We need more light-hearted romance stories out here. I'm just trying to make a contribution, although this might be a tad borderline Parody. Elizabeth Prentiss will be pretty OOC just to let you know ahead of time. Characters crossover for sure are Kitty, Edward and Larry so it will be an AU past for Aaron Hotchner. There won't be much drama in this like the show, hopefully. I hated it when Dharma kissed Charlie in that one episode.

Love Attracts Crazy

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Summary:

CM, Dharma & Greg style A/U: When Aaron Hotchner and Emily Prentiss meet, it's love at first sight. H/P, M/G, JJ/Reid. Team-centric. Characters crossover: Kitty, Edward, Larry & more.

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Episode 1, Part 1: "Parents and Boyfriends."

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Edward Hotchner was rich. Filthy, stinkin' rich. He wasn't going to deny it. Which was probably why the sigh so easily escaped from his lips before he could stop it, as he stared back into the intense brown eyes of his son whom sat with his legs crossed on the chair across from his large mahogany desk. He rubbed his hands together in the awkward silence and frowned at the younger man, looking at him stoically.

"Let me get this straight, Aaron. I'm wealthy, I own a multi-million dollar company that I've offered to you over, I dunno, a dozen times and you still want to go into…what'd you call it – the BA something?"

Much to Edward's dismay, his son slowly smiled. "The BAU – and that about sums it up," he drawled.

"What…what about being a lawyer?"

Aaron grimaced. He shot a hand up to pinch the bridge of his nose. "I thought about it, dad," he said slowly. He then brought his hand back down to his lap.

"And?" Edward asked cautiously.

Aaron shrugged. "And it's not worth it. I quit it yesterday."

Boy, if Kitty found out about this…

"You what!"

Edward and Aaron both turned to see Kitty standing in the open doorway, her arms crossed over her yellow blouse, a look of utter disbelief on her face. Aaron went to stand up. "Mother, look," he tried.

Kitty held up a hand to stop him. He clamped his mouth shut and sat down, slumping into the chair slightly as his mother strolled into the office. "Don't you 'mother' me," she said.

"Kitty."

Edward sighed as Kitty began to pace, ignoring both son and husband.

"Oh, Edward. I can't believe what I just heard!"

Edward grimaced. Leave it to Kitty to overreact. "And what did you hear?"

Kitty shot him a glare that rivaled Aaron's. Like mother like son. "I can't believe you, Edward. Can't you be serious for even one second? Your son just said he'd rather take a more chaotic job that endangers his life every chance it gets over a nice, safe, higher-paying desk job that you, his father, offered to him!"

Edward frowned. He really needed a drink. "Oh. Was that all?"

Kitty looked at him in dismay. "Edward! Aaron, our son, is trying to commit suicide here! And you're just going to sit there and let him do it?"

"I am not, mother," Aaron protested.

Kitty shot him a withering look. "Don't you dare talk to me – I'm very upset with you right now." She looked back at Edward. "And you! I have nothing more to say to you too."

Edward held back a sigh. His eyes darted to Aaron and then back to Kitty. "So we're done talking?"

Kitty didn't say anything. She turned on her heels and left the room. Edward turned back to face Aaron. For a long moment, neither of them said a word to each other. Then…

"Want to get drunk with me, son?" Edward stood up and fished for his wallet.

Aaron sighed and followed his father out the office. "Sure, why not?"

Love knew no bounds.

Emily Prentiss gritted her teeth together as she watched the woman and man tongue wrestle with each other. Was Elizabeth still mad at her daughter for bringing home that man she met at a bar the other night without asking for her permission first?

But this wasn't love. At least she hoped it wasn't.

She clenched her hands tightly in her lap as they continued to try and rip each other's hairs out (and not their clothes thankfully). This was an office, a workplace, a supposed sanctuary that Emily came to appreciate (until this morning). Emily glanced at the door. She could just imagine at any moment now, someone was going to open that door and find her mother, the ambassador and some smelly old dude with a ponytail feeling each other up right here, in public, in the ambassador's office and Emily was just going to die of embarrassment.

She watched helplessly as the man bit her mother's lip and her mother let out a low groan. That was enough. Emily stood up. She couldn't take it anymore. Never again would she take a man to her mother's house. Point taken. Lesson learned. She got it. She stalked over to the door. But she froze as her hand touched the handle.

"Not so fast, Emily," came her mother's voice.

Emily tried not to groan herself. What now? "Yes?"

"Come over here and listen to your mother right now, young lady!"

Emily grimaced. What?

"You don't have to yell, Larry. I didn't really say anything to her yet," Elizabeth chided softly.

"Ri-ight. Got it. Sorry."

Emily turned anyway. And instantly wished she didn't. Her mother looked a little disheveled. Her arms still wrapped around the man's waist. Larry had a dumb grin on his face. This was a match made in hell, not heaven.

"I get the point," Emily blurted out.

Elizabeth raised an eyebrow at the declaration. She knew immediately what Emily meant by it. She looked over to her new boyfriend. Larry had furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, apparently not sure what she was talking about. But that was OK. He would soon enough. She gestured for Emily to sit again.

Emily sighed and took the chair she had before. "I won't bring any more guys to the house without your permission."

"And?" Elizabeth prompted.

Emily stared at her mother blankly. "And what? That's it."

"No. You will not bring any more men home period."

"Period?" Emily echoed slowly. Did she hear that right? "As in not at all? Not even to my own apartment?"

"That's right. I won't have my daughter dating," Elizabeth said. "Period."

Emily pursed her lips. Was this really happening? "Mother! I'm a grown woman!"

"Period," Elizabeth repeated. "End of story."

"Are you kidding me? You can't tell me what to do!"

Larry looked between the two. It was a staring contest between mother and daughter. He wondered if now was one of those times when the man had to step in. It is, you buffoon a part of him said. But not before…He looked blankly at Elizabeth. The woman seemed to sense him staring and said forcefully, "What is it, Larry?"

"Can I say it now?" he asked, gesturing to what he said earlier.

Elizabeth looked at him in disbelief. Was he really asking for permission? Her last husband wasn't nearly as submissive as this. "Yes. Yes, I believe you can," she said once she gathered her wits back. I don't like him for his brain – or lack of one, remember that, Elizabeth.

Larry gave her a lopsided grin and kissed her on the lips. "I love you, hunny," he murmured.

Elizabeth froze. Love?

Emily looked from one to the other suspiciously. What the hell was going on here? As far as she knew, they'd only met a week ago. She narrowed her eyes further. Wait, how did they meet anyway?

"What's going on?" she asked loudly.

The man and woman pulled away quickly. "Listen to your mother," Larry snapped suddenly.

Emily stared at him, disbelief written all over her face. Larry then turned back to Elizabeth and the two shared a look that made Emily want to puke. "How was that?" Larry asked.

Elizabeth smirked. "Very," she paused. "Commanding."

"Not too commanding?"

Emily sank deep into her chair. "No. Just perfect." This was going to be a very, very long day. She just knew it.