A/N: Disclaimer: © The Hunger Games belongs to Suzanne Collins and so do all the characters in this story. Not including the characters I made for the story.

Summary: Katniss knew Peeta and her were over and done with. She knew the fact that them coming back together and making something like a relationship was unattainable. She knew all of these things, but a part of her refused to believe it. Post Mockingjay.

Rekindling Harmony

"Love is giving somebody the ability to destroy you but trusting them not to."-Anonymous

I trek down the stairs tiredly. The smell of eggs on the stove and freshly toasted bread fills my nostrils as I walk to the kitchen of my house in the Victor's Village. I see the usual like I do every morning. Greasy Sae, her granddaughter, and Peeta. They all take part in the breakfast preparations while I watch them quietly with a bored look playing on my face.

Greasy Sae's is overseeing the eggs, her granddaughter is searching in the cabinet for plates, and Peeta is working on the bread. They come every morning and afternoon. To make me breakfast and dinner which I'm perfectly capable of. My whole suicide attempts are over and done with; they don't have make sure. I get tired of watching them and walk around the house. My feet carry me to the study where I had my tea and cookies with President Snow who is now deceased.

I recall the horror that played on my mother's face and how she asked me how my walk went. Obviously, I was out hunting, but she couldn't say that in front of Snow. I remember the way he told me about a possible uprising and how Peeta and I should remain blissfully love or our loved ones would be killed off. The smell of crimson blood that was in his breath fills me with disgust.

The terrible memory makes me lean against the wall my back facing it. Slowly, I length lower and lower to the floor and I sit with my knees up and my face buried into them. I don't cry. I just sit there and think of all the things that have happened since my meeting with Snow in this very room. The Quarter Quell, Prim's death, Gale's going to District 2, mother working in District 4, Peeta's hijacking, meeting Finnick Odair, and going to District 13.

All the memories, good and bad, sad or happy, spiral out of my mind the very moment I hit the ground. I cover my eyes with my hands in a desperate attempt to get the memories out of my mind. Maybe I should call Dr. Aurelius. He obviously helped Peeta and his problems. I dismiss the thought, since all of our appointments were nap time events. Even though we both enjoyed them while they lasted.

The sound of small feet clacking on the hardwood floor snaps me out of reverie. Melba, Greasy Sae's granddaughter, peaks her head into the doorway playfully. She then giggles to herself and smiles, "Hi, Katniss. Peeta, grandmother, and I made the best breakfast ever! Come on!"

I smile at little Melba and think of the resemblance between her and two other girls I failed to protect. I fight the strong urge to frown deeply, "Thanks, Melba."

Melba surprisingly prods her hand out for me to hold. I take it and we walk to the kitchen together. She says quietly, "Grandmother said that you're lonely, Katniss. I'll be your friend, everyone needs a friend."

I am too stunned to speak, but I manage, "Melba, that's very sweet. I do feel lonely a lot, I guess that's what happens when you have a big empty house and no one to share it with."

Melba lets go of my hand and hugs me, "Grandmother also said to give you one of those. A hug is a sign of friendship, right?"

I hug her back, "Right, let's go get some breakfast."

Lonely. The thought never occurred to me. I mean, I'm used now to the whole empty house and no one to share it with. I don't want to share this house; the memories are too much to bear. But not for me, and that is why I go alone. Another word rings in my ears; friend. I cringe because most of my friends ended up dead or left me. Gale, Madge, Finnick, Cinna, and even Prim. They all left me and the terrible legacy they left follows me. All that leaves is Peeta.

Peeta. My supposed lover, who a few months ago thought I was no longer human. He thought I was a Capitol made muttation out to kill anything with a soul that breathed air. He's better now, but the thought of Peeta and I growing back together or rekindling back what we had is less likely than another Hunger Games. He barely talks to me which I guess is a sign of being done with me. Just like everyone else is.

When we make it to the kitchen the table is set. A pitcher of lemonade, scrambled eggs, hot toast, and ham are on the table. I take my usual seat next to Greasy Sae who gives me a plate of everything on it. She pours me a glass of lemonade also. I look around and my eyes soon fall on Peeta who's drying his hands. He looks so different from the psycho and berserk person months ago. He gained the weight back by eating and working out or so Greasy Sae tells me. His blond locks look even brighter than usual, his skin has lost its unattractive pasty look, and last of all his eyes. They look just like they did before he was tortured. Welcoming and warm just like they used to be.

