It'd
been three months since Edward had left, Bella was alive, but she
didn't want to be. Jacob had been helping her but there wasn't much
he could do, all Bella could do was think about Edward, and why he
had left.I woke up again from
another dream, about him.
He was about to come back but...then my alarm went off. I rolled
over lazily flicking off the blinking light.I sat up on my elbows and
rubbed my eyes, they were wet,again. I streched and got outta bed.
Walking past the mirror i took a double look, the bags didn't look so
bad this morning,it looked like i didn't have black eyes for once.
Three hours of sleep in two weeks was a record for me so far.
Ever
since Edward had left I had terrible utterly terrible nightmares.
They began to take over me, Jacob said i looked like a zombie walking
around the house, not knowing what i wanted to do. Since i wasn't
much for eating lately i lost ten pounds. Jacob was worried and
forced me to eat, Charlie started making mac and cheese every night
to try and help but i only ate as much as i could stand. Jacob wished
he could stay with me 24/7 but i had to go to school.
That morning
i slid into my baggy sweats and pulled on a sweatshirt.I wasn't much
for trying to look perfect this morning. I just wanted to get the day
over with. I walked downstairs quietly,Charlie met me at the bottom
stair.
"Going to school?"
"Yep"
"Please
eat this, it might help"he gestured toward the pop-tart in his
hands. i sighed taking it and taking a small bite to please him. The
last thing i wanted was Charlie to worry that i was puking to loose
weight or something. I walked out into the rain and started the
truck. I looked behind me ..what was that? Had someone been standing
there? I shook my head, probably just my mind. I hope.
When i
pulled into the parking lot i was immedately ambushed by Angela.
"Oh
Bella im so glad your here"
"Um hi Ang."Why
is she talking like i'm going to run a mile with her.
She
grabbed my arm as soon as i set foot on the ground,and yanked me
towards the school walking faster than i'd like to go at that
moment.
"Amber and Mike are at it again ,fighting about if
your healthy or not."
"Great.."
We walked up to
the mid yelling conversation by the front doors.
"She's
perfectly fine, shes just going through the stages...i mean after
Edward moved."They both paused when she said his name, i walked
in between them.
"Why."was all i could ask them
"We
just think," Mike began before Amber cut him off with a deadly
look."Mike,your going to make her feel terrible."she said
acidly still looking at him as if she could set him ablaze.
"Well
I think that you
should get over Edward.I mean it's been three months Bella I dont
think he's going to come back."
"He could" i said
after about five minutes of silence. "Bella! For gods sake look
at what he's doing to you! You haven't slept a full night in
weeks,you haven't been eating how skinny you've gotten!"
He grabbed my bare arm and shook it violently.
"Stop Mike"i
muttered, trying to push back the water pushing against my
lashes.
Mike began yelling at me,inches from my face "Bella
its the truth!"he grabbed my chin forcing me too look at his
eyes."Bella he's destroying you in a way. Little by little,your
dying." I was took back by what Mike had said, destroying
me? As the words sunk in Mike let me go and
stood there slumping in his posture,his hands in his hoodie pocket.
He looked at me as my eyes closed. "Don'..again."i
muttered slowly making sure he understood how furious i was. He took
a step towards me his body looked bigger than his slumping showed,
the anger over took me and i pulled my arm back as far as i could and
punched Mike in the eye as hard as i could.
