filthy peasant. It's degrading, Ty Lee."
"But, I didn't, I didn't kiss you because you're a princess. And anyway, I kiss whoever I find cute."
"So you find some fish boy as cute as me."
"That's not what I said!"
"Well, that's how it sounded. It doesn't matter anyway. I've moved on to bigger things.", Azula replied, looking away, trying to sound dignified and uncaring.
"Really, who'd you kiss?", Ty Lee asked, excited again, forgetting the topic on hand.
"Ugh, I never said I kissed anyone. I merely said that I have better things to do now. I don't have time to waste."
"But I'm wasting your time right now. You could be kissing someone and it would be the same thing!"
Azula scrunched her nose up in disgust and groaned.
"What? Our last kiss wasn't that bad.", Ty Lee said confidently. When Azula looked away and stayed quiet, Ty Lee began to doubt it. "Was it? Because I thought it was great."
"No, I guess it wasn't that bad.", Azula replied coolly.
"Then what's the problem? You're acting as if they were gross or something."
"Well no, they weren't bad. I just haven't had anyone worth my time or my lips."
"That's true, you do have great lips. I think anyone would be honored to kiss you", Ty Lee agreed. Then casually added, "We could always kiss again, you know, cause we've kissed before. And I don't smell like fish, and were not doing anything so it wouldn't be a waste of time."
Azula smirked and Ty Lee blushed.
"I never expected you to be so forward. It's a bit desperate, don't you think, a bit over confident too."
In front of Azula's comment, Ty Lee felt embarrassed and exposed.
"It was just an idea", she mumbled, looking down at her feet. "It didn't bother you last time so I thought I'd give it a try. Sorry, Azula."
"But I didn't say no. You may kiss me, Ty Lee," she replied with a smug smile and a mischievous glint in her eyes.
Ty Lee looked up, slightly smirking. She laid down beside of Azula. Her hand pushed Azula's locks behind her ear. Her hand moved slowly down Azula's neck, pushing any hair away. Ty Lee got closer to Azula, who closed her eyes. Their lips brushed lightly, not enough for Azula's tastes, and Ty Lee moved towards her neck before Azula had a chance to bring her closer and seal their lips.
Azula felt Ty Lee's hot breath on her neck, and tried not to shiver. But when Ty Lee whispered into her ear how much she wanted her, she found it impossible not to.
Ty Lee gracefully lowered her head and softly kissed Azula´s neck. Her lips lingered there before starting to kiss her again. She began with light pecks that soon became longer, with Ty Lee kissing anywhere the collar allowed her to. Azula had never felt anything so intimate.
Azula's eyes opened, her pupils dilating. She stared at the top of the tent, completely lost in the sensation of Ty Lee´s hot breath on her neck. Knowing that Ty Lee wanted her made her stomach drop.
Azula's hands went to pull Ty Lee's face towards her to kiss her, but Ty Lee pushed them away and continued peppering her neck with light kisses. Azula's collar didn't give much room for Ty Lee to kiss, prompting her to pull it down with her fingers. Her hand continued its descent, running it down along her shoulders. Her hands stopped when they reached the other girl's hips. She pulled her towards her, now properly kissing her where her neck and shoulders met.
Azula had been confused as to why Ty Lee wasn't kissing her lips, but now she understood. What Ty Lee was doing felt incredible. Azula whimpered, moving her head to give Ty Lee more room. Her body moved towards Ty Lee. Even though they were closer and it felt good, it still wasn't enough for either of them. The position was very limiting. Azula remembered how Ty Lee had guided her hands during their last kiss, prompting her to put her hands on the elastic of her pants; a safe place.
They continued like that for a few seconds, until Azula squirmed again and their legs crashed uncomfortably as she tried to get closer. Ty Lee decided to switch positions. She pushed Azula on her back and moved to sit on her lap. The unexpected contact surprised Azula and her hips bucked up unconsciously, while she took in a deep breath. The friction that the movement had caused felt oddly good, causing her to blush. That wasn't something that had ever happened to her before. Ty Lee saw the confusion and embarrassment on Azula's face. Not wanting to laugh to not ruin the moment, she decided to kiss her. She smiled into the kiss, trying to keep her laughter under control. Ty Lee felt Azula breath out shakily, before beginning to kiss her back. She was uncertain how to move, causing Ty Lee to smile even more. How could someone so intimidating and so callous be so clueless about these things?
Ty Lee took control of the kiss; she wasn't the most experienced, but she clearly knew more than Azula. Laying on top of her, she ran her tongue over Azula's bottom lip. Her teeth slid against Azula's lip, sucking on it softly before going back to kissing her fervently. Azula responded by wrapping her arms possessively around the small of Ty Lee's back. Azula's cold hand startled Ty Lee but she liked the light patterns her fingers began to draw on her skin.
The kiss went on, longer and more passionate each second. Azula felt Ty Lee's tongue tracing along her lips, prompting her to open her mouth. Her tongue tentatively explored Azula's mouth, both of them lost in the feeling of each other. They separated to catch their breaths, before going back at it. This continued, both of them feeling warm and out of breath. That's why when they heard a noise outside the tent, they were alarmed. Ty Lee jumped away immediately, panicked, while Azula looked confused and began to sit up, putting her weight on her elbows. They waited in silence for a few seconds, except for their labored breaths. They looked at each other, the air tense.
They didn't hear anything else.
"Should I go outside and check what it was?", Ty Lee asked, her voice lacking all of its usual enthusiasm.
"No", Azula rasped out, clearing her throat several times after. Azula found that her voice felt deep and raspy, as if she had just woken up. Ty Lee chuckled at Azula's attempts to clear her voice. "Just put your head out and look around."
Ty Lee nodded and got up to check. She opened the flap and looked around, her eyes no longer used to the darkness outside. She didn't see anything and went back in.
"I didn't see anything."
"It was probably just an animal.", Azula said quietly.
Ty Lee sat down again, on the other side of the tent. Azula was still sitting up, her breath now more under control. Her lips were swollen and redder. Her hair was messy but to Ty Lee she was still breathtaking. Azula noticed that Ty Lee was staring at her hungrily, that made her feel just as heated as when they were kissing. She wanted to keep doing that very much.
"Are you tired?", Ty Lee asked, to decide whether to go to her tent or stay here and… she didn't even know what was going to happen between them.
"No."
The space inside the tent was tense. Ty Lee looked around awkwardly, unsure of what else to say or do. They both wanted the same thing but neither of them was uninhibited enough to admit it.
"We should turn off the light. If there's an enemy outside, it's best that we don't bring attention to us", Azula offered. Ty Lee nodded, confused with the logic Azula had used but nonetheless didn't question it. She waited for Azula to turn it off with her bending.
When the flame from the candle disappeared, the tent became pitch black and they couldn't see each other. The air became even tenser. Ty Lee, unsure of what was the etiquette for situations this uncomfortable, decided to inch closer to Azula. She was sure that Azula wouldn't be closed off to the idea, if her earlier reaction was anything to go by.
Azula was unable to see Ty Lee's movements until she was right in front of her. Azula could feel Ty Lee's body on top of her legs, and she could slightly see the outline of her face. Then, a kiss. Ty Lee started off slow but everything was more sensual than before with the light on. Every sensation Azula felt resonated deeper in her than before. With the kiss escalating, she was swimming in hotness. They kissed intensely for various minutes, running their hands up and down each other's bodies, passionately grabbing and pulling each other closer.
