Hello, readers! I had this idea last summer when my mom was on a total Monopoly kick and made us play for hours and hours. Anyway, here's what surfaced! Enjoy.
Disclaimer: If I were CLAMP, I wouldn't have had time in the summer to play Monopoly for hours and hours. I'd be sweating my butt off to keep deadlines (which would never happen). Oh, and I also don't own Monopoly.
"Look what I found!"
The madness started when Sakura came down from the upper landing, a large rectangular box in her hands. She smiled and blew the dust off the surface, revealing large, bright lettering and a drawing of a man with a top hat and a large white moustache. "I don't know what it says, but it caught my eye while I was cleaning the cupboard."
Syaoran came over to her and studied the writing. It was certainly vibrant, but he hadn't the slightest idea what it meant or what it was. Both Fai and Kurogane joined them but no one could decipher the mystery of the box.
That was, until Mokona bounded into the room from the kitchen, cookie crumbs still stuck to its fur.
"Ooh, Mokona loves that game!" it cried in that shrill voice.
The magician kneeled next to Mokona with that carefree smile of his. "Are you saying the box Sakura-chan found is a game?"
The white ball of fluff nodded its head. "Uh-huh! It's a board game! Yuko loves it because she always wins."
Fai looked delighted. Kurogane winced and backed up a step, afraid of what was going to spill out of the mage's mouth next. "Well, we don't have any idea where Sakura-chan's feather is, so how about we play? Moko-chan, do you think you could teach us?" At another nod from the creature that always reminded Kurogane of a manju bun, the mage, princess, and kid all started setting the table in the kitchen for the game. Kurogane stood in a corner and pretended not to be interested, but he couldn't help but glance over at them every so often.
Inside the box was a board with names like Atlantic Avenue and St. James Place all around the border, many different bills of paper currency, little gold figurines, two dice, and an assortment of red and green wooden house-like shapes. Mokona explained to Fai how to set up the game and how to play. Syaoran and Sakura handed out the different colored fake bills to five spots as Mokona instructed. It took them a while to fully understand the concept and the many rules of the game (Syaoran had to repeat parts to both Sakura and Fai on numerous occasions), but eventually they all sat down around the table. Kurogane protested, saying he didn't want to play any stupid games with idiotic, cheating magicians and psycho manju buns, but once Fai fought him into a seat he just sat and moped.
Fai had offered to be banker, but when Kurogane almost bit his head off because the mage was sure to cheat, it was decided Syaoran would take the position.
They all chose their pieces; Syaoran would take the little figurine of the man on a horse, Sakura the car (it reminded her of Piffle World), Mokona the bag of money, and Fai the top hat.
Kurogane had actually wanted the car (he surrendered it when he saw the Princess reach for it, though), and the manju had taken his second pick. Seeing the ninja's dilemma, the mage picked up a piece and tossed it at him. "Here you are, Kuro-woof!" he told him brightly.
He caught it and could feel his blood boiling as he stared. It was in the shape of a small dog. "What the hell?" he yelled at the mage.
"A dog for Big Puppy!" Fai informed him, as though it was the most obvious, logical thing in the world.
"WOULD YOU STOP WITH THAT ALREADY?"
Mokona leapt onto Kurogane's face and hit his face with its small hand. "Big Puppy's being a bad sport!"
Fai, ignoring the tug-of-war battle happening to his right, said, "Sakura-chan, since you found the game, would you like to start?"
The game was slow to start with. Sakura landed on Free Parking every time she went around and never had to pay when she picked up a Chance or Community Chest card. Syaoran tried to buy up the reasonably priced properties, while Kurogane would turn down anything but those over $300. Mokona would buy anything it landed on, and Fai bought up the properties no one else seemed to really want, like the railroads, utilities, and absurdly cheap properties.
Eventually, nearly all the properties were bought, and that could mean only one thing:
Bartering time.
"Kuro-taaaaan," Fai cooed. He had just been about to shake the dice for his turn. "What do you say we make ourselves a little deal?"
Kurogane scoffed. "Forget it."
Fai sighed dramatically, hanging his head. "That's too bad… who will I ever get to take Boardwalk off my hands?" He flashed a card with dark blue at the top.
The ninja's eyes drifted towards the card entitled Park Place on his own side. He glared back up at the magician. "What do you want for it?"
"Just Mediterranean…"
Kurogane raised an eyebrow. The airhead was definitely up to something. Mediterranean was the least expensive property in the game (Kurogane had only bought it because he knew the mage had the other one and it was sure to annoy him), and Boardwalk was the most. The deal would be completely one-sided.
"… and maybe one thousand dollars…"
Syaoran, Sakura, and Mokona all gasped in shock.
"EH? Why the hell would I give you that much money?"
"Because, you'd have the most expensive property in the game and the most expensive monopoly! I'd be out the first time I landed on you if you had hotels on there." Fai told him simply. "All I would have is one teeny tiny monopoly that would hardly make a dent in your wallet."
