The Fictional Heart

Summary: Orihime reflects on her time with Ulquiorra – wondering about how she got sucked so far into the green eyed Espada and his hidden world. Rated M for some mature themes.

A/N: Hello out there once again. I know, I know, I haven't updated 'Be My Sacrifice' Or 'Affection in an unloving world' but I'm writing on the new chapter of 'Affection in an unloving world' and somehow felt like I needed a breather from it.

Don't worry! I will update but it's probably gonna be during my Christmas holiday ^^

At the moment this is a stand-alone one-shot but if I somehow feel like it in the future I'll might add another chapter.

And sorry to people who liked my works on 'Tainted by the past' with the pairing Hitsugaya x Hinamori – my love is just directed at Ulquihime at the moment xD

Enjoy ^^

Your eyes always sent shivers done my spine. It was nothing like any other eyes I've ever seen - the sharp green color piercing the very depths of my soul as if you were trying to reach my darkest secrets.

You were always trying to reach them so hard.

And even so I feared those green eyes. I was confused because of those green eyes. I was intoxicated because of your green eyes.

Did you even know about this? Did you know that your eyes were the very basis for my burning fascination towards you? The reason why I was drawn to this overwhelming heat your presence emitted? The heat that before very long would devour me whole

I'm sure you didn't know about this. You simply liked to look at me. Look at the puzzled expression that way too often would adorn my face - an expression you would never see if you looked into a mirror. Therefore it intoxicated you, made you visit me way too often just to stand there – gazing at me. Waiting to see just a glimpse of the complicated emotions I stored in my heart.

I often kept my expression blank because of this. Just so you wouldn't lose your interest in me, just so you would keep hunting for the hidden emotions, just so you would keep holding your green eyes at me.

I felt selfish because of this. Suffocated by my growing loneliness and the vanishing hope of escaping your grasp, I simply accepted you - accepted the fact that our souls were completely different and even closer than I had ever imagined they would be. Maybe I was the one fascinated by you?

I remember the time where you learned of the term 'heart'. You wouldn't believe me at first - you simply looked at me as if I had just described the most illogical thing in the world. And even so you kept asking me about it -brought it into our small conversations as if you were trying to make me believe that a 'heart' wasn't an existing thing but just a delusion. A delusion created by the foolishness feelings a human carried on their way through life.

I almost believed you at once - or more precisely wanted to believe you. After all, you never told me any lies no matter how painful the truth was. You probably just spoke your mind, but I would like to believe you did it to open my eyes and not delude me from the reality of the world.

A heart existed. I knew that much no matter how many times you tried to convince me otherwise. Even when I showed you where the heart was located your simply brushed it off by explaining that the physical term 'heart' indeed was a existing entity, but the emotions a human possessed was a simple elusion and not connected to the term 'heart'.

Your extreme Nihilism defeated me way too much – leaving me wondering why you kept asking me about the heart as if you, deep down, were actually trying to believe in the words I spoke - but were unable to do so. The hole where your heart should be, simply didn't allow you to believe me.

Even so, as time went by, you're more frequent visits puzzled me more than I expressed. You usually just placed yourself in a corner of my cell, staring into the nearest wall with a blank expression as if you had no motive what so ever to be in my presence.

You normally started a conversation after some time, keeping me up to date with what was happening with my 'friends' as they were desperately trying to save me.

You often looked at them with critical eyes. Speaking about how foolish they were to even believe they had a minimal chance of saving me. I knew you were right. I knew you spoke the truth. But none the less I still wanted to believe that they would save me.

Not because I hated you. Not because I wanted to put some distance between us and leave you. But because I wanted to show that you were wrong and that the foolish emotions called 'friendship' would indeed be enough to save me.

This knowledge made you seem more restless than ever. As my saviors moved closer, avoiding all obstacles, you seemed to grow more and more aware of the situation - to the extent that you took matters into your own hands.

My eyes widened when you for the first time entered my cell with blood on your hands, his Blood, Ichigio's blood. Not explaining anything but simply moving towards me in what seemed like a second – covering my mouth with your cold white hand when I was about to let the most horrible things slip from my mouth.

"This is just an illusion, you are dreaming"

My nose captured the strong scent of blood when you moved your hand from my mouth and up to my eyes. As if to isolate me from the truth that told me to hate you. Screamed and begged me! to hate you with all my heart.

But I couldn't. Your cold skin against my eyes left me with a numb feeling - unable to even think rational or react to the horrible sight that had been presented to me.

I shivered when I felt you move closer, leaning back into the couch as if to push you away. But you never seemed to get the message, and when your cold lips brushed my jaw line I couldn't help but shiver lightly. Not because I wanted to encourage you, but because my body reacted on its own.

"This is an Illusion"

You murmured way too often as you worked your cold lips moved down to my neck and your slim and even so, strong frame hovered over me.

I had never felt so trapped in my life when you forced me to lie completely down on the couch.

Your actions from then and onwards are still a complete mystery to me. You never seemed to think about this either but just seemed to follow your instincts - instincts that told you to believe my words for once; to stop thinking and start feeling.

You were not exactly gentle. You seemed to notice my body's responses and acted according to it, but I still knew that you were completely selfish in that moment.

You just wanted to claim me… that was all, as an animal claiming a favorite prey removing all obstacles in its way. After all, you never cared about my friends, my feelings, or my fascination towards you. You just cared about yourself and the sake of claiming a thing you had learned to treasure through time.

I hoped, wished for this not to be true. I hoped that I was just imagining things and that you actually held some deeper emotions or motive.

Even when you exposed skin no other person had seen before, I kept deluding myself in these fictional feelings I hoped you possessed. And when you bent down towards my body, sucking at the soft skin of my stomach as if the taste was more addicting than anything else I couldn't help but shiver – your strong hands running down my breasts, painting everything you touched a deep red color.

The color of my friends' blood and the sin I was committing.

Your eyes never changed. They just stayed the same; focused, analyzing, empty – clearly not noticing the messed up feelings I was experiencing. Or maybe you just didn't want to notice?

Your hands never seemed to grow tired, and your mouth never left a spot unexplored. Even when I slowly whimpered something that could sound like a 'please stop' you continued, running your long fingers down the sensitive skin of my neck, gazing at me with the same unchanged eyes - eyes that would forever haunt me from then.

To receive affection or compassion from a hollow creature like you were after all impossible. No matter how hard I tried to convince myself otherwise.

When you began to move inside of me, my body started to betray me once again – whimpers of mixed agony and pleasure leaving my throat before I had a chance of holding them back and my body naturally aching from every jerk you gave my body. How could anything so wrong feel so good?

I was craving for more. No matter how agonizing the whole experience was, I just needed to feel you.

If I couldn't feel your heart, I had to start feeling your physical body instead.

Because of this I met all your movements to encourage your actions for once, while allowing small gasps of pleasure to play on my lips. This seemed to just make your actions more aggressive, as you bit down on my neck with such force it made a whimper rip from my throat following by a warm sensation gliding down my neck.

Blood.

You sucked at the newly created wound while still jerking my body violently against the soft fabric of the couch.

First now a soft sound, most likely a groan, could be heard from you - the first sign of pleasure and clearly created by the mere taste of my blood. Not created by the friction we were making but by the simple taste of blood.

As I felt my body react stronger to your hard movements and every muscle in my body began to spasm, I forced my eyes to stay open – tracing my hand from your cheek and down to your chest and circling my fingers around the dark hole that was placed right at your chest.

I couldn't help but smile in self irony.

A fictional heart can't love.

A/N: I hope you enjoyed this little one-shot ^^ Review, review, review! They make me happy xD