AN: Just a one shot that I was thinking about. It's based on Blink 182's song After Midnight. And here's a warning, it may contain nuts, gluten, GMO's and it's NOT organic! But really this is a bit darker. If you don't like darker things, then don't read it. Contains, self harm, implied abuse and it takes place in a mental facility, clearly this is not a fluffy fic.
"Caroline, I'll be back in a week to see you" Liz Forbes said touching her daughter's shoulder
"How about you just take me with you instead?" Caroline snapped back
"You know we talked about this"
"You talked, I pretended to listen."
"You need to stay here"
"No I don't! I'm fine"
"No you're not! If you were you wouldn't be here!"
"I want to live with dad!"
"Well your father's in another state so you can't!"
"This isn't fair! You just want to control me!"
"Stop yelling! You know why you're here, just get better, and we'll talk"
"You always talk and you make me listen, but you never listen to me!"
"I'm sorry honey, but it's for the best"
Liz got up to leave and Caroline panicked. She was really going to leave here here. She ran towards her mother only to have the orderlies pull her back.
"mom! You can't leave me in here! MOM! MOM!" Caroline screamed
Liz glanced back at her daughter and then quickly left. The door closed and she was left alone.
"Mom?"
Klaus was being restrained again. It seemed to be a daily occurrence with him now. He refused to take his pills and they would force him to. They'd take him into the white room, strap him down and force him to take them. He'd look up at the ceiling, the white light blinding him, and for a moment he'd hope it was a terrible nightmare and that he wasn't trapped there. This would be the highlight of his day. They'd kept him locked up in his room because he was violent and dangerous to the other patients. Sometimes they would force the pills into his mouth. Other days he'd feel the needle in his arm. Either way he knew the outcome. The drugs always made him sleepy, made him weak and more pliable. They wanted him weak because he always fought back. He'd always fight, because that was all that he had left. The struggle. Without it he would be like the rest of them. The numerous bruises and cuts would fade but new ones would reappear. And each day he'd keep fighting because he knew he didn't belong there.
Caroline looked around her room. A bed, a round table and chair. No sharp objects. There was a window that had bars on it. She felt like a prisoner. She turned and saw the walls were made of glass. There were shades but they didn't provide much. She watched as 2 orderlies were dragging someone down the hallway. She watched the young man who was dozing in and out of consciousness. He looked up and saw her standing there for a moment before he passed out again.
Elijah waited in the common room. He sat at a table where there were board games laying around but the pieces were missing. He sighed and waited.
Caroline sat down on the couch and realized the tv was always set on cartoons or the animal channel. She sighed. A brunette sat next to her and smiled.
"You're new here" the brunette said
"Yeah" Caroline answered
"I'm Anna"
"Caroline"
"What are you in here for?"
"My mom says I need to be here"
"At least you have a mom, mine got herself killed"
Caroline's eyes went wide and stared at Anna.
"It's easier to be upfront about everything. I'm here because I don't eat and they think I'm too thin, and cause they think I'm crazy now"
"Why don't you eat?"
"Cause I'm fat"
"You're so skinny"
"You're cute new girl, I like you. I'll trade meds with you"
Elijah looked up when he saw Klaus walking towards the table. The orderly was behind him, watching him. Klaus sat down and looked at the game board.
"Niklaus" Elijah said
"Elijah" Klaus answered
"You look, well" Elijah said strained
"I can't tell"
Elijah looked at Klaus's arms and could see the needle marks.
"Are you not taking your medication?" Elijah asked
"I am, they enforce it"
"If you would take them they wouldn't force you"
"You know that I don't belong here, I'm only here because of him."
"You're here because you almost beat a man to death. It was either this or prison"
"But i'm still a minor"
"And that is the only thing that saved you"
"Am I really saved?"
"You're alive, that's all that matters"
"Quality of life brother, does that not matter anymore?"
"It does, you matter"
"Don't lie to me"
"We miss you. We want you to get better so you can come home"
"I have no home"
Anna looked at the paper cup she was given. Inside were colored pills, she wondered which one she should take first. Caroline looked at hers and wondered what they were for. Anna looked over.
"They gave you the pink one. They give everyone the pink one. No purple? The purple makes you happy. So happy" Anna said
Anna quickly swiped Caroline's pills and hid them into the waistband of her pants.