Then Ty Lee was pushing Azula on her back and positioning herself next to her with their legs intertwined, not once stopping the kiss. Azula pulled her closer, hooking her arms around Ty Lee's neck, holding her tightly. Their breasts pressed together wonderfully. She moaned into the kiss. Azula lowered her arms to Ty Lee's shoulders, scratching her along the way, evoking a shiver from Ty Lee. Encouraged by that, she lowered her hands once more to Ty Lee's lower back, where she was uncovered. Azula traced her back muscles with her nails, making Ty Lee groan. The sound sent a rush of heat to Azula's lower stomach and lingered there.
Ty Lee moved away just enough to stop the kiss. She moved her lips to Azula's jawline, starting to kiss her there. She continued up, stopping to suck on Azula's earlobe. Then she moved down to Azula's neck, where she took her time. She kissed all of Azula's neck, occasionally stopping when she shuddered visibly, to suck on that spot. Azula had no control or knowledge of the sounds coming from her mouth, considering all she could think about was how good it felt and how she never wanted it to stop.
The forearm that was supporting Ty Lee's weight grew tired, so she put all her weight on top of Azula. The leg between Azula's thighs that had earlier been relaxed was now bent, sort of kneeling and holding Ty Lee up over Azula. Unfortunately when Ty Lee went to kiss her, her leg pressed against Azula's center. Azula immediately tensed, confused at what she had just felt. She stilled, cautious of whatever had just happened. Ty Lee blushed, and smiled sheepishly before moving her leg back an inch. Ty Lee went to kiss Azula, who was unable to shake off the sensation, but was soon distracted.
In the new position, Ty Lee now had more space for her hands to roam. Her hands began to trace Azula's sides, but this soon bored her and she moved her hand over Azula's ribs. It went higher and it stopped right before her breast. Azula took a sharp intake of breath in anticipation, but to Azula's dismay, Ty Lee took her hand off. Azula groaned disapprovingly at the loss.
"Azula", Ty Lee tried between kisses. Azula moaned, agreeing. "Should… we…like… stop?"
Azula kept kissing her, ignoring what she said.
"Umm…", Ty Lee tried to continue but Azula kissed her harder, as if trying to shut her up. She momentarily forgot what she wanted to say, but then Ty Lee repeated the question.
"Why? No." Azula breathed out, exasperated at how Ty Lee wouldn't stop talking.
"I just… aren't we going too far?"
"Stop talking.", replied Azula, who sucked on Ty Lee's lip to silence her and dissipate any doubt she had. Afraid of Ty Lee stopping again, Azula kissed her harder than before, desperate to not get interrupted again, rushed.
Ty Lee was relieved at not having to stop, reveling in the sensations and liking this new eager facet of the princess. Her hand, that had slipped to Azula's side in her attempt to reason, went back to where it was before and moved higher until it was effectively cupping her breast. Azula gasped and bit Ty Lee's lip, then soothed it with her tongue. Ty Lee tentatively began to squeeze it, a little rough due to all the clothes they were wearing.
Azula felt good but also uncomfortable, not knowing what she wanted. She knew she wanted something, but didn't know what. Everything felt right but it didn't feel like it was enough. She wanted Ty Lee all over her, but she already had her. Everything she did put her in more of a daze and she couldn't get enough. Having memorized the small of her back, she moved her hands, wanting to touch her more. Her hands lowered and they reached her butt. There was so much to grab and it was firm and Azula loved it. Ty Lee loved it too. Azula pulled her down against her to have a better reach, but then Azula's center encountered her undoing; Ty Lee's thigh.
Azula moaned loudly, finally realizing what was missing. She was glad, something had been going on down there for a while and she hadn't known what. It had been uncomfortable and new to her, but at the same time it had been calling for her to do something about it. Well now she was answering that call. Her hips bucked and the friction was exquisite. She did it again. And again. She was so lost in the pleasure that she wasn't even kissing Ty Lee back. Ty Lee tried to get her to move her lips, but Azula could only think of moving her hips, each time faster and meeting Ty Lee's very firm thighs. Seeing as she was getting nowhere with Azula's mouth, she decided to focus her energy somewhere else.
Ty Lee began to suck on her neck, also feeling Azula's thigh between her own. She occasionally got distracted by it, causing her to bite or suck harder than intended, but she didn't worry over it. Azula was moaning quite loudly. Ty Lee didn't think anything was going to happen, considering they were wearing clothes. She relaxed and concentrated on grinding herself on Azula's leg as well, it was everything pressed up against everything.
Azula was feeling lightheaded, still desperately bucking on. Her hands grabbed tighter as she felt her pleasure get stronger, building up with every contact. Her head was spinning, a pulsating feeling running through her. She began to shake uncontrollably. Her thighs began to quiver. She grabbed Ty Lee's shoulders hard, digging her nails and swallowed a gasped moan.
She blacked out.
Ty Lee looked at her, scared and embarrassed and confused. The princess was lying under her, limp with her eyes closed. It took her a moment to take in what had just happened, but once she did she couldn't hold back her laughter.
Seconds later, Azula opened her eyes to find Ty Lee still laughing. She was confused, but felt relaxed and calm.
"Why are you laughing?"
Ty Lee looked at Azula, unsure of what to say but unable to stop herself from laughing. She kept laughing, not showing any signs of stopping. Azula decided to ignore her annoying friend, too focused on how her body buzzed to get angry. She laid back deeper into the pillows, closing her eyes and enjoying the moment. Ty Lee eventually stopped laughing so hard, now simply chuckling. She looked at Azula who was snuggled up, and went to kiss her cheek.
"That was amazing." Ty Lee said. "Can I stay here?"
"No."
There was a short silence.
"Why not?"
"It's not professional."
If Azula had had her eyes open, she would've seen the look of shock on Ty Lee's face. Ty Lee considered saying something, but decided to let it go. She said good night and dejectedly left the tent.
When she laid in her tent, thinking about everything that had just happened, she started laughing again.
.
4
.
The next kiss happened after destroying Chan's house.
After the last kiss, the most they had brought it up was when Mai made fun of the huge hickey Azula had on her neck. Aside from necessary contact during missions, Azula didn't speak to Ty Lee, much less kiss her or hug her… Which was the worst, because how can you not hug your best friend after she takes Ba Sing Se and uses super cute Earth kingdom clothes?
After that, Azula completely ignored her back at the palace, supposedly too busy with war meetings and training. So she settled with only going out with Mai. She loved Mai, like all her friends, but what she had with Azula felt different. Also, Mai would always give her these suspicious looks without saying anything whenever she brought up how Azula never had time for them.
Then all four of them had been sent to Ember Island. Ty Lee was happy going to the beach, while the others considered it a burden. Azula's behavior towards her was… strange. On the boat, they had talked, almost flirting. Then at the beach, Azula ignored her until that volleyball game. During lunch, they were civil, and then at the party they were friends again, and then at the beach she laughed at her. Ty Lee went with it, enjoying all the time she spent with Azula, but was confused nonetheless. The whole trip felt like a double date.
At the party, she didn't even know what to make of Azula. In less than a minute, she had insulted her, apologized, and admitted to being jealous. Sure, maybe Ty Lee had gone overboard, flirting with a bunch of guys, but she needed action. Spending months in close quarters with Azula and not even acknowledging the tension had her crazy. She just wanted someone simple for a few hours.