Kurogane looked over to the kid, but he was busy talking to the Princess about a deal of their own. He was trying to convince her that if she was trading him Marvin Gardens for St. Charles Place, he should also give her 500 dollars, since she paid more for Marvin Gardens than he did for St. Charles. The white manju was encouraging her to take the deal.
He had to be crazy for even considering it. Kurogane's gaze found Park Place again, and it seemed to call to him, like it wanted to be complete. After all, what harm could one thousand dollars really do him? Especially since Boardwalk with a hotel was twice that amount. He'd have it back in no time. And that pot in the middle had been growing steadily since the last time the Princess had landed on Free Parking….
He closed his eyes and crossed his arms. He was getting the better deal, after all. "Fine," he grunted. Fai did a cheer, grabbed two of Kurogane's $500 bills and Mediterranean, and handed the ninja Boardwalk. Sakura managed to get Syaoran to lower his offer to $300 before they made the trade (Kurogane would never understand that deal).
"Alright, your turn, Kuro-rin!"
Kurogane grinned wickedly. "Alright, I'll build a hotel on Boardwalk and Park Place each!"
His exclamation was met with silence.
"Um, Kurogane-san…." Syaoran's gaze lowered to the measly stack of bills in front of the ninja, all of which lower than one hundred.
"Kuro-pii didn't listen to the rules!" Mokona announced, chuckling to itself at poor Kurogane's misfortune.
"What?" Kurogane demanded. Only Fai would ever be brave enough to reply to the harsh tone.
"Silly Kuro-myuu —" he ducked from Kurogane's wild swing "— has to buy houses and hotels! He can't just expect the bank to give them to him!"
"Eh? But I have a damn monopoly! I got the two cards, fair and square!"
Fai snatched one of the two cards Kurogane was showing off as proof. "Let's see… yup! It says you have to pay $200 for every house and $200 plus four other houses for a hotel."
Kurogane snatched the card back and read the lines at the bottom in disbelief. Fai smiled slyly at him. "Looks like someone should have paid attention. How much is it for him to put hotels on each, Syaoran-kun?"
"Two thousand dollars," Syaoran replied quickly. It had been clear within the first few minutes of the game that Syaoran was the best choice for banker after all, since the math seemed to come so easily to him.
Kurogane seemed to notice the fatal flaw in his recent deal. "You did that on purpose, you bastard! What good's a monopoly if I can't build on it?"
"If you can't build, you may as well roll, Kuro-sama," Fai mused, ignoring Kurogane's heated glares.
After a while more, the first houses were built. Mokona wasn't so lucky and happened to land on Kurogane's Park Place with three houses on it (he did eventually get enough money again to build) and couldn't pay the $1100 the ninja so ruthlessly demanded. With lots of taunting from both ends, Mokona finally sulked over to Fai for comfort.
Surprisingly, Syaoran was the next to face bankruptcy. Sakura's luck seemed to only go towards her landing on good things, not avoiding the not so good things. She landed on Syaoran's properties quite a bit, which normally wouldn't have led to him getting out. He, however, kept making deals to try to make it easier for the Princess, such as "If you give me Oriental, you only have to pay $200," and even "I'll give you a $400 discount if you let me have your Get Out of Jail Free card." Kurogane shook his head as he watched this go on turn after turn, knowing the kid was digging himself into a huge hole. Once her only protection was gone, Sakura followed soon after.
"And then there were two." Fai rested his chin on his palms and waited for Kurogane to take his turn.
The board was completely owned by the only two still left standing. Kurogane owned all properties on the last street, Pacific through Boardwalk, which were the most expensive on the board by far. Fai… owned everything else. Hotels were on each and every property (they ran out of actual hotels, so some had five houses as acting hotels and then some bits of paper on others when all the houses were used up), and each player had a nice stack of $500s and $100s at their disposal. The problem was, they each had a knack for avoiding each other's traps.
It seemed the only person making money was Fai, and that was only in small amounts. Kurogane would stealthily (what else, from a ninja?) sneak past an entire corner of the magician's only to land on a railroad or a utility, all of which were owned by his adversary.
Needless to say, he was getting extremely annoyed. A glance at the clock didn't help much with his ever-growing aggravation.
"We've been at this for over five hours," he said groggily as Fai yet again jumped over a line of his properties, landing safely on GO. Dirty plates were beside them from when Sakura had brought them dinner an hour or two ago.
"If you're so anxious to join the kids and go to bed, you could always forfeit," Fai suggested. He held his nearly empty glass of champagne by the brim, dangling it. "On your way up, could you get me another drink?"
"I never said anything about forfeiting," he growled. Always one to try and prove the mage wrong, he quickly swept up the dice and threw them across the table.
"Two fives," Fai read, since they were nearer to him now. Kurogane had been on Electric Company before, which meant…. "Oh, Kuro-rin, you actually landed on one of my properties! Time to pay up!"
He scowled and handed over the bills. There was no need to worry though; he still had plenty of moola left.
"Go again."
"Huh?"
"You rolled doubles," Fai said simply, motioning to the dice. "Roll again."