"We're gonna have fun tonight" Anna said
Katherine sighed as she looked over the files of the patients. She didn't enjoy being a nurse, but it was one of the few jobs she was able to get, even though it was the graveyard shift. And yes she forged her credentials a bit. But a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do. She flipped through the files and sighed.
Anna snuck out of her room and into Caroline's. Caroline was asleep in bed. She walked over to her quietly.
"Hey wake up" Anna said
Caroline lifted her head up.
"Anna? What are you doing here?"
"Let's switch pills"
Anna took out her pile of pills and laid them onto the bed. Caroline was shocked at the sheer number she had.
"I trade with people" Anna said
"How?"
"Some people want to feel happy all the time, others want to sleep, some want to float." Anna said
Caroline looked out the glass wall.
"Don't worry, the new nurse is kinda lazy and she doesn't make her rounds. We can walk around if you want" Anna said as she gathered up her pills.
Caroline walked down the hallway quietly. She walked past the different rooms until she stopped at one. There were no glass walls, just a heavy door. She stood on her toes and looked inside the small glass window of the door. She could see the moonlight enter the small room, she could tell it was padded. She could see the silhouette of someone leaning against the wall.
"That's Klaus, he's no fun" Anna said
"Why?"
"He doesn't take his meds so they force him, so we can't share"
"Why is he in a different room?"
"He's really violent, he's not allowed to interact with anyone. They keep him in there most of the time. Unless his brother visits"
"That's sad"
"At least he gets visitors"
The sound of footsteps approaching caused the girls to run back to their rooms. Caroline ran into her room and pulled the blanket over and pretended to sleep. Anna ran back to her room and did the same. An orderly walked down the hallway and made sure everyone was in bed.
Caroline sat at the table looking at the board game. Her mother sat across from her.
"Are you feeling better?" Liz asked
"The food here sucks. I'd do anything for a bacon cheeseburger with fries, no onion rings!"
"I can't help you with that"
"You can, you could just bring me one, and then I'll be happy"
"I've talked to the doctors, they say you're not improving"
"I'm fine"
"No you're not"
"Mom"
"Please, just get better"
"I am better"
Caroline pulled the sleeve up of her shirt to show her mother. Her forearm was littered with little cuts that were fading and healing.
"See?! Why don't you believe me!?" Caroline yelled
"Show me your other arm"
"Why can't you believe me for once?!"
"Show me!"
"I want a cheeseburger!"
Liz grabbed Caroline's other arm and pulled her sleeve up. The marks and cuts were faded and healing.
"I told you! Why can't you believe me!?"
"I'm sorry. Your doctors say you haven't made any progress"
"Maybe I hate my doctors cause all they do is try to feel me up!"
"Caroline!"
"It's true! And you don't believe me! Fine!"
Elijah walked into the common room holding a paper bag. He saw two blondes sitting at his normal table so he moved onto the couch. Klaus walked in and sat next to his brother.
"A peace offering" Elijah said
Klaus opened the bag and looked inside. It was a cheeseburger and onion rings. Klaus reached in and took a bite of the onion ring.
"I just want a burger and onion rings!" Caroline screamed
Everyone turned and looked at her. Liz was visibly embarrassed. Caroline was on the verge of tears.
"You never believed me! Even when I told you what was happening!"
"Caroline!"
"I hate you!" Caroline ran off
Klaus was being lead back to his room when he passed Caroline's. He stopped and looked at her laying on her bed. He dropped the paper bag inside her doorway and continued walking. Caroline's head popped up. She recognized the familiar scent. She jumped up and grabbed the bag. She looked down the hallway and saw Klaus being put into his room. Caroline opened the bag and inhaled the smell of the greasy goodness. She picked one up and quickly shoved it into her mouth.
Anna showed up in her room later that night.
"Ugh, why does it smell like onions in here?" Anna asked
"Onion rings, I've been wanting them for so long"
"Did your mom bring it?"
"No, my mom doesn't want anything to do with me. The guy in the padded room left it here"
"Klaus?"
"Yeah him"
"Maybe he likes you"
"Doubt it"
"Let's go"
Anna walked down the hallway quietly with Caroline behind her. Caroline stopped at Klaus's door. She looked in and saw the same silhouette by the window. Caroline reached down to the doorknob and opened the door.