Azula looked utterly stunning after they had gone back to Chan's house. It was the first time all day that she looked like she was having fun. The way she laughed when Chan had started to cry was lovely. They made sure not to leave until they had destroyed most of the house. As they walked out the door, Azula threw one last flame at a curtain that was still hanging.
They were right outside the house. Even Mai seemed to have had a good time. She quickly grabbed Zuko's arm as they walked away not so discretely. Ty Lee looked back at Azula, who was still looking at the burning house.
"Whacha doin princess?", she joked in a deep obnoxious voice, trying to imitate some of the boys from the party. Azula turned around, grinning at the destruction they had caused. Her eyes had a spark in them that Ty Lee had not seen in a long time. The glow of the fire reflected in her golden eyes. Ty Lee saw that Azula's lips moved, but she didn't capture what she said. She was too busy staring at her; her hair was more wavy than usual from the water and her aura burned brighter than the house behind her. Ty Lee was in a trance with Azula's beauty, completely lost in how incredible she looked.
More than anything, what called Ty Lee's attention was that she looked so happy and carefree, which was incredibly different from what Ty Lee usually saw. Azula was always stressed and repressing her feelings, but now she was smiling and she had such a beautiful smile.
Before she could stop herself, she found herself standing in front of Azula and pressing their lips together. It was firm, but just a peck nonetheless. Once more, Ty Lee felt light and elated, happy to have Azula close again. It felt right, and at the moment she just had felt so many things for Azula.
After a few seconds, she realized what she was doing and stepped back. Ashamed and surprised at what she had done, she rushed to apologize. Azula didn't reply.
"I'm so sorry Azula, I don't know why I did that, or what came over me, I swear, I just,", Ty Lee rambled, trying to hold back her tears. She had the overwhelming feeling that she had done something terrible. Azula didn't speak and Ty Lee didn't know how to fix what she had done. She felt even worse when she saw the somber look on Azula's face, in contrast to the smile that had been present mere seconds before. How dare Ty Lee ruin one of Azula's few happy memories? Azula still said nothing, now just staring at Ty Lee with her walls up again. Ty Lee felt heartbroken.
"It's fine, everybody makes mistakes. Please don't do it again." Azula finally replied, pushing past Ty Lee and walking away. Azula never said please. Not once in all the years they had known each other. The kiss had ruined everything. She didn't know why, but she felt as if it the kiss had finality. It was like they had crossed a bridge they didn't even know they had crossed until now.
Ty Lee looked on as Azula walked, now far away from where they had been standing. She felt as if everything around her was falling. Everything had gone wrong so quickly and she didn't even understand how, or why she was feeling as if her world was crumbling. She walked to the beach, distracted until her feet touched the water. The tears began to flow freely down her face, fast. She wept for a while, soon after realizing why what happened had her so torn apart.
Azula's rejection had hurt this much because she loved Azula.
She was in love.
…
Azula walked aimlessly around the island, until she found herself near a small cliff. It was cold, perfect to match her mood. All she wanted was to stay out all night, shivering and wallowing in her misery. She had had a hard enough time ignoring her feelings for Ty Lee, it didn't help that the other girl didn't take her obvious hints. She would ignore her, give her dirty looks, treat her terribly, and she wouldn't let up.
She would insist on training with Azula, and Azula had no reason to deny her unless she admitted that she found it extremely hot and distracting. She would offer to fix her hair when Azula got frustrated trying to tie it, even when Azula would ignore her and ask Mai to do it. She would make those sad puppy eyes that made Azula almost feel bad at how she treated her. Azula knew she was too invested in Ty Lee, and personal attachments were only room for weakness. She couldn't feel anything like what she was feeling. It was too deep and a distraction, both physically and mentally. She could not afford a distraction when she had this close to winning the war and make her father proud enough to become the crown princess again, now that Zuko was back.
Why did Ty Lee always have to be such a constant in her life? Why couldn't she just let her be the cold war machine she was supposed to be? No, she had to follow her unconditionally and kiss her and make her feel those pathetic feelings. Not counting the first weird kiss they had when they were eight, because they were eight and it had been meaningless, the rest of the kisses would not leave her mind. All those kisses and looks and embraces would twist and turn in her head, and she would try to dissect them to find reasons to let them go and block them out, but she just couldn't.
Sometimes, in her life, she would feel like she was only a title to people, someone they should be nice to out of fear or ambition, nothing more than a perfectly constructed trophy daughter, just a weapon, but then Ty Lee would always be there to make her feel desired and human, like she was only Azula… And that could be enough.
When she had been upset about never having kissed anyone when they were in school, Ty Lee gave her a kiss that was better than what she could've imagined, and surely better than what all those other girls had experienced.
And then, their make out session in her tent, well, that was great, if not bittersweet due to the awkwardness that ensued a few days after, all due to her body betraying her in the worst way, made even worse by the fact that she hadn't understood what had occurred, leading to a painfully embarrassing conversation between her and Ty Lee.
It started the day after when Ty Lee could not look at Azula without smiling, and that would be normal coming from Ty Lee, but she felt that this smile was different. It wasn't her enthusiastic happy smile, but more as if thinking of an inside joke. Remembering that Ty Lee was laughing before leaving the tent made her presume it was about her, so she confronted her.
"Why have you been laughing at me, Ty Lee?"
Ty Lee had been packing up her tent, getting ready to start their day. Ty Lee looked up, unsure what to say at having been caught. She tried to play dumb.
"I don't know what you mean. I'm always laughing."
"Yes, but these past few hours you have been laughing at me. I'm not stupid, and neither are you. Well, not completely."
"I haven't been laughing at you, Azula.", she tried to say, wanting to get out of the conversation.
"Then at what?"
Ty Lee's face flushed pink and she looked adorable. She didn't want to make Azula mad, and it wasn't like she laughed in a bad way. She realized she wasn't going to be able to avoid the conversation, and Mai was nowhere in sight to give her an out.
"Well, what happened last night was unexpected."
"And what exactly happened?", Azula asked, nothing funny coming to mind. It had all just been very nice.
"Umm, well, do you want me to say it?", Ty Lee asked rhetorically. Azula waited for her answer. "Oh, you do. Umm, ok, wow, well you know, it caught me by surprise when you… came. But no offense! It was pretty hot, the hottest thing I've seen actually. And I mean, you were really great that night… I guess I'm just immature to laugh at it, it's a normal response, right? I mean, it happens to everyone."
Azula's eyebrows scrunched up in confusion.
"You aren't making any sense Ty Lee. Stop talking nonsense. Came where? You were the one who came to my tent."
Ty Lee looked at her blankly. A few seconds passed before realization crossed her face. This conversation was going to be worse than she had imagined.
"Umm, no I meant, like, when you came…", when Ty Lee didn't get any reaction from Azula, she continued, "like an orgasm…"
Azula looked at her with a stoic face, not admitting she had no idea what an orgasm was. She felt that she should know this; she knew everything, especially in comparison to Ty Lee. She was forced to ask when Ty Lee didn't continue. "A what?"
"Umm… do you… um do you not know? Did you feel something at the end, something that felt… really good?"
"Well yes, obviously everything felt good."
"But, umm, when it felt like more good, at the end, right before you sort of… passed out. That was it. "
Azula blushed, the realization dawning on her.
"Oh, um, so that doesn't usually happen.", she said, getting redder every second, not knowing if she was more ashamed with what had happened or that Ty Lee had had to explain it to her.