I guess he feels my intent leering and he looks up at me. I meet his gaze and think of something to say, but all too soon his eyes flit away.

Ouch. The whole eyes meeting then flitting away scenario is like a punch in the face. It hurts knowing that Peeta, whom I've went through so much with can't even look me right in the eye anymore. I thought we over this, but Peeta finds new ways to distance himself from me. Maybe it's part of his therapy to stay away from me, the supposed mentally crazed lunatic.

It's like Peeta doesn't want anything to do with me anymore. He only comes in the mornings and the afternoons. The mornings for breakfast and the afternoons for dinner and dropping off fresh bread. I bet he even sees Haymitch more than he actually sees me. Maybe I don't need pity visits from Peeta; life the way it is now is fine. I sigh rather loudly and start to eat my hot breakfast.

Breakfast is quiet as usual. No one is in the mood to talk. Only the occasional asking someone to pass the food is uttered.

"You know," says Peeta awkwardly trying to make conversation, "What you've done with the eggs, Greasy Sae is great. They taste better than usual."

The eggs do taste different, but maybe I'm too caught up in my own thoughts to notice.

Greasy Sae smiles brightly, "Thanks, Peeta. Your toast tastes heavenly."

Silence. I tiredly tap my foot wanting breakfast to be over so I can take a long nap. The words escape my mouth before I even know I'm saying them, "Yes, Greasy Sae's right. The toast tastes great, Peeta."

Peeta looks down at his plate the instant he hears my voice, "Thanks, Katniss. You both, I appreciate it."

I want to go over there. I resist the urge to run to Peeta and tell that I'm not mad or upset. That he can look me in the eyes when he talks to me because I'm his friend and he is mine. Friend. That word again; I've never thought of Peeta as nothing more than a good friend. But now that he's not even talking to me the label goes back down to an acquaintance.

I still want to talk to him though. But instead I sit. Frozen, cold, and stiff as I always am. Breakfast ends all too quickly. Melba and Greasy Sae trudge back home after the dishes are done. Leaving Peeta and I alone for the first time in a while.

I decide I'm going to be blunt about this, "Are you mad at me?"

Peeta freezes automatically making me glad I got response. He muses his hair, "No, I couldn't be mad at you, Katniss."

I feel frustrated, "Then how come you can't even look me in the eye, Peeta! You've been so closed off since you came back from the Capitol!"

Peeta bangs his fist on the table and instantly turns to me. His eyes bore into mine with anger. I even see a bit of torment in them, "Is this what you want?" he demands scoffing a little, "For me to look at you? You don't know anything about what's going on."

I flinch at his gaze, but I hold my ground, "I just want to know why you never talk to me."

Peeta drops his gaze and looks at the window, "No. It's not you, it's me. Ever since I got back home from the Capitol I've been trying to find myself again. It's hard, believe you me. I'm sorry I came off cold."

I look down at my shoes and answer indifferently, "You could have told me."

Peeta sighs heavily and looks at his hands, "I know, I just...I just. Never mind, I have to leave," he then walks to the door and smiles sadly, "Bye."

He doesn't even wait for my response because he walked out the door, but I still say, "Bye, Peeta."

My feet feel like they're about to collapse from the all the running I'm doing. I turn around just to see what's chasing me for the briefest second when they hiss through their forked tongues, "Katniss, Katniss..."

My feet take off even faster. I have to get away from the mutts or else the outcome will not be in my favor. I run into a flourish of trees and look around for somewhere to hide or even a friendly face. Someone or something that can help me survive. I trip over a rock and I come tumbling face first into the ground. I shake my head as I sit up. Blood trickles down my face. I touch my nose and feel nothing except a red slick liquid. My nose is broken.

"Katniss, save us. We need you. Help." they murmur as they come nearer to me. I try my best to pull myself up, but I realize that my left leg is stuck in a ditch. I try to pull my leg out. I pull with all my might, but no avail. I curse angrily, and spit some blood from my mouth. The mutts come to me and circle around me. I finally get a good look at them; they're a bird and lizard hybird. Their skin is turquoise and scaly, they hiss at me showing their three pronged fork tongues. Their green snake-like eyes glare at me with pure hatred.

"Katniss, why did you leave us?" they murmur with anger their eyes boring into mine, "We just need your help. Just your help."

I put my hands to me head in an attempt to crush it, "Leave me alone!" I yell to the mutts, "I haven't done anything wrong."