"What are you doing?" Anna hissed
"I just want to thank him"
She opened the door slowly and Klaus looked at the doorway. He saw her standing there, the light enveloping her body. She looked like an angel. He got up slowly and walked over to her.
"Hi" Caroline squeaked
"Hello" Klaus answered
"Thanks"
"I was already full"
"Thanks though, I've been craving them forever. Is there anything you want?"
Klaus's gaze bore into her eyes and she felt uncomfortable.
"Art supplies" Klaus answered
"Like crayons?"
"It's a start"
"Klaus can't have anything sharp, he gets stabby" Anna said
"I'll try" Caroline said
"Do they give you the purple pill?" Anna asked
"Sometimes" Klaus answered
"You should try and pretend to take it, then we can trade" Anna said
"How do you do that?"
"Here I'll show you"
Elijah handed the bag of greasy food to Klaus who took it in his hands. He opened the paper bag and took out the onion ring and ate it. Elijah looked at Klaus's hands and noticed there was a bit of color under his nails.
"The doctors say you're not refusing your meds" Elijah said
"I like onion rings"
"I can see that. If I knew that it only took onion rings to make you take your meds I would have bought you a truckload"
"If only it were that easy"
"Where did you get paint?"
"I didn't"
"I can see it under your nails"
"It's blood"
"When it's safe for you I'll bring you back your art supplies"
Klaus took a bite of his burger and continued to eat.
"Rebekah and Kol miss you."
"I doubt they remember me"
"They do"
Caroline was running her hands over the pastels her mother had brought her. They looked so perfect neatly placed in the box. Her mother sighed and took them out of the box. Caroline wasn't allowed anything remotely sharp. Caroline gathered the pastels as they were rolling around the table.
"When did you suddenly gain an interest in art?" Liz asked
"Since I'm stuck in here"
"Well did you like the crayons I got you last week?"
"I'm not 5 mom"
Caroline tip toed down the hallway and opened Klaus's door. Klaus took a step outside and Caroline showed him the pastels her mother had given her. They rushed back to her room, where he started to sketch and draw. He saw that Caroline had devoured all the onion rings. Caroline looked at what he was drawing.
"It's cute, a pony" Caroline said
"It's not a pony, it's a stallion"
"it's still cute"
"Did you get enough onion rings love?"
"Never enough"
Anna appeared and Klaus set all the purple pills on the table. Anna squealed in delight and picked them up.
"The new nurse is hooking up with one of the orderlies" Anna said
"Really?" Caroline asked
"Yeah, they're gonna be busy for a bit, so let's go to the pool" Anna said
"There's a pool?" Caroline asked
The three of them were sneaking down the hallway. The nurse's station was empty. Klaus jumped over the table and opened the cabinet filled with files. He took his out and looked at it.
"I hate this picture" Klaus said as he read his file
Anna reached in and pulled out her own.
"Ugh they really need to work on angles" Anna said
Caroline saw hers and nervously picked it up. She read through what they had wrote about her.
Nervous, agitated, does not engage in therapy. Closed off. No current evidence of self harm. Previous scars indicate self harm on the forearms. Claims abuse and molestation by mother's boyfriend. No physical evidence.
Caroline hated what they wrote about her. She started tearing up the file. Klaus and Anna looked at her.
"What are you doing?" Anna asked
"None of it is true! I hate them!" Caroline tore her file to pieces
Klaus joined in and started tearing his file. Anna ripped hers as well and then started tearing up the other files. Finally they started throwing the files and papers into the air. They all laughed, the first time in a long time.
"Let's get out of here" Anna said
The three were running down the hallways when Klaus saw a wheelchair.
"Get in" Klaus said
The two girls climbed in and Klaus started pushing them down the hallway. They were flying down the hallway giggling, trying not to make too much noise. He saw the sign for the swimming pool and headed in that direction. They burst through the doors and saw the swimming pool. Klaus couldn't stop and the three of them went flying in. They laughed as the surfaced the water. They splashed each other and swam around. Caroline ducked under the water and saw as Klaus's shirt floated up, he had numerous scars and marks on his body. Some were faded but she saw a huge scar on his back. She pushed back up to the surface.