"Not really, well yeah, but no, well when you have sex, that's what you aim for, but not usually when you're just making out." Ty Lee laughed awkwardly, never having been so embarrassed in her life.
Azula was internally screaming at how humiliating this all was. She had been so weak, since they hadn't even taken their clothes off. She was mortified, unable to come up with any dignified way out of the conversation. Ty Lee sensed that Azula was struggling to get a grip on the situation.
"But I swear it doesn't matter, like I said you looked really hot, and in general, you're super cute, and I also enjoyed it a lot, like if we had gone on longer I'm sure I might have had one too."
Azula panicked more. Not only had that happened to her but apparently she didn't even endure some minimal contact. She took a breath and tried to compose herself and maintain her pride, even with her face all red.
"Are you almost done packing? If we want any chance at catching the Avatar, we have to head out. I'm going to go find Mai.", she said in her most serious voice, trying to ignore that her voice broke halfway through the sentence. Ty Lee nodded, slightly relieved that the conversation was over, but mostly worried about what was running through Azula's mind. She watched as Azula stomped away.
As soon as she was out of Ty Lee's sight, far enough to have privacy, she started punching a tree that was next to her. She was drowning in shame, enraged at how much she had failed. She stopped punching once she noticed how her knuckles were bleeding. She had been weak. Ty Lee had made her weak. This stupid crush was ruining her life and spiraling out of control.
That was when Azula decided that Ty Lee was no good for her and that even though she was a good asset on her team, she could not allow some frivolous hormonal fling to ruin her chances.
From then on, Azula was set on ignoring her, and as time went on, it got harder. Apparently, her feelings did not go away like Azula had wanted, but were ever growing in all directions. When similar urges to the ones she had that night would arrive, first in dreams, then in day dreams, she was miserable and confused at first.
After some time, where she was now irritable and snapping orders left and right, she received some unexpected advice in the form of a taunt from Mai. She had yelled at Mai for something benign, when she heard Mai tell her to go fuck herself under her breath. It turned out to be the best idea that she had had during the whole mission.
It did help, and Azula discovered a lot of things, but it wasn't enough to solve all of what she considered hormonal problems, even if she knew they were more than that.
She spent the rest of the mission distant from Ty Lee, and she pretended that she was strong enough to still her feelings from her. Feelings were weak, but so was ignoring the truth. That was for fools. The best strategy wasn't to ignore facts and hope for the best, but to work around them until they were no longer an issue. So the first step was to admit the truth to herself; her feelings weren't just physical. She liked Ty Lee.
Repressing the feelings was tiring and did nothing to help her get over this silly crush, so she considered that the best course of action was neutral ying, and it was all going well until Ember Island. Ty Lee just had to kiss her and ruin everything. It didn't help that her feelings for Ty Lee were reciprocated. It tempted her and gave her ideas that she didn't want to have.
Deep down they made her somewhat glad, but how could she be content with something so simple?
.
5
.
The fifth kiss was after the war.
Ty Lee, after getting set free from the Boiling Rock and an unsuccessful stint with the Kyoshi warriors, was once again on Fire Nation soil after two years. She didn't know what to do with her life, and ended up going to stay with her parents for a while. As she walked towards the mansion, she saw her mother sitting outside looking towards the garden, holding a glass that Ty Lee assumed was filled with alcohol. At least some things never changed.
"You didn't bring the milk!", yelled her mother. Ty Lee doubted a second before realizing her mother was talking to her.
"What milk?"
"Ty Woo, I sent you out two hours ago for milk. You have some nerve showing up with nothing."
Ty Lee now remembered why she ran away from home in the first place. Her mother was a hopeless alcoholic, her father was always working, and they happened to have several daughters with similar names and looks. If her mother hadn't had them, she was sure she would've assumed they were the same person.
But this took the cake. She had been gone for almost two years and she comes back to the same indifference. Why even have seven daughters if you can't even keep track of them?
"I have the nerve? You have the nerve! I've been gone for two years and all you can do is mistake me for one of my sisters! Do you even remember my name?" Ty Lee said as her voice cracked. Her eyes began to water. Her mother, surprised and unsure, began to speak.
"Of course I know who you are, Ty…L…", her voice trailed off after the L. Ty Lee looked at her expectantly, not even surprised when her mother finished dubiously, "Lat?"
Ty Lee started to cry, no longer able to hold back her tears. She had been upset for a while, not feeling like she belonged anywhere, not with the Kyoshi warriors, not at the circus, and now not even in her own home.
"It's Ty Lee! I'm Ty Lee!"
"Oh, Ty Lee, the circus freak, the black sheep, the one who disgraced us, the one who disgraced the princess who gave us everything, what were you thinking? Were you thinking at all? You've never been smart Ty Lee, that's why we picked acrobatics for you. I know who you are, and I wish I had stopped having children after Ty Lin."
Being the youngest, Ty Lee was heartbroken and distraught.
"Forget it.", she said between sobs as she turned her back on the mansion and her mother. She turned back, "I wish you weren't my mother either! And don't worry, you won't ever see me again."
"Oh no, whatever will I do without you? It's not like I don't have another six identical daughters. Good bye, Ty Little shit."
She looked away, not wanting to show her mother how deep her words had cut. She walked away, ending up in the market place. Her vision was blurred, and she wasn't sure where she was walking when she stepped in something wet and white. She looked down, confused. Milk? Her eyes followed the trail that came from the alley way where she saw a couple having sex. She recognized the girl as her sister, Ty Woo. She stared for a few seconds, disgusted, before walking away even angrier than before.
And I'm the disappointment, sure, Ty Lee thought.
She eventually reached a park, which gave her the opportunity to sit down on a bench and cry. She felt completely lost, having renounced her job, the circus, and now her home, she had nothing left. No friends, no love, nothing. She whimpered when she remembered how things had ended with Azula. Even if nothing serious had transpired between them, she still loved Azula. It was stupid, not being able to get over her, not having seen her in more than two years and never having been reciprocated, but she couldn't. The memory of Azula somehow tarnished every possibility of romance offered in those years. No one could compete with Azula in Ty Lee's heart.
What hurt Ty Lee the most was how the way things played out, she had lost her two best friends. The last she had heard of Azula was that she was in a mental hospital, catatonic and hallucinating. Mai was off being Fire Lady, being all important and political, and in the palace. In the palace a few blocks away from where she was. Ty Lee realized what she had to do.
Mai would help her if she went to see her. A friend was what she needed.
…
Of course everything had worked out fine. Mai had spared her a room in the palace, and they had reunited. Mai was happy to finally have someone to talk to who didn't only care about politics and such matters. Ty Lee was happy and at ease, except for one thing.
Everything reminded her of Azula. All she could think of was how they used to play in the garden or have sleepovers in her room, where she had always looked comfortable and beautiful in her elegant handmade robes.
She didn't dare take a step towards the room. Even though it was empty, it still intimidated her. It was weird to be in the palace without Azula. She missed her a lot.
"You know you can visit her.", Mai said one day that they were walking in the gardens. "She's not a prisoner. And she's more lucid now."
Ty Lee didn't reply, and Mai said nothing more.
…
Ty Lee was outside the hospital, not sure whether she was going to be able to go in. She had been there twice that week, but something had stopped her from going in. All she had to do was go through the door and she wouldn't be able to turn back, but she hadn't been able to.