The mutts aren't even looking at me, they seem to be staring at something in the distance. Then they leave and disappear instantly. I pull harder and my foot comes out from the ditch. I sit down on the ground and then it hits my ears and my feet take off at once.

Prim.

She's screaming a blood curdling screech calling my name desperately, "Katniss, save me! They're hurting me! Make it stop!"

"Prim!" I yell looking around at my surroundings, "Prim! I can't find you, where are you? Prim!"

I run through the trees in a vain attempt to find my screaming little sister. When I find her she's wearing a white dress stained with deep red blood. I touch her shoulder in a comforting way to tell her that I'm here. She turns around sharply as if my touch gives her nothing. She runs into my arms and puts her head to my chest.

She looks up at me; her eyes are so big and frightened as she says quietly, "Katniss, make it stop..."

"I'm here, Prim. It's over," I coo to her softly to her. My eyes bulge in disbelief as Prim shoves me away from her and pulls out a knife. The knife is silver with a sharp tint that gleams in the sunlight. The light is so blinding that I put my hand to my eyes in an attempt to shield them. Prim walks over to me slowly.

"Prim?" I ask alarmed at what she may do with the knife. For she wouldn't hurt me with it. I'm her sister, her older sister who provided for her and made sure she survived. She wouldn't hurt me at all, right?

Prim licks the hilt of the knife with her tongue making me cringe, "Do you know, how much you make me sick? Every time I look at you, I feel like...I feel like. Killing you. You're a pathetic excuse for a human, Katniss. You couldn't and you didn't save anyone," she crosses to me and spits on me, she whispers, "You're weak. You couldn't even save me."

Prim then shoves the knife into my stomach and runs away. I fall to the ground and put my hand to my wound. I taste my own blood in my mouth and I scream. I thrash around screaming hoping for a miracle.

"Katniss, save us! Help!"

"You're weak, you couldn't even save me."

"Katniss, Katniss..."

My screams abruptly stop because I've lost the ability to speak. Then all too soon, I see a light coming towards me. A light so bright flashes right before my eyes...

I bolt upright out of bed and feel sweat all over my body, "It was just a dream," I tell myself hotly, "It was just a dream..."

I fall back onto the bed and sob pulling the covers over my head. For some reason this dream hits me in the gut; right where it hurts the most. It reminds me of how many souls I failed to protect. Including my own little sister. Little Prim telling me she's disgusted with me, that I make her sick, and calling me weak makes me sob harder. To top it off she ended up killing me. I never knew what a horrible kind of human I am.

It's official. I'm a menace.

I try to use the technique Dr. Aurelius told me to use:

My name is Katniss Everdeen. I am seventeen years old. My home is District 12. I was the Mockingjay during the rebellion. My little sister died during an attack. I killed President Coin. I was pardoned for my crime and all is well now...

Except everything is not, I think. I get up out of bed and change out of my damp clothes not bothering to take a shower. I instead wash my face and walk downstairs and sit at the dining room table. Then I see it right by the television. The phone. Maybe I should call Dr. Aurelius, and talk about this dream. The technique didn't work as I liked it to. Without even giving them permission, my feet carry me to the phone and my fingers dial his number.

After a few seconds I hear his voice, "Hello?"

I answer, "Dr. Aurelius?"

"Katniss? Katniss Everdeen? I knew my message would get to you somehow."

I clear my throat and speak louder, "I, uh. I had a dream, Dr. Aurelius. It was bad."

"Oh, that's not good. About what, dear?" he asks.

"I was running away from some mutts in the forest and they were chanting my name and asking for my help. Then they ran away and Prim, my little sister, started screaming. When I came to here she stopped screaming and pulled out a knife," I take a pause, "She then started going off about how much I make her sick, then she killed me."

Dr. Aurelius takes a moment to think of what to say, "Close your eyes." he instructs.

I laugh incredulously, "What?"

"I said close your eyes," he repeats, "Don't peek."

I sigh and foolishly close my eyes letting the doctor get what he wants, "Okay, now what?"

"Think of your little sister. Think of what a young and adolescent little girl she was. Think of what she did to always bring a smile on your face, think of a moment when you thought you didn't deserve her love. Think of a moment with her that made you so happy that you had her, you can't even fathom it."

