Anya's POV:
This is so great! I figured out that I can still do vengeance, even in this weak human form! You see it all started last week. I came down the steps into the basement expecting to have sex with Xander and saw him sitting on his bed looking glum. Now my first instincts were to continue with my plans, since sex always makes me feel better, but when he didn't respond properly to my advances I was forced to ask him what was wrong. This is really where my story starts.
"Sorry An, I'm just worried about Buffy," As usual, can't he ever worry about me?
"As usual, don't you ever worry about me?"
"I worry about you! Not that you need to be worried about or anything but I care and..." he's so cute when he's flustered, "It's just that this asshole slept with Buffy and she thought it meant something then he said it didn't mean anything and was just fun, now she's really beat up about it." Typical male.
"Typical man. If I still had my powers I could hand her his entrails." God, I miss my powers.
"Hey, An, he's an asshole but that doesn't mean he deserves death." I'm getting an idea.
"You know I could still do vengeance, I don't need powers" I'm heading home to plan.
"Wait! Your not going to seriously hurt this guy are you?"
"Not physically. Do you want to hear about it?"
"No! Maybe later but if that's true then well, go get him!" Oh damn, this means I'm missing sex. Oh well, sex can wait, this is going to be almost as good.
Third person:
As Anya hurried home, she worked out the details of her plan in her head. Then she bumped into someone.
"Oh, sorry" the person apologized, then "Anya!"
"Cordelia." They both looked uncomfortable.
"Well this is awkward." For once Anya was beaten to stating the obvious, "I'm just here to pick up some stuff from my dad, I was going to avoid the scoobies."
"I don't have to tell them"
"That would be great, thanks." They were walking in opposite directions trying to forget when Anya yelled.
"Wait!"
"What?"
"How would you like to help me with something while you're here?"
The next night:
Parker was sitting at a bar on campus; he had had a few drinks and was relaxed and slightly light headed when he saw them. Two women he could only call hot were approaching, a bottle blond and a brunette. 'How could I have missed them on campus?' he thought. They came and each sat on one side and gave him sexy glances.
"Hey there, handsome," the brunette cooed.
"Uh, hey," Parker was used to flirting with girls, but usually he was the one coming on to them, in his sneaky way.
They continued to flirt with him, though the brunette did more of the talking then the blond. Parker figured that they were going to ask him if he had a friend for the blond, but as he had a few more beers, he realized that they didn't seem to need a fourth. This became clear when the blond interrupted the brunette's flirting to say, "I'm bored. Would you like to come and have many orgasms with us two young nubile women?"
If Parker were smarter and soberer, this frankness would have seemed suspicious, but as it was after the brunette said, "My friend is kind of frank, but that is the general idea." He readily followed them out of the bar.
Cordelia's POV:
I cannot believe I let Anya talk me into this. I don't even like Buffy that much! I guess that doesn't mean I can let this jerk get away with what he did to her, but this seems a bit extreme to me. We're in the woods behind the UC Sunnydale campus, and Anya's tying this guy to a tree with wet pantyhose. God, he's stupid, he hasn't even caught on that he's naked, and neither of us has taken anything off.
"Um, uh, sweetheart? You're tying those things a little tight."
"Don't worry; they'll loosen when they dry." He actually seems reassured by Anya saying that. Any idiot could tell those things will just tighten. Oh, hey, he's all tied, this is my cue.
"Say cheese" I snap a picture, "That's for all those girls you used and then left broken hearted."
Someone will find him in the morning, at least after Anya and I run his clothes up the campus flagpole with his ID and an explanatory note. She'll circulate the pictures, with Buffy getting the first one, and he'll be the laughing stock of the school. Ooh! He's got cash in his wallet. Looks like this wasn't an entirely wasted trip after all.
"You can leave now. Please do, I appreciate your assistance with my mission of vengeance, but I don't want you around Xander, he might decide he wants to have orgasms with you again instead of me." Orgasms with Xander Harris! Yeah, right. Still, this girl's frank, I could grow to like her if I wasn't going right back to L.A.
"Orgasms with Xander Harris! Yeah, right," Uh, oh, now she's glaring, I better back up, "Don't worry; I'm leaving, heading straight back to L.A. You can enjoy your orgasms without interference, just call me and tell me how this all turns out."
"Good, I will."
The Next Morning:
Buffy wakes up to a knock on the door of her dorm room. She can feel the salt tracks from her tears last night, but hopes she doesn't look too awful. Willow already got up and went to class. She opens the door, to find Anya standing there, to her great surprise, holding what looked like a photo in her hand.
"Anya, what are you doing here? Is Xander alright?"
"Xander is fine; I came here to give you this." She hands Buffy the picture, "I did some vengeance on your behalf last night, with help from an unnamed party. You also might want to check the flagpole"
It's too early for Buffy to take that all in, so she looks down at the picture, and then looks up at Anya again wide-eyed, before running to the window to look at the flagpole. "You mean... You left him...?" Before Anya can answer, Buffy hears a girl in the hall.
"Yeah, he was just tied naked to a tree out behind campus, and wouldn't say how he got there! To think I almost went out with that guy!" The voice fades away, and Buffy breaks out laughing so hard she has to lie on her bed while she struggles to stop.
"Officially as the slayer I disapprove of this, a vamp could have found him, but thank you Anya, the jerk got what he deserved!"
"So you won't mope around anymore, and Xander can stop worrying and give me lots of pleasurable orgasms again?"
Buffy wrinkles her nose, "Way too much information, but yes, Xander can stop worrying about me."
Anya's POV:
Xander did not seem to be very happy about me doing vengeance again, but he came around when he realized that that jerky typical man got what was coming to him and that Buffy was fine. Then he stopped worrying and can now concentrate on giving me orgasms again, which was the point of the whole thing, so I think it ended very well. Maybe I should keep doing vengeance, even as a human...