Ever since Mai had told her that she could go, the visit was running through her head. It was all that she could think about. She was sure that she had imagined every possible scenario of how it could go. Sometimes she thought that it would be horrible, how Azula would never forgive her. Other times she imagined finding Azula with no memory of her, completely lost in hallucinations. Occasionally she imagined a sweet romantic encounter, where they declared their love for each other and promised each other a future of eternal love and devotion. She tried not to think about that one much, knowing it only got her hopes up for something that would never happen. But… a girl can only dream.
She, this time, did enter the building and passed through the corridors, all white despite being the fire nation, and went to the information booth where a nurse listened to her and allowed her to visit the royal patient seeing the letter Fire Lady Mai had lent her. Another nurse escorted her to Azula's room and left her at the door.
The door had a small window and Ty Lee looked through it. The room had white walls and floor, and even though it was larger than most, it was still small and impersonal. The twin sized bed sat in the middle of the room, covered in white sheets. Azula stood out in the all-white room. She sat in the chair next to the bed, wrapped in a strait jacket. Her face looked more gaunt, her cheekbones sticking out more than usual and her eyes were wild. Somehow Azula sensed her presence and tilted her head towards the door. Their eyes met, Azula's golden eyes staring at Ty Lee, almost as if daring her to come in.
Ty Lee shivered and took a step back, before opening the door and walking in. She stood there as Azula watched her for several minutes.
"What's the haps?", Azula asked, crossing her legs and laying back on the chair. The movement caused her hair, which was which was half up, to bounce cutely. Ty Lee might have been biased but to her, Azula looked cute even if her pose and attitude tried to be intimidating. Even if they had had an awkward start, Ty Lee was ecstatic to see her again.
"Umm." Ty Lee was unsure of how to respond to Azula, because while her tone wasn't as cold as she expected and was even casual, Azula was glaring at her. "Hey, Azula?"
"That's a bit informal for a traitor, don't cha think? Try your Majesty or Princess, at least."
"Hello Princess… um, how are you doing?"
"Just dandy."
The room was tense. Ty Lee didn't know what to do, so she sat down on the bed. Azula gave her an incredulous look.
"Leave.", Azula said as she got up out of the chair and started to walk towards the small barred window there was. Her walk was weird, like a penguin, nothing like how she would walk before the comet.
"What? Why? I just got here."
"And I'm already tired of having to look at you. So leave."
"But… but, no. I've been trying to come back to see you for like forever—"
"Well you didn't try very hard, did you? I've been here for more than two years, Ty Lee, while you were off playing with kittens or whatever it is you do."
"My life hasn't exactly been easy."
"I'm sure it was hard learning how to do your makeup to not look like some 12 year old circus whore."
"I have never looked like a 12 year old circus whore. Whore, maybe, I'll give you that, but I'm a lot hotter than a 12 year old, even when I was 12."
Azula eye's looked at her up and down. She did have to admit that Ty Lee had gotten more attractive. She was sporting a tight pink crop top and some loose fitting black pants. Her factions were more defined. She looked really good.
"Whatever."
Azula just looked away and was silent. Ty Lee then decided to try small talk.
"The weather has been nice these days."
"I wouldn't know."
Good job, Ty Lee.
"Yeah, it's really good weather for birds. Woah! I saw this really cool bird on the way here. Well, not on the way here today, but a few weeks ago when I was coming back from Kyoshi Island. It was really cool and pink."
"Kyoshi Island? What were you doing in that hole?", Azula asked, her voice a mix of curiosity and disgust, before looking away again. "Not that I care."
"Oh, I was with the Kyoshi warriors for a while."
"I had to listen to you rant about how you weren't part of a matched set like a million times for you to go join the Kyoshi warriors. Incredible, Ty Lee. No wonder you betrayed me, you don't have any principles."
"That was… ok, I mean maybe I deserved that. But that's good I guess, to let it out."
"What, are you my new doctor?", Azula spit out, suddenly angry.
"No, but you've never talked about your feelings, and if we want to go back to how we were before—"
Azula snorted before turning towards Ty Lee.
"Why would I ever forgive you Ty Lee? You betrayed me. You're the reason I'm in here. What did you expect coming here? That we could have a sleepover? Maybe we could slip my hand out of this jacket so you can paint my nails." Her voice became louder with each sentence.
"I didn't mean that. I just thought that we could be friends again."
"You've never been very good at thinking."
"I think you're right."
"Well, well, well, I see you're no longer afraid of me."
"I was never afraid of you Azula."
"Oh really, then why did you blindly follow me everywhere."
"You know why."
They looked at each other in silence. Azula tried to maintain her façade of detachment, her lips turned up in slight amusement. Ty Lee was exasperated at her attitude.
"Clearly it wasn't loyalty."
"For someone so smart, you're really dense!"
"What? At least I make sense."
"I followed you because I loved you! I always did. Don't act like you didn't know."
Ty Lee was breathless, surprised at having lost her cool. Azula was giving her a strange look. Her face was unreadable. While her face was stoic, her eyes were wild like a panther and charged with emotion. She was shaking with what Ty Lee imagined was anger.
"Get. Out.", she whispered. Ty Lee took a step closer to her, wanting to calm her down so they could talk.
"Azula", she said softly, reaching out her hand to touch her. Azula jerked away, and Ty Lee was sure that the straight jacket was the only thing stopping her from murdering her. She looked erratic and unstable.
"Liar. Nobody loves me. Get out."
But Azula, I love you.
Azula looked to the left where the voice had come from, only to find her mother standing in the room, giving her a sympathetic look. "Not you again."
"Azula, what's going on?", Ty Lee asked but was ignored.
I love you, and so does she. People learn to love monsters.
Azula threw fire from her mouth at the corner of the room where her mother was. She kept throwing fire until she saw that only the scorched wall was left. Ty Lee panicked, unsure of how to help Azula. Azula was now on her knees, shaking. Her hair was covering her face. Some doctors had started to come in, having heard a commotion. They injected her with some drugs and pulled her up. As they pulled Azula up, her body limp in their arms, Ty Lee saw the tear streaks on her face and her heart broke. She left after that.
….
Ty Lee, as it's been stated, has never been very smart. So she decided to go back to see Azula again. A week after the incident, she went to visit Azula.
Azula was lying in bed, facing the door. When she saw Ty Lee walk in, she turned her body to face the other way, her movements awkward and limited from the straight jacket.
"Hello princess." Azula didn't answer. Ty Lee sat down in the chair next to the bed. After about 10 minutes of silence, she decided to tell a story. It was about the dog the Kiyoshi warriors sometimes played with but though she tried to make it longer, there was very little to tell. Silence followed, awkwardly. So, she proceeded with another story, this time about her new job in the palace, which was basically being the gardener but she didn't mind because she liked talking to flowers.
Yes, I've always liked talking to pretty flowers so… it's no surprise that I liked talking to you so much, she almost said.
And then she listed off her top ten flowers around the palace plus her favorite flowers in the Earth Kingdom. Azula still did not respond, not even to tell her to shut up or get out and Ty Lee did not know what to make of it. So she kept talking, Agni only knows about what. She was still talking when a nurse came in and told her to leave for the day.
…
Today, a new day, a new visit.
As Ty Lee walked into the clinic, the nurse who had kicked her out last time went up to her.
"She's very unstable today. We don't recommend that you go inside."
"It's ok, she's been unstable our whole friendship.", she waved off the nurse's concern and walked towards the room.