Kurogane could vaguely remember one of the kids having to do this earlier. He sighed. "Fine, hand 'em over." Without a moment's hesitation, he tossed them down again.
"Two threes. Well, would you look there! Another one of my properties. Kuro-popo, you're losing your touch," Fai chided as the ninja angrily dropped his terrier on the yellow property. Muttering a few choice words to himself, said ninja counted out the bills he owed and handed them over.
"Go again."
"Seriously?" More than a little frustrated, he threw the dice with all his might (he had to take his anger out on something, right?). They bounced off the table and spiraled towards Fai. Once connected and shattered the champagne glass he was still holding. The mage dodged the other easily, which had chosen his face as a target.
"My, my, Kuro-wan needs to control his temper a bit more, methinks," the blonde chuckled to himself. He ignored the other's glare as he got up to search for the two dice. It only took a moment to find them. "Uh-oh."
That sounded promising for him. "What?" Kurogane asked, getting up and joining the mage. Fai pointed, and he found the dice. "Two sixes." Heart skipping a beat, he turned back to the table. "Hah! I'm on GO! I get four hundred dollars." It seemed things would be perfectly fine after all.
Or maybe not.
The look on the mage's face was nothing but pity, which enraged Kurogane the moment he saw it. Why the hell should he be pitied? "Kuro-bon, you're in jail."
He narrowed his eyes. Was the stupid blonde blind now? "I got a twelve, which takes me to GO," he protested.
Fai simply shook his head. "Sorry to burst your bubble, Kuro-nya, but if you get three doubles in one turn, you're automatically sent to jail."
"You mean…"
"Do not land on GO. Do not collect four hundred dollars."
That's it, it was official. This game and this world hated him. He had to pinch the bridge of his nose to help subdue the oncoming headache. "You know what? Fine. I'll go to jail." He rather forcefully slammed his piece down inside the space marked for jail and then sat down, feeling more exhausted than he had in a long time. "Your turn."
Fai picked up the dice and surveyed the board. Then he frowned and set the dice back down onto the table. "I forfeit."
Kurogane stared. "What?"
"I forfeit," he repeated simply. "You're in jail, and you'll probably be in there for three turns. I won't make any money. Meanwhile, I'll still have to go. My luck's run out. I'll land on your properties each time, and I'll be out. You win." At Kurogane's incredulous look, he sighed. "Look, I'm tired, you're tired, and we already know the outcome of the game. I don't want to fight you until the last dollar. There isn't any point in going any further."
Kurogane couldn't believe his ears. "After all of this, you're just going to quit?"
"Goodnight." The blonde turned and headed towards the stairs. Before he could even ascend the first step, he felt a strong hand grasp his arm and pull him back. He sighed and rolled his eyes. "Honestly, Kuro-pi. I'm tired and I don't want to play anymore."
"Why? Are you afraid of losing?"
"No. Some of us here aren't bad sports."
Kurogane decided to ignore that jab at him. "Then what is it?"
The mage pulled himself away from the other's grasp and ran a hand through his hair. "Why do we have to care about the end result, the final conflict? Why can't we just forget about that and only care about the fun we had getting there?"
Kurogane didn't like where this was headed, and he was sure his expression showed it. "There wouldn't be any point. Things can't just go on forever; they have to end sometime."
Fai's face and entire demeanor was surprisingly serious. "And if they don't end the way you like?"
"It's just a damn game," he stressed, though he was more than fairly sure that they weren't talking about the board game anymore.
"And we're just pawns."
They just stood there for a moment, Kurogane trying to take in and make sense of what had just happened. Finally, he gave up. Grabbing Fai's arm again, he dragged him over to the table and forced him to sit down. "We're finishing this."
It took a moment, but Fai seemed to concede at last. He threw the dice. The game continued.
Things unfolded just as Fai had foretold. Kurogane remained in jail while Fai landed on every space of Kurogane's that was possible. By the end of the third turn, Fai was bankrupt.
"Satisfied?" Fai asked, his cheerful disposition still absent. Kurogane didn't answer. Without another word, he left the table and headed up the stairs.
The ninja sighed and ran his hand through his spiky hair. Things could never be simple with that guy.
"Oh, and Kuro-mo," he heard Fai call from the upper level. "Winner cleans up."
He scanned over the mess of a kitchen they had left. This was not going to be fun. "Bastard."
A/N: Well, there it is! I hope you enjoyed it. I based this off of the way my family plays Monopoly, but I know a lot of people play it differently, so here's a couple of things that I know might be different for people:
The way we play, if we get a Community Chest card or a Chance card and we have to pay, but not to a player, we put the money in the middle of the game board, along with $500 from the bank (there are some other instances where the money goes in the middle, like paying to get out of Jail). If someone lands on Free Parking, they get all of the cash in the center and then another $500 bill is placed in the middle again for the next person. I'm not sure if everyone plays by the doubles rules we do, but I think I explained those pretty well in the story. Also, we all know that if you pass GO, you collect $200. We play it that if you are fortunate enough to land on GO, you get $400. I think that's about it...
Thank you for reading! I'd love to hear your feedback in reviews.
-Kiana