Hey!! I'm so excited to see the outcome of this story!

Just a second warning to all of you who were too lazy to read the summary: this story contains LEMONS, okay? Now if there are any sensitive readers out there who get scarred for life by this, it is no longer my problem. I warned you.

I'm too lazy to say anything more. Enjoy!

"Oh, Jasper!" Alice gasped and wrapped her arm around his neck. She curved her back, leaning down to kiss him, turning her head almost completely to the side to fit her mouth into his. She had both her hands on his bare chest and could easily feel he's heavy breathing, which made her want to put her body right up against his, but this would be a difficult task, considering their current position.

The rust-coloured sheet, draped softly over their intertwined bodies, ruffled with every movement they made.

Alice sat upright again, arching her back the opposite way this time. She was struggling not to scream because the rest of her family would definitely hear. Every one of her breaths was a gasp now. It was not in her nature to keep quiet, but Jasper was making it look easy - all you could hear was his heavy breathing.

She gasped loudly again, almost failing in her attempt at silence, but regaining her sanity quickly. She swallowed and pursed her lips, wanting to see Jaspers expression, but not managing to open her eyes.

Let's change images here, because it gets pretty graphic, and rather allow me to explain how they ended up in this position (excuse the pun) when they usually aren't so stupid as to do this when their family's home and Alice obviously isn't good at keeping quiet:

They were out hunting, all alone, running through the forests high up in the mountain, chasing a cougar, zigzagging between trees at high speed.

Well, apparently, something about hunting just gets vampires...excited. Or maybe it only affects these two, but it really doesn't matter. I'm sorry to say the cougar didn't make it. If only it had run just al little faster. But after sucking the cougar's blood, they'd ended up sucking each other's faces.

So, instead of hunting, they'd decided in intense, hot sex.

This brings us back to the graphics:

Jasper was now on top (you really don't want to know how he got there) which was not the norm. He was just too gentle, so Alice normally had to lead, and that was the easiest place to do it from. He was holding her wrists, pinning her arms to the bed. This was very out of character for Jasper, who was normally the pinned, not the pinner.

Alice was fairly in character until Jasper put his hand on her breast: she stroked his arm with her free hand and pulled Jasper closer, she nestled her head into his shoulder, and moved her hand from his arm into his hair. She wasn't even concentrating on keeping quiet anymore; it just seemed to come naturally. Jasper, on the other hand, was very close to losing it.

"Mm, Jacob," Alice purred, and then gasped, not because of what Jasper had just done (which was definitely a new trick) but because she realised what she'd just said.

"What!?" Jasper shouted half relieved for the excuse to release some of what he was hoping he could do. He jumped back a little, out of Alice's reach.

"I...I..." Alice stuttered, still breathing heavily.

"Is that why you were acting so different?" Jasper asked, still unbelieving.

"You were too! What's your excuse?" she shot back.

"I'm not the one who called out another man's name when–"

"Well if you called out a man's name I'd be very worried!" Alice cut Jasper off. She glared at him and noticed Jasper's surprise at her defensive attitude.

"Ha, ha, very funny," Jasper said, using sarcasm for the first time in his life.

They stopped talking, and stared each other down. Jasper's eyes were still showing signs of hurt and confusion even though he was trying to look tough.

"Who is Jacob anyway?" Jasper asked after a while.

"None of your business..." Alice grumbled, upset about ruining what Jasper was doing.

"I think it is. He just happens to be your mind-lover who I do all those things for, obviously just to help his reputation."

"'Mind-lover'?" Alice asked.

"Just answer the question," Jasper said softly.

"Uuh..." she said.

"What?" Jasper said worried now about why she was so scared to tell him.

"You won't hate me? I mean, it was only an accident," Alice pleaded.

"Just tell me," Jasper sighed, upset about losing what he'd had going for him because of this.

"Black... Jacob Black," Alice said.

"WHAT!?!" Jasper shouted, to angry and upset to notice the corny James Bond way Alice had said the name. He jumped out of bed, flung open the door and stormed out into the hallway, slamming the door behind him.

"Jasper..." Alice whispered, completely upset now. Why had she done that? Was there something in her heart she hadn't noticed before?

Then she noticed something interesting: unless she was mistaken Jasper was still naked when he stormed out the door. No, it couldn't be, she was probably just too upset to notice when he got dressed. Jasper was never that stupid.

Hope you liked it! Hope I didn't cause an uproar! Note: this is a comedy, so it's not meant to be taken seriously! It's just for fun!

Please R&R? Even if you hated it. You can tell me. I won't be mad.