She reached the door and looked through the small window. She saw the room in complete disarray. The sheets had been ripped off the bed, with burn marks in the middle. The pillow had been ripped open and there were a lot of feathers everywhere. The room was dark, none of the candles lit. She went to open the door, but pulled her hand away from the door knob and left.
Fifteen minutes later, Ty Lee walked into the room with a bag of Fire gummies.
"Azula?", Ty Lee called out into the room, her eyes adjusting to the dark. She saw a small figure in the corner, cowering. She walked closer and sat down next to her. "Hey."
Azula was crying with her head between her knees. She was occasionally muttering things about her father. Ty Lee put her hand on her shoulder. Azula glared at her.
"Haven't you heard of privacy?", Azula said, her voice full of venom. "Go away."
Azula didn't like being vulnerable.
"Okay. I just, I brought you this." She showed Azula her other hand, which was holding the candies she had bought for her. Azula looked at the bag, and slowly reached out for it. They were her favorite. As Ty Lee went to get up to leave, Azula started crying harder. Ty Lee felt conflicted, because while she wanted to give Azula the privacy she asked for, it hurt to leave her in such a state.
Then again, she excelled at making bad decisions, so she stayed.
She pulled Azula closer to her, and rubbed her back to soothe her. Azula sank into the embrace, accommodating herself in Ty Lee's arms. She rested her head on Ty Lee's chest and tried not to tremble as she sobbed, but her efforts were in vain. They stayed like that for a while; Ty lee was trying her hardest to comfort Azula without angering her, while Azula was trying her hardest to calm down.
When she felt herself more under control, she asked Ty Lee quietly without looking at her,
"Did you stop loving me because you realized that I'm a monster?"
Ty Lee felt as if they had kicked a puppy so hard that the bones had turned to dust and the dust had been compressed to form a knife and it had been jabbed into Ty Lee's heart, which was also already being kicked next to the now dead puppy.
Ty Lee hugged Azula harder than before. She could feel how thin Azula was, and that made her feel like Azula could easily break.
"You're not a monster, Azula.", she told her. She kept hugging her.
"Then why did you stop?", Azula murmured into her neck.
"I never stopped."
"Why? Nobody has ever loved me. What do you want in return?"
"I don't want anything in return. I just love you. I just want you to be happy."
"I don't get it."
"Don't worry, I got you."
Ty Lee touched Azula's face softly. She looked at her for a second before leaning forward and kissing her lovingly on the forehead. Azula sighed and went back to resting her head against Ty Lee's chest. She soon dozed off, tired from everything that had conspired that afternoon. Ty Lee sat there holding Azula for a few more minutes before picking her up and carrying her to her bed.
"I love you" Ty Lee whispered while running her fingers through Azula's hair. She played with her hair a few more minutes and left.
.
1
.
After that afternoon, Ty Lee kept visiting Azula twice a week. They didn't speak about that heart to heart, but Ty Lee's visits were received better. They had a tentative friendship, even if they had moments with tension. Incredibly so, Azula was getting better and more stable in her recovery with Ty Lee's support.
Unfortunately, their bliss didn't last. Ty Lee had to leave for the Earth Nation for the shadiest mission ever, involving a circus and all of her sisters. In no context could any of that be good. Nonetheless, since Ty Lee was the only sister who was outside of the drama, she had to go to help. After she told Azula of her future trip, Azula began to ignore her again.
Two days before she was supposed to leave, she went to visit Azula to say goodbye.
"Azula, please talk to me." Her pleas were met with indifference. "Come on, I'll be back before you know it."
More silence.
"I can't just ignore my sisters, especially when they need my help."
When Azula still didn't answer, Ty Lee stood up. She was getting so far with Azula. They were finally getting along again, and now she could even talk without feel like she was walking on ice. Yet, any progress they had made seemed to have been forgotten. She sat down at the foot of Azula's bed, where she was lying down.
"Azula, please don't be angry at me. You're being irrational." Ty Lee looked at Azula, who looked away. She moved closer to Azula and grabbed her shoulders. "Azula, talk to me."
"You are just like the rest, saying that you care and then leaving. It's boiling rock all over again.", Azula spit out, angry at Ty Lee abandoning her again. She had been stupid for thinking that anyone would be loyal to her, especially someone who had already betrayed her.
"I'm not leaving you Azula. Well, I am, but it's only going to be for a awhile while I help my sisters. I'm not just throwing you away. I wouldn't do that."
"You've done it before. I shouldn't have trusted you." She hugged her body and closed herself off to Ty Lee.
"Well, what do you want me to do? I can't not go!"
"It doesn't matter what I want. I want you to stay, I want to be Fire Lord, but does anybody care? No. Just leave. It's my own fault for expecting anything from you."
Ty Lee was furious. In another moment, she probably would have been moved from Azula admitting to want to her to stay, but she didn't have the mindset to find it cute. She didn't understand how Azula could be so selfish. Ty Lee left angrily, while Azula stayed glaring at the door before looking away.
….
Ty Lee came back after two months. She had gone to the Earth Kingdom to help her sisters' sort out legal disputes between each other over copyright of their acts. She had been successful at first, managing to calm down everybody involved. She got them to redesign and alter their acts for their not to be any trouble, but then they started more arguments between each other and it turned into a big mess again. Ty Lee was tired and regretted going to help, but she kept trying until they reached an agreement. Then, she received a letter from Mai saying that there was going to be an important dinner in a week. They had a special announcement. With the negotiations almost done, Ty Lee figured it was okay for her to leave.
The boat ride was uneventful and she soon found herself in the Fire Nation again. She quickly made her way to the palace, where she would be staying. When she got there, Mai and some servants were waiting for her at the entrance. Some servants took her bags while she hugged Mai. They went for a walk in the gardens, where Ty Lee tried to get Mai to spill the big surprise. Mai didn't say anything, no matter how hard Ty Lee tried.
"I can give you another piece of gossip though.", Mai said, after Ty Lee asked her for the millionth time what the surprise was.
"I guess that's good too", Ty Lee said after sighing dramatically.
"Azula's staying here in the palace."
"What! Why didn't you tell me that before I came back! "
"Because it's not a big deal, I guess. She barely leaves her room anyway."
"Is she gonna be at the dinner?"
"Probably not, you know how fond Azula is of socializing. Why are you so upset anyway? You act like a bunch of prissy ex-girlfriends."
"Umm"
"Azula had the same reaction when I said you were invited. What's the deal with you two?"
"We just had a fight before I left." Ty Lee decided that she could vent to Mai. "She was just so angry about me leaving and that's super dumb, because I was obviously going to come back, but she kept saying that I was going to abandon her and I kept saying that I wasn't."
Mai started laughing, not very loud but enough that coming from Mai, it could be considered boisterous. She laughed for a few minutes before calming down.
"That's the gayest fight ever. Like you guys were always giving each other really weird looks and the tension was really awkward. In Ba Sing Se sharing a room with you two was horrible, but this is another level. "
They were at the palace steps again, where Mai was still smiling when she went off to her room. Ty Lee went to go get some rest from the trip.
…
The party was going great. Mai and Zuko had announced their pregnancy and nobles of the land had cheered for them. The food was fantastic, but the best was the champagne. After taking two glasses, she left towards the gardens to get some fresh air. Even though the party was fun, she was worried due to Azula's strange behavior towards her. She went to go say hello before they sat down to eat, but she had avoided her by going to the bathroom. At the meal, Azula managed to not look at her.