I heard everybody gasp
but i ignored them,"Don't come near me ever again"i said
slowly emphazing every word. I turned around and looked at my friends
eyes,dis-belief filled with confusion at me. I shoved my way out of
the circle and began running towards the trees. As soon as i was
fifty yards behind the trees something tripped me,hard as stone it
felt like at my ankle. I fell catching myself on my hands and knees
on the dirty moist ground. I looked behind me trying to see what i
triped over but gave up with all the water in my eyes seeing wasn't
possible at the moment. I got up again leaving my bag on the ground,i
didn't need it. I kept running and running till i found the exact
spot i was looking for. The exact spot where Edward had shown me why
he didn't go into the sunlight,because his skin glistened like
millions of diamonds across his perfect flawless skin. I looked
around as the tears ran down my eyes,i blinked furiously trying to
see slightly. I couldn't take it anymore, i had kept this anger which
had for some reason popped up thanks to Mike. I fell to my knees
scratching at the ground until i found a good size rock and chucked
it at the nearest tree,forming a dent in its moist trunk. It made me
feel slightly better so i kept searching for rocks and flinging them
at the same tree. After five minutes there was a five inch wide dent
in the brown bark. I sat down on the stone and wrapped my arms around
my knees, comfort was what i needed. Security,safety. But all that
was with a person who i had no clue where had gone. Left me. I began
to think of the day he finally stayed with me,the night we first
kissed and he stayed,watching me sleep after i talked for an hour.
More tears began to well up in my eyes,i blinked letting them roll
down and stain my pants. Where had he gone to? Why had he left when
he knew he was everything to me. As i cried in my own lap the
atmosphere around me changed. It felt like i wasn't the only one
there. Jacob? No Jake would have come and said something already. I
raised my head slowly but saw nothing, "Who cares anymore"
i whispered to myself. "Its not like theres anybody that would
notice."
"That's what i expected you to say."A
familiar voice sounded from right beside me, I jumped falling off the
stone and onto the cold ground again. I looked up and saw the small
pixie shape of Alice. "Alice? What....what are you doing here?"I
studdered. Alice smiled and overed her hand out towards me,I stared
at it stupidly and then finally took it as she explained "Did
you really think that I'd leave you with your wordrobe?" She
smiled pulling me into a small hug then pulled away and wiped at my
cheek,"Have you lost weight? Bella how much sleep have you been
getting?"she asked worriedly looking at the bags under my eyes
probably.I pulled away slowly holding her hands,"Not much since
you, and ....Edward and the rest left. Nightmares keep me up alot"
I mummered dragging my foot across the dirt. Alice gently squeezed at
my hands,the cold made me look up at her smiling pixie face. She was
smiling but still looked worried,not much of a suprise. "We came
back Bella." she said with a smile in her voice. My eyes widened
at the thought of all the Cullens standing in their huge house in the
middle of the forest,smiling with their marble sking and flawless
smiles. I imagined Edward standing there waiting. Alice's voice
brought me back to reality as she continued to talk,"Edward and
the rest of us couldn't stand Alaska anymore. Although I never saw
much of Edward, he traveled alot. Brazil,Italy back here a couple
times. I told him if he wanted to come back we'd go back.I couldn't
stand being away from you as much as he couldn't. Jasper said that he
had to calm Edward down more than usual while we were
there,constantly worrying,sadness." Her eyes stayed on my eyes,
as i listened intently. "Your all
back?"i asked when she finshed looking in her eyes for any sign
of anything but truth."Yes Bella that means Edward too."she
gently smiled at me. I couldn't help smiling myself as i looked down
thinking again of his gold eyes. "Did he not want to see me?"i
asked looking behind her for any sign of anybody else following
her,"No i decided to come on my own. Edward's going crazy
helping Jasper put things away. He'll be looking for you in three
minutes. I was planning on taking you there with me after i found
i decided to let you get your anger out on the tree before i
intervened."She answered giggling gesturing towards the tree
with her eyes. I smiled weakly, "People at school..."i said
simply. "I saw,and Edward did too. You have no clue how angry he
got when he saw your reaction in my mind. But pleased that you
punched him." I stood up slowly my arms around my waist."Not
one of my proudest moments."i rubbed my knuckles gently,they
tingled still from the accident with Mike's eye. I wondered if he had
a nice big black eye now. Alice stood too and hugged me,"Please
come to the house. Everyone has been talking about you."
