Author's Note: Welcome, everyone, to the Official Fanfiction University of Bleach! Of sorts… This is a one-shot, almost word-for-word from a PM conversation I had with Sariniste. This fic would have taken place sometime after Chapter 52 of her hilarious fic, Dear Bleach Fanfiction Authors, you should check it out! Not just for the context, I'm outright plugging her story, it's so good!

Just to clarify, this won't be a series, maybe… I have rushes of inspiration, and then nothing afterwards, it's rather a shame. Edit 9/15/13: Yeah, I'm going to take back that bit about this not being a series.

Rated T: for language, and just general weirdness.

Credit goes to misscam, a.k.a, Camilla Sandman, for the original idea for Official Fanfiction University. Credit also goes to Sariniste for giving me the push to post this. This one's for you, Sari!

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach in any way, shape or form. Bleach is the property of Tite Kubo. This is a non-profit fanwork. Anything referenced from other properties also do not belong to me.

Original post date: 9/10/13

Edited post date: 9/15/13

Chapter 1: A Day of Male Bonding: part 1

The classroom was bustling with activity, anxious to know what would be taught, here at Male Bonding 101. Despite the disappointment that Captain Hitsugaya had given some of them, the students were very excited at the prospect of super-mega-hottie Grimmjow Jeagerjaquez showing them what men REALLY do with one another.

"Oh my kami, I still can't believe that we're even here!" "I can't believe that I'm here, with characters from my FAVORITE anime, BLEACH!" "What rock have you been living under? Stuff has happened in the manga, too!" "All the guys are so hot..." "When is Gin coming to teach us something?"

As you can see, all of these Bleach fans can't wait to meet and greet the faculty.

"Can I have spiritual powers, too? I want to have super-Bankai, and make Byakuya be my fukutaichou!" "It's LIEUTENANT! You're speaking ENGLISH!" "What do you know? Rukia is, like, the most super kawaii shinigami ever! If I was a guy, I would do her!" "Nuh-uh, Orihime's the cutest! Why else would she be the best girl for Ichigo?" "Ichigo's so boring. He's probably secretly a Bount, too." "Are the movies canon? Kokuto is the most badass one-shot character, ever!" "Why the fuck does Arturo Plateado's dub voice sound so much like a stereotype?" "If Grimmkitty's here, does that mean the Espada are also here, too?!" "Ew, half of them aren't cool. Almost all of them are dead, too." "Is Ulquiorra here? HE'S the best one to claim Orihime's heart. THE HEART."

Oh boy, can we please have a scene change? PLEASE!

Outside the classroom door, Nanao Ise was finishing up drilling Ichigo Kurosaki with his lesson plan, in the hopes that he can win the students over with common sense.

"So, let me get this straight... You want ME to go in there..." Ichigo said, grimacing and pointing to the classroom in disbelief.

Nanao adjusted her glasses and responded, "Yes, you are one of, if not, the most shipped person in this show. You need to get it through their heads that the men do NOT always bond with each other in that way." She let out a sigh in frustration, "Whether or not they want to believe it, at least make sure they understand that you guys don't always want to get under another's hakama all the time."

Ichigo had an incredulous look on his face, "How do you even know o-"

"Out of my way, Soul Reapers!" Grimmjow shouted, as he knocked Ichigo aside, with his hands half-hidden in his pockets while he strolled along. Nanao was quick to get out the way as Ichigo tumbled to the floor. The Espada turned around to face them, his back to the door, and glared at them both as he heard the squees coming from the other side.

Nanao got the first word in, "Ah, Mister Jaggerj- Jaguarjin- mmm... Mister Six! Thank you for giving us some assistance with this matter! You are a valuable asset to the team!" she said, reading from a sheet she had prepared. She continued, "Of course, we would also like to thank you for your input in the best-selling letter collection, Dear Bleach Fanfiction Authors, by Sariniste! We wouldn't be here today, if it weren't for her!".

Grimmjow scowled in disgust. That was one more person to visit on his revenge list. He took one step forward and addressed his coworkers, "Don't think I'll forget this! I'd show you right now, which of us is the strongest, if it weren't for that writhing mass of humans waiting for me inside that door." The Sexta said, turning back towards the classroom door, and then started to walk off to the side! Ichigo noticed his apparent escape, "Hey wait, where are you goi-"

The Espada kicked a hole through the side of the classroom, ignoring the door that was right there, and ignoring a student who had done up his hair like the Espada currently stepping on him. With his entrance, the class of fanboys and fangirls whooped and hollered excitedly at their teacher. Not even caring one bit, Grimmjow made his way to behind the front desk, where all manners of clothing were being thrown there by his fans. None of them were new... "All right, you bastards. Class is in session! I'm here to show you how-"

"Grimmkitty, I love you!"

As soon as he heard those words, Grimmjow reared back and punched straight through the desk in front of him, looking furious as he stood up and said, "All right, who the FUCK said that?!" The class became deathly silent. It seems that their love and adoration is lost when it comes to the violent Hollow standing in front of them. "That's better. If you know what's good for you, you won't do it again." Grimmjow turned around to the blackboard behind him, and began to write in chalk. "Now, class, the name of your King is spelled-"

"Haaa-ahh~"

He had heard an audible collective sigh from behind him. Many of the female students (and some of the males) had also been gazing dreamily at his..."lower back region", as you will. It was clothed, don't think too dirty now... Grimmjow scowled hard, baring his teeth in anger at the hapless students. "Where were you looking just now?" He said, turning his head slowly towards them. After not even waiting a second for an answer, he completely turns himself toward the students and raises his voice at them, "I said, Where Were YOU LOOKING?!" he shouted, charging up a deadly Cero in his right hand!

Nanao and Ichigo were quick to restrain him, as he no longer can be considered "calm" around the students. They had a LONG semester ahead of them...

A/N: So yeah, there you go! That's what I did. Keep in mind; this is a one-shot, currently. I just don't want to unintentionally string anyone along if they want more.

Edit 9/15/13: So, this will expand, thanks to the inspiring words of my reviewers! Thanks, you guys!

Once again, big thanks and original credit goes to Sariniste and misscam, respectively. I couldn't let this idea just sit there!

Please R&R. Thank you!