Azula was avoiding her and Ty Lee didn't know what to do about it, so she didn't do anything. She had always chased and comforted Azula, followed her orders, supported her, loved her, but now Azula was getting better and didn't show any sign of wanting to have anything to do with her.
Ty Lee wasn't going to throw away her energy and her life chasing her teenage dream. They were finally getting closure, if anything, so she had to move on. She would get a job outside the palace and move out and fall in love with a sweet boy who sold fish and everything would be alright.
That's what Ty Lee told herself, even if it felt wrong and her chest hurt at the thought of not loving Azula. Moving on was the sensible thing to do, Ty Lee knew that, but what did Ty Lee know?
….
It was three in the morning when Ty Lee got up to go to the bathroom after having had several more glasses of champagne. Oddly, her room was the only bedroom without a bathroom and since all the bedrooms were supposed to have bathrooms, there were none near this wing of the palace. She went to the bathroom, did her business, and on the way back, decided to go get a snack, since she was close to the kitchens anyway.
As she went there, she heard a quiet voice in the hallway. She was confused as to why anyone would be up at this hour, since everyone else had a bathroom in their room. She tried to be stealthy, like a ninja.
"So would you guys be considered waterbenders because you take in water or firebenders because you take your energy from the sun like us? Or maybe earthbenders? Because you move the ground around you…"
What the fuck?, Ty Lee thought to herself as she watched the scene unfold. Azula was bent over a small table that had a plant on it. Ty Lee didn't see anyone else and was very confused.
"You´re clearly not airbenders because you´re not extinct. ", Azula added before laughing at her joke.
"What the fuck?", Ty Lee said outloud.
Azula was startled at being caught. She stood up and looked at where the voice had come from.
"What are you doing?", Ty Lee asked, still confused as she took a step closer.
"Well, earlier I saw that this mirror was dirty and decided to come and clean it.", Azula said quickly as she went to wipe the mirror with her fingers. The mirror loudly squeaked. "Zuko has some nerve thinking that just because he´s sold himself off to the Avatar and the Earth King that he can let this place fall in shambles."
"That's… um… you were talking to a plant though?"
"No I wasn't."
"Yes you were."
"No. You're clearly mistaken."
"Azula, I saw you."
"You had too much champagne at the party, Ty Lee. Clearly, it still has you a bit confused. "
"I had like, three."
"Try seven."
"Right. Were you spying on me?"
"No."
Azula and Ty Lee stood in the hallway which was growing more awkward with every passing second. Ty Lee looked at the mirror, which now had a vertical smudge on it from where Azula had wiped it a minute ago.
"You totally were."
"No, I wasn't. Clearly you're the one spying on me if you're here."
"No I, you know what, whatever, I was just going for a snack, so that's where I'm gonna go."
Ty Lee continued down the hallway towards the kitchen. Azula was left in the hallway with the need to continue their bickering. When Ty Lee didn't come back, Azula was confused at how Ty Lee didn't take the chance to confront her and keep talking to her, because she was talking to the plant and she had been spying on her.
It was unsettling.
….
The days passed with Ty Lee and Azula not talking to each other, but surprisingly not because of Azula. In fact, Azula was trying her best to be friendly to Ty Lee and offered her constant awkward small talk, but it was not well received. She even gave her chances to train with her or take strolls in the gardens that she loathed, but was faced with rejection nonetheless.
The small talk was a train wreck when they had meals, where Azula made a point of ignoring Zuko and trying to talk to Ty Lee, while she ignored Azula and only talked to Mai, who ignored everyone.
Azula was a bit desperate. She was anxious and stressed. She shouldn't be this bothered if Ty Lee ignored her but she was. It was taking over her thoughts and she couldn't understand why Ty Lee was acting that way. Azula was trying and Ty Lee didn't care. It weighed on her. Her insomnia became worse. She didn't cry, because aside from it being below her, she didn't understand why this was bothering her, but it manifested in other ways. She trained harder until her muscles were sore, and felt as if she was getting sick. She stayed up later and later every day, and the worry that if she got sick she would be sent back to the wretched hospital added to her stress.
This was all Ty Lee's fault. She had been nice to her for weeks and all she did was blow her off. Azula had to get over this. She wasn't even worth her time or her worries… and, she was so tired. Ty Lee was stupid if she didn't take advantage of Azula's kindness.
One night she found herself roaming the halls. She saw that the tea room had the light on, and looked inside. She saw Ty Lee, Zuko, and Mai, all sitting at the table in the center. A tea party! And she wasn't invited! In another moment she wouldn't have cared, but the lack of sleep and attention of late was getting to her. She thought of making a grand dramatic entrance, because how dare they not invite the princess to their party, when she overheard the topic on hand.
"It's a really fun job, I get to play with kids all day! It pays well because they're noble's kids.", Ty Lee said cheerily.
"You do know you have to take care of them, right?", Mai added, unsure of how responsible Ty Lee could actually be.
"Obviously Mai, I have tons of experience, I took care of the animals when I was with the circus."
Mai went from looking unconvinced to worried for the future of the Fire Nation's nobility. Ty Lee quickly continued.
"Maybe when you guys have your kids you can send them to me and I can take care of them!"
Zuko and Mai gave each other a look before turning towards Ty Lee.
"That's a great idea." Zuko said awkwardly.
"So when would you leave the palace?", Mai quickly asked to change the topic.
"Well, I could technically afford my own place in a month or two, but it would take at least another to buy furniture. But since I helped my sisters with their circus problem, they talked and decided to help me out, you know since I got disowned. So I'd be gone by the end of the week, if that's ok?"
"But it's Wednesday."
"Yeah, I'd leave on Saturday."
From the shock, Azula accidently knocked down a flower pot that was near the doorway. Everyone looked towards the sound, surprised to see Azula standing there.
"Oh, don't mind me, ignore me like you always do.", Azula said as she walked off into the hall.
"What's her problem?", said Zuko, while Mai gave Ty Lee a knowing look.
"Maybe you should talk to her", Mai said.
"Why, it's not like we're friends or anything", Ty Lee shot back.
Mai shrugged.
…..
Suddenly it was Friday night and Azula was a nervous wreck. Her hands were sweaty, her face flushed and she was currently pacing in her room. She hadn't confronted Ty Lee about her leaving the palace, but neither had Ty Lee, so she was unsure of what to do. If Ty Lee didn't think her worthy of a goodbye, then she wasn't worthy of anything Azula had to say either.
But she kind of wanted to say it anyways.
About what? She didn't know. But she wanted to say something. Maybe a direct confrontation about why was she being so mean towards Azula and was ignoring her, maybe to ask her if she still loved her because Azula felt herself slipping in a loveless abysm and needed some affection. Well, maybe not that, that was too much. Azula wasn't like that, like in love with Ty Lee or something equally disgusting.
But she had to talk to her.
She decided that the best course of action was to go to sleep. When she woke up, Ty Lee would be gone and so would all her stress. Ty Lee and this… this debilitating disgusting feeling, had only caused her problems her whole life. This time was no different. She laid down under the covers and tried to sleep.
No matter how much she tossed and turned, changed the side of the pillow, switched sides and cursed, she couldn't calm down. She had something inside of her that wouldn't settle. She just wasn't able to clear her head and sleep. Occasionally she would drift off, but abruptly wake up a few minutes later, still as stressed as when she began. She was exhausted but she still couldn't calm down and doze off. At one point she threw the pillow she was currently using across the room and began to cry from the stress. It didn't last, only a few tears coming out, but her teeth clashed inside of her mouth and it only served to stress her out more.