"Wait,everyone?" i asked raising an eye brow. Alice
giggled,"Yes silly. You forget you were part of the family. We
still consider you to be family." I blushed slightly, thinking
about Esme and Carlise, they had been so kind to me. Even Emmett and
Jasper took me in and protected and played with me like a little
sister. "Can we go now Alice?" I asked with a smile. Alice
smiled back and i hoped on her back as she rocketed into the forest,
we were at the house in what felt like seconds. I jumped off and
caught my breathe. "Whew i forgot how much air that took out of
my lungs." i wheezed. Alice laughed,"Sorry i forgot it's
been a while since you had our piggy back ride." I laughed with
her as we walked towards the front of the Cullen's massive garage. I
could hear quiet talking, sounded like Carlise and somebody. "Emmett,
Carlise, look who i found!" Alice's soprano voice carried
through the garage as both Emmett and Carlise stopped talking and
immedately looked at me smiling. "Bella!" Emmetts voice
boomed, i found myself inwrapped in a bear hug. I laughed with what
air i had, "Emmett i still have to breathe!" I wiggled as
he dropped me back on the floor. I looked over laughing still and
found Carlise opening his arms , "It's been too long Bella"
he said quietly. I walked over and hugged him tightly. "Way too
long Carlise, I've missed you" He pulled away his hands firm on
my shoulders. "Far too long, you haven't been sleeping well, or
eating much have 's wrong?" his medical side took over
immedately seeing how skinny i had gotten. "Nightmares..."
i whispered. "It'll be ok now Bella I can see it" Alice
said giggleing in a dramatic genies voice. I smiled as i heard
another voice entering the garage. "Bella!" Esme's
comforting voice flitted through the room as she glided towards me.
She wrapped me in a hug as she talking quietly, "Oh you dont
know how happy i am too see you safe, but not so well" she said
looking me over as she pulled away just like Carlise had done. "We
can fix that" she smiled. I smiled but noticed that everyones
face had gone to looking at something behind me. Esme's arms pulled
away leaving me and walked back to stand by Carlise. "We'll give
you a minute." she said quietly, and with that they were all
gone. I took three steps forward."What?" I looked around,
"What is she talking about?" i whispered to myself.
"Bella." i heard the same velvet voice that i had been
wanting for so long come from behind me. I slowly turned looking from
the ground up, finding Edward standing closer than two feet behind
me,gazing down at me. I gazed back into the warm gold. "Edward."i
whispered. He didn't say anything, just gazing I watched as his eyes
wandered up and down me once, taking me in at once. I heard him take
in a deep breath,"I heard Alice's thought's as she was coming
back."he said quietly still gazing at me, motionless. "Edward,I
didn't think you were coming back." i said out of no where.
Edward frowned,"I couldn't ,....stay away from you." I just
stood there,silent. "Nothing felt right without you Bella,"
he continued not breaking the gaze. "You were all i thought,
felt, smelled, tasted. I've never stopped loving you but i can't stay
away. Alice told you i came back a few times. I'm not suprised that
Jacob didn't tell you, we ran into each other once. I watched you
sleep twice. I wanted to lay down with you like we used to so badly
it burned." His hands turned into fists clenching tightly. I
sighed and took his right hand tightly into mine, instantly it
uncoiled and he wound his fingers between mine. "You should have
would have been so comforting to me. I might have slept
that night." i said staring at our hands, i didn't notice that i
had water coming down my eyes until a drop fell onto the concrete.