"Why don't they let us swim here?" Caroline asked
"Cause they don't want us messing up their pool. Only the doctors and nurses use the pool" Anna said
"Then we should pee in it!" Caroline said
The trio left the pool when their skin started to get pruney. They were dripping as they walked down the hallway. They ducked into an office as they heard footsteps. They waited and the footsteps were gone.
"It's doctor Mason's office" Anna said
"You need to communicate better" Klaus imitated Mason
"You need to express what you're feeling" Anna added
"You're not getting better because you're not admitting you have a problem" Caroline said
They all laughed.
"He's such an ass" Klaus said
"I think he gets paid by how many of us are in here" Anna said
"He must, and he's so grabby" Caroline said
"Did he touch you?" Klaus asked
"He always tries, but then he catches himself and stops. Doesn't matter he's bigger than me. Not like I can stop him." Caroline said
"I'll kill him" Klaus said
"No, don't!" Caroline said
"Just put the pink pill in his coffee" Anna said
The door to the roof opened and Klaus jumped through it. He inhaled deeply. It had been a while since he had been outside. Anna and Caroline were jumping around looking up at the sky. The stars were beginning to fade.
"This has been the best night ever" Caroline said
"We should do it again" Anna said
"Definitely" Klaus said
The three stood there, and watched the sun come up. The colors swirled together in pinks, purples and a hint of orange. Caroline felt Klaus's hand take hold of hers. She looked down at his hand and then back up at him. She smiled and for the first time she saw him smile at her. Klaus was the one who gave her onion rings and never wanted anything really in return except art supplies. And he didn't judge her. He made her feel safe. Without thinking she jumped into his arms. Klaus took a step back, surprised by her small frame crashing into his body. His eyes went wide with shock as her lips were on his. Her lips were soft, as she kissed him. Her hands reached into his hair as she kissed him harder.
"Wow I'm taking the purple pill now" Anna said
The three of them stood on the room, looking at the sky and everything around them.
"We should get back before they notice us gone" Klaus said
"Too bad we can't just grow wings and fly away" Anna said
"One day, one day we'll leave and never come back here again" Klaus said
"One day" Caroline said
The three walked down back to their rooms. Anna smiled as she went back to her room, while Klaus lingered in Caroline's. She gathered up his sketches and hid them under her mattress..
"Thank you Caroline" Klaus said
Caroline smiled shyly. Klaus lifted her wrist to his mouth and kissed it.
"You're beautiful"
Caroline felt all the air leave her lungs. He lifted her other wrist and kissed it. He pulled her long sleeves up and kissed the scars.
"You're getting better" Klaus said
"No I'm not"
"It's hard. I know. But you'll make it. You'll get better and you'll get out of here and never look back"
"I'm not better. I'm worse"
"Caroline?"
Caroline pulled the waistband of her pants down to expose her hip bone. Klaus tried not to gasp. His eyes went wide. Her porcelain skin was meticulously covered with small cuts. They were fresh. Klaus dropped to his knees infront of her. His lips pressed onto her delicate skin. He kissed her cuts and his tongue darted out licking her skin. He pulled her pants further down. He could see that her cutting was strategically place where her underwear covered.
"You're beautiful Caroline" Klaus said
"No I'm not"
"You are, you're strong and full of light and you're going to get out of here"
"Why are you being so nice to me?"
Klaus stood up, pulling her pants up, covering her cuts.
"I fancy you"
Caroline's cheeks flush red. She looks down and he lifts her chin up.
"Is that so hard to believe?" Klaus asks
"Yes"
"Why?"
"Because I'm so screwed up!"
"We all are"
Caroline leans into his chest. Her arms wrap around him and for a moment she feels safe. He nuzzles into her hair and holds her tightly.
"Thank you for tonight" Caroline said
"I won't let anything bad happen to you. I promise"
"Thank you"
"I'll see you in the morning"
Klaus leans in quickly for a kiss. He knows the orderlies will be walking by soon. He almost wants to get caught if he gets to spend another minute with her. But he knows that she'll be in his thoughts while he's locked inside that padded room for all those hours. Caroline watches him as he walks down the hallway and goes back into his room. The door clicks and she knows she'll see him again later in the day. She climbs into bed and tries to sleep, but the sensation of his kiss lingers on her lips still.
Thank you for reading. And if you are cutting there is help out there, don't hesitate to get it.