She grabbed another pillow and tried to sleep again, even though she couldn't relax. She held it tightly, her whole body tense, before angrily throwing it too and getting up. The pillow was scorched where Azula had grabbed it. She angrily went towards Ty Lee's room and walked in, not bothering to knock.
Ty Lee was asleep. Azula called out her name, ready to argue. When Ty Lee didn't respond, she went all the way to the bed to wake her up. She stood next to the bed, ready to shake Ty Lee awake, when she was overcome with an overwhelming exhaustion. She looked at how calm Ty Lee looked, how cute and felt her adrenaline fade.
Indeed, she was so tired and didn't want to think anymore. She decided that she wouldn't say anything more, and left. Outside of the room, there was a small sofa where she sat down, and was finally able to get some sleep.
Maybe she was a bit in love with Ty Lee.
…
When she woke up, it was not due to her usual nightmares or general restlessness, but because of someone poking her in the arm. It was Mai.
"You look like hell, Azula." Mai stated, looking at Azula's messy hair and look of fatigue. "Come on, breakfast is almost ready. It's our last breakfast with Ty Lee, or whatever."
Azula grumbled but got up and went to wash her face before heading to the dining room. Seated already in the table were the monarchs and Ty Lee. Azula served herself some orange juice and took a seat. She thought of perhaps serving herself some eggs, but her nerves took away her appetite. She didn't want any more conflicts so she was just going to quickly finish her juice and go back to her bedroom.
A princess surrenders with honor and dignity. She was going to be polite and nice today, and once Ty Lee leaves she would get over her and forget her. Go back to her rigid daily schedule of firebending, studies and maybe even begin to advise Zuko. She would go back to her former glory, even if she now had a reputation as a nutcase. She would prove them all wrong.
"So, me and Zuko have a doctor's appointment," Mai's voice brought her out of her stupor. She had stayed for two solid minutes with the glass on her lips without drinking it.
"We do?"
"We do. Now come on.", Mai said as she rolled her eyes and walked out. Zuko followed behind, confused.
Azula cursed mentally. They were alone with Ty Lee's awkward chewing sound and her occasional slurping. Mai was a little shit but it wouldn't faze her. Azula would be a better person.
"So you're leaving today.", Azula stated.
"Oh, yeah", Ty Lee replied, uncomfortable and looking everywhere but at Azula.
"Cool."
"Yeah, I'm gonna take care of kids, you know that though, because you know, you spied on that conversation."
"True, unnecessary, but true. I stalk sometimes. Whatever."
"Like that time with the champagne."
"Yeah, right before you started ignoring me."
"Ugh, well I wouldn't have ignored you if you hadn't ignored me first! You ignored me at the party."
"For one day! You ignored me for a month! I tried for a month like a stupid little lovesick turtleduck, inviting you to hang out and talk."
"I tried for years! Our whole friendship has been me trying with you."
"And now that I'm better you're done, right? I'm no longer a suitable charity case."
"Azula, that's not-"
"Funny, Ty Lee, everything you've said before, I almost believed you."
"You're unbelievable! I loved you for years, I loved you when you took me from the circus, when we kissed, when you locked me in prison, when you were in the hospital. I loved you when you had everything and had nothing. But I'm tired. This isn't healthy. All this on and off, I can't take it anymore. You never even felt the same way. "
"You don't know that", Azula mumbled, her eyes on the table.
"See, this is what I mean. What am I supposed to take from that? I'm always putting myself out there for you, and you don't even care. You don't even tell me no."
Both of them sat in silence. Azula gulped, unsure of how to continue, her hands antsy and fidgety under the table. She knew that this was the moment to say something, but she was scared.
"I guess that's my answer." Ty Lee said, her voice sad. She got up from the table and went to leave.
It was now or never. Azula needed to finally speak up about her feelings to Ty Lee. She just needed to spit it out, quickly, like ripping off a band aid. Her hands were shaking and her throat felt like it was closing up. Her head was spinning. When she was near the door, Azula had finally worked up the nerve to finally let out what she wanted to say, but instead she vomited.
Thank goodness she only had a cup of juice.
Ty Lee rushed back, startled by the noise. Azula's face was all red and she tried to grab a napkin. Ty Lee pulled the chair back to give Azula some space.
"Are you okay? I don't know what to do, oh my god, what do I do?" Azula didn't respond, still dizzy and a bit nauseous. "Okay, I'm gonna call someone to help, stay here."
Azula began to nod, but that makes her dizzier and she stops. She told Ty Lee to go, more because of her embarrassment than her need for a doctor. She tried to distance herself from the table, but getting up seemed like an impossible task. She stayed put, wondering how many people in the world vomited instead of confessing their love.
Some servants began to come in and pulled Azula up, while others stayed to clean up. How was Azula supposed to order them around after this? After getting to her room, they take a minute in organizing the disheveled bed before leaving her there alone. She tried to stay still to calm herself, taking deep breaths.
Then, Ty Lee came quietly, bringing a glass of water with her. Azula dismissed it to her night table because sitting up wasn't an option. Ty Lee began to inquire about how she was feeling, but decided that Azula should save it for when the doctor arrived. She moved away some hair that was on Azula's face. Ty Lee sat next to her in silence, simply playing with her hair and waiting for the doctor.
….
Ty Lee walked into the room after the doctor left, curious but mostly worried about Azula's health. She found Azula still lying in bed, but much healthier, her face no longer sickly green or her hands shaking. She was drinking the water she had left her before.
"Hey 'Zula. What'd the doctor say? You're okay, right?"
"Yes, just stress."
"Oh. Well I brought you some soup. I made it myself. Did the doctor say it was good for you to eat?" Azula looked at the gross looking soup that Ty Lee had brought. It had some weird looking roots and some red… berries? Azula wasn't sure at all.
"He said I can't eat anything for a while.", Azula lied.
"Oh, okay, I guess if the doctor said that." Ty Lee said disappointed. She put the soup aside.
This time, the few seconds of silence weren't awkward at all. And of course, Azula was spent. She just wanted to get lost in the warmth of her puffy blankets.
"I was thinking of leaving today, but you know with you getting sick and—"
"Ty Lee, I do.", she mumbled, with her eyes still closed.
"Really? You want me to stay and cook for you? Yay! Don't worry, I'm super good at taking care of people who are sick. I'll go look for more recipes later", Ty Lee squealed.
"What? No, you idiot. I meant I do… love you. "
"Oh. Are you sure? Like maybe he gave you something that's making you hallucinate."
"God damn, Ty Lee, I'm fine, just take it."
"But maybe you're saying it because you had like, a near death experience!" Azula rolled her eyes at how exaggerated Ty Lee was being.
Azula sat up from her bed and leaned towards Ty Lee. Before the other girl could react, she kissed her firmly. Immediately she groaned and went back to lying down, clearly dizzy again from the quick movement. She groaned some more from the killer headache that was coming on.
Ty Lee got it now. Ty Lee felt fireworks go off inside of her. She was elated, because no matter how much she had talked about getting over Azula, she was still in love with her. She didn't know if she was still going to move out or not, or work, but she was incredibly happy. She laid down next to Azula and cuddled up to her.
"Oh Azula, I love you too!"
"I know.", she replied tiredly.
"I feel so happy and warm. Your love makes my heart feel like a firebender!"
Azula is so done with Ty Lee's chatter that she breaks the fourth wall and stares at the camera like in The Office.