I think instantly of when I got her her goat, Lady. I tell him the whole story and I hear the smile in his voice, "Think of Primrose's smile, Katniss. Now, I'm going to tell you that Primrose would never hurt you. You have to believe me okay? She died an honorable death and she is with everyone. Open your eyes."

I open them and feel immensely better, "Thanks, I should of called you earlier, Peeta said you wanted me to."

Dr. Aurelius says, "Peeta? How is the boy doing?"

I smile proudly as I answer, "He's doing great, but he still has his flashes. Anyway, I just wanted know if you could fix me up like you fixed him."

Dr. Aurelius takes a while to speak, "Dear, Peeta...he's still unstable. In fact, it's not even safe for him to be out. He only left because I convinced them he was better-"

I cut him off abruptly, "What are you saying?"

"There's the slighted chance, Peeta may never get better, Katniss. I have an appointment to get to, call me soon. Bye." then the line went off.

I walk back to the table and sit down. I look at my hands and feel tears stream down my face. Peeta. What did he mean when he said Peeta may never get better? It's obvious to everyone that he's making great progress. Then it hits me that I'm never around Peeta that much anymore. He may be clawing at everything he sees and screaming at the top of his lungs when I'm away.

Maybe he's acting like a sane person for me? For my benefit, but he wouldn't do that. He doesn't even care about me. I stand up and kick the chair back in, I storm out the door to Haymitch's house. When I get there Haymitch has his eyes closed and he's sprawled over his couch in the living room with the television still on. A bottle of hard white liquor dangles in his right hand a knife in the other.

I turn the television off and I shake Haymitch who's dead drunk.

I try harder to rouse him, "Haymitch, come on."

Haymitch bolts upright instantly and points his knife at my stomach. When he sees it's me he sighs and dramatically falls back down onto his couch, "What do you need, princess?"

Princess? Goodness that's a new one, I sit down on a futon and rub my hands together, "I felt we needed to talk?"

It comes out as a question though.

Haymitch drinks some of his hard drink and blinks a couple of times, "About? I'm not going to ask since last time you got all riled up and left."

I think of months ago after the assassination of Coin how I was on mute. The first person I talked to was Haymitch who asked if I had any "boy troubles". Hurt, I ran away from him which made him try to chase me, but he failed and fell over.

"I don't even know." I answer to my hands.

Haymitch looks annoyed, "Is it about the boy?"

"Which one?" I fire back.

For some crazy reason Haymitch laughs a full on guffaw, "I don't get you two," he says shaking his head, "One minute he likes you, the next you like him...I don't get it. I just don't."

"You're not the only one who doesn't understand," I tell Haymitch ignoring his laughing, "I never know where I stand with Peeta and I hate it."

Haymitch was never one for love advice, but he says, "Talk to him."

I shake my head indifferently, "No, he hates me."

Haymitch chugs down the rest of his liquor, "Then I can't help you, sweetheart."

I stand up and storm out of Haymitch's house. I don't even know what I expected from Haymitch. He's given me nothing.I close the door behind me and sit on the steps of Haymitch's house. After a while of looking over everything that's left of 12 Peeta's front door opens. He steps out and closes the door behind him. His blond locks are a crazy mess atop his head, but in a strange way it fits him. His blue eyes look tired and sleepy too. His eyes turn to me and his expression instantaneously switches hard.

He walks over to me slowly, "Katniss?" he asks with caution, "What are you doing here?"

Peeta's voice takes me by surprise; it sounds so harsh and mean. It's obvious the last thing he wants to do is talk to me.

I answer ruefully, "I...I was talking to Haymitch, Peeta."

Peeta nods, "I see that," he says focusing on my face, "About?"

I don't know why he's so curious, "Peeta, I hardly think that's any of your business." I tell him crossing my arms over my chest.

"Sorry, Katniss," he says with obvious hostility, "I have to go since you probably don't want to talk to me."

He then brushes past me and walks away without even giving me a second glance. I think of the so many ways our exchange could have gone, but I blew it. When he's out of sight I shove my hands into my pockets and go back inside my house thinking only of Prim and the people I failed to protect. Nightmares wrack my sleep.

When I awake in the morning I put my hand to my head and feel how hotter it's gotten. My stomach starts humming loudly. I feel something hot in my stomach and realize I'm going to puke. I get up and scamper to the bathroom as fast as I can. I throw up for a while in the sink.