Edward's free hand found its self at my cheek,wiping at my eyes
slowly and gently. I couldn't help my self and leaned into his
felt so natural,so comforting. I sniffed trying to keep my
voice even,"Edward i love you" his arms wrapped themselves
around my waist pulling me into his chest as i laid my forehead
against his shirt staining it slightly with my tears. I felt his
hand lean ontop of mine, he burried his face into my hair as his hand
stroked my back,rubbing it gently. "Oh Bella,I'm so sorry. I
love you please stop crying. It was hard for me as it was for you, i
just hope you haven't moved on from me." I pulled my face up
looking into the gold again. It over took me as i tried to talk
again."Why would i ever move on from the love of my life?"I
asked smilied slightly as he raised one hand to wipe
again at my eyes. I stood onto my tip toes wrapping my arms around
his neck,"I will never stop loving you no matter what you do
've got my heart and i'm not going to ever take it from
your don't leave me again please i can't stand it
anymore,being away from you is like dying slowly more and more each
day." His eyes tightened slightly at the word dying. "Never
again love." Edward lowered his head to mine , i could taste his
sweet breathe,as his lips finally touched mine. My grasp instantly
tightened into his hair, i pulled my self closer to him not allowing
an inch apart from us. I was thank ful he didn't pull away. His lips
moved urgently but slowly against mine. He had needed this as much if
not more than me. I had to break away to breath. He pulled away
slowly gazing back at me he smiled gently as he pecked my lips one
more time before i laid my head against his collarbone. I had my
everything now, "Now you'll be able to get better again."
he looked at my eyes deeply. "I've been having terrible
'll stop now that your here." i replied defiante,
i slowly stroked at his cheek as i rocked back onto my heels. He
chuckled gently,"Let's go inside so you can get something to eat
love." "Worrying already?" i smiled. "I want you
to get better love." he kissed my forehead gently as he wound
one arm around my waist tightly. I sighed deeply as i leaned in
against him walking towards the house. He opened the door for me as
we entered the door. Everybody else was in the kitchen
sitting,standing talking slightly. They all turned and smiled when
they saw Edward and I walking together his arm still around my waist
my arms incircled around his waist. I wasn't letting go now for
anything in the world. Alice clapped happlily and bounced in her
chair while Jasper's arms were around her shoulders, he nodded and
smiled at me like he used to. Emmett walked in front of us, towering
over me but i just laughed at him. He looked at me smiling then mock
punched Edward's shoulder, i frowned i didn't want to see anybody
else touch him but me for now. Even Emmett,"Nice kissing up
Edward." he joked. Edward frowned,"Go three months without
Rosalie then tell me if that was kissing up Emmett."he wrapped
his other arm around me hugging me in place as he laid his head ontop
of mine looking up at Emmett. He frowned and walked backwards around
Rosalie, standing by the window. He hugged her gently and kissed her
cheek,"Ok, maybe it wasn't kissing up."he said shortly
leaning in towards Rosalie's neck. Rosalie smiled and patted his head
looking at him lovingly. "Bella would you like something to
eat?" Rosalie said suddenly looking up at me the same way she
had just been looking at Emmett. I was taken back, she wants to help
me? I studdered for a moment, "Umm,,, yeah actually I am."
Feeling the emptiness in my stomach I looked towards Esme's smiling
face. "Already have something for you honey." she smiled at
me. I grinned and walked towards the counter filled with bar stools.
Edward followed, not breaking out chain and pulled out a stool for me
smiling. I sat down and wrapped his arms around my
shoulders,imitating Jasper and Alice. Esme sat a bowl of cut chicken
and salad in front of me grinning,"i didn't forget your
favorite." "Thank you so much Esme!" I looked longly
at the food. "Um Bella it's not plastic ,eat." Alice's
voice echoed in the quiet room. Everyone laughed as i picked up the
fork sitting next to the bowl and began to pick up the bowl, putting
bite after bite into my mouth. Edward chuckled when i asked for
more,he hugged my shoulders tightly as Esme filled my bowl again."I
love you" he whispered in my ear kissing my neck gently. I
gripped one of his hands and laughed quietly,his cold breath
tickled,everyone else seemed to laugh a little too. Probably not as
stiff as they were before. "Still the same ol Bella" Emmett
said punching Edward again. I tried to glare at him but i couldn't
stop staring into Edwards eyes, Edward seemed to ignore him and laid
his head on my shoulder smiling at me. I felt my cheeks getting hot
and looked down at the floor counting the speaks of color on the
granite below our feet. Edward chuckled again,stroking my cheek "I've
missed that blush." he whispered with a smile in his voice.