I use the back of my hand to wipe my mouth, I wash my hands, and I change out of my dirty clothes. I pick up my hunting bag and put on my jacket and boots. I also pick up my quiver. I run down the stairs and see Melba and Greasy Sae. No Peeta.

Of course, he wouldn't come. He hates me and I can't say I'm surprised, "Are you going hunting?" Greasy Sae asks looking at my outfit.

"Yes, you two can stay. I'll eat the leftovers." I answer going for the door and opening it.

"Bye, Katniss!" Melba calls as I close the door. I walk down the village and make it to town where I make to the Seam. For a moment I stare at the place where I use to live with my family. I shake my head and walk to the fence; I crawl over it and make my way down to the forest. After a while of walking around, I take out my bow and pull an arrow out of my quiver and load it looking for something to shoot.

A medium sized rabbit hops its way near a tree. It's out of my light of sight, but still I focus on it.

Just move a little to the left, I think to myself. The sound of loud and obnoxious feet walking in the grass makes the rabbit scamper away. I grit my teeth in irritation and lower my bow. I don't even have to turn to know who it is. You'd think he'd overcome that annoying habit of his by now.

"Peeta," I say through my still gritted teeth in distaste, "What the hell?"

Peeta answers, "I always take a walk, Katniss. What are you doing here?"

"Hunting," I say shortly glaring at Peeta, "The usual."

Peeta puts his hands into his pocket and kicks a pebble around, "Katniss, I'm sorry for the way I acted yesterday," he says avoiding eye contact with me.

I raise an eyebrow, unconvinced, "Really?"

Peeta shakes his head and laughs dryly, "I mean, I knew you were unforgiving, but this," he gestures to me, "This is something different. When people say sorry, Katniss most of the time you forgive them."

"Well, what do you expect, Peeta? That you can be so rude and hostile towards me and I let you get off scott free? That I can just let it go? Well, I can't because you're asking to much of me," I wipe my eyes and feel my voice crack, "You hurt me."

I look at Peeta wondering what he has to say next, his eyes are trained the ground very intently. I can't see his eyes because they're covered by his blond hair. Once, I realize he has nothing better say I turn on my heel away from him and try to walk away, but his hand grips my wrist tightly, "Don't," he whispers gruffly, "Don't leave, Katniss."

I try to jiggle my hand out of his grasp, "Let go of me, Peeta."

Peeta does the exact opposite he pulls me to his chest where I have no choice, but to look him right in his blue eyes. I try harder to pull my hand away, but Peeta's strong; he won't let his guard down. Especially when it comes to me, "Katniss, when I say I'm sorry I mean it. I don't think I could handle it if you hated me."

I stop struggling and answer, "Hated you?" I ask in surprise, "You're the one who can't stand me."

Peeta looks into my eyes and I feel a lump in my throat. I think he's about to kiss me when he leans into me, but he only embraces me in a hug. I'm stunned, but I return the hug and smile into his chest. It's been a while since Peeta and I have harbored physical affection, it feels amazing to have Peeta's warmth and tenderness back that when he pulls away I don't even notice.

He puts his hand on my cheek and rubs it gently, "I could never hate you, you mean too much to me."

My eyes travel to his hand, "You mean it?" I ask lowly.

"I mean it," he says smiling a little showing me that he still has that old classic Peeta charm.

I run into his arms and hug him tightly, "You have no idea how much I've missed you." I tell him clutching to his shirt.

Peeta leans down and kisses my forehead, I'm one not for that kind of affection, but his kiss makes me feel grounded. I don't know how yesterday Peeta and I were sworn enemies who couldn't stand the other, but now we're in the woods embracing each other just like the way we used to. Back then when Peeta and I embraced I didn't realize how much of an effect it had on me, now I realize just how much of an effect Peeta's touch has on me. I know I will not pull away first.

Maybe Peeta and I will not be what we used to be, but now I just want to be his friend. He doesn't have to be my lover; I don't have to be his. Just being here with him is nice. I don't want to jeopardize our imminent friendship. Peeta pulls away and sheepishly smiles, "I don't know about you, but I could eat a horse. Let's get some breakfast."

My hand finds its way to his, "Yes," I say squeezing his hand, "I'd like that."

I think of what little Melba told me this morning, "A hug is a sign of friendship, right?"

Indeed, she's right, I think as Peeta and I walk slowly to the Victor's Village, It is.

A/N: That was chapter one! Please tell me what you think of the story. Pointers and critiques would really help. Happy Easter! :)